RE: Let's Discuss Obedience

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RE: Let's Discuss Obedience - 6/15/2012 4:39:09 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

Now there have been times Master has required me to do something and when I did it, I apparently did not do it the right way but he says it was his fault for not being more clear with the orders so now he makes sure he's always clear and concise and if it's not done right the first time, then the fault is on him.

This was my attitude at work. I learned to be extremely clear and precise when I was giving directions to a Ukrainian designer who would translate them into Russian for our coder. My subsequent English speaking minions were most appreciative.

GIGO.

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RE: Let's Discuss Obedience - 6/15/2012 9:11:25 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Thank you mummy, and yes it was a very similar situation, except we had never previously discussed it.

And of course, I realize in retrospect that I should have opened up a discussion with him. I was not paying attention to how risk adverse he is when it comes to his career.

Totally my own bad. It ended up with us talking at length, and I agreed he did not have to do it, and we would not even discuss it further unless he wanted to. It's been over two years with no further discussion, so I'm assuming he won't go there !!

Chatte,
Since I do not know the dynamics of the relationship, and even if I did, I am not looking to cast blame. Everyone has hardlimits. I see it as in this case that this hard limit was never discussed. A relationship takes 2 people. So I see it as more of a communication break down. As much as you think you should opened the discussion, he also could open it. I am older now and know to bring up subjects like this. When I was younger I did not think of it and I ran into conflicts between relationships and work. Now I now better and talk about it on the first or 2nd date I have with a potential Domme.

From my personal experience. Work is a hard limit. I have a nice job and it pays well. Benifits are great. And the most important part is I really enjoy my job. Its taken me 25 years to get where I am today. If I were to lose my job it would be very difficult and I would even say impossible to get a similar job with the benifits and pay.

Another subject that comes up after time is gray areas. Not quiet a hard limit but something you really never thought about and suddenly your partner is very interested in that area. So I find it benifical to set some dialog up about gray areas and how to handle them early on. It takes 2 people to make the relationship and I like the opportunity (from the sub point of view) to be able to discuss with the Domme about a gray area if I am feeling uncomfortable about it. I guess what I am saying is communication is the key. And I always want the ability to be able to talk to my Domme if I am feeling uncomfortable about something. My approach to that would not be to say no but rather to ask, "can we discuss this subject? I am not comfortable with it and I would like to discuss it before we proceed".

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Post #: 62