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RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/14/2012 11:23:53 PM   
subbyinlosangele


Posts: 117
Joined: 1/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servingyou91

I'm feeling sad.

I've been on the search for a couple years (probably more) now and haven't had much luck. Recently I sent in a request to this girl and she read my email. The next day I checked again and she didn't reply and like an idiot I sent another email saying can you give me a shot blah blah. She got irritated and told me she went from liking me to disliking me just like that. I apologized politely told her I'd use it as learning experience and pretty much that I wouldn't bother her anymore.

Did my actions warrant her reaction? I can see opinions to both sides of this question but I'd like to hear what other people think.

P.S. I have an issue with patience. I get super anxious. But of course she couldn't have possibly known that.



1. Lots of people search for years without success.
2. We don't really know her reaction or your action -- a lot depends on the specifics of what each of you said. She shouldn't been rude or cruel; but she has every right to decline to talk to you.
3. I doubt her actions would have been any different if she knew you have an "issue with patience" -- that's not a particularly appealing quality, especially for a sub. You were pushy, and most dommes don't want to deal with a pushy sub.
4. Practice patience. Take meditation classes. Put a note on your computer to not dash off emails in haste.

(in reply to servingyou91)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 12:42:25 AM   
Tyraen


Posts: 21
Joined: 9/23/2010
Status: offline 		At the risk of repeating what has already been (well) said in this thread, you just jumped the gun hard and were much too desperate. Like everyone is saying, people do not like desperate needy people regardless of what they identify as.
You will have to learn some patience and gain some wisdom, and there is a lot of good wisdom to be gained in this thread and I would heed all of it and make it a part of yourself. It will take time but it will be worth it in the end.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 12:54:22 AM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Why in the world would you call yourself an idiot for sending her another email asking for her to give you a shot? Idiots are the people not even bothering to take the shots nor the risk of rejection.


That's just what I was thinking.

Pam

_____________________________

[link] www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlvDnbFOkYY [/link]

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 12:58:03 AM   
Tyraen


Posts: 21
Joined: 9/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Why in the world would you call yourself an idiot for sending her another email asking for her to give you a shot? Idiots are the people not even bothering to take the shots nor the risk of rejection.


That's just what I was thinking.

Pam


I think the issue was the time frame. If he had waited another day or two, and still had not gotten a response, then the extra e-mail would have been plenty justified.

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 12:58:48 AM   
MsGypsey


Posts: 113
Joined: 8/23/2011
Status: offline 		Rejection means you will never have nice things.

No but seriously, move on. Enjoy university, pass your exams, graduate. Explore hook-ups (safely, mind). Live.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 1:14:33 AM   
servingyou91


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Okay, if I seem excessively insulting, I'm very sorry, but, since I don't know what you're really like in real life, this is what I see when I look at your profile.....

A main pic of you standing there grabbing your cock through your boxers, and toys and what looks like the left side of a bassinet in the picture. That makes me think you are just interested in your cock AND that you're married/in a relationship with a baby & looking to cheat.

Plus. everything except for two interests on your interests list to the left are kink-related. You seem cock- and kink-driven, which is more like a bottom than a submissive and bottoms are a dime a dozen where good submissives aren't always easy to find. That's just my opinion of course and your mileage may vary.

Maybe clean up the profile a little bit and add some vanilla interests, assuming that you have some. You didn't say what your letter to the Domme said, but check out the Ask a Mistress FAQ and that should help you in your approach. Good luck.

NBMG


Didn't find this insulting. Took it as constructive criticism.

Got an assignment due tomorrow, after that I'll take a good hard look at my profile and do some fine tuning.

Tbh that photo was pretty much the only photo I had that didn't show my face and that's why I chose it as my dp. I guess pictures really do speak a thousand words. I assure you though this picture speaks false words. I don't have children and I've never been married. I've never had a relationship either but I'm looking forward to one.

Like I said earlier the elmo is a gift from my cousin. I can explain the hand gesture but I doubt anyone would believe my explanation so I'm probably better off just changing it. When I get the time.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 1:43:10 AM   
Notausername


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/19/2012
Status: offline 		I feel you op. I just don't understand why doms have to make messaging so difficult. I can't message a dom without most of them being in a stupid fucked up attitude. If a dom is seriously that fed up with being messaged by so many then maybe they shouldn't have a profile that says they're "seeking" someone or even not have a profile at all.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 1:50:11 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Notausername

I feel you op. I just don't understand why doms have to make messaging so difficult. I can't message a dom without most of them being in a stupid fucked up attitude. If a dom is seriously that fed up with being messaged by so many then maybe they shouldn't have a profile that says they're "seeking" someone or even not have a profile at all.


We should all hide because some guy might be butt hurt that we aren't looking, or aren't looking for you, and that we don't want to be fetish delivery systems... How incredibly inconsiderate of us, write to the Domme board and have our license revoked...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Notausername)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 1:52:45 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zb4JY2mr-_Y&list=AL94UKMTqg-9CjsuBA2PgLoNe5swTex2eK&index=1&feature=plcp

And you can quote me.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:07:44 AM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: Notausername

I feel you op. I just don't understand why doms have to make messaging so difficult. I can't message a dom without most of them being in a stupid fucked up attitude. If a dom is seriously that fed up with being messaged by so many then maybe they shouldn't have a profile that says they're "seeking" someone or even not have a profile at all.


We should all hide because some guy might be butt hurt that we aren't looking, or aren't looking for you, and that we don't want to be fetish delivery systems... How incredibly inconsiderate of us, write to the Domme board and have our license revoked...


LC, have I mentioned lately that I love you? ;)

Seriously though, I'm definitely seeking, but chances are probably 95% or greater that I'm NOT seeking the sub that messaged me. Not saying they are bad or anything, just not what I'm looking for. Well, then again, there are some that are bad I think... like the ones that A: can't read or even glance at my profile long enough to see what I am or am not interested in; B: decide that "Hi, can I be your slave and footbitch, and you can use me as your toilet." is a WONDERFUL introduction; C: just write "Hi.". Those ARE bad.

But I digress.

It's no different than looking for any other relationship. Some people just aren't going to fit with other people. Oh well. Welcome to life. Just because the first 30 aren't interested in you, number 31 might be.

Also, on the fetish delivery system thing that LC mentioned. God damn right I'm not a fetish delivery system. I'm the D-type here, if anyone is going to cater to whims, it's going to be my S-type. Kind of how it works. And although many on both ends of the whip are here just for play, many others are not. I'm sure as hell not. Of course, that's part of the perks package, but that's not what it's about to myself and many others.

And let's be honest, nobody on earth is worth getting that butthurt over if they reject you. Just move on. Because, to be honest, the other person has probably (likely) forgotten about you 3 minutes after saying "no" already anyway.

EDIT To Add:
That being said, I'm not against being messaged by subs, doms, slaves, masters/mistresses, flying monkeys, sea turtles, lumps of wet clay... As long as they can hold a conversation, are literate, aren't just mailing me about their fetishes/looking for wank fodder and understand that even IF I am interested in them it will be quite a few conversations before I would have any inkling to if it would work out. So hell, message me, I love to chat. Just be able to do so as well.

< Message edited by BKSir -- 5/15/2012 2:18:06 AM >

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:11:10 AM   
Notausername


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: Notausername

I feel you op. I just don't understand why doms have to make messaging so difficult. I can't message a dom without most of them being in a stupid fucked up attitude. If a dom is seriously that fed up with being messaged by so many then maybe they shouldn't have a profile that says they're "seeking" someone or even not have a profile at all.


We should all hide because some guy might be butt hurt that we aren't looking, or aren't looking for you, and that we don't want to be fetish delivery systems... How incredibly inconsiderate of us, write to the Domme board and have our license revoked...



Well financial dommes really are hard to approach even when I have the cash. I don't believe there are any dommes out there that would allow me to submit to them for fun without having to pay and if there is I feel like I would have to be super handsome and fit to meet their standards so I don't put any effort into those kind.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:23:00 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Notausername

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: Notausername

I feel you op. I just don't understand why doms have to make messaging so difficult. I can't message a dom without most of them being in a stupid fucked up attitude. If a dom is seriously that fed up with being messaged by so many then maybe they shouldn't have a profile that says they're "seeking" someone or even not have a profile at all.


We should all hide because some guy might be butt hurt that we aren't looking, or aren't looking for you, and that we don't want to be fetish delivery systems... How incredibly inconsiderate of us, write to the Domme board and have our license revoked...



Well financial dommes really are hard to approach even when I have the cash. I don't believe there are any dommes out there that would allow me to submit to them for fun without having to pay and if there is I feel like I would have to be super handsome and fit to meet their standards so I don't put any effort into those kind.


So all of a sudden it's financial dommes - well, they do tend to point that out. As for you submitting to me, do tell me exactly why I should be interested in somebody who whines and complains that nobody is interested in him, when there are a couple of very handsome guys around who happen to be gents (waves to Peon and Subbyinla <sp>) who are great fun to hang out with and talk to on a <gasp, shock horror> human level... So if I would be in the mood to play, just make a guess who I would ask? Wild guess...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Notausername)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:24:27 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

LC, have I mentioned lately that I love you? ;)


You haven't but I shan't hold it against you ;)


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:26:26 AM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

LC, have I mentioned lately that I love you? ;)


You haven't but I shan't hold it against you ;)



My apologies. I've been rather indisposed lately and should keep up on such matters a bit better.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:32:26 AM   
Notausername


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/19/2012
Status: offline 		You seem upset, lady constanze. If I want to whine on a message board about not finding someone to submit too so what?

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:45:58 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Notausername

You seem upset, lady constanze. If I want to whine on a message board about not finding someone to submit too so what?


Not upset at all, because I am not looking, you are... Just telling you that it makes you even more unattractive, as women (like men) don't like whiners and complainers but people who got to offer something, you whine all you want, if it helps you to deal with the fact that the more you whine the more your chances to submit disappear... It's a catch 22

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Notausername)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:48:12 AM   
Notausername


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/19/2012
Status: offline 		right on, thanks for the tip ill seriously take that as good advice.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 2:57:43 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Hey, think about it this way, you're going out on a vanilla date with a girl, she just complains about her life and men, another girl has a good time with you and is a lot of fun - which one would you rather call for a 2nd date?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Notausername)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 3:03:42 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Hey, think about it this way, you're going out on a vanilla date with a girl, she just complains about her life and men, another girl has a good time with you and is a lot of fun - which one would you rather call for a 2nd date?


The first one. The second was an escort and your friends won't keep doing secret whip-rounds to pay for her services forever.


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Just got rejected by a dominant woman - 5/15/2012 3:16:08 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Hey, think about it this way, you're going out on a vanilla date with a girl, she just complains about her life and men, another girl has a good time with you and is a lot of fun - which one would you rather call for a 2nd date?


The first one. The second was an escort and your friends won't keep doing secret whip-rounds to pay for her services forever.



Wow, you must have such generous friends, I only donated £5 to that fund!

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 60
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