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RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 9:53:54 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's hard to respond to posters like the OP, who come in with set idea od what "women" are like, then get peeved when we dont act that way. When they start getting nasty, any sympathy I might have evaporates.

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:02:09 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		But Hibby, can't you see it's our fault for being real and not inflatable? Maybe we should have "And how may I dominate you today, Sir?" programmed into our speech?

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:09:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Does that involve asking for permission? I am REALLY bad at that...

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:10:48 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Does that involve asking for permission? I am REALLY bad at that...


You just have to try harder, after all it's really all about how much sex the subbie gets! (and my damned sarcasm button is hiding again)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:11:40 PM   
focalss


Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's hard to respond to posters like the OP, who come in with set idea od what "women" are like, then get peeved when we dont act that way. When they start getting nasty, any sympathy I might have evaporates.


I was respectful to everyone until Constancze said I was disrespectful and I called her on it.  To rephrase what others have said they don't want, I am not a doormat.

To quote you I'm not sorry.  Your interpretation that I am peeved is wrong except for those who have insulted me or perhaps you feel I haven't been insulted and I feel differently.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:22:37 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		You dont have to be sorry. You're fully entitled to want what you want, too. I dont have the impression that you really want a dominant woman so much as a fuckbuddy who will play games with you. Honestly, that's much easier to find.

And calling LC a hyprocrite for explaining the life choices she's made? That's nasty, and judgmental besides. A relationship is successful if all parties are fulfilled. That they might not be fulfilled in the same way as you isnt cause for condemnation.

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:34:32 PM   
focalss


Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		C maybe your friend and you are welcome to defend her. She lowered herself to insulting me mentioning inflatables and other things before that.  So she can't take irony or sarcasm from me after she insults me and is whining about me and yes I am being nasty to her now.  Since she likes intelligence she should appreciate the lesson in sarcasm if she understands it.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:39:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: focalss

You know I am going to put this out here.

We don't have a different view of what service is we have a different approach to life.  Submission is a big emotional investment to me to put it in economic terms also.  To be with a woman and submit to her when she disdains submissive men, doesn't have sex with them, has her own partner, all that is a dead end.  Maybe I could be with married women but I choose not to.  To be all in with a dominant and not have sex with her is a dead end to me.

Might I make a suggestion?  Don't ever try poly.  I'd also probably add that you should not enter any dynamic that is specifically service based.

quote:

To the men and women who are in a marriage where they are not fulfilled sexually there is a problem there.

I wouldn't venture to say just how many people out there are in a partnership or a dynamic where the other person has exactly the same sex drive in regards to level of frequency.  That doesn't mean that people aren't fulfilled. 

I'm still of the mind that we should look at the person as a whole when it comes to things like sex.  There are definitely life issues that can change the frequency.  That's true for both men and women. 

quote:

To comment on the reversal of gender roles, the women here seem to be able to compartmentalize sex and dominance in the way men typically compartmentalize love and sex.

That's a possibility.  I think you'll find more F/m dynamics that don't include sex as you will M/f ones.  There is a segment of male led relationships where the female submissives who will say straight out that part of their submission includes sex whenever the male Dominant wants it.  You won't find many female Dominants agreeing to the same. 

quote:

To Akasha, I often read your stories.  To hear you get orgasms from femdom activities proves to me it is sexual for you just as it is for me.

I know she answered you already, but I'm adding the second vote.  As a sadist, I can get off on expressing sadism, but I wouldn't exactly classify it as a sexual orgasm.  The shudder that she describes is very accurate.  It is very hard to explain if a person hasn't experienced it.


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to focalss)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:48:23 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I'll chime in here from an Mf perspective.

I have a very high sex drive. Master's sex drive isn't as high as mine. He chooses when we have sex. Sometimes the sex involves him getting to cum, but I don't.

In any other relationship I'd be as frustrated as hell. In this relationship - that doesn't happen.

Why?

Because my lack of orgasm is a physical demonstration of my submission to him. I'm doing him a service by not having an orgasm. It's what he wants, and I'm willingly do it for him.

Now here's the kicker. Although I don't get to orgasm, I do get an absolutely wonderful feeling inside when he orgasms. A kind of warm, fuzzy glow that lasts for hours. I can't explain it as beautifully as Alecta's Domme orgasm, but for me my glow transcends orgasm. It's a more intense, durable feeling than the fleeting pleasure of orgasm.

Maybe that's why people in intense D/s or M/s relationships where the sub/slave has a higher sex drive than the Dominant partner can enjoy a fulfilling sex/emotional life without the sex.

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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 10:51:34 PM   
focalss


Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Might I make a suggestion?  Don't ever try poly.  I'd also probably add that you should not enter any dynamic that is specifically service based.

Message received

I think you'll find more F/m dynamics that don't include sex as you will M/f ones.  There is a segment of male led relationships where the female submissives who will say straight out that part of their submission includes sex whenever the male Dominant wants it. 

I must be getting better at this posting thing because you are starting to agree with me and see my point or I have convinced you about what I was originally talking about.


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 11:01:02 PM   
focalss


Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		OK, just thought of this re poly, I am very open to FFF... /m

:)




(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Sex - 4/26/2012 11:28:04 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: focalss

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's hard to respond to posters like the OP, who come in with set idea od what "women" are like, then get peeved when we dont act that way. When they start getting nasty, any sympathy I might have evaporates.


I was respectful to everyone until Constancze said I was disrespectful and I called her on it.  To rephrase what others have said they don't want, I am not a doormat.

To quote you I'm not sorry.  Your interpretation that I am peeved is wrong except for those who have insulted me or perhaps you feel I haven't been insulted and I feel differently.



I call BS! You said I'm exploiting men if I dominate them without having sex with them, only shows that you are so concentrated on your dick, that you can't even imagine that others don't feel the same way. As I told you, I am not forcing guys to submit to me repeatedly they do it out of their own free will, because they also get something out of it (or else they hardly would do it) and they know well in advance that they're not penetrating any of my orifices. According to you I don't respect them. Again a stupid assumption on your part, I respect them a lot, they are honest enough about their desires (and they don't dress up "I want to be fucked" with "I am a submissive and women just have a low sex drive" - darling, if they have a low sex drive, it's YOU, they're possibly happy to fornicate like bunnies with a guy they really desire), yeah, I respect them so little that I also consider them friends - but I don't think you know what that is anyway. Not saying that you don't have a friend, but your best friend is possibly in your pants and does your thinking for you.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to focalss)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 9:26:29 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I do wonder what point the op was making by emailing me telling me the ice cream had melted. So? And? What would be the point of such an email? Could it have something to do with his cone is gone and I am still insane? 

On certain occasions when there has been a huge misunderstanding on the forums, I do think there is a place for contacting someone from the forums and go to email to work it out. However, there wasn't such a misunderstanding on this thread between the op and myself that it would require working things out and the email didn't seem to have the purpose of working anything out. OP, if you have something to say to me, you can say it here, unless you are going to put some meat and potatoes into an email that would be worth something more than maybe a taunt. So keep what you say to me here on the forum, get to some meat and potatoes or earn a block for one liners and possible motivation I don't appreciate.

Rather than hear the main message I was trying to impart in my posts here, which is, that if you come in armed, accusing women of things that they and their partners don't recognize in them in their relationships and set on an agenda, motivator or what women are, rather than understanding them... no matter what they say on the matter, you continue to keep your opinions as they are... why did you ask and why are you in my email?

I tried to tell you that I love sex... and plenty of it and what in part might prevent it. Someone judging me before he knew me, based on prior women, experience or faulty perceptions on women as a whole, isn't getting near me... I have no interest in working out the little problem I didn't cause and proving myself in any manner so that we can have sex. I can get sex any time I want it if I want a guy like that. I want more.. I want it all and the guy that gives me all... all of him and his life experience, wisdom, humor, easy going attitude and heart... well he can have as much sex as we want to have.

The thing is OP, there are women to some degree out there wanting the same thing you do... but are you turning them off with your attitude and the expression of it?


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(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 6:16:39 PM   
focalss


Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I do wonder what point the op was making by emailing me telling me the ice cream had melted.

The thing is OP, there are women to some degree out there wanting the same thing you do... but are you turning them off with your attitude and the expression of it?



You know, I did appreciate your comments.  I thought the ice cream cone was just a funny little joke I didn't want to post.  My clothes comment also wasn't understood either.  That's the way it goes sometimes, people don't understand what you say and it gets blown out of proportion on the internet.

However, I did find one of the posters insulting.  A lot of the women are saying I have assumptions about other women.  Yeah I guess I do, and everyone else has assumptions about a lot of things and read things into what I said, and let me tell you virtually no one gave my question the benefit of any other interpretation than what they themselves criticized.  None of my assumptions was that out of line when I wrote them and yet I got jumped on for making some statements in my question.  Lady Pact ended up agreeing with me in the end.

So what is the result, I can see why this site has gone down.  You can't eliminate people in a relationship when you do a search or some other categories.  People have their friends and feel free to insult someone for asking a question and make jokes about it, not that I really care about someone's tasteless remarks about me when they don't know the slightest things about me not and lack the understanding about what those remarks say about themselves. 

Another result is that I did get an answer, from those who posted here that the dominant women don't have sex with submissive males.  Yep, its been said before.  Is that a generalization of the comments, Yes.  It this a representative sample of all dominant women everywhere, maybe and hopefully not.  Is it representative about this site, unfortunately I think it is.  So if you are a single guy looking for someone don't waste your time here or just look for someone here to play with or pay.  So as a result I know better and will spend less time here because the jerks ruin it for everyone else.

Also don't bother to send a quick harmless note to someone that you think is funny that the ice cream melted because it will be misunderstood.  And from reading your profile Lockit you seem like a nice person.



(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 9:21:11 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: focalss


Another result is that I did get an answer, from those who posted here that the dominant women don't have sex with submissive males.  Yep, its been said before.  Is that a generalization of the comments, Yes.  It this a representative sample of all dominant women everywhere, maybe and hopefully not.  Is it representative about this site, unfortunately I think it is.  So if you are a single guy looking for someone don't waste your time here or just look for someone here to play with or pay.  So as a result I know better and will spend less time here because the jerks ruin it for everyone else.




Time to call BS again! Nobody said that, I said that I don't have the desire to have sex with somebody I just dominated, I even went through great lengths to explain that I am in a relationship and sex is something I have with my PARTNER! If you wouldn't be so focused on getting laid, maybe you would be able to read what was said.

Oh well, yeah blame everybody else and don't let the door hit you...


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to focalss)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 10:23:56 PM   
focalss


Posts: 164
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Time to call BS again! Nobody said that, I said that I don't have the desire to have sex with somebody I just dominated, I even went through great lengths to explain that I am in a relationship and sex is something I have with my PARTNER! If you wouldn't be so focused on getting laid, maybe you would be able to read what was said.

Oh well, yeah blame everybody else and don't let the door hit you...



I will try to stop responding to your posts after this.

You don't have sex with someone you dominated.
You have sex with your Partner.

Thats what I just read.  My "interpretation" is that you don't have sex with submissives.

Next, what I originally said in my post is that I consider this a sex site.  I think most people think BDSM is sexual.  Just like most people except for an army of lawyers and a certain public servant said that a blowjob isn't sex. 

Somehow my conclusion is that on this thread the consensus of dominant women is that DS is not related to sex.  I also think that is what you said.  Now follow my logic.  I think the majority of people in the world would say its about sex and disagree with the dominant women who responded to this thread and said it's not about sex just like most people would say a blowjob is sex.

Next, yes I do like to get laid.

Next, you and your friend decided to call me names because I like to get laid.

One of my problems is that I have a masochistic urge to respond to people who want to pick a fight with me.  When I don't reply to your posts if you make any to this please don't take that as my agreement with you.  If you say something about me that I don't like and I do break down and reply then I won't be this polite again.



(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 11:06:52 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

Ya know, ... I had a reply half typed out and then I realized that it was only half done and already too long. So, .. I deleted it.

It seems to me that the OP has his panties in a knot (yes, this is mean of me .... ohhh, soooo mean!! - pffft - to bad) because there are some women who seek to get payed for play and won't fuck him. ....or who will play with him but won't fuck him. .... or who will have a relationship that includes fucking but not with him. To me this is why he has made the irrational demand of him getting sex whenever he wants from his Dominant. Hell, even vanilla women don't always want sex whenever their partners do and often say no. A woman (vanilla or otherwise) who puts out whenever 'her man' wants her to is usually considered pathetic and it is definitely not a trait of many Dominant women.

Because of this he has decided to fall back on the crazy stereotype that Dominant women don't like sex. He has been told we do. He has been told we do with our partners. He has been told we do with our submissive partners. He is choosing to be obtuse so he doesn't have to look at himself.

Temper tantrums are for children OP - I suggest you get over your BS, listen to what the women on this board of told you, forget your preconceived notions and just deal with the reality of your situation. If you are seeking a relationship with a Dominant woman then realize she will be in charge. If you want to have sex whenever you want then I suggest you get used to paying for it. You can't have it both ways - a relationship and not taking into consideration the feelings of your partner (or the idea that she calls the shots if you agree to a F/m relationship). If you don't want a relationship with a Dominant woman ... why exactly are you here?

Wickad

Please flame away ... I can ignore you!

(in reply to focalss)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 11:12:14 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: focalss

Re Clothes: I don't get how a woman can "feel" about every little things such as wearing a color or a dress as opposed to just getting dressed in something nice.



I'm going to guess you're the kind of guy who just picks up any ole thing that looks clean and just makes sure your hair is clean and you don't smell.

Some women <like me> like men who are just as picky about details, colors, cut, etc...of their clothing and looks.

As for sex...yup, I like sex just as much as some men. Sometimes I don't. Yup, Master can have sex with me anytime he wants. Does he? Not always...why? Because he loves me and takes me into consideration.

Then there are times when I beg for sex and he denies me.

Just because a woman may deny you sex doesn't mean she doesn't like it just as much as you. She's just not as focused on it. Women usually have other details in their lives that take up just as much time in their lives. Some men do too. Imo, if a man can't ever get sex off his mind, it leads me to wonder if he has any other hobbies or occupations in his life.


ETA: just read some of your posts and imo....you're not a service sub. You're a bottom. You have expectations when you serve...like sex, so that tells me you clean, cook, whatever because you want to have sex....it's a tit for tat exchange. When I serve Master I expect nothing in return. When I do get something in return, it's a nice surprise which makes me smile and a nice added bonus to my day. I do what I do for him because it makes me happy to do things for him....that's it, nothing more. For me it has zero to do with sex. Then again we're M/s and not so much D/s which for me is an entirely different genre.




< Message edited by littlewonder -- 4/27/2012 11:18:30 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 11:27:24 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: focalss

Re Clothes: I don't get how a woman can "feel" about every little things such as wearing a color or a dress as opposed to just getting dressed in something nice.



I'm going to guess you're the kind of guy who just picks up any ole thing that looks clean and just makes sure your hair is clean and you don't smell.

Some women <like me> like men who are just as picky about details, colors, cut, etc...of their clothing and looks.


I wear plaid shirts sometimes. (I'm from Seattle! And I was a logger, till tendinitis set in.) But I would never wear a plaid blazer. Would anyone? Is it because of the way it makes you feel?

Hey, I have a Himalayan Toque that is genuinely silly, but incredibly warm. I'll wear that, and feel the other guys are jealous, if it's cold enough. But no plaid sportcoat.

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Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Sex - 4/27/2012 11:38:59 PM   
VanessaChaland


Posts: 362
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline 		I only do this for sex. What other reason could I possibly want to put the energy, effort and time into it for, other than pleasure?

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If you want to know more about me and my interests, Google my name.

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Profile   Post #: 80
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