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Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 3:27:10 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Baby steps are great. I love them but once in a while I get hit with a full-blown in my face LEAP across a canyon where I have a thought or feeling that is so alien I am left dumbfounded.

The day it dawned on me that I had neither the will nor the desire to leave. It was the first day that I felt completely owned - that's the day it all got real. Big leap there.

Another leap - The time we were standing in the kitchen and I had this overwhelming desire to drop down and crawl to him, on my belly .. some weird animal. That wasn't me, ever, but at that time, in that moment I did want it - beyond belief I wanted that - and I never had before and only once since then has something on that same sort of level, (like a sister-feeling to the crawling) come over me.

The crawling one, exactly like that.. that was a first and only. I didn't tell him what I was feeling. It scared me and I wasn't brave. I had some sort of cold and distant fear that I would lose my identity and that I might not be able to come back again. It wasn't the place for the likes of me. But I wasn't brave.. not because I didn't crawl.. I don't need to test myself. I know the places I should and should not go. I wasn't brave because I didn't tell.

Don't be like me, be brave. Chances to experience such raw authentic moments of self are not as common as you may think so I would urge you to take advantage of them when you can.. with someone whom you can trust.

Feel free to share some leaps, encouraging leaping, share a step or two.. whatever strikes your fancy.

If someone gets something out of this, that's great and I wish you joyous leaps and lots of baby steps and the strength to survive those leaps which you think can kill you.. (they almost never do.. but it's that 'almost' that keeps it rather interesting don't you think?)

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

Post #: 1

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 7:33:57 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Remember the 'who would you be on cm?' Game? And I said I would be you? Posts like this are why!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 2

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 7:42:51 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

THe light bulb moment. Are you still with this person?

Very incredible to get to that place and share it and have it returned in the exact way one envisioned. Glorious!!!! I wouldnt know the latter of that exchange between two people who trust each other but I can imagine how fantastic it would be.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 3

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 8:24:57 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I think I go through this again and again whenever he takes me to places I never thought I would feel again with someone. For me, the more he pushes me, the deeper my relationship and surrender becomes with him.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 4

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 8:25:47 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

For me it wasn't that I realized I couldn't leave, it was that I didn't *want* to leave. I had been telling myself all along that if things took a bad turn, I'd be out, because I'm not doing the prolonged "hang in there" thing again and making myself miserable. But then things did get bad for awhile, and a determination and fight came up in me, that no - we're working through this, I do NOT want to leave, I want to get back to the good. And we did (after a lot of tears and conversation and a few days apart to clear our minds). Big leap for me - I'm not bailing when things get tough. I *could* leave, but I choose to stay.

That was a really really big one for me.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 5

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 11:14:48 AM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

I came to be me by little baby steps. The women in my family are raised to be subservient to their men folk. To never have a thought of their own. Taught that their wants/needs/desires are selfish and not to be bothering the men folk with such. After a couple of failed marriages I met the boyfriend who changed my life and way of thinking. It was still an uphill battle, to put my way of being raised behind me and exert my control, as it went against everything I had ever known. Still, I made it, and while I am outcast to the family, I am me and damned proud of it.

_____________________________

“Love me without fear, trust me without questioning, need me without demanding, want me without restrictions, accept me without changes, desire me without inhibitions"-Dick Sutphen

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 6

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 12:11:42 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Remember the 'who would you be on cm?' Game? And I said I would be you? Posts like this are why!

I missed that game but

Thank you so much, Lady H.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 7

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 12:19:47 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

THe light bulb moment. Are you still with this person?

Yes, 16 years M/s and today we are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary. As soon as we get passed the honeymoon phase, we'll reassess whether or not we think this thing has potential to last.

We're both still in lust mode right now.

quote:

Very incredible to get to that place and share it and have it returned in the exact way one envisioned.

Oh, nothing is how either of envisioned it. Not even close. My fantasy's and images were formed when I was a girl and read Cartland romances and pirate stories. Real life has been so above and beyond and growing into a women with him by my side is in all ways superior to 'do me, do me now' that started my whole journey.

Many a leap and bound since that day.. another Master, a lifetime ago.

quote:

Glorious!!!!

Adequate at the very least. And interesting.

quote:

I wouldnt know the latter of that exchange between two people who trust each other but I can imagine how fantastic it would be.

I hope you find it... it's not too shabby a place to dwell and exploring its a hoot.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 8

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 12:24:54 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Remember the 'who would you be on cm?' Game? And I said I would be you? Posts like this are why!

I missed that game but Thank you so much, Lady H.

Actually you didnt, but it was YEARS ago!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 9

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 12:27:32 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

For me it wasn't that I realized I couldn't leave, it was that I didn't *want* to leave. I had been telling myself all along that if things took a bad turn, I'd be out, because I'm not doing the prolonged "hang in there" thing again and making myself miserable. But then things did get bad for awhile, and a determination and fight came up in me, that no - we're working through this, I do NOT want to leave, I want to get back to the good. And we did (after a lot of tears and conversation and a few days apart to clear our minds). Big leap for me - I'm not bailing when things get tough. I *could* leave, but I choose to stay.

That was a really really big one for me.

Sheer, unabashed determination is a character trait of value to me.

My taste in friends rocks if I do say so myself.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 10

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 12:28:49 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Remember the 'who would you be on cm?' Game? And I said I would be you? Posts like this are why!

I missed that game but Thank you so much, Lady H.

Actually you didnt, but it was YEARS ago!

I either had eggos or oatmeal for breakfast this morning.. there's my memory for ya! lol

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 11

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 12:43:02 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

My 'lightbulb moment' was when I realized that I could get what I needed and did not have to sacrifice my life to do it.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 12

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 1:13:42 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

My 'lightbulb moment' was when I realized that I could get what I needed and did not have to sacrifice my life to do it.

The level and depth of what you share here, at times, overwhelms me and you impact people whether you want to or not and whether you know it or not.

That's about as high a compliment as I know how to make online so, just, thank you. I don't know what else to say.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 13

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 1:27:59 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think I go through this again and again whenever he takes me to places I never thought I would feel again with someone. For me, the more he pushes me, the deeper my relationship and surrender becomes with him.

Your post just caused me a chance to have one of those baby steps I was talking about. I realized that most of my leaps (save one off the top of my head) have come about during times when I was partnered rather than alone. The partners in my life have, good and bad, had significant external influence on where I have gone and how I've gotten there and many times were the catalyst to the leaps that were more internally focused. I like to think I would have been able to get there on my own but it's an interesting insight none-the-less.

Cool beans.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 14

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 1:38:54 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Delilya

I came to be me by little baby steps. The women in my family are raised to be subservient to their men folk. To never have a thought of their own. Taught that their wants/needs/desires are selfish and not to be bothering the men folk with such. After a couple of failed marriages I met the boyfriend who changed my life and way of thinking. It was still an uphill battle, to put my way of being raised behind me and exert my control, as it went against everything I had ever known. Still, I made it, and while I am outcast to the family, I am me and damned proud of it.

You had a double whammy .. it's not just your famly who raised their females in the manner you've described. It's been pretty much that way since the beginning and while progress is tangible, there are still battles to be fought. Rock on! I'm a cheerleader.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Delilya)

Post #: 15

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 1:38:55 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

Those baby steps are valued and cherished. When my Princess first told me that she loved me, I lost my breath. It was one of her steps. I had to ask her what she said, she said it again, and I remembered to breathe.

There is a word in there, and I think it rings truthfully in your original post, OP: devotion.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 16

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 1:47:05 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

Those baby steps are valued and cherished. When my Princess first told me that she loved me, I lost my breath. It was one of her steps. I had to ask her what she said, she said it again, and I remembered to breathe.

I read this at least five times. It rocks.

quote:

There is a word in there, and I think it rings truthfully in your original post, OP: devotion.

Yeah. Good word.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Post #: 17

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 1:59:19 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

The credit belongs to her. She makes me a better man.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 18

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 2:04:52 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

For me it wasn't that I realized I couldn't leave, it was that I didn't *want* to leave.

That was a really really big one for me.

That was exactly what it was like for me. I was really young when we met but before him I had a desire to get out after just a few weeks and hung on for unknown reasons. I was so surprised and shocked when months went by and not only did I not want to leave but I could not get enough of him.

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that must be earned. It can be given, but never taken

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 19

RE: Baby Steps & Leaps and Bounds - 6/16/2012 2:30:22 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
For me it wasn't that I realized I couldn't leave, it was that I didn't *want* to leave.

*chuckles* Which, when you think about it, isn't much different than "can't" leave. After all, the first and most important ingredient for successfully leaving is having the desire to do so :)

Carol and I were having an argument a few months ago. It was, by our standards anyway, a big one. I even had to leave the house and take a walk. As I was fuming and walking and being angry I asked myself, "Well Jeff, do you want to divorce her?" The answer to that question came back with such an incredibly empathic "OH HELL NO!" that it literally stopped me in my tracks. My next thought was, "Well then, better get over being angry and fix this problem."

Even when I am at one of the angriest moment in years with Carol the idea of leaving her is totally ridiculous. I appear to be stuck with her. Woe is me.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 20

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