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LoreBook -> RE: The Liberal Platform (3/11/2012 10:21:48 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I didn't write it but, I did weed out some of the ridiculous stuff and change a few references (for chronology's sake)
1) Drug addiction is a disease that should be treated with compassion and understanding unless the addict is a Conservative talk show host.
2) Women shouldn't be referred to as "twat", "cunt" or "slut" unless she's not a liberal.
3) The United States should be subservient to the United Nations. Our highest authority is not God and the U.S. Constitution, but a collective of tin-pot dictators (and their appeasers) and the U.N. charter.
4) Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unconstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.
5) Calls for increased security after a terrorist attack are “political opportunism,” but calls for more gun control after a criminal’s spree killing is “a logical solution.”
6) Disarming innocent, law-abiding citizens helps protect them from evil, lawless, terrorists and other thugs.
7) Slowly killing an unborn innocent by tearing it apart limb from limb is good but quickly killing terrorists, convicted murderers and rapists is BAD.
8) Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools in the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn’t Christianity.
9) Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.
10) The Patriot Act is a horrific compromise of Constitutional rights, but anti-Second Amendment laws and Franklin Roosevelt’s Presidential Order 9066 must be regarded “reasonable precautions.”
11) Interning Americans and legal immigrants to make sure that they don't give aid and comfort to the enemy is a good thing (FDR) but interning terrorists and terrorist allies (including those with expired visas) so they can't give aid and comfort to the enemy is a bad thing (Bush-Gitmo).
12) Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.
13) John Lott’s research on how gun ownership reduces crime is "junk science", but Michael Bellesiles is still an authority on why gun control is good (even though he was forced to resign from Emory due to research misconduct over his book “Arming America”).
14) Bush’s toppling the Saddam regime was a “diversion,” but Clinton’s lobbing a couple of cruise missiles at Iraq in the thick of the Lewinsky sex scandal was “sending a message.”
15) A president who lies under oath is okay, but a president who references sixteen words from an ally's intelligence report should be dragged through the streets naked.
16) “The People” in the First Amendment means The People. “The People” in the Fourth Amendment means The People. “The People” in the Ninth Amendment means The People. “The People” in the Tenth Amendment means The People but “The People” in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).
17) You support a woman’s “right to choose” to kill her unborn child, but don’t believe that same woman is competent enough to home school or decide to privately school the children she bears.
18) Everyone must unquestioningly support a junior senator with negligible political experience for president. If you don’t, it’s because you’re a racist.
19) All cultures must be treated as equal. This is why we have to make excuses for Muslims when they riot, rape and slaughter, but vilify Christians when they organize letter-writing campaigns or seek remedy through the courts.
20) Being against illegal immigration is racist; ignoring the fact that illegal isn’t a race.
21) Congress must create a “Fairness Doctrine” to counter the commercial success of conservative talk radio and the resounding failure of Air America. (Never mind that we already have a government-subsidized liberal mouthpiece called National Public Radio.)
22) Everyone has the right to disagree, but only if they don’t disagree with us.
23) if you possess a "Y" chromosome, your intent is to subjugate women (unless you're a liberal).
Peace and comfort,
Michael
Garbage.
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