RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom)

RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (Full Version)

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LadyConstanze -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 12:44:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUp Who has a female avatar? Just checking - not I. Not quite sure what you're saying about keywords without knowing the keywords you mention. Ideally being able to un-search words like tribute would at the very least eliminate the majority of frauds from a search. True some pro-dommes use the word tribute legitimately, submissive males eliminating that word from searches would limit pro-Domme visibility; but less so if pros had their own category. Categories are a whole other problem with the site. Pros and lifestylers should have different categories that way everybody finds what they are looking for. I never saw a pro Domme before but I've considered it to increase my training. Meaning that while I'm single I would probably take the time to search for both. And since pros would have their own category, the word "tribute" would go without saying. And since you could un-search the word tribute in a lifestyle Domme search, you wouldn't have to see the fakes. I am saying the thing that shows up on the left side, the little picture of a hot girl next to your posts... Oh have you ever heard that some pro dommes are lifestyle too... and what the fuck are you talking about? How does tribute make somebody a fake? You pay tribute even if it is not in coin, if you are looking for somebody who fulfills all your kinks and expectations (and you seem to be quite needy and demanding in your profile - looked it up because when I saw your avatar I thought you were female) without wanting anything for herself, you best look for a complete service submissive - not a lot of dommes or tops are... So I guess that tiger is staying in the wild and not your tank or bed...

ChewMeUp -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 12:50:00 AM)
You misunderstand me quite a bit, I regret to say. That's me in the photo. Behind the glare is stubble and bushy eyebrows. I'm pro-Dommes, pro or otherwise. See my post just prior to yours, but thank you for your response.

LadyPact -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 1:55:14 AM)
Well, I suppose I am the Domme that you've been waiting for. OP, you claim this is the largest problem for those using the site for those interested in femdom, but it's honestly not. As a Dominant woman, the fact that others are here who have come up with ways to get money out of people doesn't have a thing to do with Me. I'd have to think that most female Dominants on the site see it the same way. It's almost universally true that these "oh gosh, they want money" threads are written by men, so I'm sure you can understand why I doubt that women are all that concerned about it. Placing your request about the situation on the forums has no impact. The forum Mods aren't the ones who can grant your request. Only the owner of the site can implement changes of the type that you would like to have. The forum Mods, if they read this thread at all, will only be on it to look for TOS violations. They are volunteers here and have no say in how money is spent for the site. quote: Better searches = better member experience; better member experience = happy members; happy members = thriving community; thriving community = better advertising rates. Just for information's sake, this isn't how advertising works. It's not whether members are happy or not that helps to set rates. It's the number of folks who see the site. CM isn't lacking in this area. Feel free to do the research for yourself and see just how many new people join the site every day. As for who is real, most people who start threads like these already know the answer. When was the last time you went to a munch or an event, OP?

stellauk -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 2:40:19 AM)
Oh Lord. here we go again.. Why single out women? So okay we introduce a system of weeding out all the 'fake' pro-dommes but then, to be fair, why not then turn our attention to male submissives, or for that matter, men in general? Yes, how about we weed out all those married men looking for a bit on the side, the HNGs, the 'lock me up in a cage 24/7 at your expense' types, and so on? But then what do we have here? Here we have a website where if you stick to the TOS you can freely write whatever you like in a box for your profile, freely write whatever you like in another box as a journal, you can upload photos, videos and audio recordings, you can post here on the message boards, and it's all for free. Isn't that enough? Why not just face up to the truth - finding a domme is no different from finding anything or anyone else in life whether it be a job, friends, a partner, somewhere to live or anything else. You've got to get off your backside and make the effort, and keep on making the effort until you find what you're looking for. It's called life.

MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 2:51:27 AM)
Excellent post from Lockit, and lots of other good points in the responses here. My own contribution is simply this: OP, focus your energy on finding what YOU want, and stop trying to be the board police.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 3:18:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUp Fakes and frauds are extremely prevalent in Femdom, to the point that I can hardly tell who is or is not the person they're representing themselves to be. To the point that I spend 99% of my time hiding profiles written by either male perverts pretending to be women so they can get other males to tell them erotic stories about their previous experience, or hiding frauds who are stealing someone's photos to collect money on paypal, amazon etc. I can't even tell how many of them are actually just regular females who want money and presents (less than ideal but at least its authentic). Oh please. Is someone, namely YOU, having a major problem getting laid or something? Well, you will continue having that problem the more you bitch and moan. It's really unattractive in anyone. Yet another post putting down female Dominants. How wonderfully sweet. NOT. In your bitching and moaning about Dommes, you neglect to to bitch and moan about all the male "subs" who are actually bottoms and do-me subs, who really just want fetish-delivery systems. See how that applies to BOTH sides of the F/m kneel? quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUp if you read CM's scam page you will also notice in the language that its in the Femdom lifestyle that these fakes are most prevalent. Respectfully, concerning submissive females and dominant males, this problem might seem less to you, but its the #1 major dysfunction of this website for anyone in the Femdom lifestyle. I can also think of a couple Dommes who may show up and poo-poo the very sentiment - after all they're swamped with emails from submissive males, real submissive males, maybe too many submissive males, so they don't see the problem. Just because males, and submissive males (the minority) in particular have to shoulder the lion's share of the burden, does not mean that it isn't a significant problem. Femdom is important, and real submissive males are important. Again, for every "fake" Domme out there, there are plenty of guys who are do-me's. Get over yourself already, for crying out loud. I think your real problem is you just can't get laid. quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUp Just a word to the wise, ladies I know a lot of you are really fond of the femdom art as well but I have spoken to so many male fakers using this art (and probably using your old profile text), I just can't bring myself to write to someone with femdom art as their front page photo - most have been men. Thank Goddess my foot worship picture is a secondary photo, lest YOU think I'm fake. hahahahaha quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUpThis statement: "Any Institutions or Individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for research or studies do not have my permission to use any of my profile or photos both current and future." I see that disclaimer on almost every profile I see - including the fake ones. Every time I read a great profile and see that dialogue I immediately rethink my decision to write to that person. Yeah? Well, there are plenty of sub males, male Doms, and sub females who have that disclaimer on their profiles too. It's not just Dommes. Go ahead and rethink your decision to write to any Dommes who use that disclaimer. They probably don't want to hear from a whiner like you anyway. Bottom line? I think you're most likely having a problem getting laid, the Domme you have your eye on won't cater to your fetishes, and/or your whining and do-meism is getting you nowhere. Sounds like a personal problem to me. Thanks for warning us about you. haha NBMG

ChewMeUp -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 3:39:14 AM)
I'm surprised and disappointed that any real Dommes would think I have any complaint about them, pro-Dommes or otherwise. I don't! From the sounds of it you get a lot of complaints from immatuer subs about your trade. That's not my complaint. Still, just because you offer a legitimate service for a legitimate value does not mean there aren't three 'financial Dommes' for every 1 real pro, who are just looking for suckers to send them money in exchange for nothing; and 2 of every 3 'financial dommes' are men using fake pictures anyway. And THAT is the problem. Those frauds and men-pretending-to-be-women-to-get-free-jack-off-material are in the way. They are not on the forum. Because of this I am able to respond to you on the forum. They are not on the forum because they are not really Dommes, and since there's no way to get money on the forum, they don't use it. IF there was a way, I would not be able to respond to your posts because they would be buried in solicitations from fakes and frauds. As would every real person's posts. So read the first two paragraphs of this post again - this is not about pro-Dommes; and if you review my other posts you will see that I make mention of my sympathy for the flake men I do know women have to deal with.

LaTigresse -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 4:05:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subbyinlosangele You doth protest too much. Here's the solution. Just be real. The BSers and fraudsters disappear quickly if you greet people as a human being and other deal with others who do the same with you. If you get suckered in by someone, it's because you allow yourself to be. This. So much this. OP, if I had a dollar for every time I've read a pissing whining post like those you've created here on the topic, I could be considered a pro domme. Quit your pissing and whining! It's bothersome, annoying, and puts you in an exceedingly poor light. Twits like you are worse than the scammers.

tj444 -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 4:07:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUp Those frauds and men-pretending-to-be-women-to-get-free-jack-off-material are in the way. They are not on the forum. Because of this I am able to respond to you on the forum. They are not on the forum because they are not really Dommes, and since there's no way to get money on the forum, they don't use it. IF there was a way, I would not be able to respond to your posts because they would be buried in solicitations from fakes and frauds. As would every real person's posts. Fakes and scammers dont check the forums but real people do, like me... When a guy emails me and there is enough interest from me, I check his forum posts.. that can be very telling about a guy.. And a guy whining about fakes, well, I lose interest in him real fast.. And btw, forum posts are forever..

ChewMeUp -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 4:31:32 AM)
So much for trading decorum for drive-by foron swipes. It cannot be said that I have not tried to respond with patience and understanding, to the spree of hostility, uninvited hostility, at any attempt to begin a constructive conversation. SURE: you're right: pissed off 50 year old women are real, have been looking for 20 years for what they have failed to find, therefore all the male subs looking for a genuine Domme in their own age group must be imagining that 9 out of 10 profiles are either fake, frauds or too old. Its not a problem that innocent people are being taken advantage of in a fraudulent disgrace of the Femdom lifestyle, no, its just a problem that you're still available, easy to find, but nobody's interested. I come to point out that there's a real problem with fakes and frauds; predictably those rancid few of you show up to complain that you can't get a date; now I suppose I'm the one being harsh. Don't like it? Then don't steer off topic. Maybe its not a problem to you but I don't suppose you'd enjoy being lied to by other women pretending to be men to manipulate you into giving them real life stories (if you have any) that they can masturbate to. Have fun at the munches with all the 60 year old Dom males!

PeonForHer -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 4:44:20 AM)
Chew, Don't take it personally. For what it's worth, all threads on the subject of fakers turn into whines about whining.

ChewMeUp -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 4:50:28 AM)
Yah? Ok then.

LadyPact -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 5:02:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUp So much for trading decorum for drive-by foron swipes. It cannot be said that I have not tried to respond with patience and understanding, to the spree of hostility, uninvited hostility, at any attempt to begin a constructive conversation. SURE: you're right: pissed off 50 year old women are real, have been looking for 20 years for what they have failed to find, therefore all the male subs looking for a genuine Domme in their own age group must be imagining that 9 out of 10 profiles are either fake, frauds or too old. Its not a problem that innocent people are being taken advantage of in a fraudulent disgrace of the Femdom lifestyle, no, its just a problem that you're still available, easy to find, but nobody's interested. I come to point out that there's a real problem with fakes and frauds; predictably those rancid few of you show up to complain that you can't get a date; now I suppose I'm the one being harsh. Don't like it? Then don't steer off topic. Maybe its not a problem to you but I don't suppose you'd enjoy being lied to by other women pretending to be men to manipulate you into giving them real life stories (if you have any) that they can masturbate to. Have fun at the munches with all the 60 year old Dom males! The problem is that you do not accept that this is not what is considered a "problem" by female Dominants. Why would it be? As a female Dominant, Myself, I don't have a need to search profiles of other female Dominants. So, all the fakes and the frauds (your words, not Mine) aren't ever seen by Me. Do you understand that is why the only reaction that you'll get from Dommes like Me is apathy? It matters about as much as when people complain about male Doms asking too often for blow jobs or female submissives who ask for relocation costs. It doesn't effect My experience on the site whatsoever. You stated a rather lengthy case for your complaint. None of it is a concern of Mine. If you should happen to come up with a reason that I would actually care, I'm sure you will let Me know.

Madame4a -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 5:22:15 AM)
You want to be free of frauds and scams? Get off the net... and then still be wary. Doesn't matter where... a sucker is born every minute. I had my bike up on cycletrader for sale -- first bite on it was a scammer -- we realized it at the second contact. I suppose it must work on some.

LaTigresse -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 8:25:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChewMeUp So much for trading decorum for drive-by foron swipes. It cannot be said that I have not tried to respond with patience and understanding, to the spree of hostility, uninvited hostility, at any attempt to begin a constructive conversation. SURE: you're right: pissed off 50 year old women are real, have been looking for 20 years for what they have failed to find, therefore all the male subs looking for a genuine Domme in their own age group must be imagining that 9 out of 10 profiles are either fake, frauds or too old. Its not a problem that innocent people are being taken advantage of in a fraudulent disgrace of the Femdom lifestyle, no, its just a problem that you're still available, easy to find, but nobody's interested. I come to point out that there's a real problem with fakes and frauds; predictably those rancid few of you show up to complain that you can't get a date; now I suppose I'm the one being harsh. Don't like it? Then don't steer off topic. Maybe its not a problem to you but I don't suppose you'd enjoy being lied to by other women pretending to be men to manipulate you into giving them real life stories (if you have any) that they can masturbate to. Have fun at the munches with all the 60 year old Dom males! Don't make a bigger fool of yourself than you already have. Unless of course, that is your kink. If that is the case, carry on with your dumbassery.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 9:00:16 AM)
My litmus test is simple: If they come to the forums to whine about fakes, scammers, gold-diggers, prostitutes masquerading as dommes or any other variation on this theme, they are automatically guaranteed to be fake. Easy peasy.

Lockit -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 9:02:52 AM)
chewmeup, your profile reads like a fantasy, no real domina could live up to. You are attracting those that go the fantasy route to pull you in and take you. You wish to be taken in many ways, just not by men hiding as women apparently. You aren't listening and then are going the aggressive route. IF YOU WANT REAL, YOU MUST PRESENT AS REAL YOURSELF. Only a scammer type would respond to your profile in a positive manner, because it is pretty far fetched. I mean, really far fetched. Add your passive aggressive mode and anyone that is real is going to pass you by even if you are kind of cute. Your fantasy and strong opinions with lashing out is a problem. I don't see anyone that really aggressively attacked you. They simply spoke their minds. Anyone I did miss an attack with, you can ignore. However, we are not ignoring you or your opinion. We simply don't agree with you on how to solve the little issue you are having. Clean up your own look of fakery before you try to clean up anyone elses and you may be more successful.

PeonForHer -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 10:20:06 AM)
Chew, I don't see aggressiveness (overt or passive) here on your part, despite your having been told that you look like a woman, that you've been whining in a pissy way and that perhaps your problem is that you having trouble getting laid, etcetera. You've remained polite. Well done. However, I can't see the technical devices you suggest working. Prodommes can't stick out as such, from what I hear, because this could attract the wrong sort of attention from the (increasingly anti-sex) authorities especially in the USA. And plenty of sub males use their services. Nothing will stop of the bait and switchers - they'll always find a way round any search-exclusion term you may want to use. Basically, I see this as pretty much like trying to stop the rain: it's not going to happen a) because there will always be huge numbers of men who'll pay; therefore plenty of legitimate and honest pro Dommes but plus, unfortunately, the scammers and b) because I think this is just a reality of the Internet age. On the other hand, I do agree with subbyinlosangele when he says "Just be real. The BSers and fraudsters disappear quickly if you greet people as a human being and other deal with others who do the same with you." Be real yourself, and demand that they be real. If you allow your fantasies to control you, you'll suffer for it in a bad way. (And on the off chance that you meet a lifestyle domme, you'll make her suffer in a bad way, too. Upshot: bitterness all round.) These days, it takes me literally seconds to spot a scammer. The knack is easily gained if you've got some brains - and I think you have. As a rule of the thumb: If you feel all your fantasy buttons being pressed too hard and too early, then you probably have a scammer on your hands. People who want lifestyle relationships just do not do that. Well, that's the rule that's worked for me, anyway. The bottom line though, again, is to be in control of your fantasies. Then, things fall into place pretty swiftly.

Lockit -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 10:31:20 AM)
Peon, you don't see his aggressive manner with how he speaks to the older dominas? He speaks as if it is an insult or uses it as an insult. Now, I have no problem being my age other than... well, sometimes it hurts and sometimes I forget things...lol... and I don't take easy insult, however, I am not blind to someone using something to insult someone. Besides... I do think very strongly... we've seen this young man before. Add that fantasy profile... it is no wonder why he is having a hard time connecting with someone that is balanced in her dominance.

PeonForHer -> RE: Who is real? (Focus: Femdom) (5/25/2012 10:46:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Peon, you don't see his aggressive manner with how he speaks to the older dominas? He speaks as if it is an insult or uses it as an insult. Actually, yes. This I did not like. There were some shitty comments along those lines. ETA: Frigging hell, I find these threads so comprehensively depressing.

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