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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:31:01 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

she meant blog... a web based journal or diary... where others can read your innermost thoughts if you allow them to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
What is a BOG?

thank you,

pinkee

IMO, a blog is just as private a setting as an email, and marieToo acted unethically in posting what she did. ~i now bow out of this.~

pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/3/2006 12:34:01 PM >

(in reply to Calandra)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:33:54 PM

LiliesDoGrow

Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

Sometimes when people suffer a great personal trauma, or experience a deep betrayal, they will attack what they feel is the source of their agony.

Not assuming that this is why the young lady who has posted the Blog of Shame writes in the manner she does in regards to CM members. To me her words exhibit excruitiating pain.

I noticed that even some of the gentlemen she attacked made attempts to understand her anger towards them through calm email communication. Yet she saw this as further attack.

Someone, or some situation hurt her badly. She's never going to let that happen again and keeps everyone at a distance. It's difficult to be angry towards a young one so injured.

Just an assumption that she's hurt. I can't imagine where else the wish to publicly humilate others comes from.

(in reply to champagnewishes)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:34:11 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nomeci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
~sticking my beautifully sandalled feet out into the middle of the room to show off my new toenail polish...~

oh god - dont get her started talking about toes! lol

~rolls eyes exaggeratedly~
I take this woman to see Lord of the Rings at an IMAX theater for godsakes.... a multimillion-dollar production, beautifully rendered, and all she can do is cringe and shiver about the hobbit's feet....

around this house, when we wanna drive her into her bedroom, cubby and I just chant "hobbit feet, hobbit feet" LOL

She's been known to actually safeword.... ROFLMAO

(in reply to nomeci)

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Post #: 223

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:35:32 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

Suddenly after Calandra exposed someone for doing something that she feels is wrong, people begun *supporting* public exposure. Therefore, it would seem hypocritical, in my view, to say its ok in some cases but not in others. The problem comes in when we think about what is right/wrong, moral/immoral...these things are all subject to individual interpretation. You will never find 100% agreeing that polyamory is moral/immoral, that cheating on a spouse is good/bad etc. In other words, to this girl....married men who email her should be exposed. To Calandra people who expose married men in vanilla communites should be exposed. What I am seeing here is a double standard---two sets of rules---ie....For the girl is was wrong because of a, b, and c. For Calandra it was right because of x, y and z.

marieToo

Please review my earlier post. i don't know whether the information you posted about Calandra is true, and i don't know how you came into possession of it if it is true. The obvious delight you took in posing Calandra as a hypocrite does not, IMO, justify what you have done.

pinkee

You either cant read and comprehend basic english, or you need a cause in your life to badly that you'll just spout shit aimlessly, after you friggin admit in your first post that you havent even READ the entire thread. How dare you put words in my mouth and sling accusations without a complete read. I would explain myself completely to you, had your post been written in a tone of sincerity and respect. But because it isnt, you are not deserving of my respect, nor do you even qualify as intelligent enough to be argument-worthy. End of story.

(in reply to pinkee)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:37:06 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiliesDoGrow

Sometimes when people suffer a great personal trauma, or experience a deep betrayal, they will attack what they feel is the source of their agony.

Not assuming that this is why the young lady who has posted the Blog of Shame writes in the manner she does in regards to CM members. To me her words exhibit excruitiating pain.

I noticed that even some of the gentlemen she attacked made attempts to understand her anger towards them through calm email communication. Yet she saw this as further attack.

Someone, or some situation hurt her badly. She's never going to let that happen again and keeps everyone at a distance. It's difficult to be angry towards a young one so injured.

Just an assumption that she's hurt. I can't imagine where else the wish to publicly humilate others comes from.

See my post above. Wht's unclear? If you were invited as one of the blogger's readers, the material is private. Gawd, this is annoying. Doesn't A/anyone understand the concept of confidentiality?

pinkee

(in reply to LiliesDoGrow)

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Post #: 225

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:38:38 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

she meant blog... a web based journal or diary... where others can read your innermost thoughts if you allow them to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
What is a BOG?

thank you,

pinkee

IMO, a blog is just as private a setting as an email, and marieToo acted unethically in posting what she did. ~i now bow out of this.~

pinkee

Um, pinkee?
I'm not aware of marie posting any private material.... everything we've been discussing today was posted right here and discussed by all... and the person who originated the offensive blog has not responded to this thread all day...

I mentioned earlier in PUBLIC here that I contacted a few people in the person's home town community to warn them that she outs people... marie feels that I am using a double standard, which I AGREE, but feel that My reason is sufficient.

I know I can sleep easy tonight with my decisions... ~smiles~

I hope I cleared that up?

(in reply to pinkee)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:42:21 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
IMO, a blog is just as private a setting as an email

Not if the blog is advertised on a person's public profile, which in this case, it is.

(in reply to pinkee)

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Post #: 227

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:44:18 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

she meant blog... a web based journal or diary... where others can read your innermost thoughts if you allow them to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
What is a BOG?

thank you,

pinkee

IMO, a blog is just as private a setting as an email, and marieToo acted unethically in posting what she did. ~i now bow out of this.~

pinkee

Um, pinkee?
I'm not aware of marie posting any private material.... everything we've been discussing today was posted right here and discussed by all... and the person who originated the offensive blog has not responded to this thread all day...

I mentioned earlier in PUBLIC here that I contacted a few people in the person's home town community to warn them that she outs people... marie feels that I am using a double standard, which I AGREE, but feel that My reason is sufficient.

I know I can sleep easy tonight with my decisions... ~smiles~

I hope I cleared that up?

Calandra, i am totally confused about the specific facts and to damned lazy to read 11 pages to try and parse them out. i gave my opinion, the law, and the CM TOS for general purposes. It's up to You to apply it to Your own conduct, not me (assuming You found my original post to contain reliable information.)

You don't need my approval.

i do wish You a good night's sleep.

pinkee

< Message edited by pinkee -- 6/3/2006 12:45:52 PM >

(in reply to Calandra)

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Post #: 228

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:45:44 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

Suddenly after Calandra exposed someone for doing something that she feels is wrong, people begun *supporting* public exposure. Therefore, it would seem hypocritical, in my view, to say its ok in some cases but not in others. The problem comes in when we think about what is right/wrong, moral/immoral...these things are all subject to individual interpretation. You will never find 100% agreeing that polyamory is moral/immoral, that cheating on a spouse is good/bad etc. In other words, to this girl....married men who email her should be exposed. To Calandra people who expose married men in vanilla communites should be exposed. What I am seeing here is a double standard---two sets of rules---ie....For the girl is was wrong because of a, b, and c. For Calandra it was right because of x, y and z.

marieToo

Please review my earlier post. i don't know whether the information you posted about Calandra is true, and i don't know how you came into possession of it if it is true. The obvious delight you took in posing Calandra as a hypocrite does not, IMO, justify what you have done.

pinkee

pinkee, marie is posing some well considered positions about the situation... and I am not offended by her points. I think that even on the rare occasions that we go against our own ethics because we feel it is the right thing to do, we should at least be willing to ask the hard questions. marie is asking questions that I might ask if the shoe were on the other foot...

To marie: I have one for you... we all agree that privacy is important, what about this example... you see someone that you know to be a sex offender hanging around a playground full of children... now this person is not doing anything to endanger the children, but you know the threat is there because of actions he has taken in the past... do you go to the parents sitting close by, or even the police and report what you know? I'd hope to hear you say yes, because sometimes one person's need/want of privacy infringes upon another person's right to be informed of potential danger.

That's where I stand on this... I agree with you for the most part, but I am very comitted to helping our community police itself in order to avoid legal, medical, and other forms of damage BEFORE it becomes a statistic.

Hypothetically I "know" this guy is a sex offender? Or I "think" he "might" be? Has he been convicted? These things would all play into my thoughts and how I would handle it. Hypothetically speaking if I believed him to be dangerous in any way shape or form to children, I would tell the parents that I knew, what my opinion of him was and to be careful. Then they can do what they wish with the info...either take me seriously or brush it off as my opinion.

I definately wouldnt post or otherwise announce *publically* that he is an offender of any kind. That would be the place of the law to do so. In fact, in some states they do have a law about informing citizens if a past sex offender moves into the neighborhood.

(in reply to Calandra)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:52:57 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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deleted

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 6/3/2006 1:43:10 PM >

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:55:21 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

pinkee,

I don't want this to erupt into an argument... ESPECIALLY if the facts are confused in any way...

simple facts, a CM member posted in a thread yesterday about her blog... and she posts an invitation for people to view the blog on her profile as well (no privacy issues there). I checked it out and was floored, because on that blog, she'd coppied and pasted private emails, CM profiles WITH pictures, full email addresses that contained real names, IM id's, and horrible insults.

This blogging site is vanilla, not lifestyle. and I decided to ask what people thought about the ethics of such a site.

I feel that sharing information is bad, and marie does too... HOWEVER, I feel that protecting people who might be outed by contacting her local munches and organizations, is important. marie simply asked if MY SHARING information about the blogger wasn't just as bad as the blogger sharing info...

You simply heard the tail end of the conversation...

Please guys, we haven't bickered all day and some really great chat has been the result...

(in reply to pinkee)

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Post #: 231

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 12:57:03 PM

ModeratorEleven

Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline

This thread is getting locked down while our belevolent overlords look into the matter.

Thank you for your participation.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to Calandra)

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Post #: 232

RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 1:40:01 PM

ModeratorOne

Posts: 935
Status: offline

Just to clarify, it is a violation of Collarme.com's guidelines to post personal and/or critical information about other users on Collarme or Collarchat. It is also a violation of Collarme.com's guidelines to send out any information pertaining to blacklists or anything else that "outs" Collarme.com users.

Profile and journal entries that make references to such lists will be deleted. If any message is ever reported with these types of lists or links to blogs, groups, other sites or anywhere else where discussion of such may exist it may result in suspension of the users account.

While the *outing* of fakes might seem to be a good idea to some people at first glance, there is no legitimate way of knowing if something is true and posted with the best of intentions or posted with intentions of slander or spite. There have been many cases where people have posted malicious false information about other people simply to get back at them. How would you feel if someone posted false information about you?

We also ask that you please respect our guidelines when posting in this thread. Any posts that provide links or mention the name of such blogs will be deleted and the users will be placed on moderation. Also, this discussion seems to be heading quickly in a direction that will get this entire thread pulled.

Topics which are unacceptable regardless of circumstance include, but are not limited to - minors, bestiality, incest, necrophilia, snuff and criminal activities.

Thank you,
ModOne

_____________________________

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 4:15:29 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

she meant blog... a web based journal or diary... where others can read your innermost thoughts if you allow them to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee
What is a BOG?

thank you,

pinkee

IMO, a blog is just as private a setting as an email, and marieToo acted unethically in posting what she did. ~i now bow out of this.~

pinkee

Um, pinkee?
I'm not aware of marie posting any private material.... everything we've been discussing today was posted right here and discussed by all... and the person who originated the offensive blog has not responded to this thread all day...

I mentioned earlier in PUBLIC here that I contacted a few people in the person's home town community to warn them that she outs people... marie feels that I am using a double standard, which I AGREE, but feel that My reason is sufficient.

I know I can sleep easy tonight with my decisions... ~smiles~

I hope I cleared that up?

Calandra, i am totally confused about the specific facts and to damned lazy to read 11 pages to try and parse them out.

In my own defense for anyone who might give a crap, Pinky came into this discussion on the tail end of it, skimmed quickely over a few lines in a post I wrote and began throwing down a tantrum and false accusations of me posting someone's blog, emails, and some other mad rantings that she threw in for good measure.

Even after it was explained to her by the original poster that I did NOT in fact do any such thing, she still didn't quite catch on.

It blows my mind that someone who is admittedly "confused about the specific facts" and too damned lazy" to read through the post to "parse it out" would think that they are in a position to make statements of fact, judgements or accusations about any of the posters.

(in reply to pinkee)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 4:32:10 PM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
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When you post about your life on a website, you're accepting whatever may come from that choice. Nobody force or coerced you to do so. If it ends up costing you your privacy...you have nobody to blame but yourself.

This is why I won't post my pic here, I don't want everyone and anyone to be able to recognize me. There are some people I need to keep this from, and I can easily do so, so can anyone else.

I think it's ridiculous to blame anyone on the internet for "outing" anyone else on the internet. You outed yourself the minute you posted personal details that would let those who know you have 'clues'...or you outright gave every right to privacy you may have had away when you posted your pic. Be an adult and take responsibility, life requires that much.

Rant over

(in reply to angelface183)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 4:33:32 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

marie, I totally understand your passion about this... after the thread was locked, I went to pinkee in email and made sure that she'd misunderstood...

Really I think that some people simply don't know how to differentiate respectful debate from arguing. I respect your thoughts, and share them... I simply believe that there are always "exceptions" to any ethical position...

Thats one reason I love to discuss ethics in various settings... I think that everyone, old timer or newcomer can learn something. Maybe what you learn is a new way to look at things... then again maybe what you learn is that you had it right "for you" all along. ~smiles~

I'm not sure what I'll ultimately take from this discussion, there's so much to digest.

I do hope that because I chose to act differently than you would have, that you will not think too harshly of me. I enjoy discussions where you're talking part...

Kathryn

(in reply to marieToo)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 4:38:17 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL:
Do you think it is ethical to post email addresses, pictures, instant messenger ID's, and/or private correspondence to a popular vanilla website where "anyone" could run across it?

What makes a website 'vanilla', first off?
Secondly, if someone is doing something that others should be aware of {is NOT reading a profiel before emailing, or being rude and confrontational, or making threats}, then I think it is the responsibility of any responsible person to try to warn others; we have that responsibility.
It's not ethical to critize someone whom you don't know or have any personal firsthand knowledge of. Then again, I have had my fair share of those who do NOT read my profile and they get pissy when I don't respond the way they want.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Calandra)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 4:38:20 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

Thank you so much for stepping in with clear answers. apparently livejournal has similar views on this matter and I hope everything will be cleared up quickly.

I hafta admit, we've kinda been teasing Mod Eleven about threads about threads on subjects we can't talk about... ~wicked smile~ even so, Eleven has been awesome today in helping in this matter.

Some of us expect benji and certain others will go to collarme hell.... ~quickly stepping away from benji and his little group....

(in reply to ModeratorOne)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 4:39:08 PM

jezabelKH

Posts: 663
Joined: 5/21/2006
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This is wrong, unethical and down right rude. If people want vanilla people to know that is their choice not the members on collarme.com. Remember what goes on in vegas stays in vegas.

jezabel{KH}
just simply a slave
Property Of Master Ken

(in reply to Calandra)

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RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? - 6/3/2006 4:45:37 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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If, after reading the entire thread, you have questions about anything I've posted, I'll be happy to discuss it (not argue, discuss).

I hope you take to heart what a lot of people here are trying to say... There's an awful lot of good people to be found here, but it takes compassion and understanding... not everyone is at the same point as you - some are behind you, others are way ahead...

I truly do wish you well...

Peace,
Kathryn

(in reply to slaverosebeauty)

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