littlesarbonn
Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ArtimisBlack
Just out of curiosity....it seems that in most stalking incidents being talked about here it is a male doing the stalking. Has anyone here ever been stalked by a female? I'm pretty sure it does happen, I just want to know if any here have experienced it or know someone who has and what happened. Are there different tactics used? Is the threat not perceived as being as great? etc.....
I guess I wouldn't really consider it stalking, but my very last relationship was with a woman from Hong Kong who spoke fluent English (with a bit of hesitation here and there) who decided one night (literally overnight) she no longer loved me and now hated me. She was kind of like that throughout our entire relationship. But this time she decided she hated me forever. But, and this is the important but, she didn't want to end the relationship. She figured she invested this much time in it, so considering she knew I was all submissive and all that (yes, it was a shared part of our relationship that kind of grew once she discovered all about me during an Internet search while we were dating vanilla style), she was not going to allow the relationship to end.
It was like we were "together" but not dating. So, finally, I realized we needed to break up. Well, she would come over constantly, and whenever I brought up the subject, she suddenly forgot the ability to speak English, would excuse herself for the evening and run off home. Then she'd return the next day as if nothing had happened but continuing to be as emotionally abusive as she had decided to become.
It didn't matter whether I broke up with her bluntly, slyly, on paper, with an act of Congress involving a declaration of war, or whatever. She used tactics I've never imagined before to maintain something she gave up on MONTHS ago.
All of my friends were generally submissive men and women, and when I told them my story, they seemed to treat it as one of those fantasies that go: "Man, I sure wish I could meet a woman like that" where they were listening for the fantasy tidbits, not the destructive behavior.
After our relationship officially ended (at least I think it did), she started contacting me with itemized lists of how much time she put into the relationship, and then sent me a bill. I'm not kidding. A bill. I was to pay it in full, using a cashier's check, because for some reason she wouldn't accept a personal check from me. She kept writing me, upping the amount, and then treating me to long, bizarre diatribes about how men were destroying the world, and that somehow I was the leader of the male species who was teaching everyone to be just as bad as me. While this is somewhat true, and I am the leader of all men, I don't exactly know how she found out about this. 
Anyway, I finally ended the relationship and contact by moving to Michigan from California. I've been gone for 7 years, and after changing email addresses and no forwarding addresses, she stopped contacting me.
I told a female friend this story a few months ago, and she responded with "how sweet" and actually sort of meant it. Anyway, don't know if we'd consider that female stalking but it was certainly interesting.
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RE: How do you define stalking? - 
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