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RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 1:44:33 PM

WolfinShadow

Posts: 27
Joined: 11/13/2005
From: twin cities Minnesota
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

i have been told, and believe, that a truely Dominant Man has self-control, particularly over negative emotions.

Is this true? Would this be the case across the board, or just in the context of a D/s or M/s relationship?

What about lapses -- loss of control? Does it stem from "Everyone makes mistakes" or it is a sign of lack of true Dominance?

Thank You in advance for Your guidance on the matter.

pinkee

Well now I firmly believe that to master others you must first master yourself , But as many have mentioned here we are all still Human and Humans make mistakes . Its not the mistake that counts but how you handle the aftermath of the mistake.

I Find that Anger still creeps in once and awhile as does jealousy and other negative emotions , I dont want to cut myself off from my emotional life so "s elf control" to me does not mean I do not Show those emotions , But I do seek to control my Interaction with others while in such states . Hell I even cry once and awhile , Mostly at movies LOL but sometimes Life overwhelms me like anyone else . At thse moments I find Meditation and self realization helps A lot.

I also Know that I am Falible , And in the past Have fought with addiction problems as well as depression. What Helped me the most was a Process called " health Realization " because it reaches inward for strenth and Not to an Outside sourse Like AA does .

All and all I live by the ideal that it is not attaining perfection that is the goal , Perfection is impossible to attain , It is the seeking that makes My journey worthwhile , besides if feel I have attained Perfection , Ultimate knowlage < Like I know everything> Ultimate control , what is there left to strive for?

_____________________________

Wolf
Headmaster Shadow academy
Minnesotas first and only BDSM school

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 21

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 1:48:55 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

i have been told, and believe, that a truely Dominant Man has self-control, particularly over negative emotions.

Is this true? Would this be the case across the board, or just in the context of a D/s or M/s relationship?

What about lapses -- loss of control? Does it stem from "Everyone makes mistakes" or it is a sign of lack of true Dominance?

Thank You in advance for Your guidance on the matter.

pinkee

People who are passionate tend to be passionate about many things. Passion can be light and easy to deal with or it can be very heavy and difficult. Some people in their passion can behave in ways that others outside of their situation may feel is out-of-control. It may or may not be. But that does not lessen their dominance. It just shows an area of very deep passion.

I would trust a Dom/me, I know well, who is being very passionate, whether that passion is light or heavy, simply because I have learned that that Dom/me is worthy of trust.

To say that someone does not deserve trust simply for being passionate seems problematic. If you appreciate their lighter passions then the balance is an acceptance of their heavier passions. If someone is trusted, then their passion can be trusted until they prove that they are not trustworthy.

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 22

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:09:22 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

It was only after I attained the 9th level of dominate that I gained complete mastery of all emotions. I was then granted the "Ears of Spock" as I had gained complete control over myself and all desires, lusts, and fears. I am now a true dominate...

But before I got to that shit, oh boy I did all kinds a shit. I attacked people on the boards who pissed me off, I roared at idiots who did things I didn't like, I growled at children, even stole their candy. I took women's hearts and crushed them like eggshells. In general I acted like one of the many people here we call "others"...

However, since so many are perfect here, that is what must explain the vast preponderance of posts not about how to fix things that are broken, or "is this wrong" but are instead almost exclusively about how to make the nearly perfect absolutely perfect.

Oh the joy to be in total self control...

I'm curious, are you saying those who claim to retain self control also claim to be perfect?

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 23

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:10:00 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

It was only after I attained the 9th level of dominate that I gained complete mastery of all emotions. I was then granted the "Ears of Spock" as I had gained complete control over myself and all desires, lusts, and fears. I am now a true dominate...

But before I got to that shit, oh boy I did all kinds a shit. I attacked people on the boards who pissed me off, I roared at idiots who did things I didn't like, I growled at children, even stole their candy. I took women's hearts and crushed them like eggshells. In general I acted like one of the many people here we call "others"...

However, since so many are perfect here, that is what must explain the vast preponderance of posts not about how to fix things that are broken, or "is this wrong" but are instead almost exclusively about how to make the nearly perfect absolutely perfect.

Oh the joy to be in total self control...

......... and here's Crappy trying to convice her how "big" it is...........

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 24

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:11:04 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

But as many have mentioned here we are all still Human and Humans make mistakes . Its not the mistake that counts but how you handle the aftermath of the mistake.

I am sorry, but I HAVE TO ASK THIS. Why is allowing basic human nature, in the form of emotion, a mistake?
Everyone loses a bit of control at times. It is NOT a MISTAKE. It is NORMAL.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to WolfinShadow)

Post #: 25

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:16:00 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Hehe pinkie, maybe if you beg nicely he will return it for you?

I don't know, I sure am not perfection of demeanor or well... anything else for that matter, but I am usually quite placid. I learned very early on in my life how to control 'outbursts'. That being said... I am still capable of the occasional melt down, and I do not think that is a totally bad thing. Emotions are a natural product of who we are, and sometime, they flare up harder than we can totally control.

I would not personally hold it against a Master for getting really pissed about something, especially if his efforts and direction have been systematically eroded. Everyone is capable of getting really pissed off, and I do not think that holding that in, all the time, is the only 'good' way to deal with things. Sometimes, that can actually be pretty destructive.

I would say, a serial pattern of loss of control is a sure indication of a more serious problem than that which the blow up is over. And that should be looked into.

Occasional blow ups are par for the course with the human animal who has not turned off his emotions.

(in reply to WolfinShadow)

Post #: 26

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:17:12 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Oops! Yeah! I agree with the pretty one above me! lol

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 27

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:21:52 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

After careful consideration CrappyDom, I have decided to bestow the 10th level upon you and allow you to shave your eyebrows in the traditional Vulcan manner.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 28

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:23:39 PM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Hehe pinkie, maybe if you beg nicely he will return it for you?

I don't know, I sure am not perfection of demeanor or well... anything else for that matter, but I am usually quite placid. I learned very early on in my life how to control 'outbursts'. That being said... I am still capable of the occasional melt down, and I do not think that is a totally bad thing. Emotions are a natural product of who we are, and sometime, they flare up harder than we can totally control.

I would not personally hold it against a Master for getting really pissed about something, especially if his efforts and direction have been systematically eroded. Everyone is capable of getting really pissed off, and I do not think that holding that in, all the time, is the only 'good' way to deal with things. Sometimes, that can actually be pretty destructive.

I would say, a serial pattern of loss of control is a sure indication of a more serious problem than that which the blow up is over. And that should be looked into.

Occasional blow ups are par for the course with the human animal who has not turned off his emotions.

lmao @ puella's "Beg Him nicely".

Thankies, E/everyone; my question was sincere and i appreciate the edification.

pinkie

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 29

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 2:33:51 PM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

It was only after I attained the 9th level of dominate that I gained complete mastery of all emotions. I was then granted the "Ears of Spock" as I had gained complete control over myself and all desires, lusts, and fears. I am now a true dominate...

But before I got to that shit, oh boy I did all kinds a shit. I attacked people on the boards who pissed me off, I roared at idiots who did things I didn't like, I growled at children, even stole their candy. I took women's hearts and crushed them like eggshells. In general I acted like one of the many people here we call "others"...

However, since so many are perfect here, that is what must explain the vast preponderance of posts not about how to fix things that are broken, or "is this wrong" but are instead almost exclusively about how to make the nearly perfect absolutely perfect.

Oh the joy to be in total self control.../quote]

ROFLMAO

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 30

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 3:12:03 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Oops! Yeah! I agree with the pretty one above me! lol

Aww, why shucks. Thank you Ma'am

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 31

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 3:55:01 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkee

truely Dominant Man

A "true Dominant" and a "true slave submissive" are fallicies. What's "true" to me, may not be "true" to you.

quote:

has self-control, particularly over negative emotions.

No human has complete control over all of their emotions. It's about how he deals with them, not whether he can repress them.

quote:

What about lapses -- loss of control? Does it stem from "Everyone makes mistakes" or it is a sign of lack of true Dominance?

Every human makes mistakes. It's more about WHY those mistakes happened. Would you believe someone that said they had never made amistake?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to pinkee)

Post #: 32

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 4:27:02 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

It was only after I attained the 9th level of dominate that I gained complete mastery of all emotions. I was then granted the "Ears of Spock" as I had gained complete control over myself and all desires, lusts, and fears. I am now a true dominate...

But before I got to that shit, oh boy I did all kinds a shit. I attacked people on the boards who pissed me off, I roared at idiots who did things I didn't like, I growled at children, even stole their candy. I took women's hearts and crushed them like eggshells. In general I acted like one of the many people here we call "others"...

However, since so many are perfect here, that is what must explain the vast preponderance of posts not about how to fix things that are broken, or "is this wrong" but are instead almost exclusively about how to make the nearly perfect absolutely perfect.

Oh the joy to be in total self control...

Laughing...thank you.
As a Dom, I am perfect; I always know what she needs; I am never upset by any misunderstanding or miscommunication, I always act rationally and beyond reproach...I lack all attachment and expectations upon what is desired, in fact I have let go of all desire. I am a light being of awareness. I am perfect, spiritually, emotionally, personally...I have cut through all threads of maya and I am one with all.
Jesus ain't got shit on me...

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 33

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 5:20:16 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

At some point even the strongest may slip. The question is how often is a slip acceptable.

The question in my mind is what that person does when they slip, not how often they slip.

A person who gets angry and counts to 10 is not really a big deal, a person who gets angry and shoots college students from the clock tower is a big deal.

Self-control, to me, is having the ability to manage one's anger and adrenalin and not let it control one to do stupid things.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 34

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 5:25:55 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

No human has complete control over all of their emotions. It's about how he deals with them, not whether he can repress them.

To me, that's what self control is - dealing with issues in such a way they do not take over you.

quote:

Every human makes mistakes. It's more about WHY those mistakes happened. Would you believe someone that said they had never made amistake?

In my opinion, making a mistake is different than losing control. Losing control is just one form of error. Anyone who declares to not ever make mistakes is either joking or dillusional :)

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 35

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 5:29:41 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CERCKL

quote:

It was only after I attained the 9th level of dominate that I gained complete mastery of all emotions. I was then granted the "Ears of Spock" as I had gained complete control over myself and all desires, lusts, and fears. I am now a true dominate...

But before I got to that shit, oh boy I did all kinds a shit. I attacked people on the boards who pissed me off, I roared at idiots who did things I didn't like, I growled at children, even stole their candy. I took women's hearts and crushed them like eggshells. In general I acted like one of the many people here we call "others"...

However, since so many are perfect here, that is what must explain the vast preponderance of posts not about how to fix things that are broken, or "is this wrong" but are instead almost exclusively about how to make the nearly perfect absolutely perfect.

Oh the joy to be in total self control...

Laughing...thank you.
As a Dom, I am perfect; I always know what she needs; I am never upset by any misunderstanding or miscommunication, I always act rationally and beyond reproach...I lack all attachment and expectations upon what is desired, in fact I have let go of all desire. I am a light being of awareness. I am perfect, spiritually, emotionally, personally...I have cut through all threads of maya and I am one with all.
Jesus ain't got shit on me...

C

People seem to be confusing getting upset with losing control. Two totally different things in my book. Losing control is taking anger a step (or more) further. I grew up with an out of control parent who could not handle her anger. It was quire damaging. Getting angry is one thing. Being passionate about your anger is also understandable. But being out of control? No way. Been there, done that.

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 36

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 5:49:19 PM

zumala

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

It's one thing to get upset. Everyone does that. Express anger, that's fine. But the first time someone strikes me in anger... THEN there's a problem. I don't want things thrown at my head, either.

BTW... Crappy, Level, and Loki... You guys slay me! ROFLOL! And yes, I did like the original StarTrek. LOL...

zuma

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 37

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 6:15:04 PM

CERCKL

Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

People seem to be confusing getting upset with losing control. Two totally different things in my book. Losing control is taking anger a step (or more) further. I grew up with an out of control parent who could not handle her anger. It was quire damaging. Getting angry is one thing. Being passionate about your anger is also understandable. But being out of control? No way. Been there, done that.

Understood...I hate dealing with situations when I am angry, I know that I will not be reasonable, rather I will try to say things to hurt...essentially alot of anger stems from frustration; sometimes very deep seated. I have experienced those who have come from very abusive family situations and have heard how initially they have sought the same type of relationships with others, thinking that was love.
Personally, I feel there are no negative emotions, they are just emotions...and I agree how they are dealt with is very important. To recognize, analyze and try to understand the root is important. To work through the cause and hopefully work through it, let it go, reach a base of calm again.
As well as to have the balls to go back and state when you reacted wrong and how you reacted wrong; this was something having kids taught me...I was wrong. Not an easy thing to have to admit to but much more honest than pretending it never happened. For everyone.

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 38

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 8:47:41 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Level,

In fact, when they took that picture I was explaining how large the urethral opening is...

As for "self control" I think that those claiming to always be in control of their emotions either have none, are full of it, or don't have triggers/buttons that get pushed in relationships.

I DO believe it is an important GOAL to not lose control and step past passion/anger into saying and or doing hurtful and spiteful things.

< Message edited by CrappyDom -- 6/4/2006 8:48:05 PM >

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 39

RE: Self-control - 6/4/2006 8:48:10 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

Who ever it was who said there is no such thing as a stupid question was a moron.

(in reply to CERCKL)

Post #: 40

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