Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from "jump"?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from "jump"? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 6:41:54 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		I spoke with a Dom a couple of times on IM, and he (a virtual stranger, quite literally) INSISTED that I call him Sir.  Quite frankly, that rankled.  I give respect where it is due, but I don't much like being told I must call someone by a honorific title if I don't even know them.  There's a difference, to my mind, between a respectful sir or ma'am and a You Are Awesome And I Must Bow Down To You Sir or Ma'am.  If you're my Dom, I'll call you whatever you wish, because that is your right.  If you're A dom who's trying to force a title... I'm sorry, but you come off insecure and pompus as hell.  I won't stick around long.
 
Just my 2 cents.
 
zuma

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 7:03:26 AM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		I am always kind and respectful. Those that demand to be called "Sir" or "Master" really aren't my type. Although I am a sub, I demand a certain degree of respect as well. Once I have a certain degree of respect (and interest) I ask the Dom how he wishes to be referred to and follow his lead. I have several friends that I call Sir but they have earned my respect and I just feel funny using their first name.
 
sub tara

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 7:28:38 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Was that specifically aimed at me?
 
I don't EXPECT anyone but MINE to call me Mistress. I do expect MINE to address others as Sir or Ma'am, but hey he's my slave and I have the right to require certain protocols from him, and no one can question that.

(in reply to zumala)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 7:47:52 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I do not address anyone as Sir or Ma'am, Master or Mistress.  I ask respectfully if I may address them by their first name.  When I have had a Dom, he was the only person I called Master or Sir... smiles.

regards

wanders

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 8:00:32 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I don't talk for long to those that demand to be called Sir or Master. They come off as pompous, insecure, very new, or more of a fantasy lifestyler, and they make me very uncomfortable. Many seem to be trying to put a power dynamic in place and don't even know you and that quickly makes me back away and move on. There are maybe 3 I know real time that I call sir and that's not all the time either, just sometimes. I respect them and they have earned it and are friends.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 8:09:30 AM   
pinkee


Posts: 487
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


i always ask for Their first names and address Them by such.  Anyone who is so insecure He cannot cope with that will leave -- thank Gawd.
 
pinkee

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 9:14:36 AM   
NCSilverWolves


Posts: 123
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		In an e-mail... depending on the contents.. I may reply with Sir...Ma'am... at parties... yes Sir.. yes Ma'am... unless otherwise directed by Wolf.... or requested by said person to address them by their name. But if told it's expected of me... when i'm done laughing.... i'll be polite when I tell them to kiss my ass. 

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to pinkee)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 8:27:47 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


Not just no but OHHH HEEEEELLLL NO. Anyone attempting to force this decorum usually isn't worthy of it.

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 8:41:56 PM   
Badkitty0810


Posts: 223
Joined: 2/18/2006
From: NH
Status: offline 		The only time I call someone I don't know "Sir" or "Ma'am" is when I'm at work.  I deal with the public quite a bit in both of my jobs and there are certain protocols to which I adhere.  However, if someone I don't know demands that I call them "Sir" immediately, I politely tell them that title must be earned.  It's the same if they request to meet me after only chatting for 10 minutes.  Just think of it as a warning bell if someone tries to pull that with you.  

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 9:03:26 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.

LOL, the ones who say to me 'you will address me as Sir or else you can....' get not only a snort, but a good laugh from me also.
Personally, I find people who demand such things to be quite pompous and boring. It's always been my experience that the one's who I do call Sir or Ma'am, are the one's who don't demand it. They are not so uptight about the rigors of their own perceived  protocol, and are quite comfortable with you using their first name.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 9:14:33 PM   
CollaredProperty


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


In my humble opinion the term Sir or Master is given to those I respect and honor. I do not use the words lightly. If they demand it, then I move on, because usually if their ego needs that much attention then it is not worth my time.


_____________________________

slave susan
Under A Collar Of Consideration By Master L
Moved to Tulsa Oklahoma
"BDSM SLAVE ONLY, ALPHA TYPE, PASSION FOR EXTREME EDGE PLAY, IT IS NOT ABOUT SEX FOR ME, IT'S ABOUT TPE"

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 10:27:32 PM   
Flame73


Posts: 49
Joined: 7/6/2004
Status: offline 		Well I am not a Sir, per se, but I am a primarily Dominant individual. I find it highly aggitating when people call Me "Mistress" before I have given them permission to do so, that is a title I reserve for Mine alone. In initial contacts I do request I be refered to as Flame, out of respect for My potential future position.
 
I totally agree that those that "demand" to be call Sir from the onset seem to have a lack of knowledge of the lifestyle or either a lack of self esteem. I don't have to admit I have recieved a few with much ruder suggestions as initial correspondences, but I am a prolific user of the  ban button.

_____________________________

"It's all a a question of mind over matter, if I don't mind then you don't matter."

"It is far more comfortable to exist in Madness, than to hold teniously to sanity riddled with doubts."

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 10:51:40 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		I use the terms "Sir" and "Ma'me" when lack of any other identifiable name is available.  "Sir", are these your car keys on the ground?  "Ma'me" you left a package here.

In an email, if someone identifies themselves with a name or an ID, i will reply using that.  

In the context of BDSM, as i would not appreciate being called "slut" by someone who does not know me, i would think calling someone "Sir" on making initial contact would be meaningless. 

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/5/2006 10:52:18 PM   
xxmstrchasxx


Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		My sub calls Doms Sir and Dommes Ma'am out of respect until she has a reason not too.

I think that was taught mostly in the old school years ago and she has done it since she has been a sub.  I personally don't require anyone to call me Sir even though most do out of respect and I don't expect anyone to call me Master except my sub which she chose to do.

_____________________________

XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 2:49:37 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Respect is earned, yes. However I advise subs to show me who you are, don't make me have to guess. I will show my try personality and you show your true personality, that way we can see if we mesh. Do I "require" terms of respect from a stranger? No. Does respect (or as others have termed politeness) hold my attention and give me better insight? Yes.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:02:56 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		One can be respectful and still not use Sir or Ma'am or any other honorific.  One can also not demand the use of honorifics and still be an ass.

Not saying you are, I don't know you, just pointing out the flip side of your post.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to fldrkhorse)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 5:30:43 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Fair point. No offense meant and non taken.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:07:08 PM   
melnkolybabydoll


Posts: 39
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline 		Sometimes i call a self-proclaimed Dom Sir, sometimes i don't.  If it is demanded from a stranger, i ignore them.  If it is politely requested, i consider it.

On a parallel note, my husband and i have always called each other by name, not "mom" and "dad", when around our kids.  Is it any wonder that when they were very young, the kids often used our names instead of the role which we filled in their lives.  This drove my own mother crazy until i politely informed her that as long as what they called us was spoken with courtesy, it was acceptable.  Afterall, they could say "mom" or "dad" with as much disrespect and contempt as they could anything else.

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:28:50 PM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		The only man I will  refer to as "Sir" who doesn't own me is a cop who is contemplating giving me a ticket.

It works. If the cop is a man. If it's a woman I pay the ticket.

Not fair.

(in reply to melnkolybabydoll)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:37:05 PM   
Dozhee


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'm another who was taught to use sir and ma'am as a courtesy. While I like it when others say ma'am to me, I would never demand it (outside of a PE relationship... and if I had to demand it, I'd have some thinking to do anyway). For written communication Ma'am with a capital M has a specific, defined meaning, and while I don't get miffed if it's used, I will redirect if it's use is inappropriate (for me).

Anyone who demands honorifics looks crass to me.

On the other hand, with a playmate I once had, I could say
"You, sir, will do xyz ... "
and it created a juxtaposition that amused me and sometimes flipped switches for him.

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from "jump"? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078