RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

badpaliden -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:34:39 AM)

Well hey  there  Calandra ! I will.  And to the subject that started this all off.. its no diffrent than a newspaper.. if you write to the editor  your gona get seen.... And as to the copy right  thing and the web.. I belive if you can prove it wasnt from  your  hand it was posted  them they  are frelled up the waszoo.... 



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:35:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
I believe that someone who cannot be trusted to keep confidences, and who is guilty of outing people herself SHOULD be reported to local lifestyle leaders. Imagine this girl going into a dungeon local to her and then outing people because she didn't like a scene they were doing????

Imagine someone doing that to YOU.

Local lifestyle leaders include people like me you know.  People who happen to have the time and energy to volunteer.  We're no cooler, we're no authorities when it comes to personal relationships.  Local lifestyle leaders are there to create a good scene for people to enjoy- NOT to police idiots and people who do things you don't like.  Frankly we've got enough political crap going on to not CARE about whatever private email crap you're involved in.

Now, in BESS, if someone makes you actively uncomfortable or creates an environment AT BESS EVENTS that makes BESS contributors feel unsafe, we will take action.

But if it's not going on at a BESS event, why should we care?  That's your own business.



gooddogbenji -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:35:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelface183

She was really ugly though; she looked like a testicle with feet and a head. 



Hey!  Mine look like that!

The feet are great little ticklers, 'cept I have to trim the claws once in a while.

Yours,


benji



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:37:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
So if someone is "in" and wants to remain so, they shouldn't tell anyone of their proclivities.  Of course, it is very lonely to do so, so most people kid themselves into believing that no one will find out.

Taggard

I agree, if someone puts something out there, they need to accept the possibility of the risks they are taking.

That doesn't mean it's right for someone to actually DO those things and make those possible risks into a reality.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:40:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
People who take a stand for their community and out others believe they are doing something ethical and right, and we can only disagree with them.  There is no standard morality or ethical code.

Taggard

Please tell me you're trying to make some general intellectual stand to the boards here and NOT trying to give ME a basic lesson in ethics?



kittinSol -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:42:39 AM)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargghhhh I've been slobbering over this thread like a woman deranged wondering whom on earth was responsible for outing (I call it slander but...) all those people...

This is a really serious thing, and I'm not making a joke out of it, but ARGH I am so dying to know! Gossip makes the world go around. I am SO ashamed.

*whaaaaaaaaaaps own wrist*

PS: if anybody wishes to divulge the secret out there please write in total confidence at....... *whispers it.

PPS: I didn't just write that! Did I?

PPPS: people who do those sort of things are unfortunate. The Web is a great place of exchange. Unfortunate morons will always take advantage of any medium that is available to them. Nothing can be done but accept that progress comes with a price, I guess?



TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:42:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Please tell me you're trying to make some general intellectual stand to the boards here and NOT trying to give ME a basic lesson in ethics?


I calls 'em as I sees 'em.

You can't say it is unethical to out someone without defining some standard code of ethics (and even beyond that the circumstances of such an outing). 

You did say that, so there...*wink*

Taggard





Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:44:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Imagine someone doing that to YOU.
Local lifestyle leaders include people like me you know.  People who happen to have the time and energy to volunteer.  We're no cooler, we're no authorities when it comes to personal relationships.  Local lifestyle leaders are there to create a good scene for people to enjoy- NOT to police idiots and people who do things you don't like.  Frankly we've got enough political crap going on to not CARE about whatever private email crap you're involved in.


If I received an email detailing someone who was actively outing people online, I'd possibly ban them from our events. Our events are quite private, and some of our people have a lot to lose if they are outed. I don't think I'd be acting responsibly if I allowed the person who posted the blog to circulate among our members freely. Sorry, but that's just me... 



gooddogbenji -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:46:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

If I received an email detailing someone who was actively outing people online, I'd possibly ban them from our events. Our events are quite private, and some of our people have a lot to lose if they are outed. I don't think I'd be acting responsibly if I allowed the person who posted the blog to circulate among our members freely. Sorry, but that's just me... 



So wait.  If, say.......  angel decided she didn't like me and sent you a message about it, and you verified that it was my pic on the profile and everything, you would ban me?   Based on that much evidence? 

That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Yours,


benji



juliaoceania -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:46:57 AM)

This person lists munches, local BDSM community, and those things as either hardlimits or dislikes, so I doubt she is welcomed there anyways.....



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:47:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
If I received an email detailing someone who was actively outing people online, I'd possibly ban them from our events. Our events are quite private, and some of our people have a lot to lose if they are outed. I don't think I'd be acting responsibly if I allowed the person who posted the blog to circulate among our members freely. Sorry, but that's just me... 

Then you're talking about a private event, contacting the hosts of that event among supposed friends. 

That's quite a different concept from "local lifestyle leaders."



juliaoceania -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:48:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

If I received an email detailing someone who was actively outing people online, I'd possibly ban them from our events. Our events are quite private, and some of our people have a lot to lose if they are outed. I don't think I'd be acting responsibly if I allowed the person who posted the blog to circulate among our members freely. Sorry, but that's just me... 



People have a right to include or disclude others from private groups based on gossip alone... it may not be right, but it is the way it is.. and that is just one more reason wy "outting" someone is not right

So wait.  If, say.......  angel decided she didn't like me and sent you a message about it, and you verified that it was my pic on the profile and everything, you would ban me?   Based on that much evidence? 

That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Yours,


benji


If it is a private group she can ban you for gossip. This is one more reason why internet outtings are unethical.



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:49:10 AM)

I have also enjoyed getting to know you and interact with you... ~smiles~




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:50:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty
You can't say it is unethical to out someone without defining some standard code of ethics (and even beyond that the circumstances of such an outing). 

I certainly can and just did. 

I also recognize other people's ability to say "Well it's not against my ethics so there" or to point out inconsistencies in my ethical system (I probably my own inconsistencies more than anyone else here).

But please don't try and give me basic lessons on ethics and ethical judgement, I might not flaunt it, but I did earn my BA in philosophy.  I had thought you of all people would respect and understand that.



kittinSol -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:51:51 AM)

I am salivating. And I was never one for soap operas. Not only has this person done something ugly and reprehensible, she remains in the dark!

*Thinks wicked things.*

Truthfully though I admire the group's restraint (no pun meant, I swear) at not revealing the person's handle name. All the more to you.

Respect.



gooddogbenji -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:52:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

People have a right to include or disclude others from private groups based on gossip alone... it may not be right, but it is the way it is.. and that is just one more reason wy "outting" someone is not right
 
I did not write this part. 

So wait.  If, say.......  angel decided she didn't like me and sent you a message about it, and you verified that it was my pic on the profile and everything, you would ban me?   Based on that much evidence? 

That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Yours,


benji


If it is a private group she can ban you for gossip. This is one more reason why internet outtings are unethical.


Yes, but we're still not sure if it really is this person.  Copying a profile is far too easy, and could well be used to frame someone.

Yours,


benji



MsVoyeringmama -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:54:59 AM)

quote:

TallDarkAndWitty
Why?
Why should people live their lives ashamed of who they are and what they do?

There is a lot of anger in the gay community that so many homosexuals are in the closet.  They feel that if everyone was "out" life would be much easier on them.  I am not so sure they are wrong.
<<  I so agree with this..

I would never personally out anyone, but I can understand the sentiment of those who feel that if more people were out, then the world would have to accept that this as a viable lifestyle choice and people wouldn't have to hide who they are from the job, family and friends.

And, the last time I looked, CollarMe wasn't a private website.  If you post anything on here, be prepared for people to find it.

Taggard

now just to prove that point- if you google me "voyeringmama"  it brings up 23/2 pages places i'm at or statements i said- a few (Mojo Date  ) of which i have no clue cause it's deffinately NOT me- the point is if they know your real name or know a nic-- you can be found and googled..
quote:

 Dustyn
Then again, I don't keep secrets, as long as someone asks me a direct question. 
<< again im out to all my kids and family and many friends.. doesnt mean i out ppl i know,when i see them in vanilla,



juliaoceania -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:55:18 AM)

I had a problem with the darn quote thingy....sorry about rewriting your post



gooddogbenji -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 8:57:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I had a problem with the darn quote thingy....sorry about rewriting your post



No worries.  I just wanted to highlight the fact that it wasn't me.  Although if I could write as well as you, I wouldn't have to play the idiot.  lol

Yours,


benji



Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 9:01:07 AM)

I host a small local group, private because we want it that way. if angel said she didn't like you, then no, I wouldn't make that stance, but if I saw evidence that someone was doing something that might cause harm (emotional or physical) to members, then yes, absolutely, I feel that's the right course.
 
We had someone a few years back who in a very short period of time broke his sub's sternum, gave her a second degree burn, and several other "mishaps" because he would NOT slow down and gain any skill in activities he was interested in trying. We basically "shut him out" from all the local happenings... recently he's come back and is beginning to show signs of going slow and taking safety seriously. (The sub actually stopped subbing to him even though they remained roommates for a time)
 
Sometimes we have to police our community... The presence of alcohol at gatherings where play was allowed was a huge debate... we polled the group and it was decided that alcohol would NOT be allowed. Our e-group has announcements from all over augusta, atlanta, and everywhere in between... Anyone who wishes to post an announcement knows that we don't allow advertising of events that combine play and alcohol. One or the other, but not both.
 
Maybe thats too restrictive for some, but it works for us, and I'd rather know about those in our midst, rather than find out after all our license plate numbers are turned in to the police after a play party.



Page: <<   < prev  6 7 [8] 9 10   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125