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RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:02:47 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Littlepita

If not I just ignore them and they move along to someone else.


Yeah, it's really hard to have an argument or a love affair all alone... ignoring someone takes no effort whatsoever, just click and delete

(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:04:41 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		Typically, I write a short note of perhaps one or two lines, indicating why an individual is not a good fit for us at this time. Occasionally, if it is clear that an individual hasn't read our profile, or I try to get some more information when they've provided a sparse amount in the email and I find there is either no profile or a profile with nothing in it from which to garner more information, I won't write back at all.

Da'Avatar ZWD


www.klashaan.org

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:07:15 PM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I do try to be cordial, but I'm rather 'matter-of-fact. If they've really said nothing in their initial contact, such as 'hi' or 'how are you', and nothing matches up on our profiles, I do ask them the purpose of their contacting me. I have a few that continue to contact me after I've told them that we are not a match and I'm not really into telling my whole life story (or the size of my chest) to someone I've no common interest with. There are a few that have haven't like my realistic reasonings for them not being a match for me and they have gone off on a rampage. Sometimes, I may have a quick retort, then ignore them. I've been approached by couples or men who want poly and I ask them what specifically in my profile led them to think I would be interested in that. I understand that most haven't even looked at my profile, but one, or two may actually have clicked on the wrong profile accidently, or maybe something confused them in what they read.
I've had a few that didn't stop when I requested it, for the most part, I just ignore them. I usually don't banter back and forth as I tend to get my humor from a good book or movie. Now if I'm all out..hey, a girls gotta her her humor somewhere LOL

~Big

___________________
ahhhh I see sounds

~Big

_________________________
ahhhh I see sounds

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:07:32 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		The content of the email is the gauge of how I reply. Nice gets nice, a lot get automatically blocked, some get the auto reply button, some just get ignored all together, neither blocked nor replied. So, it depends. If it's someone from the forums, I'm 'usually' open to discussion unless it's condescending, then they get ignored on both sides of Collarme. I've only done that once though as most from the forums who write me are pretty cool people and I like them a great deal. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Littlepita)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:12:36 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Whether I agree with you on a subject or not, I always enjoy your posts. Your sense of humor is so awesome. Ive seen you crack a joke at the perfect moment, and disarm a quickly escalating thread....
 
I hope to always see your wisdom here.... You're a gem.
 
And you keep benji in line sooooo well.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:22:41 PM   
shyfem


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I try to respond to most, I will admit though that some get deleted with no response as they obviously have not bothered to read my profile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

I also believe that it costs nothing to be kind towards someone. honey truly does draw flies better than vinegar. and that emailer you're treating like shit, just might be best friends with "Mr. Right - who's newly single and lookin'" LOL


I couldn't agree more Calandra
 
~shy
______________________________
May all who tread here find what they seek!

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:28:36 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Whether I agree with you on a subject or not, I always enjoy your posts. Your sense of humor is so awesome. Ive seen you crack a joke at the perfect moment, and disarm a quickly escalating thread....
 
I hope to always see your wisdom here.... You're a gem.
 
And you keep benji in line sooooo well.

Wow.. thanks, sweetie! That was nice! ::grins:: As for benji.. it doesn't take much to keep him line.. let him pee on your leg and he's a happy puppy.. and that's not a limit for me, so it's all good. ;)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:34:13 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
How do you typically reject people's emails? 
Do you find that they respect your wishes? Please explain...


I have clearly defined in My profile who and what I am looking for.  On top of that, I specify the information that I expect to see in a letter of introduction.  If a male meets the criteria I specifcy in My profile and supplies the information I request, there is almost 100% probability that I will answer the e-mail.  It shows Me he read My profile and respects My wishes and that definitely calls for a reply, IMO.
 
If, on the other hand, the person is clearly outside My stated guidelines and/or does not supply the information I request, I generally just don't answer.  I actually state in My profile that they shouldn't expect to receive a response, so I feel that they have been forwarned.  In essence, the way I "reject" the e-mail is by simply not answering it.  I have found that most respondents don't write back a second time if I don't reply. 
 
Approximately 90% of the respondents are either way outside My guidelines (married, live in a different country, young enough to be My son, etc.), or send Me a one liner such as "Got a pic?," "How are u?," etc. They obviously did not take the time to read My profile, so I don't feel obligated to respond.  On top of that, I have set up bulk mail controls so that I don't even see many of these e-mails.
 
Back when I had more time and patience than I do now, I used to conscientiously reply to each and every e-mail I received.  Submissives have stated time and time again that they would like to hear back one way or the other.  However, when I took the time to send a courteous "no thank you," what I often got in return was a hateful, vitriolic response.that was very uncalled for.  Guess some folks don't handle rejection well, even when One is polite about it.  Who needs that?
 
Some of My friends consider My system to be very rude, but it works for Me
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:38:57 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Hello A/all,

I dont get many emails, and tend to take my time getting to know the person before asking them out for coffee.  If the person's profile
reads "dont contact me" or "no men" or "buzz off" or whatever, I
think it is only courteous to respect their space.

If I send somebody an email and get a rejection back, I will thank them for their response and wish them well, even if it is a nasty sort of rejection.  And then I move on.

Where I have encountered trouble is after meeting them for coffee.
If I am not interested in pursuing things, I try to give them a call and let them know it wont happen.  In one case I had to resort to email as her phone was not working.  What I have had happen 2 of the 3 people I have gone out for coffee with in the past year, is that after I told them I was not interested, what ended up happening was a barrage of phone calls, emails, etc., cajoling me, begging me, attempting to use various forms of emotional blackmail, etc., to try to get me to change my mind.

Which feels strange to me.  I thought I was the Dominant.  Those sorts get politely responded to a few times and then I simply dont respond at all.  I figure they will get bored and go find somebody else to harangue.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:41:54 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		How I reject depends in part on how I was approached.  If someone is polite and seems sincere then they'll get a polite no thank you from me.  If they wrote enough of a letter that I can find something nice to say, I will.  Its nice when people actually take the time to write a letter rather than just one or two sentences.  I may even be open to friendly coorespondence with some (typically those who write letters), even though I'm not interested in them in other ways.

Then there are those emails from some who seem to have written me without ever having read my profile.  For example, sometime back I got an email from one lady who asked if I would take her into the woods and spank her, she attached some nude photos of herself.  She didn't introduce herself, say anything else or express any other interest.  Reading her profile I noted that she was married which is something I clearly state is a hard limit for me (I don't play or otherwise get involved with married women, personal policy).  I did not reply to her.

I also got a few from gay men, something else I'm clearly not interested in.  In two cases both were originally fairly polite so I responded with a no thank you note, pointed out gay sub males were not my interest and wished them well.  One wrote back and appologized for writing me, and that was the last I heard from him.  The other became belligerent and insistent, both attacking me and begging to submit to me at the same time (behavior I found bizarre to say the least), him I put on block.  One of only a couple of people I've had to block, I'm happy to say.

For the most part I try to give a polite rejection, I'm not out to crush anyone's ego or dreams.  Most of the time that seems to work, every now and then it doesn't.  BTW, I'm also happy to say that on the three instances where someone wrote me hate mail, when reported to CM they promptly suspended the accounts of all three individuals.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:47:18 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		For the nice ones, I generally reiterate, as it states in my profile, that I'm involved and only here for friends and the boards and I welcome new friends, but that's as far as it goes. For ones that want to know my bra size or what my kinks are, etc. I feel no obligation to respond.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:48:40 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I send No Thank You's and typically I get the rejection temper tamtrum, which is SO attractive in a Dominant.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 3:49:58 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		you have a good point there
 
where is it a rule that "having coffee" means "we're gonna pick out curtains"?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:02:06 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, I admit that sometimes the way I respond is dependant on my mood. I always respond in some way, and if it's a polite email then I always take the time to be pleasant.

How I answer the way-off-base emails differs. If I'm in a good mood I'll take the time to reply with a helpful comment, such as: You may not have noticed from my profile that I am not interested in (dominants under 30, long-distance, etc). You may want to pay closer attention to such details in the future and save yourself the wasted energy in replying to such profiles. Good luck in your search.
 
If my mood is not so good, I may just send them the not-interested template response. I find that reply usually stops things nice and dead.

If I'm looking for a puppy to kick (heeeere, Benji...here boy!!) than I let loose with my scathing pen, errrr keyboard, and let off some frustration. But, I never do that unless I feel it's completely deserved.

I-can-lick pussy-for-hours emails...either get the 'Thank you, have a nice day!" response, or just ignored, simply because I refuse to give them the pleasure of thinking they rankled me. It's like a child saying "I farted", just to get your attention.

Most of the time I don't get repeat offenders, but I did have to block someone last week who sent me one of those idiotic sex-offer emails. He sent me the same one, repeatedly; same email, every 30 minutes. I reported him each time, then the third time I employed the 3-strikes-you're-out option.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:03:35 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I send No Thank You's and typically I get the rejection temper tamtrum, which is SO attractive in a Dominant.


Or begging...Don't you just adore a dominant man who begs?? ::rolling eyes::

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:08:08 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		What is required by House Iron Bear is stated clarly in both mine and Neets's profiles. We also show what vacencies we have too. If the email id from Aussie or New Zealand, I simply thank then for asking and tell them that if they re-read my profile and take special notice on what I have set down as requirements for slaves, they will realise that even though they are proably wonderfull slaves they do not meet my rerquirements. If they are from other places about the globe (we're having a spate of slaves apparently from Holland, Austria, Jugoslavia and Russia at the moment pleading to come and join us), I just point out that I would require them to live close by as we are not equipped for live-in at the moment and that with the draconian DImmigration department we have it can take up to 5 years to get a permit for residency but they cant get a permit to stay untill then other than as tourists.... I have been known to give a couple the web site for our Immigration Deptartment where they can find all this out for themselves...

If I get any winging and crying after they have been told no, they are blocked....



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:15:48 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		I get the "I'll do anything for you Mistress" from people who live half the globe away...
 
I'll tell them to please go to their kitchen and make me a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup.... The response is usually "but I can't serve that to you from here" which I then say "EXACTLY!"
 
~giggles~

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:16:49 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		okay, okay, okay... HOW do ya respond to the likes of:

"you are quite a woman....one that needs to understand (as she probably already does) that she has alot to offer and deserves the best to take her and own her.  One that will create and make her into the very best."

or  "Hi my ove in this lifestyle is total control, bondage and some humiliation. Your bisexual does that mean you would like to share females occasionally with Master?"

or  "wishing u a super duper fantabulous awesome day"  (that guy sends me variations on his theme...never more, never less; in spite of the thank you I sent.)

or...a smileyface offering flowers?

or my fave:  "kneels"

Okay...each of these notes is unoffensive, really.  I get tons like this...stuff that goes nowhere.  Invitations to tell 'more about myself' when I've got a rather lengthly profile and he's got:  Male, Dom...period.   These are supposed to be adult men looking for dates?  <shakes head>  I'll never figure it out.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:19:09 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

you have a good point there
 
where is it a rule that "having coffee" means "we're gonna pick out curtains"?



I saw a t-shirt I want to have made up that says "If you act like a mental patient, expect to be treated like one."

I suppose I could be flattered that they would want me that desperately.

On the other hand, it is entirely possible that every Dom they have coffee with is subjected to the same e-ticket ride.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:21:45 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		(pointing to my previous post)
 
I sometimes will post "throwing broken glass on the floor - NOW you may kneel" or something off the wall...
 
as for the ones that make you the best you can be... I responded to those by saying "If I am a good slave, it becomes MY responsibility to be the best I can be, so YOU can relax and be the best YOU can be..."

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 40
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