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Kana -> RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason (7/2/2012 9:04:17 AM)
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Ya know, I'm not trying to be an ass here, but sometimes folks just crack me up.
I'm not saying this to blow my own horn, or to sound like I'm all the worlds biggest hunk or anything, but all this virtue running amok cracks me up. It just doesn't match my experience, not in the least.
Again, I'm not trying to brag but laying out the facts from my experience here.
(And I'm gonna get killed for this-oh how I am gonna pay)
Start with the fact that I've been on here a loooooong time. As such, I've met more than my share of women from here. Sometimes I've talked to them for a months before we met, others only a very little. Matter of fact the first gal I really "met" here I talked to for only two nights, maybe 3 hours total, before we made plans to meet and two days later I was in the car heading west (Buttressing this comment-most of the...sigh, I hate to use this word, but I can't think of a better, real, or perhaps I should say committed, women have almost always been pretty quick to meet-they don't wanna waste time and neither do I. We both got itches that need scratching).
Either way, the vast, and I mean like 90% or so, are more than willing to fuck...or at a minimum play... on the first meet. Maybe not right out the gate, but usually by about 1/2 way through coffee I can tell.
Now, there have been times I've met women strictly with the intent to ravage. I've had chicks fly in for a weekend, beaten her, raped her ten times sideways, pissed on her, stuffed her with a toilet brush and hot peppers and in general had a lovely time together... and when we met she knew what she was in for and committed to it. Hell, that WAS the reason she had come so far.
Cripes, she went so far as to put her collar on in the airport and was naked and wet under her clothes when I met her at the terminal.
We discussed parameters beforehand. It was understood that the reason they were coming was for such treatment, that by showing they were agreeing to anything within the pre-arranged boundaries.
I've also met chicks who started with an interest or an inkling that quickly degenerated. (Chortles. I remember walking through a museum with a gal I had just met, sniffing close when I leaned in to whisper something to her, and realizing I could smell her wetness...which, of course being the dick that I am, I pointed out to her, watching her blush in humiliation and degradation, which only made her wetter. Yeah, that was a fun date.)
Either way, chicks ain't all legs glued together like I see propagated so much on the boards.
To be flat out honest, usually it's something I discuss before we meet. I say something like, "Hey, we are meeting because I like you, or may like you, and you like me, or at least are attracted enough to pursue this and see how they go. Understand this walking in. I am going into this with intent. If I like you, if I am attracted, feel that sexual energy, I'm gonna make a move, make sure you know how I feel. What you do with that is both up to and on you.
If you respond in kind, I'm going to take charge from there on out.
That's why we are meeting. Because you are a slut and I'm a dominant. You have needs that I can perhaps sate and I, I have twisted bent desires that you can mayhaps help me fulfill.
I don't like to dick around. If I feel that electricity I'm gonna want to know if we synch in play.
Or are we just wasting time? In which case, lets find out up front so we can each move on to someone who we may click with.
Not to mention that I'm kinda an alpha male predator, which comes out like a ravenous beast sometimes in these instances."
So they know who and what I am before we meet, and know, in no uncertain terms, exactly where I am coming from and what I may expect of them.
And guess what? Most of the women I've talked to over the years love it. They love the confidence. They love the control. They love the fact that I'll lay down parameters before we meet and that they can either take it or leave it. They love the fact that they are finally not talking to some ridiculous wanker but are actually getting directions/seduced/sucked in by a cat who knows what he's about.
And ya know what? It's worked out great.
I've had some terrific experiences, met some amazing women (Almost all of whom I think fondly of to this day- a feeling that AFAIK is reciprocated). Some of the meets never became anything-no sex, no play despite the fact the chance was there because I didn't like the vibe for whatever reason. Some turned into great friendships. Others were one-shots, either the play didn't click or maybe the person had circumstances that prevented things from going further. Some emerged into relationships, which didn't last/work out for a variety of reasons (Usually flaws on my part), and of course, I met the lilone and you all know how that's worked out :-)
So why say this when I probably gonna get pilloried for it?
Because I have sat back for years and heard people weighing in on these sorts of instances, I don't want to use the words sit in moral judgement, so lets say condemn playing/fucking on first meet and while it may or may not be a great idea, it just doesn't match my experience...and I doubt I'm the only one.
This is a BDSM sex site, basically a personals site with some cool forum discussions from time to time. And most of the folks here, for good are bad, are trying to hook up (Or at least they were before the Nigerian scammers arrived in droves, but that's a different forum). And lots and lots of em do. Regularly.
Again, I'm not getting into the ideal. just stating the reality as I've seen it.
So I'm not gonna cream someone who fucks/plays quick in a discussion. What I will do is encourage them to be careful, to protect themselves, to walk in with clear eyes and true vision. In other words, be a responsible rational adult who knows what they are getting into and protect themselves accordingly.
You know, like any other chick who goes home with a guy she met at a bar or any similar thing.
Just sayin...
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