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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 8:38:32 AM

Deliena

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can I have kitteh aftercare from now onwards please? I didn't see it on the menu before

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 9:18:46 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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It all depends upon how well you are at dealing with potential awkwardness afterwards. Your own instincts, motives and desires should help you know how well thinks are clicking in what directions. It's a mix between you and them.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 2:54:26 PM

ProlificNeeds

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FR~

To my mind the severity of the scene dictates how much effort you should put into aftercare.

I would personally offer fluids, a cookie, and a blanket by default, if they decline then fine, but I'd keep thm close to hand anyway. I'd expect anyone playing with me to do the same (I am diabetic and low blood sugar is a big deal). But I'd make it my responsibility to tell my top what I will need (before the play starts), not expect them to anticipate or mind read.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:00:39 PM

Endivius

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After a long session of whipping my sluts about, giving them endless pleasures and pains. I allways need a massage and a glass of tea.

Oh wait you meant...

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:03:19 PM

kalikshama

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After I catch my breath, I'm happy to give a massage - he did all the work!

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:13:55 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

After a long session of whipping my sluts about, giving them endless pleasures and pains. I allways need a massage and a glass of tea.

Oh wait you meant...

We're in synch for some reason today. There is actually an excellent class that's been done on the leather circuit by slave bonnie (owned by Sir Top). In it, she covers following day after care for tops. Specific types of massage for the wrists, for example, for those who do a lot of flourentine flogging, the shoulders, etc. It's a very comprehensive look at what the top's body also goes through and what can be especially helpful the following day. Really excellent stuff.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:19:53 PM

crazyml

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FR - to no-one in particular.

What the fuck?

I mean, seriously, if you actually have to ponder the question of "aftercare", if it's something you have to consciously consider then, christ on a stick you need to be seriously asking yourself if you have enough common sense to be doing this shit.

Speaking for myself - the kind of sub who needs the kind of "aftercare" that requires me to get her her special blankie, make her some hot choccie with whipped cream and sprinkes, then pop some soothing music on the gramaphone in order to help her "re-center" is likely to irritate the shit out of me.

But for fuck's sake... While I don't think for a second I have supernatural powers of empathy, I sure as shit know when to ask a playmate if she's ok, when to make a cuppa, when to suggest a walk... And if you're into rougher/more intense scenes I'd kinda hope you'd a) be getting to know your playmate a little before hand and b) engaging your head-brain when it comes to managing the scene.

- Sorry if I appear grumpy, it's because I am grumpy

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:23:09 PM

LadyHibiscus

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You are indeed grumpy. I suggest cocoa and I biscuit. Granted, I suggest that for most situations, but it seems to work.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:31:00 PM

crazyml

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No sprinkles?

You see <fans face> even you, someone I trusted and admired, have no sense of my need for <sniff> after care.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:32:06 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

No sprinkles?

You see <fans face> even you, someone I trusted and admired, have no sense of my need for <sniff> after care.

Tut. Cocoa ALWAYS comes with whipped cream and sprinkles!

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:34:21 PM

crazyml

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<bashful face>

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:39:05 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

<bashful face>

I'm a good wifey. Just ask Peon!

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:52:53 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

FR - to no-one in particular.

What the fuck?

Forgive the trim, Grumpy.

I was actually serious about both on this thread. I'm still a little flipped that people think water is aftercare. My standard procedure is for people to go get it before the scene ever starts. That way, I have it there should the scene get cut short, go long, or any other thing.

For casual play, I figure you know you better than anybody. If you tend to get cold, you know that. I don't. Do you like a snack afterwards? You know that, too. Seriously, bottoms. Be fair about this kind of stuff. You are a part of the negotiations, just like I am. If you know you need it, be responsible for telling somebody.

On the other side, I know the same things about Myself that I'm asking of you. My next day after care is where it's really at for Me. I'm not 28 anymore and topping is a little harder on My body than it used to be. I know to eat, rest, and take the time for Me that I need while I am still happy. I don't even ask these things from casual play partners. In a committed dynamic, I up the stakes because I expect more from a submissive than I do a play partner.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:57:25 PM

crazyml

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So... what I think you're saying is that you apply your (ample) common sense to the situation?

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 3:58:00 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Well sure, the water is there from the get go, what if they need water during the scene? Or any damn thing, for that matter.

I have met people who required aftercare that was longer than the scene. What I know is that those are not the right playmates for me.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 4:03:49 PM

YSG

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For me, it depends on the level of emotional involvement. If Im not really emotionally involved, just give me a bottle of water and let me stare off into space. If its someone special to me, I love cuddling/kissing/caressing etc.

edited for severe spelling errors. I really need to start sleeping regularly...

< Message edited by YSG -- 6/5/2012 4:15:18 PM >

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 4:09:34 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

So... what I think you're saying is that you apply your (ample) common sense to the situation?

I try to. That mind reading trick hasn't kicked in. I mean, I can't just pull these things out of My ass if I'm in a public venue that doesn't supply them. (Blankets can be an example there.) I already pack an incredible amount of crap because I know what I need for playing. It works both ways, doesn't it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Well sure, the water is there from the get go, what if they need water during the scene? Or any damn thing, for that matter.

I have met people who required aftercare that was longer than the scene. What I know is that those are not the right playmates for me.

Do you know who has become one of My favorite occasional play partners these days? The guy is a Dom who enjoys bottoming and only bottoms to Me. Easiest after care in the world. Water, a couple of hugs, or maybe walk arm and arm to get some air.

The gal I'm mentoring and her sub? A kiss on the cheek and that's all I want.

I know the types you mean, though. For casual play, I'd rather have those towards the end of the evening when I'm starting to get tired. Not early when there are other scenes that I want to do.

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Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 4:28:15 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Dang, when I think of all the gear I have to bring... no wonder playing at parties seems like such a drag.

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RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 4:30:46 PM

LadyPact

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Do you know what they have taken to calling Me up here? Mary Poppins and her magical bag of kink. It means if you want it, need it, or even were thinking about it, Lady Pact probably has it.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 39

RE: Aftercare - 6/5/2012 4:32:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I remember those days well. All the ginormous bags of toys folks carry with them in their mad contests of who-has-the-fanciest one-upmanship, and they don't have a freakin alcohol wipe or a cigarette lighter? For shame!

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