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PeonForHer -> RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. (3/29/2012 4:58:03 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
Conversations with this guy never go anywhere. He's not here to learn anything. He's here to argue. He'll stick to his original points, regardless of what anyone says. He never supports his points with any facts, and everything he says gets shot down by more informed posters. Yet he continues to push his unsupportable agenda, despite all of the evidence that contradicts his original assertions.
Symptoms of someone who really does have a compulsion, just as the OP says he does, ironically.
OP: I had my own kind of compulsion, or obsession, back in my early twenties. I started seeing a therapist. I began to notice that my therapist would always move away from the subject of my obsession wherever he could. I pulled him up on it. He explained his tactic thus:
"With an obsession, it's as though there are two men inside your head, throwing a rock backwards and forwards at each other. One man is obsessed with the issue, the other one hates him for being obsessed. But neither man ever wins, because just as one man gets stronger, so does the other. If I were to join in with rock-throwing argument, *on either side*, I'd only be helping make you more obsessed".
Anyway, the solution is not to try to tackle an obsession - or certain obsessions, anyway - head-on. The thing to do is beef up other areas of your life - give them more energy, make them better and happier. That takes energy away from the rock-throwing contest. You could end up having BDSM fade away from your life, or you could end up enjoying it in a healthy way. Or some mixture of both. Either way, though, it won't matter much to you anymore.
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