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LadyConstanze -> RE: 24 Hours as a Fake Domme (8/9/2012 6:54:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: forcedsensuality
Connie,
what you've written is an ad hominem response to me rather than a response to the logic of what i said.
whether i'm looking or not hasn't got anything to do with it, and you haven't explained how you've assumed i am single or why that would have any bearing on the ethics of the experiment.
civil society, mutually (universally) agreed negotiating power positions, mutual trust .. these are the issues (you've failed to address)
is playing a dominant identity role an excuse to behave badly whenever and wherever it suits you ?
and in this case to argue badly ? an excuse to throw a tantrum ?
you assume only those bad people who wanted a cheap wank responded and so get "punished" (admitting your experiment "causes harm" then ?)
convenient assumption eh, gets you off the hook eh ?
yeah, so lets belittle all submissive men who responded, however innocent or genuine or stupid (or evil) they may have been in responding to your experiment
(it is a weird coincidence that i heard about this failed ethics situation just two days ago,.)
Hey, not so bright, what on earth makes it so hard to understand that it was not my experiment? You know, I fully understand that it challenges your mental capability over it's rather restricted limit to actually figure out that I didn't have an experiment. I don't know who did the experiment, but I can assure you I am not interested in financial domination, I think I am explaining it for the uptenth time since you lack the smarts to understand what has been said over and over again and you are all butthurt because I joked with somebody.
I doubt you understand, that, so let me put it in more simple terms:
No clue who conducted that "experiment", wasn't me, wouldn't have wasted my time because it's pointless anyway. Got that? Not too hard to understand? Let me know which part of that complicated scheme you didn't understand.
Furthermore if you are all butthurt that I don't do domination by numbers and that I am really not interested in a stranger buying me things, tough for you, babycakes.
As for throwing a tantrum, the only one who does seems to be you with "dommes aren't meant to be like this" - seems that you didn't quite catch a rather important part of life, people aren't the way you want them to be, they are who they are and a domme who dominates you the way you want her to dominate you is a service top.
Why I assume you are single? I don't assume you are single, I assume you are looking for a domme because you go on and on about how they "ought" to be, like you made them up in your mind, in your fantasies. Now if you would have experience, you would know that each and everyone is an individual, not a cut out figure who will dominate you how she "ought to dominate you" because that's how you view her in your fantasies. You don't see a lot of guys in a D/s relationship going on how they want to be dominated.
As for the issues "I failed to address" - how on earth do they play into somebody who doesn't want a real life relationship? A guy who wants to be financially dominated on the internet by a fantasy figure?
And you know if you are going on about the civil society, and mutually (universally) agreed negotiation power positions and mutual trust, you need a relationship for that, and you haven't grasped D/s, once you enter a D/s relationship, unless it's all just a fantasy, it's not an equal relationship anymore, it's DOMINANCE and SUBMISSION, or do you think a domme is going to negotiate with the submissive in a D/s relationship if she may dominate him now or later and how she may dominate him? You got to be kidding here. What you are looking for sounds like somebody who delivers an elaborate role play when it suits you, not a dominant.
What you don't get (among several other aspects) is that I am not on a hook, I'm not looking and even if I was, I wouldn't need to compromise and bargain. You might not like it and stomp your foot and say it should be different, not going to change.
Where on earth did I belittle ALL submissive men? Because I don't want presents from the few who think they can dictate me to accept presents from them? And in that case the presents wouldn't be presents, they would be bribes. I can assure you that submissive men in general are smarter than that, the dumb ones I simply don't want to know, just like I don't want to know the ones looking for a bit of cyber, or the ones who label themselves submissive because they get off on the idea of being a sex toy. Sorry, but those guys aren't submissives, those are guys who watched too much porn.
What you really can pin on me, is that I am lacking sympathy for guys who send presents to somebody who says flat out that she (or in most cases possibly a he) is a financial domme, they aren't duped or scammed, they are told what to expect and they go for it. Now this site also has in big red letters the warning over every message that nobody should send money to people for whatever reason, if they decide to ignore that warning, I'm questioning their sanity and think they need a smack, but I don't get bent out of shape and consider it a tragedy, I consider it a result of their own stupidity. Still doesn't put me under the obligation of accepting a present from anybody, because some guy wants to give me cheap lingerie. To be honest, I would find it a bit too intimate to accept lingerie from a stranger and I wouldn't really trust a stranger's taste in such a delicate matter.
However, if somebody who is trying to impress me decides I have to change my values because it turns him off that I would much rather have him donate to charity, he fails to impress me. Sorry, not changing to accepting lingerie because it turns some guy on and this is how I am "meant" to dominate, I'm not the one who's soliciting anything, I'm simply stating that I am more impressed by a guy who gives to charity. It's up to the guy if he wants to impress me or not, it's not up to him to tell me what I "ought" to do because he saw it in a porn movie.
Your whole stance here and "dommes should be like this and do that, and this how it should be" gives me the impression that you never had much real life BDSM interaction and certainly no BDSM relationship, because it sound a lot like a teenager thinking relationships are like those things they see in movies. The D/s part in BDSM has power exchange, and that doesn't just happen when the submissive part thinks it's convenient or a turn on. If you make it clear from the start that you only want it on your terms, then it is kink - nothing wrong with that, but don't mislabel it and think that is how it should be for everybody.
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