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RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/9/2006 3:48:39 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

quote:

quote:

Original Quote: LuckyAlbatross

I'd agree only IF he had told her that it was a high likelihood of happening that particular night.

Otherwise you're stuck with never wearing nice things, or eventually something nice getting destroyed. It's a situation that 2 seconds of foresight on EITHER side could have avoided- and since he's the one who decides what play happens, I don't think it's too much to ask to communicate whether it's likely or not on any particular night.

damnit... I feel like Im a libran..sitting on the fence...yeah I can appreciate what you're saying there too LuckyAlbatross lol

I guess it boils down to what type of relationship they have. With time a Master/Dom/Top would get to know the person they are playing with and it wouldnt even have to be talked about. Like for example, Master would know what clothes would be okay to rip up etc. If however its just a casual playing situation, there are so many factors involved that the Top would have to be conscious of.

And then adding another knot to this:

I know that when I was dating my Dom but living single, ripping my clothes off would have upset me too. Let's face it, I didn't make a lot of money and worked very hard for the money I did earn. Ripping my clothes off would have represented a collosal waste of my money and my labor. Otherwise, warn me and I'll wear something that I don't care about or you as the Dom can buy the clothes that can get ripped off.

With the situation as it now, our money is pooled so it makes no difference. Master has a good handle on what clothes are precious to me and which I don't care about. He also understands that if he rips off a skirt, chances are that I'll need another to replace it.

_____________________________

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(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 81

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/9/2006 9:27:43 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Thanks guys for the talk of cookies and brownies! I already carry a small very soft blanket in my implements case for wrapping my little treasures in but imagine their surprise when I hand them a perfect soft brownie...

Hmmm

OK, I was handed a perfect soft brownie today. By a co-worker. And I didn't have to lose any expensive outfits to receive it, either. I simply smiled. Heh...

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 82

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/11/2006 5:03:52 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

The subs say "buy her a new outfit", cool,! I wonder where she got that outfit in the first place? We had negotiated !she knew We were going to play in fact she asked Me if I would play with her. I had told her I was going to cut her clothes off but I did not say when. The day I have to ask her permission is the day I say "goodbye" to her.

Yes, you negotiated that you would do this some time...BUT, you failed to make sure you weren't destroying some property that she cherishes. Do you see the difference?

I'd say the same thing if you asked if I mind bruises occasionally, but fail to make sure I don't have to go swimming the next day with my family, or to the doctors for a mammogram, before covering me in bruises.

If you ask me if you can cut clothes off me, sometime, I'd say sure. If you mean "When you're not suspecting it and might be wearing something you love that might not be replaceable.." I would definitely say Hard Limit!

Most women have very strong feelings about their clothing. I realize that to most men a shirt is a shirt, is a shirt, but most women I know don't feel the same way.

Just chalk it up to learning something important about the female mind, and offer to replace it.

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(in reply to artglfr)

Post #: 83

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/11/2006 6:00:46 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Replacable maybe, but not always that exact same item or that exact same size. I wear my dresses for 2 4 or 5 years should they stay nice to wear, you can not replace the exact same favorit gozzy blue dress with milky white flowers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OnyxGoddess

Makes me wonder....if you know part of your play MIGHT involve "rough" stuff (pulling, ripping, cutting etc.) WHY the hell would you wear your GOOD clothes? Show up in something nice then pull the cliche line "let me slip into something more comfortable" and change. Good grief. Don't wear grandma's beautiful blouse (grams might not like the fact you were doin' bad stuff in her clothing.) Go to the ten dollar store/rave or charlotte russe...get a nice inexpensive titty shirt and have fun. Clothing unless it's vintage is replaceable. I've been well off and I've been broke and one lesson I've always held onto is that material things mean NOTHING. It's the things you CAN'T replace that truly matter.

(in reply to OnyxGoddess)

Post #: 84

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/12/2006 2:19:26 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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Yeah that was a boo-boo....It happens to us all....Youll make it up to her with the next mind ripping, hair gripping, head tripping session I am sure...

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(in reply to MistressDeAnnya)

Post #: 85

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/12/2006 6:02:30 PM

angelface183

Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

Master and I are moving in together soon. I have way too many clothes including a portion of my deceased sister's wardrobe. I mentioned to Master that I would throw away or donate a good portion of the unwanted items. I asked if I should put some things aside so that He could tear or cut them away during play. I asked if he preferred certain types of clothing and whether or not it should match. He started laughing saying, "I can see it now...'I can't rape that woman; her outfit clashes!'"

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Post #: 86

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/12/2006 9:24:07 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

You aren't paying her bills, you don't know how long she saved for that special outfit. You need to replace it. In future, tell her to wear old clothes, or buy outfits for her and instruct her to wear that. Cutting up a Salvation Army $10 outfit is one thing, destroying a custom made $400 corset is something else.

Unless you support her, which your post does not indicate, you do not have the right to tell her how to spend her money.

(in reply to MistressDeAnnya)

Post #: 87

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/12/2006 11:34:27 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

Original: angelface
He started laughing saying, "I can see it now...'I can't rape that woman; her outfit clashes!'"

lol...laughing here

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(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 88

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/13/2006 3:29:10 PM

candleTC

Posts: 148
Joined: 5/8/2006
From: Springfield, Il
Status: offline

All i will say here is... MY THOUGHTS exactly.

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(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 89

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/14/2006 7:11:50 PM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

Have been away but great to see excellent replies from so many.

I would NEVER send her away without the hugging and comedown time. She is very precious to me but I do like to shake her up at times and she loves it also.

Yes, I gave her a cookie And a drink. After any scening i make certain she will have cookies and hydration as well as having water available as We play. I have been a sub and know how awful it is to have to ask for water and there is none handy. She will always have hydrating liquid.

There are so many caring posts here. Thank You.

I do purchase most of her clothes. I do pay the bills. I would never cut up one of her favorite blouses...that would just be WRONG !!!

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(in reply to candleTC)

Post #: 90

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/15/2006 12:26:31 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

Last night I was being very kind to My sub by keeping her in Bondage and flogging her while she still had her clothes on to start with.

As she was in sub space so totally I decided to use the knife I was using on her to cut her blouse off which I enjoyed doing very much. Apparently she didn't at all. after I saw she was out of sub space I asked her what was up and she said "we never negotiated that...You cutting my clothes off!" We actually had and I had mentioned I was going to one day but she wasn't real happy.

I untied her and gave her a cookie and sent her outside to cool off.

Sometimes it's not so easy is it?

Anytime I am cutting off clothes they are ones that are older and are inexpensive.
I dont always say I'm going to cut their clothes off,but they are dressed in clothes I pay for and most of the time its cheap bras and panties anyway.

Having said that a blouse is different,I Myself would discuss it in the beginning and again on the day of or just before I do it.Sometime just cutting buttons off can be fun and those can be sewed back on.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to artglfr)

Post #: 91

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/15/2006 12:03:40 PM

angelicbeast

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Japan via America
Status: offline

LuckyAlbatross said-
And yes, she may have consented to it "at some point in the future" but I gotta tell you that if someone cut off my grandmothers favorite shirt that's kinda irreplaceable, I'd prefer they let me know ahead of time.

Absolutely. It's not about the COST of the garment, it's about how much she LIKED it.
Some things are one of a kind, and any girl loves her dom to understand how she FEELS- whether it is regarding life, love, bondage or favourite shirts.
That said it sounds kinda fun...

< Message edited by angelicbeast -- 6/15/2006 12:10:52 PM >

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 92

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/19/2006 4:52:21 AM

Kree

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline

There are easy ways to handle this problem. One of the best is to make it an "expedition" to find scene clothes. It is amazing what people donate to places like Goodwill. Very expensive gowns, silk blouses, etc etc. Go on a shopping trip to Goodwill and find things for play. It will be quite inexpensive compared to the "day after play" shopping trip. To enhance the experience, pick an outfit for her to wear at the beginning of the scene. That will trigger thoughts that the clothing will be cut or ripped off. Dont cut it or rip it. The point being, to keep her guessing about WHEN it will happen. Those shopping trips are fun because you are sharing an experience/secret that no one else in the store knows about or would necessarily understand.

Another interesting trick is to use a pair of small scissors and cut through part of the thread holding the buttons on. When you grab the blouse and rip it, the buttons fly away without destroying the garment. The effect is destruction, but if you do the thread right, it is just flying buttons. The submissive can re-attach the buttons and the garment should survive nicely.

Now... about Victoria's Secret underwear. Often, it is wiser to remove the body part to gain access instead of cutting the VS clothing. ( for what it's worth)

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Post #: 93

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/19/2006 7:05:56 AM

KSControl

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline

When we talk about doing something 'sometime in the future', people rarely think we mean 'right now'. If cutting/ripping is 'always' going to be a possibility, then it's best just to say, 'Anytime we play, be prepared to have your clothes cut/ripped off, so don't wear anything you're not willing to have destroyed.' Very few people enjoy having their property destroyed, especially when it's property they value. I own my slave, and therefore her clothing as well. I don't have to negotiate anything with her at this point in our relationship. Still, if I am going to destroy her clothes, I make sure she is wearing something she doesn't mind losing. I don't *have* to do that, but I choose to, because I don't want the possibility of concern about property loss to dilute what otherwise can be a very powerful and erotic scene.

(in reply to MistressDeAnnya)

Post #: 94

RE: sub got upset cutting clothes off - 6/19/2006 7:41:52 AM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

Very well put. We shop the thrift stores and she and her friends go shopping for "slut clothing", they surprise me with a lot of what they find for almost nothing.

I like the idea about the buttons, got to try it.

Thanks

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(in reply to Kree)

Post #: 95

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