RE: whore slut?? (Full Version)

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enigmabrat -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:44:55 AM)

like I said never mind
I was just curiouse about how in one world it could be seen as bad and in another world as good.
thats all I wanted to know.

I have been called slut many times and it never nessaseraly botherd me I just never saw myself as one in the sence of the meaning of the word. that was all I wanted clarified. I really dont need people jumping down my throate



trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:45:43 AM)

In all honesty, i'm not understanding your reaction here.

There have been some very well thought out answers to your question. It's not a -bad- question at all, but it's one with an answer that is very, very subjective.

There comes a time when you just have to let go and understand that some people enjoy things that you do not. Actually understanding the practice isn't necessary, just knowing that it gives the participants pleasure should explain it.

If you need another example, i will expand on one i mentioned previously. i ask you a question now:

You say you are a submissive female. Yet your profile makes it clear that you will not submit to Someone who does not see you as an 'equal'. i don't understand that, please explain it to me.

(Now...here is where i interject preemptively before you actually answer--not that you can't anyway, but i want to make myself clear. i will never understand how a woman who claims to be submissive can expect to be her Dom's equal. That defeats the purpose of submitting entirely. HOWEVER! What i can understand is that is it your preference, and while i may not grasp it...i leave it up to you to make your own decisions. That is the clearest you will ever be able to make it to me, and the same explanation, 'preference', is the clearest any of us will be able to make it to you. We just DO. [:)])



spectreandnectre -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:47:34 AM)

i look at it this way He does whatever He wants to me i am His slut, i do whatever He wishes me to do.  i wouldn't want some man walking down the street to call me a slut but when He does its OK



ownedgirlie -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:47:51 AM)

To some of us, when one calls us something which has a negative connotation, it is very effective.  First, it catches our attention, second, we feel smaller than him (or her).  We feel their power over us.

As some have responded here, being our Masters' sluts signifies we have shed our inhibitions and will do just about anything for them.  It signifies freedom from our previous boundaries.  We are stretching ourselves to think outside what we once considered "normal."

As to your vanilla question - - Vanilla, "kink" or otherwise, no one other that Master refers to me as "slut" and gets a positive response.  I am HIS sllut and his slut only. His personal whore.  I will do anything sexually that he demands of me and that makes it so.  He owns a girl he can count on to always be aroused for him - in his presence, at the sound of his voice, at the mere thought of him.  He knows she will do some extreme activities to please him and will do so willingly and happily, no matter how she is feeling, or what her mood may be.  I am his slut, because I live to please him.  It is endearing to me to be called such by him.  It is important to me to push through mental and emotional walls and hang ups, and give him the pure me, in my most raw form.  The degrading words  help strip me of  myself, my ego...which allows me to give him my core being.



sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:48:16 AM)

enigmabrat,
 
I totally understand where you are coming from. I am not into verbal humiliation at all. I find it annoying when Doms call me anything along those lines.
 
However, it wasn't until I was in my first collared relationship and my former Dom looked into my eyes, grabbed a fist full of hair at the base of my neck and referred to me as "my sweet slut" that I understood this context of the word. For me (and coming from him only) it was a compliment. He was telling me he was pleased with me. Only then did I understand how positively powerful that word could be in the right context. And I was such a proud little slut for him. Enjoying things I only imagined before.
 
I hope this helps you understand that for some it is not negative.
 
sub tara



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:49:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat
I was just curiouse about how in one world it could be seen as bad and in another world as good.
thats all I wanted to know.

One word- perspective.

Why is being naked fine in a nudist colony but shunned in general public?  It's the same act- perspective changes everything.
quote:


I have been called slut many times and it never nessaseraly botherd me I just never saw myself as one in the sence of the meaning of the word. that was all I wanted clarified. I really dont need people jumping down my throate

People aren't jumping down your throat.  But if you want to engage in serious intellectual discussion here, you need to be willing to put your own work into it.



LorgromAndMiskel -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 6:55:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

like I said never mind
I was just curiouse about how in one world it could be seen as bad and in another world as good.
thats all I wanted to know.

Its similar to black people calling each other Nigger (they do not view it as a negative term). But have a white person call the average black Nigger and see the response you get (nearly always negative if not violent). Same thing.



OhBeMyMind -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:05:22 AM)

Gosh I really enjoy reading your posts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

enigmabrat,
Consider the obviously positive connotation you put to the word "brat". My sentiment regarding any "brat" sub is that they are a manipulating, sensation seeking, pain in the ass. Some people see a brat as a playful and "cute". As you say "I'm not looking down on people that like it..." But I'm not concerning myself with understanding it from another perspective. I just avoid any "brats". We suggest you take the same tact. Apply all the positive aspects you place on the word 'brat' and assign them to 'whore' and 'slut'; and you'll discover the "understanding" you seek. Then avoid anyone who would refer to you in that manner. Just like avoiding a specific act, avoiding specific words just requires communicating that "limit" with a potential partner.

A label or a word does not carry any inference. People bring their definition to the table based upon prior experiences and personal feelings. Within a relationship it's no one else's business. The people within it are happy. Self identification is replaced by the dynamic of the relationship. Any words used to refer to the other aren't subject to any outside validity, and don't require it.



enigmabrat -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:08:55 AM)

I wasnt saying that it was bad that others liked being called this

I jsut didnt understand how the same word could be taken so differently

like I said you people dont understand what IM asking so I take back the question



enigmabrat -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:14:32 AM)

Im stupid lets just leave it at that and drop this thred



trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:15:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

I wasnt saying that it was bad that others liked being called this

I jsut didnt understand how the same word could be taken so differently

like I said you people dont understand what IM asking so I take back the question


You are asking how the same word can have two completely different meanings. We understand that. It's been clear from the beginning.

That question has been answered.

In one world, the vanilla world, it is not something that means 'I'm pleased with you'.

In a D/s relationship, SOME people (not all) like it because it means, 'I'm pleased with you', instead of something derogatory.

As LuckyAlbatross pointed out, it all depends on perspective. Let's take another look at a different aspect...something you DO enjoy.

Spanking.

In one world, the vanilla world, spanking is bad. It's a form of punishment for children, and usually looked down upon.

In the other world, the BDSM world, spanking is seen by some as being an act of pleasure, not punishment. It's a different perspective.



timeoutgurlie -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:16:52 AM)

Think of it like this.

When someone uses a word, in a derrogatory way and that is THE ONLY meaning it has...it has power, just that word alone, carries power.  Think of bitch, or "the N word". 

Now, think how women (not all, maybe not even most, but many) accept this word and use it themsleves to proudly describe their character.  Why?  Because when you use a word that has been used against you, and you accept it and become proud of it, it loses it's power to hurt, now, it's become a word with more than one definition, recognized by many people.  I think the N word is the best example, so as with other racial 'slurs', the minute those of us of color took those words and began using them amongst ourselves, they lost that extremely hurtful power (to a degree of course, if used with intent to hurt or degrade, for many it still has that effect).  Now, it's so commonly used that the people who used it to hurt and degrade feel robbed of 'their word for those people'...empowering to "those people", don't you think?

I feel that words like dirty, nasty, slut, whore, even the ever harsh C word, all of these words now have dual meanings.  Word used to describe people like us with 'kinks' and a seemingly 'sexual deviancy', now we've taken these words and made them just as you said, terms of endearment, something to take PRIDE in rather than be burdened with shame, which is what people who don't understand this lifestyle want us to feel, ashamed, worth less than they are.  Now, we've takent hose words and owned them, accepted them and cherish them for a completely new meaning that's all our own.

In time, you may decide you won't attach the stereotypical definiton to the words and you'll enjoy them because of what they bring out in you, and maybe you never will enjoy them and that's ok too.  Just don't limit yourself to a narrow view, think hard about how you feel about certain things and why, and if there's something there you feel guilt for and think of whether you really ::should:: or if you do because others have said that's how it's supposed to be [:)]



CrappyDom -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:23:38 AM)

Some would say "why do you hurt people you love"...cause some of us find it hot.



trippingdaisy -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:24:27 AM)

Hah. It IS hot.

Good answer. :D



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:34:32 AM)

It's like the word fag was once used to insult someone who was gay. The gay community took the word and put pride to it. They said "It's not an insult because I don't feel anything is wrong with being gay."

Then it lacks the power to injure you and the people who want to insult you have lost their power.

Women were once called slut to shame them for liking sex. So we take on the meaning and say "Yes, I like sex, and that's a good thing, and I'm proud of it!"

When a dom calls a sub a slut, he is saying he recognizes and approves of her/his uninhibited sexuality.

This may not work for you, but perhaps this helps clarify it?



impishlilhellcat -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:35:32 AM)

Hrrm I've always loved being called Daddy's lil slut.. fuckslut etc...It doesn't hold the typical definition for slut at least not in my mind. To me it's always sort of represented the closeness I have to the Dom/Master and how I am able to offer all that all I am including all of my body to the one I am serving. I am able to overcome all inhibitions and reservations. Also it just makes me smile to know that he has branded me as his with just a few words as someone stated about saying "your MY slut" etc...



sabswife -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:44:59 AM)

its just the way it is.  for me being called a slut would be degrading,. as i said in another post, i don't see myself as a slut or whore, i simply see myself as sexual.

what you have to think of it this... for example.. some people have a foot fetish... i simply see stinky feet that people walk on.  i dont get it  but it doesn't make the fact that they have that fetish wrong, its just not for me.

the same applies to name calling.  to each their own :) 

people don't need to understand to accept or respect other peoples choices, everyone is different.



Tamerofwild1s -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:47:43 AM)

I don't know if this helps but if you look at the lifestyle in general it has always and in some areas still is taken as a negative thing .... hell some people are still called freaks . when I use terms such as slut and whore .. it's used affectionately .... or part of a power exchange ... if you have issues with these things it is simply something you need to relate to your future Dom that you have issues with .. also . it could be that your sexual awareness shall we say . or lack of kinda puts a negative connotation to it. I know plenty of women who will tell you yes . I am a slut . so if they are why should they feel offended by being called it .... slut is someone who enjoys sex . HELL . I am a slut .. lol .... once the virginity is broken you may soon realize that you like sex too and feel comfy with being called a slut or whore .... but make sure you give that gift to the right person enigma. all I can offer is to relax and go with the flow . if the flow bothers you go in another direction that doesn't offend you



OhBeMyMind -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 7:53:00 AM)

and a damn sexy one at that!!  [;)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tamerofwild1s

 HELL . I am a slut .. lol ....



pinkee -> RE: whore slut?? (6/5/2006 8:04:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

why is it that in this life style beeing called a whore or a slut is a good thing. I have had many prespective Doms call me that as terms of endearment and it turns me off completly why do such nasty words have to be used as per names in this life... think of what the words me and I know I am neather of them. I dont sleep around or show off my body in fact Im shy and yes I am a real life virgin. I Hate beeing called these things and I dont get why Doms feel it is nessesery. I am like the most monogamus person ever and I dont get why one would call me these things that I am so aparently not??

please someone clarafy this need for me


i correct Them the first time; if it happens again, i leave.  These words are not "terms of endearment" to me and any Man who cannot control Himself/respect me on s'thing this minor is not for me.
 
pinkee 



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