RE: Should I or Shouldn't I????

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RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/28/2012 4:29:18 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

A dom who's wife isnt satisfying him?
A dom who's wife knows little about his
"dominant side"...
It looks to me like this guys been living
The life he wants online behind his wifes
back, and now wants to sneek it into the
Real world....

In other words, a cheating husband.
Sneaking around is a bad idea...
And I doubt he'll leave her for you,
Even if he did, would you really want
To be a house wrecker? Theres a baby
To consider...

My advice is, you really need to learn how
To recognize a proper Dom.

-ARIES

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Post #: 61

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/28/2012 7:27:41 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I don't think she's looking for a Dom or a long term relationship. Just a fuck to satisfy her hot cunt.

Which means she is in the same class with the dick-centric wanker HNGs that are so prevalent here. It's very apparent here that neither gender has a corner on that sort of behavior. The only difference is she is cunt-centric.

NBMG

YUP, you got it! It's not solely the males on here who are like this and this just goes to prove it.

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Post #: 62

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 6:35:02 AM

jt88atl

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/28/2011
Status: offline

im a guy.. and I may be old fashion.. but I really dont think people should mess with other peoples marriages or familys. I think marriage is hard enough as it is. Maybe you could just keep it cyber or something. Not judging, just my 2 cents worth. JT

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 63

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 6:44:22 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Normal912

I am not a believer in marriage.

I don't believe in Christianity. But I have never destroyed a church.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 64

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 7:03:52 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Well put, Steven.

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Post #: 65

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 7:50:36 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Normal912

I am not a believer in marriage.

I don't believe in Christianity. But I have never destroyed a church.

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Post #: 66

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 8:07:40 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I just happened to coincidentally come across this video yesterday and it made me think of this op. I'm betting she feels something like this too. Not saying I agree with it at all. The woman is despicable in my book.

http://www.hlntv.com/video/2012/06/20/serial-mistress-i-have-never-once-broken-marriage

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Post #: 67

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 10:30:15 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

This just struck me as funny: http://www.thestar.com/living/article/1218474--wedding-ring-leaves-mark-on-finger-that-says-you-are-married

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Post #: 68

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 10:35:30 AM

Southbigdaddy

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/11/2012
Status: offline

Do not get involved, how could you trust a man who cannot be trusted? U have seen and heard it so many times where people get involved and hope things will be better for them, it is very rare for that tobe so.

Not only that but do you not think you deserve all of somones attention? that has nothing to do with being Dom or sub, everyone has value, in fact subs more so.

Walk away, far away.

Bill

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 69

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 11:39:14 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Normal912
I appreciate your response, littlewonder. I am still new to this site and don't understand why so many men on here post that they're married but are looking. I thought maybe there was a loophole for these kind of relationships. I actually haven't made up my mind completely yet. Sometimes I just need a virtual face slap.

There's lots of possible reasons for that. I'm married. I also own my wife. If I decided to add a third then I'd be "married but looking". Or, maybe it's a vanilla guy/gal and there is some arrangement between them which allows this. You can't judge much by the fact of marriage alone. What you CAN bank on is what KYsissy mentioned... honor, integrity, honesty, transparency.

It's likely to be a reasonable arrangement IF you have verified by your own senses that all parties are on board. If one party does not want to allow that then it's almost certainly simply "cheating". That has to leave you wondering if you want to submit to a person who lacks honor.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Normal912)

Post #: 70

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 12:37:50 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

This just struck me as funny: http://www.thestar.com/living/article/1218474--wedding-ring-leaves-mark-on-finger-that-says-you-are-married

It used to be so easy to catch a married man with just a glance at the fingers. Unfortunately cheaters finally figured it out and just never wear a ring and give some excuse to the wife....I lost it, I can't wear it because of work, I have a metal allergy, yada, yada, yada.

And I have a feeling most men are gonna look at that ring and scream "HELL NO! Pick out another ring."

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Post #: 71

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 5:46:44 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I can understand why you'd be eager to have the experience that you'd fantasized about in the past. It seems to me that you're trying to sell yourself on it and not seeing things clearly.

What was he doing in Missed Connections? For a married man with any convictions in the relationship that he vowed to honor, this seems to be playing with fire and I have to wonder about his mindset from the start. I don't buy the "he's stuck with her" part. He made a free decision to marry her and has stayed till now, albeit with thoughts of cheating before you even arrived on the scene (missed connections?).

He obviously knows how to end his marriage if he wants to. He doesn't want to end the marriage as he seems to be bent on keeping it by lying to his wife on what he's doing behind her back. The fact that he has a new baby sickens me, what a prize. Putting his dick before his family. I wonder how fast he'd turn on you if you suggested that his wife go out and get laid too- maybe she feels stuck with him and has unrequited kinky needs that he's not fulfilling. Maybe she's got a lifelong dream to be with a cross dresser and feels unfulfilled. Maybe he's a lousy lay, and she needs to get rodgered good and hard so she can then relax and come back home to resume care of their child. How does it sit with you to turn around the kinky needs thing so she's the sad one who is being put upon at having to marry the lame guy who doesn't understand her?

As you can tell by the responses, there is not a loophole for a married cheater. In fact I'd have to say that if we're talking about BDSM relationships, I'd hold a man calling himself Dominant to a higher standard than Mr. Vanilla Date, maybe that's not fair but it's how I feel. I would definitely not see a man as Dominant if he were a cheater. Being as how a BDSM relationship no matter how brief, takes more trust than a usual relationship, I'm not going to choose to be with any cheaters as I have to trust the man I'm with very much to do the things that we will do.

(in reply to Normal912)

Post #: 72

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 6:10:54 PM

bashfulbyte

Posts: 18
Status: offline

I have been the other woman. It was a sugardaddy arrangment, he contacted me because I mentioned D/s in my profile. That is the dynamic that we had and he controlled everything and I was not allowed to date or work. I lucked out in the arrangement department because we had incredible chemistry. I was living "50 shades of Grey" with a married man. He would see me once or twice a week, sometimes for play, sometimes just because he needed a friend. Sometimes we would go on trips and I would have to listen to him talk to his wife on the phone, telling her lies lies lies and damn he was a silver tongued bastard. We ended up falling for eachother. He eventually broke it off because he was getting too attached. He said, "I'm stupid, I'm going to get caught." It wasn't as if I was just dumped, it was as if he had died. It was painful. I think you should consider wether or not its worth it to put yourself in a positon to get attached to a man that would cheat on his wife instead of confront her with their problems and his needs and try to solve them. In my case, he did the same thing to me, After about 6 months he began to actively seek others. The reason he gave me for all this was, "I'm 42, I'm completely grey, I've been with the same woman for 15 years. I just wanted the feeling of going to lunch with an attractive woman. thats all I ever wanted, I would give them 200 dollars to justify me only wanting a lunch date. I never expected to meet anyone like you." Who knows if its true. The play and the closeness and connection we had was great but it was not worth it in the end and I was left devastated and feeling foolish. You may get attached to him and you will always come in second to his wife and children, no matter how bad he says it is at home.

< Message edited by bashfulbyte -- 6/29/2012 6:27:06 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 73

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/29/2012 6:12:16 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I can understand why you'd be eager to have the experience that you'd fantasized about in the past. It seems to me that you're trying to sell yourself on it and not seeing things clearly.

What was he doing in Missed Connections? For a married man with any convictions in the relationship that he vowed to honor, this seems to be playing with fire and I have to wonder about his mindset from the start. I don't buy the "he's stuck with her" part. He made a free decision to marry her and has stayed till now, albeit with thoughts of cheating before you even arrived on the scene (missed connections?).

As you can tell by the responses, there is not a loophole for a married cheater. In fact I'd have to say that if we're talking about BDSM relationships, I'd hold a man calling himself Dominant to a higher standard than Mr. Vanilla Date, maybe that's not fair but it's how I feel. I would definitely not see a man as Dominant if he were a cheater. Being as how a BDSM relationship no matter how brief, takes more trust than a usual relationship, I'm not going to choose to be with any cheaters as I have to trust the man I'm with very much to do the things that we will do.

Lizi,
Forgive me for cutting up your post.

This reminded me of a story in a book I read once.
A woman has an affair with a married man; he was a doctor I think.
It was a passionate love affair and before she ended it her remark was that there was only one thing wrong with him: he cheats on his wife.

edit: clarity

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 6/29/2012 6:37:52 PM >

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(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 74

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 6/30/2012 8:09:29 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

OP, your parents have been there together for you, your whole life. You must have had friends from broken homes growing up. Do you think you would be the person you are today if you were from a single parent home, where the parents hated each other? How did that impact your friends, knowing they couldn't talk to one parent about the other half of their life?

Now, ask your mother if she would have stayed with your father had he cheated on her right after you were born. Ask her how this would have changed your life. Then think if you want to be the one this child holds responsible for the rest of his/her life. Do you want to know that for the next 80 years, someone you don't even know, hates and despises you? Because that is what will happen.

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Post #: 75

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 7/10/2012 10:52:13 PM

deeplove

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline

He is married and probably was married before ...and this is the perfect excuse to came in with the true for one time in his life ...
Why you need a married man ? Did you think about this ?

Sorry for miss spelling i am from Western Europe

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 76

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 7/11/2012 6:16:41 AM

Char2688

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Cheating happens
Lying is a fact of life
Acceptance of others faults is at the enter of all major religions
Ritious indignation is a sin in all major religions
Lots of stones cast here!
Should I assume that the stones were cast by the perfect people only!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 77

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 7/11/2012 7:06:20 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Char2688

Cheating happens
Lying is a fact of life
Acceptance of others faults is at the enter of all major religions
Ritious indignation is a sin in all major religions
Lots of stones cast here!
Should I assume that the stones were cast by the perfect people only!

The OP asked for advice. She was given it. No one said that cheating and lying don't happen. That doesn't mean we should condone them. The majority of people advised her not to do it, some from an ethical standpoint, others thinking of her self-esteem.

When a person goes online and says 'hey guys, I'm considering doing XYZ, what do you think?', people are going to weigh in. Some of those people are likely to disapprove strongly. It's the risk you take posting your problems online.

I don't understand your outrage here. Did you expect everyone to just sit back and say 'your decision, we can't judge'? That would make for a dull forum.

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Post #: 78

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 7/11/2012 7:12:25 AM

Char2688

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

I am not outraged
Simply stating facts
I also thought it would stir the pot a little
Stirring the pot keeps forums from getting boring

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 79

RE: Should I or Shouldn't I???? - 7/11/2012 7:15:42 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Normal912
I find it interesting that most of the responses are from sub/domme females. I have yet to hear a males side.

Here's a dominant male side.

I see nothing wrong with it. I don't mean this as an insult, simply an observation. You have no honor. He has no honor. It's almost certain his wife has no honor. Honestly, I don't think it really matters what you do or don't do... just do it far away from me please. I'm sure the train wreck will be spectacular but honestly when it happens can you keep it to yourself rather than splattering it across some relationship board somewhere or another?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Normal912)

Post #: 80

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