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ResidentSadist -> RE: Dominants to be leaders, teachers? (4/27/2012 7:24:30 PM)
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Dear RedMagic1 (and readers),
It seems to me that the BDSM society on the local levels, not the nationally or regionally organized events, but the public local entry point for newcomers, like munches, meetings and local dungeon parties is in a state of change. Like Jello in the fridge that is still mushy and hasn't found its shape yet. I too hope the mold for this new whatever-it-is comes up with some heart. I hear more and more reports from all over the US a new mindset is becoming the norm at munches. Yet the national and regional organizations still hold a leather heart at their core. I’ll touch on that again at the end.
I think that roots, as in our roots, those roots and protocols that the leathermen gave us, the roots that the panexual crowd applied to all sexual preferences, are something anything new should sprout from. Instead I feel like the new leather crowd has hi-jacked the BDSM monicker and cast out our roots and protocols like some cheap knock-off and lost the quality of the original. When I see discussions knocking using normal polite manners or protocols, which are the disciplines in the D from BDSM or I read an errant wiki entry that says D/s stands for the DS in BDSM . . . I want to puke. Who are these hi-jackers? How dare they rewrite our leather history on the internet, bury the leathermen and raise Castle Realm to the status of inserting D/s into BDSM. D/s is a subset not part of the founding fathers! How dare they bastardize it and take our acronym.
When a newcomer thinks a leather education consists of asking some dude who runs Castle Realm a BDSM question it annoys me. Then that guy answers with 14 sock puppets and the person reading it believes him . . . becoming the root of disinformation. Trust me, he and that website were drummed out of the corps for a good reason (directed at readers, not you. I know you know the story behind Castle Realm).
Like Hibby, I took that teacher/mentor target off my back a few years ago. However, show me something with some heart, and like the song says, I'll lend a hand.
Until then, we have to deal with insta-doms that get their insta-knowledge by asking questions in forums like these. And that insta-knowledge came from places like Castle Realm, posted by other noobs trying to look smart by having an insta-answer. How is a newcomer supposed to ferret out an insta-knowledge post from someone that actually lived it when this forum allows post count ranking and trolls to run free unmoderated or banned? At Fet it's no better, they mod their own threads/groups. How do you help someone into the fold on the internet when your voice is drowned out by trolls no matter where you go, here or FL?
Until a newcomer gets off their insta-ass and stops seeking insta-knowledge to read a book or get a mentor who has community credentials . . . they will just get insta-BDSM, which apparently comes with a big D/s in the middle of it nowadays. So to you newcomers reading this, go read a book. At least it was written by someone who . . . well, was smart enough to write a book. No sock puppets required.
Just take that post by Awareness as an example. The fact is we are products of our environment, whether taught or influenced. He says “rip away” to reveal the inner dominant? Rip away what, your conditioning from your environment. . . oh wait, so he is saying you can be taught or conditioned. How can he also say he is "scornful of the concept of dominance as a learned attribute or something which can be 'taught'"? Are we really supposed to believe we are being conditioned only to the degree it suppresses our true human nature of being dominant... but only if we are dominant in the first place? Wouldn't a true dominant nature resist conditioning? Seems like someone just wanted to make a post that looked like he has an answer. How the hell is a noob supposed to sort that shit out. Well, as an ex mod on another forum, the noobs value comments by poster's ratings. Awareness has a post count of 1200+, he must be an expert. That is why we used a voting/ranking system on my old forums.
Imagine this forum if your standing or ranking depended on posting relevant information that was quality ranked by votes. Now to all the newcomers treading down that not yet fully formed new road . . . imagine your local real life BDSM society, their munch and play parties, is a place where a Dom or Master's quality and standing was ranking by his peers and the submissives and other newcomers entered your world by referral with references. That is what Lockit was talking about and that is the Old Road and protocols being tossed out in the name of insta-BDSM. That is what I see missing at the local level in society today... respect for the protocols that helped raise the quality of the leather community, not the quickness of it.
So what's a poor boy to do? Keep in mind what I said about my forum posts being worthless because they cost me nothing, no sacrifice. I met RedMajic1 in real life and he is a quality person. We both had traveled to GreedyTop's wedding. He put his money where his mouth was and flew to Greedy's wedding. That involved his time and expense, real sacrifice. He was present by invitation, the same thing as a referral actually. So I met a stranger that made a sacrifice to be at an invite that he was present at because he was ranked by his peers and invited to the event.
Well you can meter the value of an organization by whether or not they put their money and resources where they mouth is. There are tons of regional and national organizations that sponsor workshops, events, conventions etc. And that is where you can still find quality people who have to sacrifice time and money to attend and expend resources to sponsor it. Real people with a visible vested interest in the leather community.
I am afraid, in this new world on this fast new road, the 15 minute drive to a restaurant for a public munch just doesn't count enough as a sacrifice to discourage the tourists and trolls now that there is no 'code' . . . the old protocol, the 'code of referral' that used to weed them out.
So to RedMagic1, I hope to see you at a convention one day soon my friend. To the readers, I hope you enjoyed my perspectives on quality and the changes occurring. To those paving the way in this new world, I hope you take time away from the fast track long enough to incorporate the best things from BDSM’s roots into your new road.
Best wishes to all,
Kalon Eric
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