xssve
Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
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Well I don't presume to know either of you, so I won't judge, humiliation and pain play can be a good way to get someone to shed their inhibitions, both top and bottom - kind of an "all in" effect for the bottom, i.e., there's no sense holding back, if you're being called a slut, might as well act like one, and for the top it can create a certain emotional distance that keep you from getting too excited and able to better exercise self control - men have inhibitions too - I've seen guys completely freak out when a girl starts acting slutty, it can be very threatening to some men, and there's a lot of social reinforcement of the idea that little girls are made of sugar and spice, etc., that creates delusional expectations in both genders, when in fact the evidence suggest women are at least as libidinous as men.
Anyway, the point of all that it, you really just need to think about what your ultimate goals are here, she trusts you to lead her to the place you want her to be, so think about where exactly that place is.
Specifically, w/respect to verbal humiliation, the most neutral approach is to use e-prime, that is avoidance of all forms of the verb, "to be": that is, instead of saying, "you're a slut", you might say, "you're acting like a slut", "if you're going to act like a slut I'll treat you like one" etc.
On the one hand, this shifts the focus form being to doing, i.e., acting out as opposed to identification, and might make it easier to pull back during the periods when you aren't engaged in play, but socializing.
And that, finally, is the most important thing, you need to communicate with her, get her feedback and thoughts, it's all well and good to as k strangers in an internet forum for ideas to take things to another level, but none of us know you, or her, and some of the stuff I've just said is like basics, I do have some ideas, it sounds like you're both comfortable with the idea, but I think overall, the main thing is to stay focused n making it a mutually agreeable experience, and to grow in the relationship.
I know that sounds kinda touchy-feely, but humiliation can be very intimate, and can create a greater degree of interdependence.
Overall, humiliation bottoms often have very strong self confidence, I've even seen chicks use self-humiliation to completely top a guy from the bottom. 
Of course the other half the time, they're fishing for compliments. 
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Walking nightmare...
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Any suggestions on how to abuse/humiliate my new slave? - 
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