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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 10:58:01 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

I've already made the community where she lives aware of her activities.

Um....Ok....I dont agree with what she did. I think it's wrong...However...Your above statement indicates that you did exactly what you are condemning her for. She feels that married men or whatever men who email her is wrong for whatever reason in her view, so she exposes them You argue that what she does is wrong then you do the exact same thing to her.

You've "made the community where she lives aware of her activites" as she has made the (vanilla) community, where these men live, aware of *their* activities.

Its either ethical to do this, or unethical. Its not ok for some people but wrong for others.

It is more than married men. If "daddy" is a part of their nic she attacks them like they are pedophiles. She rails against polyamorists...

She could rail on the pope if she believes him to be sin itself. But the question remains. Is it ethical to publically post someones personal info, correspondence, and photos based on personal opinion of what they are doing? Or is it UNethical? It cant be ok for some and not for others.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 181

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:04:37 AM

angelface183

Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

I agree, Marie that maybe the approach should not be eye for an eye, but what do you suggest? She has made a journal entry mentioning that someone was displeased with her blog and she does not care. What she is doing is childish and offensive and in my opinion, a gross overreaction.

Calandra made a list of those that were mentioned and contacted them, was that acceptable? Is there anything that can or should be done?

_____________________________

"...... all that, a bag of chips AND a pickle!!!"

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 182

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:14:07 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelface183
She has made a journal entry mentioning that someone was displeased with her blog and she does not care.

actually the most recent journal entry, where she laughs because someone said her blog was "mean spirited" was aimed at me. I contacted her first and got flamed even though I was very respectful towards her... "mean spirited" were my words exactly...

(in reply to angelface183)

Post #: 183

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:16:33 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelface183
She has made a journal entry mentioning that someone was displeased with her blog and she does not care.

actually the most recent journal entry, where she laughs because someone said her blog was "mean spirited" was aimed at me. I contacted her first and got flamed even though I was very respectful towards her... "mean spirited" were my words exactly...

Be watching her blog. You'll show up next.

FHky

_____________________________

Some people are just idiots.

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 184

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:18:11 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

*Fast Reply*

No clue who this person is with the blog. Curious, as I would prefer not to communicate with such a person...

My take is this - it is unethical, tacky, classless and wreaks of bitterness, to use someone's private information in the way it has been discussed on this thread.

To do the same in retaliation would be held to the same criticism, in my opinion.

However, to let unsuspecting people know they are being "outed" is perfectly acceptable. I know I would want to know if i were on someone's site unknowingly.

We have seen numerous threads here about people (like me) who do not wish to post their own photos and personal names for the reason of privacy. This situation here is presicely why many wait until getting to know someone better before sending such information. It is a shame people resort to such poor taste.

(in reply to angelface183)

Post #: 185

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:18:42 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelface183
Calandra made a list of those that were mentioned and contacted them, was that acceptable? Is there anything that can or should be done?

Much like our Indian friend, the best we can do is ignore it and hope it goes away.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to angelface183)

Post #: 186

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:19:53 AM

angelface183

Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

Thanks, I didn't remember exactly what it said and I really didn't want to revisit it...I kind of wish that she were on line now, but I am sure that she would be incredibly defensive. I know I would be if there were 10 pages devoted to me! (Unless of course those were 10 pages of benji and Loki saying sweet things about me! LOL)

_____________________________

"...... all that, a bag of chips AND a pickle!!!"

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 187

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:23:17 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

Taggard, I have a solution. I see you developed a site called VerifiedBDSM that checks out members. If we would all just join your site everyone could be certified and okay. Think that would work?

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 188

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:24:01 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

oh, I already expect that.... I can handle it though... I'm never hurt, or even personally offended by people like this... The only time someone has the power to hurt me with words is when I deeply respect them, because then I have to consider that what they are saying might be true....

(in reply to FirmhandKY)

Post #: 189

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:25:06 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

I just wanted to point out (and as this thread has taken so many twists and turns this morning I figure this is the place to say it) that threads about threads about children not being allowed are, in fact, not allowed.

Thank you.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to angelface183)

Post #: 190

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:25:59 AM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
Outted already or not, would you want your personal email correspondence to be broadcast over the internet?

While I would not ask for it to be done, I don't say anything in email that I am not willing to stand behind.

I do not give people the power to do me harm. It is one of my codes of living. If you only do and say things of which you are proud and in which you believe, there is nothing anyone can say or do that will harm you. Live your life like everyone is watching all the time...it is just simpler that way.

Taggard

Taggard,

I have to wonder if we are living in the same world. I have been the victim of identity theft. I give out as little information as possible about myself on-line or elsewhere now. And as for my lifestyle? I run a social service agency that works with kids and families. Sorry.....my board of trustees would have my job in seconds.

Would I have a lawsuit possible? Of course. But the publicity and the time it would take would drive me into bankruptcy and I would probably never be able to find work again in my field. While I am proud of my life and lifestyle, others CAN hurt me.

And I would suppose that many on this site are in the same place.

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 191

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:26:49 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Taggard, I have a solution. I see you developed a site called VerifiedBDSM that checks out members. If we would all just join your site everyone could be certified and okay. Think that would work?

Oh no...don't start this again...

I really should take that site down, or change it so it is a simple peer verification site...

But I used to think it was possible to acually do some good in the online community...I am older and more cynical now...

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 192

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:29:30 AM

angelface183

Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

threads about threads about children not being allowed are, in fact, not allowed.

Well dammit! Now we are vulnerable! Look what you have done...we are destined for random stupidity for sure!

_____________________________

"...... all that, a bag of chips AND a pickle!!!"

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 193

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:31:41 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Taggard, I have a solution. I see you developed a site called VerifiedBDSM that checks out members. If we would all just join your site everyone could be certified and okay. Think that would work?

Oh no...don't start this again...

I really should take that site down, or change it so it is a simple peer verification site...

But I used to think it was possible to acually do some good in the online community...I am older and more cynical now...

Oooops, I didn't realize your site had been brought up before. I just followed the link at the bottome of your posts. Sorry.

Edited to add, I have found a new way to spell bottom...sounds kind of sexy, doesn't it?

< Message edited by ExistentialSteel -- 6/3/2006 11:32:38 AM >

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 194

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:34:39 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
I just wanted to point out (and as this thread has taken so many twists and turns this morning I figure this is the place to say it) that threads about threads about children not being allowed are, in fact, not allowed.
Thank you.
Taggard

You know you're going to CollarMe hell doncha?
LOL we need a codename for those small people on the unmentionable thread... I cal them munchkins...

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 195

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:35:48 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119

Taggard,

I have to wonder if we are living in the same world. I have been the victim of identity theft. I give out as little information as possible about myself on-line or elsewhere now.

I wonder this too. I post my full name, my full address, my phone number and just about anything you would want to know about me (I once posted my SSN on this very message board and in the Bondage fora too) online and on my website. I have never had any trouble of any kind. I kind of did it as an experiment, and nothing bad has ever come of it. To be honest, I think identity theives don't use CollarMe.com as a source of victims, as most people won't even give out their real names on here, and the rest lie about it. *wink*

quote:

And as for my lifestyle? I run a social service agency that works with kids and families. Sorry.....my board of trustees would have my job in seconds.

Then, as I said elsewhere in this jumbled mess of a thread, you probably should either find a new job, or live a lifestyle your board would approve of. Bleak and sad, but realistic. Or maybe there is a third option where you work to change the minds of the people on the board so they could accept your lifestyle choices...I'm not sure how realistic that is, however.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 196

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:36:48 AM

nomeci

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
Why should people live their lives ashamed of who they are and what they do?
Taggard

It is not necessarily an issue of being ashamed. Some people are unable to live this lifestyle in the open because the risk of potential fallout is too high... People can lose their children because of this lifestyle... they can lose their jobs...

This lifestyle is very important to me, but it will never be as important to me as my child or my ability to take care of my child. I am not 100% in the closet. My immediate family knows and a couple of people I work with are aware; but my exhusband / his family do not know and 99% of those I work with do not know.

I make these sacrifices willing because my daughter is my first priority and will remain so until she is 18, it has nothing to do with shame whatsoever.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 197

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:39:42 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Oooops, I didn't realize your site had been brought up before. I just followed the link at the bottome of your posts. Sorry.

No worries. I am just too lazy to change my sig.

I have actually been thinking about starting it up again, with a slightly different twist. No money making, just a way to peer verify people in the scene. Kinda like a 6 degrees of separation sort of thing. Maybe have a few free tests for fun, and maybe work in real life workshop and event registration sorts of things.

Meh, who knows what I'll do...

quote:

Edited to add, I have found a new way to spell bottom...sounds kind of sexy, doesn't it?

I think it is cool! Kinda like Domme...maybe Dommes have bottomes, while us Doms have bottoms.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 198

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:41:14 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

hey there you kissable sweety pie!

I was wondering when you'd jump in and help me create havoc... erm, debate, yeah debate, thats what I meant to say....

(in reply to nomeci)

Post #: 199

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 11:45:11 AM

Franci3

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

*Fast Reply*

No clue who this person is with the blog. Curious, as I would prefer not to communicate with such a person...

My take is this - it is unethical, tacky, classless and wreaks of bitterness, to use someone's private information in the way it has been discussed on this thread.

To do the same in retaliation would be held to the same criticism, in my opinion.

However, to let unsuspecting people know they are being "outed" is perfectly acceptable. I know I would want to know if i were on someone's site unknowingly.

We have seen numerous threads here about people (like me) who do not wish to post their own photos and personal names for the reason of privacy. This situation here is presicely why many wait until getting to know someone better before sending such information. It is a shame people resort to such poor taste.

quote:

agree, Marie that maybe the approach should not be eye for an eye, but what do you suggest? She has made a journal entry mentioning that someone was displeased with her blog and she does not care. What she is doing is childish and offensive and in my opinion, a gross overreaction.

Calandra made a list of those that were mentioned and contacted them, was that acceptable? Is there anything that can or should be done?

Ownedgirlie, couldn't agree more

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 200

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