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RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 5:45:18 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

Passive aggressive attitudes seem to always be in fashion.
Then there are also the self appointed know-it-alls, who know little but make up for it in volume.

Ok, so now we know why you post alot, but the question was about subs.

I think the ones who said "Just because I'm submissive to one doesn't mean I'm submissive to all" or similar and the fact that there are so many more females on here. I personally haven't noticed it, but I really haven't looked.

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Post #: 21

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 5:56:04 AM

VanessaChaland

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Yea, I've posted a couple hundred messages in 5 years. Compared to you that is "a lot". :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanessaChaland

Passive aggressive attitudes seem to always be in fashion.
Then there are also the self appointed know-it-alls, who know little but make up for it in volume.

Ok, so now we know why you post alot, but the question was about subs.

I think the ones who said "Just because I'm submissive to one doesn't mean I'm submissive to all" or similar and the fact that there are so many more females on here. I personally haven't noticed it, but I really haven't looked.

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Post #: 22

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 5:57:44 AM

thishereboi

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Actually I was thinking more about the passive aggressive part but thanks for playing.

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Post #: 23

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 10:33:04 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
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I absolutely LOVE when you post! Your wittiness is awesome. lol

Your signature came to mind when I read this page's thread.

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Post #: 24

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 3:40:59 PM

VideoAdminGamma

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Fast reply

Please comment on the Original post or slight thread drift, and not on each other.

Thank you for being a part of CollarMe,
VideoAdminGamma

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Post #: 25

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 4:17:12 PM

LoreBook

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/22/2012
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The question is basically "Why are submissives so bitchy?"

Personally I think its because they have to put up with us D-types, and we're really not an easy group to live with.

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Post #: 26

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 4:49:06 PM

LunaM

Posts: 183
Joined: 3/3/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

And "submissive" to your own dom/master doesn't mean submissive or shy or afraid to speak your mind to/with anyone else in the world. One has zero to do with the other.......luci

I second this as well.
(or third or fourth as the case may be)

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Post #: 27

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/22/2012 5:49:26 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Nope.

Firstly, I'm submissive to one and one only. To everyone else I might as well be vanilla or dominant.

Secondly, I'm not allowed to submit to anyone else, especially not to somebody I don't know except for the fact that they give themselves the title of dominant.

Thirdly, the fact that I have a brain and use it has no bearing on how I relate to my partner.

Fourthly, what you consider aggressive and not subly is what a lot of the rest of us consider honest and even blunt. Telling someone who is engaging in huge amounts of self denial that she should accept sending naked pics to some guy she knows nothing about is a good thing would be a lie, which I don't do. Moreover although it would save her a little bit of hurt today, it helps set her up for a lot of hurt tomorrow when his wife finds out.

If someone is honest and says they only want to rant and get sympathy, we're mostly willing to listen and say 'there, there'. But when someone claims to want honest advice, they ought to be willing to get it. I don't mind read, especially I don't mind read over a computer. So I take people at their word. They ask for advice, they get it. If they are lying to themselves and don't want advice, then they shouldn't ask for it.

Comparison. You go to the doctor for a nagging chest cough. Do you want him to be honest and say he needs an xray because he suspects lung cancer or do you want him to assure you it isn't anything and let you continue on your way not worrying?

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Post #: 28

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/23/2012 12:48:51 AM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline

Uhm, ahem, we are not 'playing'.

It really is that simple.

In 'real life', I am not at all submissive.

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Post #: 29

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/23/2012 1:01:51 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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FR

Me personally have built up a self defense mechanism to cope with my strong desire and need to please others...

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Post #: 30

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/23/2012 9:19:39 AM

ProlificNeeds

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Joined: 5/19/2007
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FR~
I don't equate 'submissive' with passive. I don't think one's relationship orientation has anything to do with how passive, or assertive they can be.

I do however think lack of manners and poor attitudes is often because the persons parents didn't bring out the wooden spoon or belt enough!

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

Post #: 31

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/23/2012 10:25:47 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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Oh goodness you just sent me back to childhood, lol. I got the worst spanking of My life when I was a kid with a wooden spoon! LOL
But you're right about that.

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Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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Post #: 32

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/24/2012 12:09:03 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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quote:

Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful?

I think its a CMMB pattern, and I have not particularly noticed subs as "more aggressive posters." Some of my favorite posters were maledoms: simplymichael, LordandMaster, and Domiguy. Great reads, but I don't want to have sex with them.

(in reply to AlwaysLisa)

Post #: 33

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/24/2012 2:00:33 PM

slaverachel2Him

Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa

I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes.

In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought. Just a bit of one.

Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner?

Hear me out, please. I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality. ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style!

Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful?

Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night.

"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)

Believe it or not this is a VERY common question in people's minds.

i think some people are compartmentalized, not everyone is 24/7 therefore not able to or whatever to be respectful to others who piss them off. IF not 24/7 there is not a lot of desire to have a mindset that is not so much "slavey or subbie", not submissive to everyone they meet, but respectful, polite and deferring. This is NOT passive which is actually a problematic behavior.

Everyone has a little bit of ability to get aggressive- though assertive is better as it doesn't imply "power over" and is sill respectful. i do think some people DO have cognitive dissonance. There is perhaps a discomfort in being submissive and fear of being vulnerable to the wrong person, being viewed as weak, or easily taken advantage of. Some i DO believe are REALLY not so submissive and will eventually move on. My friends and i often mull this one over-especially after seeing particularly vicious attacks on newbies or Masters and Doms.
i know of some people who have had reputations for attacking and then seeing their lives you can see they are venting, or in psychic pain over something and taking it out on someone less likely to strike ack.

< Message edited by slaverachel2Him -- 3/24/2012 2:02:32 PM >

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Post #: 34

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/24/2012 3:53:25 PM

slaverachel2Him

Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2011
Status: offline

Some people do confuse respect and politeness as submission or passivity, which it is not.

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Master Richard's slave rachel

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Post #: 35

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/24/2012 6:14:14 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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When it comes to posting on the message board... I feel like a tired animal next to the watering hole. I'm rather burned out from the repetition of the same topics.

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Post #: 36

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/24/2012 7:21:52 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverachel2Him
i think some people are compartmentalized, not everyone is 24/7 therefore not able to or whatever to be respectful to others who piss them off.

Rachel, I'm confused. You seem to be saying that if you're in a 24/7 relationship with one person as a sub/slave/property that therefore you must be a sub/slave/etc to everyone else in the world.

If so, allow me to clear up that misconception. My relationship with him has nothing to do with my 30 second relationship with the op when I responded.

And again, you seem to feel that not telling the truth when you disagree is the only way to be respectful whereas most of us feel it shows more respect to someone to be honest in an attempt to help them avoid worse in the future.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 37

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/24/2012 11:17:42 PM

Winterapple

Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline

FR
I haven't noticed any notable amount
of lashing out from submissives or anyone
else. Strong opinions and snark sure but
not just from one slice of the population.
I think more than anything some people
(I don't mean you, Lisa) have stereotypes
about how submissives especially female
ones are suppose to be and how they are
suppose to behave.
A lot of the grousing seems to come
from people who come to the boards
from the chatrooms. They don't understand
they are two entirely different kettle
of fish.
A message board is about the free exchange
of ideas and opinions. Roleplay and
protocol would kill the forums.
But some seem to expect submissives
to do the girl of boy humbly asks
permission to offer his or hers worthless
opinion before their superiors thing.
And of course a female submissive who
disagrees with a male Dom is obviously
a poser.
And as for this remember how you identify
on your profile stuff ie remember your
place, people can identify however they
choose to identify and are equally free
to interpret that role and identity as
they choose. It's a big world and it's
different strokes for different folks.
Some doms want submissives who are
only submissive to them. Seeing their
submissive genuflect to every other
stranger on the Internet isn't a turn on
for them.
I don't know any mouse in the corner
so passive she can't tie her own shoes
submissives. I know competent women
who have jobs, raise families, have
opinions and interests. They are submissive
to their doms and may engage in activities
where protocols are observed but they
aren't submissive to the world. They are
submissive to they choose to be submissive
to.
Women on the boards may in general
post more than men. But there's no
shortage of male posts here. Male
posters usually chime in on every thread
that doesn't involve questions about
vagina maintenance and even then.
A woman can make the same statement
a man does but hers will often be judged
as sharper in tone. Online postings can
sound more aggressive than they would
in a face to face exchange. But I don't
think that should keep submissives from
posting their opinions or that we're obligated
to put a I don't mean that in a bad way
disclaimer on every post.
Submissives are people and come in
all variaties.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 38

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/25/2012 9:32:43 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds
I do however think lack of manners and poor attitudes is often because the persons parents didn't bring out the wooden spoon or belt enough!

Funny about that, I find people who were abused as children to have worse attitudes and manners.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 39

RE: More late night pondering's..... - 3/26/2012 1:30:32 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

My thoughts on all this, is that some people are bored and love to engage in mental S&M when the opportunity presents itself. Some people starting threads are simply fun targets, compared to others.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

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Post #: 40

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