RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme

RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:13:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK sigh Again, I have to be good. [>:] [sm=zipmouth.gif] Cryptic come help me walk away!!!!! I'd need an official ruling on this one. Is telling someone to sit down and shut up because the adults are talking not considered being good?

pyschosubmission -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:14:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNDommeK sigh Again, I have to be good. [>:] [sm=zipmouth.gif] Cryptic come help me walk away!!!!! I'm not Cryptic but... [image]http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu3epbCCPv1r37dono1_500.gif[/image]

forcedsensuality -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:27:32 PM)
i always took "in reply to" as a silly little niggle, .. ie just the latest reply to the thread, my assumption, .. after all it's the field that presents itself to be filled in, so I would/have myself usually assumed "in reply to" as ambiguous and used the message context to gauge whether a reply is personal thank you for the (neutral) assistance Lady Hibiscus LC's assumption was to assume the worst, ie direct response to her -> launch tirade, ad hominem tirade, projection of most-hated-male onto me, immediately ! first communication ! (why not err on the side of caution and assume the best, proceed diplomatically ?) and LC surely an open-ended profile is fairly meaningless ? again, why make the worst of it ? assuming i have no experience will almost always be wrong.. but yes, i still have some stuff I have not tried ? and thank god for that, i'm not completely jaded (and you also appear to say "and i know where you live") but OK then, i live in NZ, where unlike the US, we do not have Justice Scalia (?) and his literal-interpretation cult/dogma, .. literal interpretation seems to have gotten the Yanks into all sorts of silly constitutional corners,.. very old-fashioned seriously, the way some of you guys so often go back to profiles for literal readings and ad hominem attacks ,.. what does someone think about the substance of my initial post, the ethics committee decision, anyone ?

forcedsensuality -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:32:16 PM)
i used to go out with a beautiful blonde woman but her eyes reminded me of Homer, .. i could not forget him so in the end found her eyes too hard to look at, a shame

LadyPact -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:34:40 PM)
It may be a language barrier thing (English as a second language, perhaps?) but most of the initial post that you made was unintelligible. You mentioned an ethics committee decision, without providing a link of reference. This leaves the reader at a loss for specifics. If you would like to provide additional information so that a comparison can be done, there may be more meat within the concept. The rest impressed Me as a way you think people "should" act, which almost always goes horribly wrong.

pyschosubmission -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:36:10 PM)
Dude...

TNDommeK -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:43:30 PM)
Hahaha...[sm=dontfeedtrolls.gif]

LadyConstanze -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 4:45:59 PM)
Time to bust a bubble and inject some truth Here's my post number 19 http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4128270 Here's your post in direct response to it, over 100 posts later as number 128 http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4199621 Where you spent a lot time lecturing how dommes are meant to be with the direct quote quote: and you're sure-as-hell looking like one of the bad women Yep, the fact that I don't ask for presents and don't want presents and rather have them give to a charity makes me bad, because it's a buzz kill and dommes aren't meant to be like that, and I should have assumed the best from a guy who tells me how I am allowed to domme and who rewrites single handedly how dommes should be? Can you see how well that goes down on a domme board? Now when I mentioned lack of experience, I hadn't even looked at your profile, it was simply from your comments, you know after reading your profile, I realized I was spot on, you dream the BDSM porn dream about being a "sex slave". Now make up your mind, am I bad for an experiment you kept accusing me I conducted (which I didn't and said so repeatedly) or because I don't want to indulge somebody and accept tacky lingerie and therefore ruin some guys fantasy of how a domme should be. And btw not all of us are in the US, you know there are lots and lots of other countries in the world apart from the US and NZ, though I begin to understand now why most of my Aussie friends aren't all that keen on their Kiwi neighbours... Have you met many Australians?

pyschosubmission -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 5:05:35 PM)
How do I feel reading this thread? why I feel... [image]http://i.imgur.com/FOUxQ.gif[/image]

forcedsensuality -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 5:11:28 PM)
because the ethics committee rejected the experiment there never will be a reference to it, it will never be carried out the committee rejected an experiment where in the experiment student participants would have thought they were getting serious expressions of interest, that this person (actor) they had just met "on the way to the experiment" wanted to go out with them and was very interested in them .. in reality the whole transaction was to have been taped and analysed and so the "hook-up" and "date" would have also become some funny Candid Camera moments for psychology post-grads to have a laugh about over drinks. it seemed similar enough to the experiment under discussion here, so i thought this committee decision that i've only recently heard about might be of interest. LadyPact, your English seems fine :) what i tried to explain might have seemed a little pompous, I'm used to thinking in a legalistic way, where generalities and hypothetical discussions about "how society would be if" are common, sorry .. the idea is that if everybody behaved deceptively in their initial encounters with each other, then no-one would trust anyone else enough to get to a mutually trustful relationship. Fine to mutually agree to a relationship where there is some consensual abuse or game-playing, but the process of forming the relationship in the first place should not be abusive or a misuse of power imbalances or deceptive or "tricky" for either party. Assuming only "worms" or "jerk-offs" would fall for this "trick" profile is a bit like saying "only a stupid person who deserves what they get would sign up for that mortgage deal". Do we want a society where everybody is always being tricky, so everyone has to be constantly wary (or where everybody must bow and use formal language for self-appointed "dominants") ? It's a an old legal philosophy argument.. a related idea is that dominants shouldn't pull dominant airs and graces or always be right or use some fictional superiority or use duress etc etc in negotiating a relationship with a sub .. the same rules of civil society apply to everyone until they agree freely and fully consensually to a relationship with different power-sharing arrangements.

TNDommeK -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 5:35:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission How do I feel reading this thread? why I feel... [image]http://i.imgur.com/FOUxQ.gif[/image] I see why Greedy loves you, you are awesome!

LadyConstanze -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 5:39:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission How do I feel reading this thread? why I feel... [image]http://i.imgur.com/FOUxQ.gif[/image] I have more this reaction: [image]http://ifevolutionworks.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/BangHeadHere.gif[/image]

pyschosubmission -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 5:51:12 PM)
Here's my stress reduction kit :D [image]http://favim.com/orig/201105/10/cat-cat-funny-cats-cute-funny-lol-cats-Favim.com-39185.jpg[/image]

LadyPact -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 7:21:39 PM)
quote: LadyPact, your English seems fine :) what i tried to explain might have seemed a little pompous, I'm used to thinking in a legalistic way, where generalities and hypothetical discussions about "how society would be if" are common, sorry .. It wasn't exactly My English that I was calling into question.

forcedsensuality -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/10/2012 2:27:58 AM)
LadyConstanze, i don't want to be rude to you, well no ruder than you have been to me (although two wrongs don't make a right) but based on the way you've behaved to me i won't be trying out your stress system. I don't really know you, so it would be hard to glean much from your aggressive responses to me, but people who've had head injuries sometimes do become very aggressive or inappropriate. Assuming that you'd only suggest a stress system that's as edgy as the one you've recommended to me here after plenty of your own experience with it (assuming that you're bringing all that experience you brag about having in your alternative lifestyle to bear in recommending head banging to me), i'll just tentatively suggest that opinions about what constitutes safe play do differ widely. I'd also say this to you LadyConstanze, 1) get some second opinions before you continue head-banging, .. it might seem like safe play to you, and your logical reasoning may have been impaired by some earlier event, but since you have seemingly admitted head-banging to be an activity you'd recommend as safe, it might be wise to take your head in for a check-up sometime soon, even if it's just for your own piece of mind and 2) you've trumpeted your own experience as something that trumps my "newbie"/"misfit"/"sleaze" perspective (your mistaken assumptions about me, of course) .. well, hey even if you don't like some scene player, you should still think twice before recommending what you might think to be safe or edgy practices to anyone lacking your extensive experience, since yours is a somewhat unique perspective on what constitutes safe play. Imagine you're online and you're being sarcastic to someone you consider inexperienced, idiotic, uppity, or for whatever reason you're impatient with, maybe just someone who's disagreed with you (which must be fairly uncommon and outrageous an occurrence for someone like yourself so elegantly oozing with natural authority as you are), .. remember that sarcasm is so low a form of humour that it drops out and can completely fail to transmit over the internet .. so in the unlikely event you do find yourself stooping low with the sarcasm while communicating to some despicable bdsm man online, be careful not to compromise safety by suggesting something that could be dangerous !! I do admire your public-spirited work on "ask a mistress" and i'm sure the barren scope of your exchanges do provide little arousal or reward for you or the people you try to help, but do be careful with vague talk regarding those edgy activities you recommend, because you may be in a minority of people so experienced in controversial practices, .. sure, i guess you've been head-banging for years and i'm sure you don't do stuff that wild by half and sure you don't think it's dangerous .. it's a stress technique right ? you find it helps you ? maybe you started doing it years ago, teenage thrills perhaps, "it was good enough for me so why shouldn't the next generation of self-destructive masochists do it too!" you say,.. ok, that's your perspective ,.. just don't be too keen to turn other people on to a technique you've found takes the edge off just for you .. just as an aside, there may be researchers interested in talking to you .. you may be more unique than even you give yourself credit for !! Let someone put you in an MRI machine and they'll help you understand the precise mechanism, explain just how it is that head-banging get's you off and makes you feel better.. (I think it might be a different mechanism to the more common and conventionally safer bdsm practice-related endorphin thing, so your head might be a new area of interest to someone out there.. someone out there interested in your head, how about that !! that's a good thing isn't it ?) and not for me to say really, but DO take it easy on the old head eh, you might not truly quite be aware of how much is just NOT THERE ANYMORE in that old wise and possibly excessively experienced brain of yours.. how much grey matter you've got left to play with might be one of those tricky "unknown unknowns" that Rumsfeld talked about (now was he referring to Bush's brain with that ? oh that's right, Bush had some other guy employed to be his brain didn't he).. yeah maybe you can find some servile character to be your brain. Nah, that wouldn't work, they'd have to take the dominant position (just in the interests of safe play, of course, a small detail).

forcedsensuality -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/10/2012 2:39:22 AM)
LadyPact, the English thing, i thought i was just continuing with what started as your joke. Sure American English is different, and some would say evolved, but i try to be comprehensible. Some of the humour and in-jokes around here goes over or under my head (and I've never tried head-banging for what it's worth), but I do try and imagine people who'd be reading anything I'm writing with hopefully the appropriate respectfulness. The ethics thing seems interesting to me. I wasn't privy to the reasons for the decision, but i think the mere knowledge that such an experiment was refused on presumably generally agreed ethics principles speaks volumes about one commonly held perspective on deceptive behaviour in "first-base"/ initial hook-up dating situations, so I'd think it'd apply to online dating practices.

LadyConstanze -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/10/2012 4:22:52 AM)
I don't know how to break this gently to you, you keep on mentioning some ethics experiment, yet you fail to provide a link with "Oh it was denied due to the ethics so it never happens, no documentation available" - let me point out that is is not how academia works. And I still don't know why you keep on beating that poor deceased horse, the experiment as a FinDomme wasn't mine. There is no bragging about being involved in BDSM or not, if you happen to be, you make certain experiences, let's say you like to cook, then you know a little bit about spices and ingredients, it just happens. You obviously really don't know a lot about the interactions people have, that's not mean spirited, it's a simple observation. Nobody here was born wielding a whip or with the instant knowledge of how to do needle play or bondage, we all learned it, put in time and effort and we put in as much time and effort into learning about the dynamics. We all stress that it's about consenting partners, everything else would be abuse. A stranger approaching a woman and trying to force her to accept a gift of tacky lingerie and she should accept it and then be mean to him the way he likes it, because that is how you want her to be, that's not freaking BDSM, that's a wank fantasy and it doesn't fly. You know, I really don't want to waste my time addressing all the trite and your assumptions, reading a lot of what you wrote, I do honestly believe you have some serious mental issues and you simply don't get it. And nope, I don't mean that as an insult. Listen you know pretty nothing about what I consider safe or edge play (though for you a spanking would possibly edge play) and I don't go around and tell people to do it, in fact I often discourage them, not because I don't want them to play on that level, but because I don't want to give somebody who doesn't really know what he or she is doing ideas where there is a high risk of somebody being hurt and they aren't ready or don't show the commitment. BDSM and practises in BDSM aren't witchcraft or secret knowledge, but some of them require skills you have to learn. In case somebody asks about how to learn a specific skill, I gladly tell them where they can learn it. Believe it or not the community is pretty much about sharing. However, I will not give somebody tips on how to do something when I feel they don't quite understand the whole safety issues or would be sloppy. Not because I'm hording knowledge, but simply because I don't want to help in something where a submissive would be injured or in danger. That's pretty much how most of us handle things here. If it's quite edgy, we PM each other, trust me, you get a feel how somebody is playing after a while. So again, your assumptions were just that, assumptions... As for frustrations, actually I have rather nice private exchanges with a few people, sorry to disappoint you, not frustrated though you are seriously trying my patience. The reason why I felt like banging my head against the wall was simply that I have this feeling that if I would somehow get rid of at least 50% of my brain cells, it would be easier to understand you. As for being rude and aggressive towards, you again, I supplied the links of our first interaction, go and check them out http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4200390 Look, you are not only very tiring, you also deliberately refuse to understand what people are telling you. Maybe you feel better if you imagine that you are the victim of some evil internet bitch, if so, I hope I made your day. In case you really want to know about BDSM, I would suggest that you check out the power exchange factor, maybe the FAQ list on top, because most of the women are really not looking for a sex slave (which is what you want to be according to your profile) and that is something that is not based in reality, that's straight out of BDSM porn. You might find that people are in general quite helpful here in case you have a real question and you have done your research. We're not all that keen on people coming in and asking "Who wants to do ..... with me" or "I want a Mistress", and we are also not very keen on people who tell us how we have to lead our relationship, because that is how some obscure guy wants us to lead them. Btw kudos on trying to be sarcastic, you aren't quite there yet, keep on trying.

forcedsensuality -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/10/2012 5:26:06 AM)
Ms Constance, you supplied the link to my initial post .. pretty ambiguous at best that it was a response to you, the worst possible interpretation, but that's the assumption you, .. and please remember, IT WASN'T A RESPONSE TO YOU and then just look down the page a bit, look at your vitriloc, hysterical, baseless tirade at me (not my post, but me) underneath my post .. wtf ?? i wasn't talking to you !! i wasn't your cardboard cut-out generic bad-subbie, i hadn't read your post !! it was nothing to do with you !! but you jumped down my throat i've admitted that based on your OTT post, that i in response assumed that it must have been your experiment .. it's easier ti just admit it when i'm wrong so we both made some early assumptions that were wrong but i wasn't all that wrong about your hysterical response, and i only responded to you because you reacted so extremely and your baseless assumptions deserved some corrective response !! and yet you persist with the ad hominem stuff, the presumptions based on a fluid work-in-progress profile, the assumption i'm not committed or genuine, just after a quick wank, that i like to tell domme's what to do .. where do you get all this ?? you get it from your experience, ok, but not your experience of me,. no, you assume some people you've met are like me, you assume i'm them, .. you project them onto me do you ever make mistakes, get anything wrong ? or do you just never admit to getting even little details wrong ? and i'm trying your patience ,.. uh, so what, because i dare to disagree, so i'm a bad boy, better shut up had i ? yeah right, and you're the new Premier of North Korea ! well maybe you'd prefer that level of power and unconditional agreement. read what i said again once you've accepted that the whole post had nothing to do with you except for the salvation army idea which i read somewhere .. that line was an [araphrase of this idea: "silly subbie male slime.. you fell for my trick, therefore you deserved to and i am absolved from any moral or ethical responsibility" .. that attitude .. you have never said anything much about the IDEAS in my post .. this whole thing with you is a side issue, a red herring, .. what do you think about the ethics ideas, what do you think about how people SHOULD behave in BDSM pick-ups ? stop complaining about all the bad people, stop complaining,. .. try and be constructive ! should there be any deception or power differential in the BDSM hook-up scene ? maybe i know more or less than you know .. well rather than assume i know nothing and so by your logic deserve ridicule (huh, why ?) why not explain how it is i have no insight into a BDSM relationship and why is my knowledge of the INSIDE of a BDSM relationship so relevant to the OUTSIDE of one ? (ie when people hook-up, BEFORE they agree to the games) .. are you saying POWER has some place OUTSIDE/BEFORE the relationship kicks off, before parties agree to the rules of the game ? (if you're not i fail to see why my ignorance or otherwise of your sort of relationship is relevant ? i mean this is "ask a mistress", right ?) btw, i'm not admitting the extent of my involvement on the inside of any BDSM pacts since it seems irrelevent to what my post was about, suffice to say i don't let all my laundry hang-out of only my third profile of this site, btw not my first soc-net BDSM experience over the last 5-10 years.. please move on from the initial misunderstandings we both had which were trivial and deal with the stuff my post was about or stop whining..

LadyConstanze -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/10/2012 5:40:02 AM)
Buttercup, stop your bullshit, it was a direct response to my post, since you have been on CM for so long (under different identities you claim) you should know how the message board works, go back to your post and what it says in the right hand corner "reply to...". Fast reply doesn't work as an excuse because then you would have replied to the post directly above you. Look, I'm going to press ignore because I seriously can't deal with your lies, whinging and general BS... Actually that is wrong, I don't want to deal with your delusions, because that would be wasting minutes of my life that I never get back, and talking to you really feels like banging my head against a wall repeatedly. Believe you are victimized, as I said, I hope it makes your day, I'm pressing ignore before I say something that gets me a gold bordered letter. Have a nice life...

thishereboi -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/10/2012 5:54:53 AM)
Now I am not defending him or his posts, but if he had gotten to the bottom of the first page and used the fast reply at the end of it, it would have posted as "in reply" to you. Kinda like I just did.

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