Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Rejections...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Rejections... Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:21:56 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		How do I reject someone emails?  I say....Thanks, but no thanks.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:23:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		If someone rejects me I move on very qucikly. Most of the time that has not been a problem for me, but if someone doesnt answer an email or is not into me... well "next" is what I say.  It is fairly easy  for women to do that I suppose. It is after I get to know someone over a period of time and get close to them then rejection is deeper and harder to deal with.... even then you have to learn from your experiences and move on eventually. I respect people's space, even if it is someone I felt owed me an explanation, I still wouldn't bother them for it.

On the other hand I try to be kind when telling someone they are not for me on sites such as CM. I usually explain why we would be unsuitable to each other. I will not argue the point with the person. I may chuckle when they obviously did not read my profile, and sometimes I will not answer emails from people that didnt read my profile. On the whole I try to treat others like I want to be treated. I am a generous person and think most are sincere, even if it isnt true I treat all as if they are sincere seekers, even if they are not right for me.

It is usually age differential, goal of relationship, or distance that is a determining factor for me when I have rejected people. It is never personal. I never insult people who email me unless they are abusive. I have rarely had an abusive email from anyone. I do not see expressing interest in me as being "trollish" as some do.. I think people are here to meet like-minded individuals and if they are not right for me, they will be right for someone.

I guess I understand the comic part of the weeding process of going through emails from some people I thought were "odd", but I guess that's the point, I find humor in it. I cannot imagine staying on CM if I took it all sooooo seriously. I have had mostly positive experiences so far. My pet peeve are "dick pics". I do not like that because it is almost like some strange man showing me his penis in front of a store and I kinda find this creepy... But I even laugh at that. It also made the weeding process easier to finding someone I could relate to... but this is me and I could be wrong.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/4/2006 4:24:23 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:37:15 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Re: Dick Pics
 
I am reminded of an old Robin Williams standul routine where he says that a great response to a flasher is "no thanks, I don't do miniatures" LOL
 
In the adult phone industry we used to have this interesting trick... when a guy was about to tell us their size and we were in danger of laughing, we were told to exhale deeply and quickly... You simply cannot laugh and exhale at the same time, and the guy thinks you're inhaling from surprise... ~giggles~

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 4:47:32 PM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline 		well im new, and haven't really rejected anyone per se...
but a couple i wasnt overly interested in sent a "What is it you seek sir?" or the like.
The reply deliniated some of my most explicitly harsh dominant cravings spanning several paragraphs (since i dearly love to write such to submissives) and ends with me appreciating their interest and politely noting that if "any of the above" stimulates them they should contact me again.
(i guess thinking if they really can take my heat, maybe i will let them into my kitchen)

so far, no cigar <evil grin>
shame on me, i should stop doing that to the poor girls.



_____________________________



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 5:03:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		That might be a little mean... but they asked right? When I was actively searching I wouldnt have asked that right away... WEG..lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 5:24:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
How do you typically reject people's emails?

I don't respond to 98% of them- the form letters, the dork one liners, the obvious wankers.

The ones who are actual thoughful emails, I simply say that I appreciate their writing and compliments but am not really interested in getting involved at this time.

quote:


Do you find that they respect your wishes? Please explain...

Yup.  But again, that likely wouldn't be the case if I tried to respond to the dorky ones.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 5:26:55 PM   
eruditegirl1


Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline 		The first day I joined...I came home to 200 emails....I was so overwhelmed...at first I was polite....and tried to answer each one...even if it was only a "thank you"....half way through....I started only emailing back the ones with pictures....took me 2 days...then I would say roughly half of the polite..."no thank yous"...I had emailed either returned with a plea of give me a shot...or were rude....after debating with a few back and forth as to why I wasn't interested...it got to be a waste of time and consuming....I may be considered rude now....but I just don't answer unwanted emails from Doms I am not interested in....just seems easier for me...I am sure there have been some wonderful men whom have emailed and I am sorry they were lumped in with the jerks...
That's my approach and it works for me....so no response is how I (don't really like saying rejected) choose to respond to unsolicited emails....

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 5:33:47 PM   
MstrssM4u


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/5/2005
Status: offline 		in rejection, I just send a simple thanks but no thanks very politely and they send a reply back saying thank you. that is My simple soluton for Me.

Ms M

(in reply to eruditegirl1)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 6:06:42 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		It depends very much on the email and my mood at the time.  There are plenty that I just do not reply to at all.  Others, I'll send the template Thanks and good luck in your search.  It just really depends on the email.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to MstrssM4u)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Rejections... - 6/4/2006 7:45:56 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Mine are alway a polite. thank you for your interest but i'm not intersted. sometimes i give a reason. sometimes I use the auto thanks but no thanks reply but i always reply.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Rejections... - 6/5/2006 8:12:58 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
I’m that bitch you see all the subs complaining about that "can’t take a minute to politely respond with a no thank you." Yup. That’s me. The queen of no response.
I used to do the no thank you thing, but found that my rejection was always rebutted.
"No thank you."
"Please? If you give me a try…"
or
"Why not?"
or
"You’re a bitch anyway."
or
"I’m sorry that I’m not worthy of your precious time, but please take a moment to…."
Blah, blah, blah… My no thank you wasn’t an invitation for us to begin conversation. It meant "I’m not interested in you, so go about your merry way."
I also do the non-response thing because I’m tired, or because I’m more interested in skipping email and going to the forums, or because I can’t think of anything to say, or because I have a headache, or because my son wants to get on the computer, or because the neighbors are being too loud for me to concentrate, or because I simply forgot to respond, or because I can’t keep track of who I meant to respond to and who I meant to delete. (I really need a filing/flagging system for CM emails.)
I don’t get worried much about emails here. It wouldn’t be healthy for me to stress myself out by making a point of responding to every single one. On good days, when I have plenty of time, and my health is good, and I’m relaxed, and someone writes me something of interest, I take the time to write back. Other days, I don’t.
I truly live by "What’s meant to be, will be."

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Rejections... - 6/5/2006 8:28:08 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra
How do you typically reject people's emails?
 
Do you find that they respect your wishes? Please explain...
I usually read their emails/profiles, and if I find that we aren't a fit, I will usually say so...  How long/kind/courteous the response from me is depends on how kind/courteous his/her email to me was.
I thank the person for emailing, but decline based on specifics that I read and find contrary to my profile/desires/beliefs.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Rejections... - 6/5/2006 8:43:28 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I try to reply politely, the usual "thanks but I have a wonderful Dom, hope you find what you're looking for" type of reply.  Most people are fine. 

One guy sent an email that he'd be in my city for a week, and he'd love to meet me for some fun.  Standard reply as given above.  So then I get, "When can we meet?"  A+ for trying, F- for comprehension skills. 

Mostly, though, they wish me well and move on.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Rejections... - 6/5/2006 8:50:06 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

How do you typically reject people's emails?
 
Do you find that they respect your wishes? Please explain...

If they got close to what I asked for in my profile, or if they came close to what I said I was seeking in my profile and yet, I'm still disinterested, I'll take the time to write them, explain my reasoning, and wish them well.

If they're someone who didn't bother to read my profile and sent me some blathering nonsense about what they want.....I point them back to my profile and spell out what parts they failed to recognize.  Rare is it that I get a response back that is outrageous in this respect.  Generally, they are more pleading, asking if I can make exceptions (say for a married guy or someone who is grossly over or under my preferred age parameters).  My answer is no.  I don't ask someone else to give up their hopes and expectations, and I shouldn't be expected to do so either.

If they were spamming me and writing for their own jollies -- they get whatever comes off my fingertips.  It's sometimes just deleted.  Other times, it's a colorful reply.  I generally then block them for good measure.  I've learned if I don't, people really don't take kindly to being told that they're selfish and/or illiterate!  LOL

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Rejections... - 6/5/2006 9:58:42 AM   
NCSilverWolves


Posts: 123
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snappykappy

very good responses from all who have responded to this question especially the one which takes more energy to reply negatively than positively

also from reading a lot of forums here one does get a lot of things answered to ones questions which they are wanting to find some sort of answer to

i also use the supermarket approach



(((((((((((((((((Snappy))))))))))))))))) nice to see you about again.

Still banging the shopping carts are you?...lol

Depending on the content of the e-mail.... depends on my rejection. One worders... Hi... usually get ignored. ........ One sentance..... Hi there, I think we're a good fit. ....sometimes gets ignored... sometimes depending on mood.... i send back a laugh.
It goes on from there..... it just depends on content....and mood.


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to snappykappy)
Profile   Post #: 55
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Rejections... Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078