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Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 6:56:45 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		Why is there so little out there?

Surely if bdsm is to be accepted, people who want to get out of the scene should be treated with as much respect.

After all there is help for sex addiction, alcohol, drug addiction, why so liitle for bdsm?

What do people think?
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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 6:58:23 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Because BDSM isn't a mental illness or addiction.

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 6:58:59 PM   
VanessaChaland


Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		I think spending time on a BDSM site and asking how to "recover" from BDSM is sort of counterproductive. :)

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 6:59:03 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		It is for some people

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:00:17 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Because BDSM isn't a mental illness or addiction.


:nods: This^

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:00:20 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

I think spending time on a BDSM site and asking how to "recover" from BDSM is sort of counterproductive. :)





quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

I think spending time on a BDSM site and asking how to "recover" from BDSM is sort of counterproductive. :)


Why do you think there isn't help though?

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:02:55 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

Why is there so little out there?

Surely if bdsm is to be accepted, people who want to get out of the scene should be treated with as much respect.

After all there is help for sex addiction, alcohol, drug addiction, why so liitle for bdsm?

What do people think?

What are you addicted to? Be specific.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:03:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If for you, it is unhealthy, then you need to go see a therapist to discover why.

I doubt you're out getting topped ten times a week. Or are you spending all your money on pro sessions and living out of your car?

If it's porn addiction, then that probably falls into sex addiction.

I could offer more help if I knew exactly what the problem is. Obsessive thinking? Porn? Losing jobs because you're wanking all the time?


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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:03:52 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

It is for some people


That's like saying that is the fault of alcohol that some people get addicted. You listed BDSM as the issue, not the fixation. If you have a fixation the issue isn't BDSM, it's an underlying issue that is causing the fixation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:07:16 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If for you, it is unhealthy, then you need to go see a therapist to discover why.

I doubt you're out getting topped ten times a week. Or are you spending all your money on pro sessions and living out of your car?

If it's porn addiction, then that probably falls into sex addiction.

I could offer more help if I knew exactly what the problem is. Obsessive thinking? Porn? Losing jobs because you're wanking all the time?




It's fine, I have found good help and i feel on the road to recovery but it was so difficult to find.

For example at first I tried kink friendly therapists and they were almost offended that I was uncomfortable with feeling this way and me saying that bdsm messed me up was almost offensive to them, I felt they had an agenda, I guess I was addicted to the adrenaline bdsm gave me and the way it made me switch off, not saying everyone does it for these reason, but I'm also not saying I'm the only one who does it for these reasons.

It's like I said though, if i was using alcohol or drugs or vanilla porn to feel that way the help would be there, with bdsm it's so hard.

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:08:49 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleuk12

It is for some people


That's like saying that is the fault of alcohol that some people get addicted. You listed BDSM as the issue, not the fixation. If you have a fixation the issue isn't BDSM, it's an underlying issue that is causing the fixation.


If someone used alcohol to numb themselves there's help though, if someone uses bdsm for that purpose it's very very difficult to get help, then if you do, you never know what kind of views the therapist has so it is difficult.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:14:23 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You have been asked several times to be more accurate about the problem since we can't offer help otherwise. Instead you choose not to ask for help but to go off on tangential arguments. Why?

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:14:51 PM   
Elric2323


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline 		maybe you should be a bit more precise in what you mean. do you mean that you are in the scene and want to get out of it but certain members of that scene are not letting you?

or do you mean that your urges are so overpowering that you spend too much time pursuing them to the exclusion of things that need to be done to have a healthy life?

since the latter is the more likely case i will try to give my 2 cents on that.
this would sound to me like an obsession akin to video game addiction or similar. admitting to having a problem is the first step, actively working on resolving that problem is the second, much harder step and i understand your desire to find a quick, proven solution to it. but it may not be out there, so you may have to go through the channels of self imposed abstinence, therapy and shift of focus to get over it.
i would start with trying vanilla and who knows, it might turn into a compromise instead of an outright exorcism.

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:17:27 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		I have to ask how many therapists you felt treated you poorly. I can not imagine any real professionals that deals with sexually obsevssive issues acting in the manner you say they did. I will believe you that it happened though and question that perhaps you did not find people that were well trained in their practice. Or that maybe you were not clear enough with them as to what your real issues are.

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We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:22:11 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		I think they treated me to the best of their ability, but it's like a lot of them have an agenda.

For me if you have bdsm desires you have 3 options

1 surpress it
2 express it
3 cure it

Now obv I wanted number 3 but yet so many people got offended by that, but yet it was causing me so much distress, would a drug addict have got treated that way I don't think so.

Fr example I was looking online tonight and came across things like these but they were very hard to find, it does give me hope though....







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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:26:13 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		What sort of professional did you seek out? Did you look for one used to dealing with people that are trying to deal with as you said "expressing it" or did you seek out a professional that is used to dealing with obsessive issues?



_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:27:54 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		http://recoverynation.com/bulletinboard/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=17958


http://xfetish.blogspot.co.uk/.



http://www.emmajames.net/fetish-addiction/4531656321


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RJLSFVAk2g&feature=youtube_gdata_player




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RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:28:54 PM   
submaleuk12


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		For example that's the sort of stuff I needed.

Bear in mind many people come on here very confused, including myself at the age of 16, help like this should be offered in my opinion.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:39:20 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Do you mean help should be offered in general or on this web site. It already is in generally offered, you just didn't know how to find it. As for the web site they can not be asked to play caregiver for every single person that might find their site.

*edit to add* If you are trying to find a "cure" for what you believe is wrong with you why are you offering to give pictures of yourself to people on a bdsm website?

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 3/20/2012 7:44:17 PM >

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Help to recover from bdsm.. - 3/20/2012 7:39:57 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		I'm an alcoholic. I stay out of bars.

You're a BDSM addict? Perhaps you should stay off the BDSM websites,

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Profile   Post #: 20
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