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RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:46:26 PM   
BrattyBottomRN


Posts: 73
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline 		I really only am calling the One who has collared me Master... (or Daddy)... but it's a title he earned and I chose to call him.  I wouldn't just automatically call someone anything they demanded.  Fuck that!

(in reply to Dozhee)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:48:24 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Hello kimmysue,

I think something like this really comes down to the person.  I personally do not randomly bestow titles upon people, just because someone wants me to.  I do not, however, tend to get upset if they request or even demand it of me.  It's not something that upsets me.  If someone I do not know who identifies as a Dominant or Master asks or demands me to call them Sir or what have you, I explain that I do not personally subscribe to that sort of nomenclature, especially at such an early stage, as it would mean absolutely nothing to me and would be superfluous.  I also add that they certainly have every right, given that I will not be indulging their request, to not speak with me again because of that point.  Most of the time, there is not a problem with that, and when there is, they usually do decide that I am not the sort they wish to speak with anymore... which is something that is usually best to find out sooner rather than later.

That being said, if I place myself in milieu, like a Gorean forum or some place where certain protocols are stipulated from the outset, well, then I have made the choice to 'play by those rules', and behave accordingly.   That as well,  is not something that upsets me.. .I liken it to taking your shoes off before entering the home of someone who's follows the Japanese traditions ( or has a mania about their carpets!), or covering my head at a service in a very traditional church, etc etc... I always have the option of not placing myself in a situation or venue which would make require me to do something I am not comfortable with, as I see it.

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:51:49 PM   
txpet


Posts: 200
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		i don't use the term Sir at all when i am not getting paid (i worked retail for years ::wink::).
Well, let me correct myself ... if Someone has a profile name or signs an email with "Sir ___" then i may very well address them by that ... however, i do not use the term Sir in addressing Doms.

Master is Master and if i do not address Him as Sir, why would i address any other Dom as Sir?

Then again, i grew up in a family that thought "Yes, Sir" was sarcastic and rude.

i DO try to be polite.
i don't think it is the words that are as important as the tone.

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 4:53:14 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


I call people, whether lifestyle or not, Sir and Ma'am out of politeness. Maybe it's my age, but to me it's the polite way of interacting with other people.

If I am in a lifestyle event, I will call everyone Sir or Ma'am whether they are Dom/me or sub/slave. It's *polite*. BUT if I am aware that the person I am speaking with is Dom/me there will be a tonal difference in how I say "Sir" or "Ma'am". I will give them respect because of their position. Even if I think that they are more of a "Domly Dom" or "Uber Domme" I will speak to them with respect. I have learned that my opinion of someone may not be the same as that of the Dom/mes that I know. Sometimes they have reasons to respect someone that I am unaware of and, when I learn the whyfore's, my respect returns.

Besides, since I am looking for a Dom, I'd rather err on the polite side just in case this is the ONE.

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 5:07:48 PM   
WikedUncle


Posts: 45
Status: offline
quote:

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


Sometimes, submissives will take it on themselves to call me "Sir" from the start. I remind them that, since I have no relationship with them and have done nothing to earn their respect, calling me "Sir" is a thing they do for themselves, not for me.

Everywhere, except inside the minds of weak people who demand titles, respect is something one earns. Heed your instincts: they're perfectly on target.


_____________________________

"A man who can express himself in song need not express himself in suicide."

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 6/6/2006 5:19:33 PM   
AngelicPuzzle


Posts: 88
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		Feastie both of your posts were something I've said to a number of DOM's who insisted I address them as Sir.

I always refuse to address someone as Sir until we have an agreement.  To me is a title of Honor and Respect that is reserved for the ONE I am serving - and once there is an agreement I will not address another as Sir/M'am unless I am directed to by him - he is the only who has the right to require that of me - no one else.

I will ask them if they have another way that I can address them and remain respectful in their eyes. Many times its the first letter of their name in uppercase - thats fine and I don't have a problem with it.  If they have still have a problem after I've given my explanation - well nice talking with you but cya!

Its my stance and anytime I have given in and addressed someone before we had an agreement it was a battle the entire time as I resented their initial demand.  Now I stand even firmer on it.

Until collared it is my choice no differantly than it is theirs - once collared he can require I address him or others by whatever name it is that pleases him and I will comply :)

Mystery

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All is Well.....it Really Is! :)

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 6:46:29 PM   
Sallamanda


Posts: 7
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline 		This has been a great thread for me, I feel uncomfortable addressing anyone as Sir/Master/Ma'am, etc straight off - in my family calling someone Sir is usually done when someone has just been a complete twit and so will be addressed e.g. "Would you mind every so much removing your gigantic behind from my bag dear Sir?", etc, etc. So for me it's more a mockery and I often accompany it with a florid bow lol.

If I respect someone then Sir will come naturally and beyond that Master.

(in reply to AngelicPuzzle)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 6:56:45 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

 ...I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


this slave finds it interesting, just as she does all the "scene"/"screen" names folks come up with to be "known" by, either here or in RL.  just about everyone this slave meets, has some sort of alternative name, other than their own, associated with themselves, either at the munch, playspace or online.  some are actually kind of funny, and therefore bring joy to those they interact with, if you can appreciate the humor in it at all.
 
some guys are fond of "Lord" and some of the chicks like "Goddess"...so what?  this slave thinks the confidence in their demanding to be addressed like that is hot, and would call them whatever they wish to be referred as.
 
then again, this slave is a "people-pleaser" type, so go figure!!!  her philosophy is, most often, "if it makes them happy, so what? it's all good."

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 7:25:12 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		* fast reply*

I won't call just anyone Sir. There are only three men that have been in my life I will call Sir and I still call them that. One is my Sir that owns my heart, soul, and body. One is a good friend of mine that I respect a great deal and I don't call him Sir all the time either.  The last was my first play partner. We don't talk much anymore, and its very rare I call him Sir, but I will when the mood strikes me.  So, besides saying yes Sir to someone being polite those are the only people I call Sir.

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 7:44:08 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i didn't call Daddy "Sir" when i first met Him ...didn't call Him Daddy until 4 months later upon accepting Him as Daddy.

i don't call other dominants "Sir", "Master" or "lord uber dom of the most high"

_____________________________

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...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 7:46:11 PM   
lilmisssubmiss


Posts: 284
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline 		dumbdumbdumbdumb

dummmmmdeeeeeddumdum!!

Well actually i mean different strokes for different folks.
I think it's dumb though...i think saying "yes --insert name here--" is just as respectful as saying "yes sir".

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 7:49:06 PM   
scifi1133


Posts: 8529
Joined: 3/27/2007
From: virginia
Status: offline 		As for as I am concerned anyone who calls me sir right from the git go is crazy.

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awwwwwww yeeeeeeeeah
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My heart 10-01-72 / 10-16-09


(in reply to lilmisssubmiss)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 7:49:51 PM   
NormalOutside


Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue
I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.

Then............ don't do it?

Or, I know!  Make a new thread to tell everyone else how you feel about it!  And say things like "Doms who want to be called by a specific name are unattractive and not serious about the BDSMs!"



(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 7:57:06 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		As I state in my profile, I take the use of honourifics very seriously and will not use them toward someone who has not earned them And I earned the right to use them toward that person), nor will I allow someone who has not earned the right to use them toward me to do so.  Someone who demands such a title from the get-go is not for me, nor I them and if they push the issue, they'll be met with a rather surly creature bent on proving to them just how unworthy they are of the term they are and how their demands for such are a gross over-compensation.  Politeness is one thing, behaving as a civilized human being much the same; honourifics are a different thing entirely, imo. 
  Davan

_____________________________

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(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 8:00:22 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		Initially I called my Sir by His first name and when I submitted to Him completely I began to call Him Sir. It feels natural to call Him Sir... He is my Sir, my Daddy, my everything.

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to NormalOutside)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 9:11:32 PM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline
quote:

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go





Call him sir when it means something to you, until than it should mean nothing to him.


_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 9:15:49 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


Since those types of Doms are unattractive to you, then you'll have no problem avoiding them.  We all do what we feel is appropriate for us. 

As for me...i don't consider calling someone "Sir" a big thing.  I worked on a military base where i used the term dozens of times a day until it lost any "special" meaning. 

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 10:22:26 PM   
masterforRT


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/16/2008
Status: offline 		Damn, there's a lot of "toppers from the bottom" here!

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/2/2008 11:23:44 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Generally there is no need to use any formality of designation other than as dictated by good manners and what feels right to you. (No sir Dick Head is not usualluy a good start though).  However from the get go as you refer it when addressing a Gorean Free man he is to be addressed as "Master" and a Gorean Free Woman as "Mistress" IF YOU ARE DRAWN TO THE GOREAN ETHOS. If you are not then Mr is fine and no Gorean Lifestyler worthy of being called Gorean will kick up any fuss if you do not address him as Master when you have no interest in the Gorean Lifestyle. He will be simply an egocentric posseur and not worth your time.

With me, only once we have talked and you have an interest in learning more about me and my home or even have a desire to join us, it would be prudent to address me or refer to me as either Master / The Master or Colonel or The Colonel. Of course you could always use my secular title of Reverent and you would also be correct. (I find some hard nosed Christian folk have issues in refering to an ordained Pagan priest as reverend and so they stay with usually with Colonel.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do you have to call a Dom "Sir" from &quo... - 11/3/2008 3:51:28 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kimmysue

Hi, I was just wondering about other people's opinion's on calling a Dom "Sir" from the get go.... I find it uncomfortable & for those who demand it, I find them very unattractive or serious about BDSM.


I do too, and so I don't do it.
 
If that runs off some great guy, too damned bad.  I sorta agree with you -- someone who insists on this isn't gonna be a 'great guy' *for me* anyway.
 
candystripper 

(in reply to kimmysue)
Profile   Post #: 60
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