IrishMist
Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: tsatske
Okay, I've had an insommniac night, so maybe I'm just bitchy. But, and, yes, I know how annoying newcommers can sometimes be until they get to know us, but from time to time, on a regular basis, in fact, a new commer comes along and asks, 'how do I sort out the real ones from the not real ones'
And, granted, it's not a great question. And when pressed for details about what they mean by not real, do they, say, mean, not human, not breathing - they suggest things like - no, someone who wants their fantasies fullfilled. Hey, we ALL want our fantasies fulfilled. So they do a sucky job of telling us what they mean.
And they get told - everyone is real. everyone is a real human, everyone is real.
up where I live, we just had some of the worst tornadoes of the last centurary. And while no robots are going to show up at your door offering home repair services - everyone who knocks on your door will be a real human - some of them aren't real subcontractors. some of them are con men, in fact.
So I think we should admit, some people on CM - not usually on this side, though we do get the occasional troll or wanker - but some people on CM are simply not REAL. And, having more time and experience than the newbies who ask, I feel better qualified to say what I, at least, mean by real.
Really what they purport to be.
Really interested in me. If CM has to warn me in big red letters that you are habitually sending out more than ONE LETTER a MINUTE - you are not really interested in me, as a person.
And, last but not least, really not a con artist. Pros are not con artists, they offer a service, and everyone knows what they are getting and for how much. But there are con artists on here. And on my local vanilla boards, too. And how does some guy in nigeria get the web adress of a small town local American board, anyhow? I mean, how did he even find me there? but they do.
Not every good, decent, wholesome BDSMer is a match for every other, and that doesn't make them any less real. But, let's face it, not everyone is keeping it real.
I enjoyed your whole post, but the part I bolded is what I agree with.
I think, a lot of us, on this side tend to forget what it was like when we first started out (don't flay me for that lol, please ). What I mean is...we were once newbies too, and as newbies, asked the same questions that we now see as idiotic, and lacking in basic common sense.
When I first came to these boards, I was totally ignorant of what BDSM, M/s, D/s, etc, etc could encompass and mean. Sure, I had lived with a man for a long time who had friends who were and are following the Gorean tennets; however, we did not label ourselves as such...my late husband never used the word slave, submissive, dominant to express who we were. I never even knew that our Gorean friends labeled themselves as such. I only knew who they were, and who we were...and that it was ok to be that way.
Then, I come here, and suddenly everyone is throwing out labels, names, rules, etc etc...the first month I was here, I remember thinking WHAT THE FUCK...and I know I asked some pretty stupid and lame ass questions. I may not have been a newcomer to the way of life that many of us practice, but I sure was a newcomer to the labeling of such a life. 
Sometimes I forget what that confusion felt like. And sometimes, I need to reminded...as you did here. So for that, I thank you. 
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Not everyone is real - 
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, get the 'oh, goody, an idiot...let's play' attitude...which usually leaves THEM in a rage, and me in giggles. Through the years, I have learned the fine art of sarcasm and bitchery...and I use both to my best advantage. 
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