Pain Processing

Pain Processing (Full Version)

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Lucifyre -> Pain Processing (5/4/2012 8:39:41 AM)
Mkay so yea... Sunday is Mr's birthday and of COURSE I am gonna be the one bent over taking the smacks (yumminess) However I think we are planning a pretty heavy (more than I am used to) spanking OTK scene...wooden hairbrush, no safeword, hands bound out of the way, his leg across my knees to prevent squirming etc. It is gonna be a pretty stingie nasty burn my ass leave me red and probably a crying mess when it's over kinda thing. I <want> to hate him while it's happening, I know I will hate the spanking itself while it's happening, I am planning on a lot of screaming and probably cussing. Does anyone have any tips on how to best process (or even prepare for aside from a warm up) the pain? It's consentual, I want it, I know it's going to be rough and nasty and I even bought non waterproof mascara LOL But I'd like to get through it all the way without losing my temper (which I'm known to do when I'm hurting that much) The reason it will be a no safeword thing is because I want the scene to end when HE wants it to, not when I think I've had enough, yes I know he will be pushing past limits and that's ok. So, pain processing...any suggestions? Please keep smart assed remarks to a minimum, this is a serious question and not fucking wank fodder so none of that retarded shit some of you pull. Lucifyre

OsideGirl -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 8:56:01 AM)
It sounds weird, but I find chanting in my head distances me from the pain enough to take it. Sometimes repeating the number over and over again in my head.

Lucifyre -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 8:57:27 AM)
my usual thing is rocking...like when I'm on all fours I gently rock back and forth anticipating each impact. Problem is, the position I'll be in I won't be able to rock ;/

DesFIP -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:15:37 AM)
When you say you lose your temper, how does that manifest? If it comes out as you hitting and kicking and he doesn't want to deal with those kinds of primal emotions, then restraints so you can't do that. If it comes out as cursing and words, then a gag to make the words unintelligible. I can't suggest anything to help you process, and I don't think you could learn how in this short a period of time, but you can do things so that you can't act the way you normally act, so he can have the scene of his dreams.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:21:11 AM)
Hey we only pull the retarded shit on newbie menz! Is this going to be some kind of role play where you are acting NOT like yourself? Just checking, since you say you are "planning" on cursing and such... Everyone processes pain differently, and other than remembering to breathe, and knowing that you are OKAY, what else is there? Try and focus on your interaction, and not on yourself.

JanahX -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:26:02 AM)
If there isnt going to be a safeword - then just take it - and hope that you dont end up in the ER.

strangedesire -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:42:03 AM)
It sounds to me like the point of it is that you won't be able to take the pain. If you found some magical breathing technique that let you lay there and take it without a struggle, would that give you what you want? If I were going into something like that, I would make sure that my partner and I had a serious aftercare plan in place. How are you going to get from hate back to loving him again? How is he going to handle it if you get angry at him? Pain is physical. It will suck, and then it will suck less, and then it will go away. I would focus more on handling your (plural) emotional reactions to the pain. What do you want to get out of this? Do you want to feel like a martyr? A cherished submissive? A runner who has just finished a marathon? Is this purely a gift to him, or is this experience of pain a desire of yours, too?

Lucifyre -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:44:46 AM)
No Lady Hib, no roleplay. I cuss a lot when I'm in pain LOL. Breathing through it is actually a good idea, that's actually how I got through labor with my little one with no drugs so yea...simple but didn't even think of it. Des, the gag and bondage are already going to be in place so maybe yea that will deal with the result of the action. I was kind of looking for a way to internally deal with it, but you're probably correct in saying just handle the reaction part of it. Janah, the only way I would end up in the ER is if I ere to do something myself and cause injury (pulling to hard and dislocating something etc) As far as him putting me there, not gonna happen. This is part of why even after 17 years as a bdsm couple we still sometimes have to plan out and negotiate scenes like this. He reads my body and my ques well enough that if I don't tell him not to, he WILL stop...and this time I don't want that, I want him to push past that. A hairbrush spanking (that I am asking him for) will leave nasty bruises, may possibly break some skin and hurt like the all time motherfucker but a the worst thing may be I just need some really comfortable shoes and A LOT of cuddling after I get my head back and dry my tears. Lucifyre

SoulAlloy -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:48:09 AM)
Focus on it, absorb it and spread it across yourself, that's usually how I process it, but then that's how I'm wired... Being relaxed I find helps the process Breathing can help, biting down on something for those wincy hits... Arousal helps too

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:48:38 AM)
It sounds like you have it pretty planned out, and you are with a trusted partner, so I think you have it all under control. To me, the gag/restraints seems a bit much to START with, me, I would work that in as you go, but that is me (and I will always be a spanko at heart so I LOVE this scene!). Ice pack is brilliant for aftercare, and arnica gel.

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 9:49:48 AM)
I'm not big on not having a safeword in place just because other things can come up during play, and it helps to have some easy way to communicate that things need to stop, especially if the set-up is such that saying "no" and cursing and getting angry is NOT going to stop play. Please just consider this from an overall safety perspective, because things can be safety issues that have nothing to do with how much pain you can take. Separate from that, I process the pain by focusing inwards, and this is what allows me to drift into subspace, and then ultimately achieve the endorphin rush I seek. I do need to focus in order to do that, or else at the beginning it just registers as pain that I want to stop - I have to be able to get past that point to get to the endorphins.

Lucifyre -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:05:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strangedesire It sounds to me like the point of it is that you won't be able to take the pain. If you found some magical breathing technique that let you lay there and take it without a struggle, would that give you what you want? I expect to struggle a bit, that's even a part of what I am looking for. I want to get through it, I don't want the anger I know will come because even though I can get past it and recover, anger is a really ugly thing especially in a scene for me. quote: If I were going into something like that, I would make sure that my partner and I had a serious aftercare plan in place. How are you going to get from hate back to loving him again? How is he going to handle it if you get angry at him? Pain is physical. It will suck, and then it will suck less, and then it will go away. I would focus more on handling your (plural) emotional reactions to the pain. he handles my anger really well. There won't be a stop loving him, even if I hate him at the moment, the love doesn't stop so we will be ok and I am not worried about that. As a couple we are super strong, the emotions that will come from a painful spanking are temporary. As for physical aftercare goes, I will be bringing the refridgerated bottle of aloe, some cold wet washcloths, my little blanket to curl up in, my slippers and my cigarrettes. Even after heavy scenes most of the time all I want for aftercare is to be watched to make sure I don't fall down and a nice long smoke, maybe something to drink a little while later. But I suspect the scene we are planning is going to be a bit different so I will be bringing some extra things for just in case. quote: What do you want to get out of this? Do you want to feel like a martyr? A cherished submissive? A runner who has just finished a marathon? Is this purely a gift to him, or is this experience of pain a desire of yours, too? wow, uhm...that's a tough question and I am not sure I can define an answer. Don't get me wrong, there is an answer, I just am not quite able to put it into words. Some of it is an inner strength thing, some of it is wanting to give him something he wants (he is a sadistic SOB to the core) some of it is sexual, some of it is giving up control...the thing is, what I am getting out of it is many things and it doesn't come down to just one or two things so I really can't defne it. BTW, some of the answers you all are giving are pretty simple things...and I am glad you're giving them. Like the breathing and counting, it's funny that neither of those things even occurred to me. I really do appreciate you helping me proccess this through my head because this really is very important to me. So, thank you ;) Lucifyre

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:11:01 AM)
Yeah, we tend to think of scene pain as "different" somehow, but shoot, you've given birth, right? Pain is pretty much pain. I do recommend the ICE because hey fun and it really does help when you've gotten a little.. wacky. (voice of experience---and here's a tip: Never say to someone "it's okay honey, you can hit me as hard as you want to". wheeee! Good times!)

Lucifyre -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:15:36 AM)
FTP< Yes I agree things unforseen can happen during a scene. The way things will physically be set up are going to be relatively simple. Hands bound with rope and secured to the leg of the chair he will be sitting in, me across his left knee with his right leg over my legs, maybe a pillow over his knee to protect my belly and hips, possibly a gag but I tend to spit them out so maybe not. The only implements he will be using are his hands to warm me up and then the hairbrush to finish. He always takes his time during warm up alternating impact with massage. I won't be high enough off the floor to break anything if I fall, I won't be restrained in a way that I can pull or dislocate anything if I squirm to hard, there will also be a DM watching the scene (we will pre request that actually before we start) in case something happens that Mr doesn't see or I can't communicate. My worry is the hairbrush spanking otk is a different type of pain than I am used to. We usually use floggers and cats and multi fall whips....hairbrush is hard wooden stingy ouch FUCK that hurts you bastard type pain. I am almost looking for a punishment without deserving it because that's the type of pain he likes to deliver. I want to be a good girl and take it for him. Lucifyre

kalikshama -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:16:17 AM)
1. For me, "breathing" = deep breathing, which helps ward off the anxiety that makes it harder to process the pain. 2. If it's going to be intense, I like to know how many strokes to expect and to count them. Enjoy!

Lucifyre -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:20:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Yeah, we tend to think of scene pain as "different" somehow, but shoot, you've given birth, right? Pain is pretty much pain. I do recommend the ICE because hey fun and it really does help when you've gotten a little.. wacky. (voice of experience---and here's a tip: Never say to someone "it's okay honey, you can hit me as hard as you want to". wheeee! Good times!) Funny thing that... A few years ago we were playing with another couple in a public dungeon. Mr was topping "The Pigs" gf and "The Pig" was topping me. Here I am about 6 feet away from Mr and the gf when I hear her say to him "You can't hurt me with that" and she giggled. o.0!! "The Pig" (yes that really was his nick name LOL) stops spanking me, pauses a second and says to Mr "Oh, no, she didn't really just say that to you did she?" Of course she was egging Mr on and knew what she was asking for but when he swung and it struck you could have probably heard her yell 3 blocks away LOL. They played without for about another hour. After it was all overwith and she was curled up in his lap I hear her say softly to him "Thank you, I think I hit the moon" :)

Lucifyre -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:21:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama 1. For me, "breathing" = deep breathing, which helps ward off the anxiety that makes it harder to process the pain. 2. If it's going to be intense, I like to know how many strokes to expect and to count them. Enjoy! Errm...at least 46. per hand per cheek per implement LOL Oh boy...maybe I should renegotiate this one rofl I'm in <sooo> much trouble

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:24:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucifyre FTP< Yes I agree things unforseen can happen during a scene. The way things will physically be set up are going to be relatively simple. Hands bound with rope and secured to the leg of the chair he will be sitting in, me across his left knee with his right leg over my legs, maybe a pillow over his knee to protect my belly and hips, possibly a gag but I tend to spit them out so maybe not. The only implements he will be using are his hands to warm me up and then the hairbrush to finish. He always takes his time during warm up alternating impact with massage. I won't be high enough off the floor to break anything if I fall, I won't be restrained in a way that I can pull or dislocate anything if I squirm to hard, there will also be a DM watching the scene (we will pre request that actually before we start) in case something happens that Mr doesn't see or I can't communicate. My worry is the hairbrush spanking otk is a different type of pain than I am used to. We usually use floggers and cats and multi fall whips....hairbrush is hard wooden stingy ouch FUCK that hurts you bastard type pain. I am almost looking for a punishment without deserving it because that's the type of pain he likes to deliver. I want to be a good girl and take it for him. Lucifyre I'm a paddle person myself, but I think you are going to be fine. You know, so much of this is mental preparedness. Have nothing more to say, then...enjoy yourself....[:D]

MissImmortalPain -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:29:19 AM)
Focus on something outside of what is being done to you. Another object in the room with you. Make your mind turn over every little thing about that object until you feel as if you have conected with it on a level that you never have before. Make your mind fall into it and push everything else away. Become part of that object, become one with it. Do that and if the pain gets to a point where you think it might be to much, but don't really want to stop, try to move said object with your brain <not likely to happen but take my word on it that it can make pain seem less than what it is. It can also help you get to that floaty, funky, not really in this world place faster. two cents from the lady that has had surgery without anesthesia Keep breathing, have fun. Good luck.

Lucifyre -> RE: Pain Processing (5/4/2012 10:33:47 AM)
there is no... OH MY FUCKING GOD THERE IS NO SPOON!! <3

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