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LafayetteLady -> RE: Marriage, Christianity and BDSM Conflicts (3/22/2012 4:34:40 PM)
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ORIGINAL: nashsub4fun
WOW! Seemed like I fired up quite a few people. I appreciate all of your comments and have a few of my own as a general reply.
1. I have tried numerous times in the past 8-10 years to get him to see what his weight is doing to himself, his health, our daughter, me, his parents, our marriage, and his career. His parents, daughter, doctor, and family therapist have also tried. He is not interested in making a change nor finding the root of the problem. As one person commented, "how many times do I beat my had against a wall"?
So let me get this straight....you both got fat together, but because he hasn't tried to lose weight and you did, you have an issue with it. By the way, at 5'3" and 220 pounds, even with your 67 pound loss, you are still considered morbidly obese.
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2. I do not want a divorce, not because of religious reasons, but because I do not want to hurt his parents (who are elderly and we share their care), we would both lose financially, and the guilt of knowing he is living alone and getting worse would eat at me.
You started out mentioning Christianity. I guess you bailed on that reason because everyone mentioned how cheating on your husband blows your religious issue out the window.
Yes, in a divorce, everyone loses financially, but selfishly staying for the money makes you a prize and a half.
You wish for him to die soon, but would feel "guilty" knowing he was living alone and getting worse? You certainly have no ethical or moral priorites, so lay off the bullshit lines.
You are a complete idiot to think that you aren't already hurting his parents.
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3. He checked out long a ago. One of you commented that if he checked out, he is not upholding the vows he spoke 12 years ago. Being a good provider is more than providing financially for the moment. It is providing for our future and providing emotionally now. One of you gave the example of saving me from a burger. If he cannot get off the couch without a struggle, how can he protect me physically from an intruder? He struggles to bend over and pick something up off the floor and put on his shoes.
So now you are concerned that he can't protect you from someone breaking into your house? Because you are sure whoever broke in wants to rape your obese ass? While some often mentioned how his weight is of his own making, the fact is that you come up with every superficial reason why what you are doing is appropriate, because if he were a cripple he could protect you from an intruder either.
Coming up with ways he has broken his "vows" doesn't make it okay for you to break yours. You ARE familiar with the concept of "two wrongs don't make a right?" Incidentally, protecting you is NOT part of marriage vows, and neither is providing for you. "Love, honor, and cherish." While he may not be doing that, neither are you.
4. This has nothing to do with BDSM and more to do with taking care of my needs.
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5. He bathes daily so personal hygiene is attended to. The problem is but the end of the day, as sweat has collected between the many folds of skins the odor is so foul I can smell him after he leaves a room.
So if he worked as a laborer or a garbage man, he would be smelly as well. I'm betting that at 220 pounds, the smell between your "folds of skin" aren't so pleasant either. Get a grip.
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6. Because he check out, I do not feel the quilt many of you seem to think I should feel. I am NOT selfishly throwing a tantrum like a two year old not getting her way. I am a woman who is tired of giving everyone else around her what they want and sacrificing her own needs. It's time I threw myself in that mix.
You are worse than a two year old throwing a temper tantrum, but you are just as selfish. You have selfishly decided that your needs are a priority and to hell with anyone who doesn't want to meet them. Your "master" has gotten himself quite a prize.
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7. The one I am having a affair with is also married and in a similar situation. Neither of us are interested in changing the other's living situation and are content with the way things are.
So you and your "master" are both deceitful, two timing jerks. Even if you both did get divorced, neither of you is trustworthy enough to not cheat on each other when the going got rough in that relationship. That is, of course, if your "master" is even faithful to you. I'm sure you have heard, "once a cheater, always a cheater."
The only comforting thought about this whole thing is that you both are scummy skanks and not involving good, decent people. Cheating isn't a religious issue, it is a moral and ethical one. Neither of you have morals or ethics, so you are two peas in a pod.
So while you could support yourself without him, it is much better to hang around to collect spousal benefits upon his death. You think it is perfectly ok to throw morals and ethics out the window for your own sexual satisfaction. And to top it off, you have the audacity to complain about HIS weight when you yourself are morbidly obese.
All I can say is that I hope your husband finds out what a piece of scum you are and divorces you and takes you for everything you have materially, because it is quite obvious, there is nothing about you personally worth having.
ETA: You are a disgusting human being.
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