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RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 1:17:55 PM   
SailingBum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

I posted this here because I think it applies to everyone, switches, doms, and subs, and all can give their own perspective.

I think it's safe to say for any complimentary relationship, that playing the other role helps one understand it better, and compliment that role when playing it's opposite. Switches, I get that, and happen to agree.

Then there's the other side that says how can you be the truest true blood dom or sub if you don't devote yourself to that role. Reminds me of Spartans and Ninja warriors, and certainly resonates with me.

Where along these two extremes do you fall? Assuming it's one or the other, don't you see room for both? Is a switch really "better", or just more empathetic? Is a true blood dom or sub really any more or less devoted than a switch filling that role? Does experimenting or being flexible by offering to switch pollute one role? That view reminds me of a sleeping with the enemy perspective.




My take on it, your views are way to convoluted. Your suggesting by me becoming a sub it would help me understand it better. Uh Dude I really could give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive. You need to hit your RESET button as your not makin much sense

BadOne


quote:

give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive

you're basing it all on this...

"I really could give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive"

your powerful words speak for themselves, and i have nothing to add.

thanks for your interesting take on it.



Actually NO. That was a example. Your basic premise is flawed. Part of what your saying is to better understand a <insert anything here> dog for example, you need to act like a dog, or better yet become a dog. Perhaps now you get my point.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Profile   Post #: 141
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 2:17:55 PM   
Bhruic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Karmastic...

Nope I don't think that "Playing" or "assuming" or "being" the other role helps one understand it better. See below...

Bhruic:
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

My personal opinion is - and common sense dictates - that someone who explores both sides of a coin has more understanding of the whole coin than someone who only looks at one side.


I'm pretty sure that this argument has had the arse properly kicked out of it already.

Superficially your argument is attractive.... but it falls into fallacy because the coins are not the same. If I were to experience submission I'd be learning about the other side of "my" coin, not my partner's.

It would teach me fuck all.

[Ed to correct misspelling of Bhruic's nick, with apologies]


In my example, there is only one coin... The power relationship. Dominance being one side; submission the other. But you seem to understand my example in spite of "fallacy". Yes! You would have a greater understanding of the other side of your coin. I was only ever talking about the individual.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 4/17/2012 2:41:44 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 142
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 2:25:37 PM   
Karmastic


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From: Los Angeles
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

why should he care what it's like to be submissive?

I'm submissive and I don't really care what it's like to be dominant. It's not my nature and not something I need to experience in life. I know it would not be me.

Would you want to know what it's like to be a girl just because you're a guy dating a girl? I don't know about you but I have zero desire to know what it's like to be a guy.

Would you want to know what it's like to be a fireman or policeman or IT administrator or anything you are not? Unless you want to one day possibly BE that, why would you care?


you're taking the examples really far here. it's a truism, that you can be better at what u do if u understand better what/who your inputs/outputs go to.

sorry, this is kinda hashed out already.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 2:26:43 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

I posted this here because I think it applies to everyone, switches, doms, and subs, and all can give their own perspective.

I think it's safe to say for any complimentary relationship, that playing the other role helps one understand it better, and compliment that role when playing it's opposite. Switches, I get that, and happen to agree.

Then there's the other side that says how can you be the truest true blood dom or sub if you don't devote yourself to that role. Reminds me of Spartans and Ninja warriors, and certainly resonates with me.

Where along these two extremes do you fall? Assuming it's one or the other, don't you see room for both? Is a switch really "better", or just more empathetic? Is a true blood dom or sub really any more or less devoted than a switch filling that role? Does experimenting or being flexible by offering to switch pollute one role? That view reminds me of a sleeping with the enemy perspective.




My take on it, your views are way to convoluted. Your suggesting by me becoming a sub it would help me understand it better. Uh Dude I really could give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive. You need to hit your RESET button as your not makin much sense

BadOne


quote:

give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive

you're basing it all on this...

"I really could give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive"

your powerful words speak for themselves, and i have nothing to add.

thanks for your interesting take on it.



Actually NO. That was a example. Your basic premise is flawed. Part of what your saying is to better understand a <insert anything here> dog for example, you need to act like a dog, or better yet become a dog. Perhaps now you get my point.

BadOne

yes, i understand, but as i said to prior person (pls see that reply), you're taking the examples too far.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 6:18:39 PM   
LaTigresse


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I actually think it is you and another that is taking it too far.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 145
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 6:56:11 PM   
Karmastic


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I actually think it is you and another that is taking it too far.

i'd be interested to know specifics. what am i taking too far?

no offense, but it's easy for some people (not saying you personally) to misunderstand what they think someone is asking about and take that as advocating something they're not. Seen a lot of that in this thread.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 8:06:26 PM   
sincelo


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I think that theyre really good examples actually. I don't think that experiencing one will make you better at the other. If someone is really not submissive then they could not experience it the same way. One doesn't have to experience something to appreciate it

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Profile   Post #: 147
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 9:24:36 PM   
SailingBum


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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

I posted this here because I think it applies to everyone, switches, doms, and subs, and all can give their own perspective.

I think it's safe to say for any complimentary relationship, that playing the other role helps one understand it better, and compliment that role when playing it's opposite. Switches, I get that, and happen to agree.

Then there's the other side that says how can you be the truest true blood dom or sub if you don't devote yourself to that role. Reminds me of Spartans and Ninja warriors, and certainly resonates with me.

Where along these two extremes do you fall? Assuming it's one or the other, don't you see room for both? Is a switch really "better", or just more empathetic? Is a true blood dom or sub really any more or less devoted than a switch filling that role? Does experimenting or being flexible by offering to switch pollute one role? That view reminds me of a sleeping with the enemy perspective.




My take on it, your views are way to convoluted. Your suggesting by me becoming a sub it would help me understand it better. Uh Dude I really could give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive. You need to hit your RESET button as your not makin much sense

BadOne


quote:

give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive

you're basing it all on this...

"I really could give a flying pig what it's like to be submissive"

your powerful words speak for themselves, and i have nothing to add.

thanks for your interesting take on it.



Actually NO. That was a example. Your basic premise is flawed. Part of what your saying is to better understand a <insert anything here> dog for example, you need to act like a dog, or better yet become a dog. Perhaps now you get my point.

BadOne

yes, i understand, but as i said to prior person (pls see that reply), you're taking the examples too far.


We agree to disagree. Thanks for a interesting conversation.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/17/2012 10:29:37 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

I posted this here because I think it applies to everyone, switches, doms, and subs, and all can give their own perspective.

I think it's safe to say for any complimentary relationship, that playing the other role helps one understand it better, and compliment that role when playing it's opposite. Switches, I get that, and happen to agree.

Then there's the other side that says how can you be the truest true blood dom or sub if you don't devote yourself to that role. Reminds me of Spartans and Ninja warriors, and certainly resonates with me.

Where along these two extremes do you fall? Assuming it's one or the other, don't you see room for both? Is a switch really "better", or just more empathetic? Is a true blood dom or sub really any more or less devoted than a switch filling that role? Does experimenting or being flexible by offering to switch pollute one role? That view reminds me of a sleeping with the enemy perspective.

My take on it - I used to wish I was bi-sexual, so that I could have twice as many options (and fun). But hairy bodies and cocks never turned me on. Now I sort of wish I was a switch. Sort of because I'm careful what I wish for.

As Elvis Costello put it, what's so funny about peace, love and understanding?


So, what you're really saying is....you're a "Dom", but you'd switch for the right girl.

(Many....I gotta tell you....you're a fucking giver!!!!!)

(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/18/2012 12:13:43 AM   
crazyml


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Nope. In your example there are two coins.

The Dom person and the sub person.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/18/2012 3:47:29 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

why should he care what it's like to be submissive?

I'm submissive and I don't really care what it's like to be dominant. It's not my nature and not something I need to experience in life. I know it would not be me.

Would you want to know what it's like to be a girl just because you're a guy dating a girl? I don't know about you but I have zero desire to know what it's like to be a guy.

Would you want to know what it's like to be a fireman or policeman or IT administrator or anything you are not? Unless you want to one day possibly BE that, why would you care?


you're taking the examples really far here. it's a truism, that you can be better at what u do if u understand better what/who your inputs/outputs go to.

sorry, this is kinda hashed out already.


Too far?

I used a similar analogy to littlewonder's "girl dating a guy", myself. It wasn't a matter of an example so much as the same principle. Makes sense that the different wardrobe is likely why women's minds process things differently to men. So if a man dresses as a woman, he'll have insight into what she thinks/feels....

No?

Anyways, if littlewonder and I are both saying it, you must be wrong...!

Focus.


_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/18/2012 4:10:11 PM   
Karmastic


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From: Los Angeles
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quote:


We agree to disagree. Thanks for a interesting conversation.
BadOne

i think you confused me asking questions as advocating it. but ditto, thank you very much too. i always learn more when i'm offered different viewpoints.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/18/2012 4:11:57 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

I posted this here because I think it applies to everyone, switches, doms, and subs, and all can give their own perspective.

I think it's safe to say for any complimentary relationship, that playing the other role helps one understand it better, and compliment that role when playing it's opposite. Switches, I get that, and happen to agree.

Then there's the other side that says how can you be the truest true blood dom or sub if you don't devote yourself to that role. Reminds me of Spartans and Ninja warriors, and certainly resonates with me.

Where along these two extremes do you fall? Assuming it's one or the other, don't you see room for both? Is a switch really "better", or just more empathetic? Is a true blood dom or sub really any more or less devoted than a switch filling that role? Does experimenting or being flexible by offering to switch pollute one role? That view reminds me of a sleeping with the enemy perspective.

My take on it - I used to wish I was bi-sexual, so that I could have twice as many options (and fun). But hairy bodies and cocks never turned me on. Now I sort of wish I was a switch. Sort of because I'm careful what I wish for.

As Elvis Costello put it, what's so funny about peace, love and understanding?


So, what you're really saying is....you're a "Dom", but you'd switch for the right girl.

(Many....I gotta tell you....you're a fucking giver!!!!!)

no, you're reading into it, as me asking questions as advocating it. i would experiment with it like switch for a day, but no, i'm not a switch, period.

PS edit - you're right, i could be confusing there. i was joking about wanting to be a switch, thus the careful what i ask for thing.

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 4/18/2012 4:13:52 PM >

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/18/2012 4:19:22 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

why should he care what it's like to be submissive?

I'm submissive and I don't really care what it's like to be dominant. It's not my nature and not something I need to experience in life. I know it would not be me.

Would you want to know what it's like to be a girl just because you're a guy dating a girl? I don't know about you but I have zero desire to know what it's like to be a guy.

Would you want to know what it's like to be a fireman or policeman or IT administrator or anything you are not? Unless you want to one day possibly BE that, why would you care?


you're taking the examples really far here. it's a truism, that you can be better at what u do if u understand better what/who your inputs/outputs go to.

sorry, this is kinda hashed out already.


Too far?

I used a similar analogy to littlewonder's "girl dating a guy", myself. It wasn't a matter of an example so much as the same principle. Makes sense that the different wardrobe is likely why women's minds process things differently to men. So if a man dresses as a woman, he'll have insight into what she thinks/feels....

No?

Anyways, if littlewonder and I are both saying it, you must be wrong...!

Focus.


haha, already told u i wasnt into mob rule no matter who it helped (me or u).

it IS true that getting in costume can help you pretend and get into the role. It's called dress rehearsal in showbiz.

but if you're still saying i think a dom can rly think like a sub - again, no. that's taking examples and the concept too far.

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Profile   Post #: 154
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/18/2012 5:32:10 PM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
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From: Toronto, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Nope. In your example there are two coins.

The Dom person and the sub person.


I think I know my own mind vis a vis the structure and intention of my own example. The dom person and the sub person are the SAME person when talking about two sides of one coin...but have it your way.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 4/18/2012 5:33:18 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 155
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/18/2012 6:15:02 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Nope. In your example there are two coins.

The Dom person and the sub person.


I think I know my own mind vis a vis the structure and intention of my own example. The dom person and the sub person are the SAME person when talking about two sides of one coin...but have it your way.

i love all your posts - u articulate very well what i'm usually already thinking!

i know you used a coin for simplicity - and sure enough, that simple 2 sided metaphor for d/s was still misunderstood.

don't you think that this better represents the "sides" of a person?





thinking about what was said about dom's not being able to think like subs, so trying to learn their perspective is utterly useless...i think that's way too narrow and short sighted.

i think what they're really saying is the truism, that one can never truly perceive things from someone else's POV, and any attempt is a simulation.

it was a learning experience here for me, being (not always so gently) guided to realize that people actually think even trying that simulation is being absurd. it seems close-minded, like the broccoli dude.


(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/20/2012 5:27:22 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Nope. In your example there are two coins.

The Dom person and the sub person.


I think I know my own mind vis a vis the structure and intention of my own example. The dom person and the sub person are the SAME person when talking about two sides of one coin...but have it your way.


Well then your analogy is pitifully silly in that case.

But have it your way.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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Profile   Post #: 157
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/20/2012 3:09:12 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Nope. In your example there are two coins.

The Dom person and the sub person.


I think I know my own mind vis a vis the structure and intention of my own example. The dom person and the sub person are the SAME person when talking about two sides of one coin...but have it your way.


Well then your analogy is pitifully silly in that case.

But have it your way.


Ooh; Doms are fighting - and I wanna play, too...!

I think Bhruic is close. In a D/s *relationship* where Dom & sub feed off and complement each other's "opposite" (D or s) power/energy, then yeah, for the purpose of describing that relationship, Dom & sub represent the opposing sides of the same coin. They are the "heads and tails" of the same, greater thing....

But where I agree with crazyml is that what the OP described in the topic opener (Doms who submit vs Doms who don't) does not fit with the coin analogy because both these individual Dom examples can exist without the other. And there are no one sided coins and I said as much in my first post on this topic.

Just to stir the general pot a bit more....
Whether it's guilt/empathy/whatever, I can't help but suspect that a Dom who feels some need to experience submission first-hand is really pseudo switch in denial. I got that vibe from the OP, just as he seems bi curious.

Those who are openly switches aren't necessarily 50/50 into either role. Indeed, my own experience of the (few) switches I've known r/l is that all would prefer a dominant partner *IF* they had a field of choice. In my newbie ignorance, I always imagined the ideal partner for a switch was another switch, but it's mostly not so. That that 50/50 role is just as likely 90/10 - toward D or s per individual.... And that what you can do (switch) is not necessarily what you desire to, re relationship partner.

Hell, every vanilla relationship I've seen has a submissive partner when push comes to shove. One who's mostly content to "go with the flow" and defer to the other on big decisions etc. It's just that those D & s roles aren't structured, agreed or even acknowledged and thus have no enforceable power.

Focus.


_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/20/2012 3:20:41 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Whether it's guilt/empathy/whatever, I can't help but suspect that a Dom who feels some need to experience submission first-hand is really pseudo switch in denial. I got that vibe from the OP, just as he seems bi curious.


bwa hahahahahaha! i love your posts because your perspectives usually surprise me besides being interesting. this time i can't stop laughing! your gaydar and switch-dar are very broken. think of it like this concept - you took whatever i said as a weakness (not that being gay or switch is any more or less strong/weak ala Seinfeld). i.e., being inquisitive and very open minded doesn't equate to being bi curious or weak, as in not dom.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: What's with this great divide? - 4/21/2012 5:55:14 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Whether it's guilt/empathy/whatever, I can't help but suspect that a Dom who feels some need to experience submission first-hand is really pseudo switch in denial. I got that vibe from the OP, just as he seems bi curious.


bwa hahahahahaha! i love your posts because your perspectives usually surprise me besides being interesting. this time i can't stop laughing! your gaydar and switch-dar are very broken. think of it like this concept - you took whatever i said as a weakness (not that being gay or switch is any more or less strong/weak ala Seinfeld). i.e., being inquisitive and very open minded doesn't equate to being bi curious or weak, as in not dom.


I think gays are the likely ones to have working "gaydar".... Same way that I become attuned to submissive qualities in certain women (strangers) when seeing them for the first time. That all living things recognise their "own kind" when they see it.... And since I'm no more switch than I am gay, you're likely right (or close) that my respective antennae is broken - or more likely non-existant.

But then, that's not what I'm using. You're the first hetero (?) I've ever come across to say "I used to wish I was bi-sexual" (from your OP).... So pardon me if that statement gave me pause. As does you being a little too defensive about it now. Same principle for your "Now I sort of wish I was a switch" comment from the same OP.

Look, either (bi, switch) is no big deal to me if you are or aren't. But it's not my life experience that people spend time pondering that which they have no affinity or interest. I'm merely commenting on what you're seemingly projecting in this topic. And yeah, of course I could be wrong... <shrugs> So go shoot some other messenger.... ;)

Focus.


_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Karmastic)
Profile   Post #: 160
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