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RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 11:53:12 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini
Thanks Jeff, for understanding it can be a fetish and for not passing judgement on those of us that enjoy this type of activity. I think more of someone that can humble themselves to beg, not less.

you're welcome. Honestly, I often find that there is a matching vanilla version for pretty much everything that's discussed in BDSM circles. Typically, the biggest difference is simply the lens that it's viewed through. I got down on one knee and asked for Carol's hand in marriage. Was I begging or asking? Is there a difference? Does anyone care? All I know is doing the deed old-school made her heart go all pitter-pat so hey, I'm good with it. In that same way, if begging for a collar makes someone get all flustered then I don't see the issue.

I think more of people that are actually humble. I don't at all agree that someone begging equates to humility though. In more cases than not from what I read it's really more about kink that humility.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Marini)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 12:15:18 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I think for Master it's more about humility. It's a way of reminding me of being humble when he feels I need that. Then there's also some things he simply won't let me have but I figure if I beg hard enough he'll let me have it...like coffee lol. He says I'm like a drug addict looking for their next high. lol


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 12:35:37 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser
I've already seen some things I expected - the Gor reference, the taste of impropriety; Cali gave a response I respect but then I was also a fan of hers years ago. (I even have an older pic of her, I think...somewhere...)

Yes, and thanks to Cali for the different perspective.  In reading the responses, I was surprised that the majority of the s-types didn't share the same view.  So many went for the hard-line, derogatory, negative connotation of the word.  I've just never seen it in the groveling version that seems like is coming across here.  I've always seen it more in the "asking for in earnest" way.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 2:10:06 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		I would have no problem begging to/for ...the right Lady.

Pffffft.

Why would I...It`s not degrading to....me, just may not get the answer I want.

Then it`s bye...bye I suppose.

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 5:17:49 PM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Yes, and thanks to Cali for the different perspective.  In reading the responses, I was surprised that the majority of the s-types didn't share the same view.  So many went for the hard-line, derogatory, negative connotation of the word.  I've just never seen it in the groveling version that seems like is coming across here.  I've always seen it more in the "asking for in earnest" way.



I would have a very difficult time in any dynamic that required me to beg every time I needed to be taken as sincere. In fact ( again, everyone else's mileage may vary ), adding begging consistently into all conversations requiring earnest discussion would sound pretty insincere after a while.

It's not really a matter of pride so much as practicality ( if begging is required as some day-to-day transactional thing, it could get rather inconvenient and long-winded in everyday life ) or emotional distress ( any relationship where I'm begging sincerely with regularity is a relationship that I'll burn out of quickly ).

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 8:46:52 PM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

I did not see anything written on this thread, that says anything about begging every day, adding begging into all conversations, consistently, or every time a submissive needs to say something sincerely!

What in the world?
When I read the post above mine, I wondered if we were reading the same thread on this message board.




Thanks for the input LadyP, I agree with you, but I am not surprised by the responses.

< Message edited by Marini -- 5/23/2012 9:10:49 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 9:05:09 PM   
bisubpet4u


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Just need a master/mistress to know what they want and beat about the bush

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/23/2012 9:34:51 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini



I did not see anything written on this thread, that says anything about begging every day, adding begging into all conversations, consistently, or every time a submissive needs to say something sincerely!

What in the world?
When I read the post above mine, I wondered if we were reading the same thread on this message board.




Thanks for the input LadyP, I agree with you, but I am not surprised by the responses.


People read what they want to. It's sad, but true. Strangely no one approached the topic from the perspective of a sub/slave initiating the begging of a collar - not to get what they want or due to some lack - of TPE, esteem, you name it - but just to express the depths of themselves to the person they love. I would liken it to Jeff's marriage proposal analogy.

Love used to be messy and unhealthy and loud and impossible, whether that's wrong or not. This should be any better?


Oh well. It's ideals gone wild in an imperfect world. I can feel the social crush and it doesn't hurt, but it makes me sad.


_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to Marini)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 6:59:28 AM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

I did not see anything written on this thread, that says anything about begging every day, adding begging into all conversations, consistently, or every time a submissive needs to say something sincerely!

What in the world?
When I read the post above mine, I wondered if we were reading the same thread on this message board.



I was responding to this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I've always seen it more in the "asking for in earnest" way.[/color]



I ask stuff in an earnest way all the time. I honestly can't remember that ever being begging.


(in reply to Marini)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 7:02:48 AM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		As an aside, begging is a popular kink, I get that. I get that it's something a lot of people like; I don't have an issue with that. My responses in this thread have been addressing begging from my perspective in any relationship I'd form with another.

(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 7:09:39 AM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave

As an aside, begging is a popular kink, I get that. I get that it's something a lot of people like; I don't have an issue with that. My responses in this thread have been addressing begging from my perspective in any relationship I'd form with another.


Thank you for the clarification. I can see why it would colour your view, since what comes natural to you also confines the nature of the topic at hand. But then that's true of all of us, ya.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 9:21:32 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave
I ask stuff in an earnest way all the time. I honestly can't remember that ever being begging.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but by any chance, did you happen to look up the definition of the word?  I know, I know......  It's a three letter word (beg) and everyone knows what it means, but did you notice that Webster's gives that very definition?  To ask in earnest.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 9:24:02 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Begging as a kink is something else. It's for momentary satisfactions, not for the founding of a relationship. At least I can't imagine any relationship lasting that is founded on nothing more than kink.

But as you've seen, most of us need to know that we are wanted equally in order to get into the relationship to begin with. And when you set it up that only one is invested in it, then we don't feel that it is a healthy situation to be in.

And yes, love is messy and loud etc. Emotions aren't neat and clean.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 9:42:40 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Begging as a kink? I love that. Please note I don't love doing it (it's embarrassing); I love being made or compelled to do it.

Begging for ownership, love, or a collar? No fucking way !!

I need to know my love and commitment are reciprocated fully and equally.

Someone said something about Gorean nonsense; that's my take.



_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 9:56:06 AM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Begging as a kink is something else. It's for momentary satisfactions, not for the founding of a relationship. At least I can't imagine any relationship lasting that is founded on nothing more than kink.

But as you've seen, most of us need to know that we are wanted equally in order to get into the relationship to begin with. And when you set it up that only one is invested in it, then we don't feel that it is a healthy situation to be in.

And yes, love is messy and loud etc. Emotions aren't neat and clean.


Fair enough, and thank you for your responses, DesFIP.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 10:03:33 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretiveWoman

I find begging for the love of someone to be quite serious, and the exact opposite of "pathetic" or "unattractive". I find it sad, desperate, passionate and quite human. I call it karmic..... I call it people who ARE people, and behaving as such. How many of us on this good earth will truly stand up and admit to their deep rooted fears about the pain of love denied them by someone they themselves were desperately in love with OR loved deeply, were denied of it for whatever reason and so put up inpenetrable walls with ridiculous rules for one to abide by, instead of remaining optimstic, knowing that it's simply a part of life...... for EVERYONE. We are none of us exempt from this.... I feel those who are courageous enough to express such feeling should be applauded, for they yet and again still express what makes most of us run from in fear.....
I find it interesting that on sites such as this, most will put up with paddlings, floggings, canings, bestiality, and down right beatings til the mention, and INTENTION of love comes to the forefront; then they run like hell from it in one form or another...,



On the one hand, I agree with the above completely, on the other hand, I disagree with the above completely.

Let me try to explain this statement.

Everyone who has reached a certain age has experienced love denied, or love not reciprocated, or love lost. They will find themselves begging (in whatever way) to not have their heart broken. It is part of the human survival mechanism, to do anything to avoid such pain.

Even though you are certain it will never make a difference, you *will* beg, and gladly. You will get on your knees and beg, and then you'll beg some more.

I accept all of the above as part of the human condition when one's heart is breaking.

Now that I've said that, I have to say: breaking someone's heart to know for certain they *really* love you, b/c if they do, they'll beg for it, is not the way you build strong relationships based on trust. Breaking someone emotionally is cruel and inhuman, and if that's what you need to have your dominance "earned" (confirmed), you don't want to know what I think of you as a person. And any submissive who thinks this is what they need to do to "prove" their submission needs a therapist, quick !!

JMO

_____________________________



(in reply to SecretiveWoman)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 10:32:29 AM   
Marini


Posts: 3629
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave
I ask stuff in an earnest way all the time. I honestly can't remember that ever being begging.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but by any chance, did you happen to look up the definition of the word?  I know, I know......  It's a three letter word (beg) and everyone knows what it means, but did you notice that Webster's gives that very definition?  To ask in earnest.



LadyPact, I enjoy listening to a variety of opinions, but I have been on these boards long enough to know, that many people that post here are a long, long, long way of being accepting of different "ideas", "choices" and "kinks".

You asked why many of us prefer to post in politics and religion, this thread is an example of why I primarily stay, and ESPECIALLY post down there.


All I can is as usual, to each their own!
Peace out


< Message edited by Marini -- 5/24/2012 10:46:25 AM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 10:50:52 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Marini, still good to see you up here, though.  

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Marini)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 10:56:52 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am laughing at Marini's comment. People in P & R are ACCEPTING of different ideas? Really?

I do still have the negative connotation with "begging", and begging for a collar? Absolutely not.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Begging & Ownership - 5/24/2012 10:57:07 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have to admit I'm kinda surprised how many are so against begging. I can understand not wanting to beg for a collar....that I completely agree with. But to be against begging of any kind whatsoever? I don't personally see begging as a bad thing. I think it shows humility and keeps one from being proud and from the ego getting big. It makes me wonder about those in M/s relationships particularly. What do you do when your Master won't allow you certain things that you absolutely want more than anything? Just shrug your shoulders and forget about it? Or do it anyway no matter what he says?

I'm interested in hearing more about the opinions of those in M/s relationships. I understand those in D/s relationships which don't really hold the same values.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 60
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