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RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 6:45:45 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I agree with KAna and Lady P. That being said, I HAVE traveled overseas, with no more than skype and email before hand. and at the end, while the sex was awesome, we ultimately decided we were better off as friends than as partners.

hey, I consider that a win...LOL


< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 7/3/2012 6:47:15 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 6:59:59 AM   
bashfulbyte


Posts: 18
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

A very good post, Kana. Absolutely credit where it is due.
At the same time, I am not 25 and I am not naive. Sport fucking and I don't mix and I'm more than well aware enough of life in general to know that dick just isn't that hard to find. Going 1300 miles for it, to Me, is a travesty. That's called the 'you'd better have a real time, long term relationship to go through all of that' scenario.




I didn't travel for sport fucking. This: 'you'd better have a real time, long term relationship to go through all of that' is what the trip was for. I had severely misjudged this person because I hadn't had any RT with them. But you are damn right I was pissed I didn't at least get any good fuck out of it and its part of the reason I stuck around the entire week... He build it up like he had the golden dick. you know, at least I'm going away with a consolation prize, but didn't even get that. He gave me a little taste then denied me and probably got off on it. I don't give a crap about the ahole or his reasons anymore; he obviously has issues and I hope he works them out and finds someone he can/wants to get close to.

< Message edited by bashfulbyte -- 7/3/2012 7:09:54 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:10:52 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Either way, the vast, and I mean like 90% or so, are more than willing to fuck...or at a minimum play... on the first meet. Maybe not right out the gate, but usually by about 1/2 way through coffee I can tell.


They'll fuck at Starbucks?!?

I've gone from Starbucks to the guy's house to play, but I do insist on an initial vanilla meeting. I want to see if he's gained 50# and aged 15 years since the pics (which happened once.) I also want to get an in-person read, which only takes seconds, but if I'm in the market for a relationship, I will want to have much longer conversations.

I can generally discern between relationship oriented guys and sport fuckers, and don't expect the sport fucking to turn into a relationship, but judging from the volume of "Disappearing Dom" threads we get here, a lot of women can't tell the difference, so to err on the side of caution, on those threads I always recommend they go slowly.

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(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:19:02 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

He gave me a little taste then denied me and probably got off on it. I don't give a crap about the ahole or his reasons anymore, he obviously has issues and they are not my problem. At least I learned something.


I do not see where he had issues, other than expecting to have you ready to fuck immediately, which is what I would expect of someone drove that far to meet me.

You said no, then you are mad because he didn't bow down to feast at the pussy that is yours when you decided you wanted a consolation prize?

Seriously, I would suggest that you reexamine all that happened on this trip, and perhaps, stick to meeting someone and getting to know them in a vanilla sense before fucking.

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RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:24:22 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bashfulbyte
I didn't travel for sport fucking. This: 'you'd better have a real time, long term relationship to go through all of that' is what the trip was for. I had severely misjudged this person because I hadn't had any RT with them. But you are damn right I was pissed I didn't at least get any good fuck out of it and its part of the reason I stuck around the entire week... He build it up like he had the golden dick. you know, at least I'm going away with a consolation prize, but didn't even get that. He gave me a little taste then denied me and probably got off on it. I don't give a crap about the ahole or his reasons anymore; he obviously has issues and I hope he works them out and finds someone he can/wants to get close to.


Honey, that's what I meant. For 1300 miles, that man had better be married to you, in a dynamic with you, or something seriously established to you. Heck, the only man that I'm willing to travel those kind of miles for is My husband. Not some random dude that I met on the net.

I have to wonder a bit if you see yourself as the prize that you are. No cutie like you should have to look very far beyond her own backyard to have the right men lining up. If you don't know that, we might have to fix that first before you go on any more 'trips'.




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(in reply to bashfulbyte)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:28:32 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
They'll fuck at Starbucks?!?

If that were the case, I might seriously reconsider My stance of not drinking coffee.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:33:08 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*looks for a local Starbucks*
you don't think they'd be put off by a needle play session, do you, LadyP?

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:35:25 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Fuck, and I thought it was just me. Since Kana's fessed up, I may as well.

Nine times out of ten I end up fucking, spanking, pissing etc on a first date.

One of the reasons is that, on account of only getting to know people I'd want to meet in r/l I make sure she's not surprised by my appearance or personality when we meet up (I mean, what the fuck is the point of sending a pic that's 10 years and 50lbs out of date if you expect to meet them in person?????).

And the number of times I've had a filthy little stoat of a chick declare afterwards "oh I NEVER normally fuck on the first date but...."

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Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:38:20 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		so, ML.. when yacoming to Georgia? lol

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 7:42:53 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*looks for a local Starbucks*
you don't think they'd be put off by a needle play session, do you, LadyP?

You should see the *huge* box I just got.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 8:38:35 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		fast reply

I don't always fuck on the first date, but when I do, it is magnificent!

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:03:56 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

I do not see where he had issues, other than expecting to have you ready to fuck immediately, which is what I would expect of someone drove that far to meet me.


Actually, I'm going to disagree. The only times that he tried to initiate sex were when she was asleep.

The scene where he deliberately hurt another woman by using the OP as a weapon.

These indicate issues.


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(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:05:42 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		Didn't she indicate in her OP that she had told him she wanted to be waked up with sex though? I will go reread-lol.

quote:

He attempted to have his way with me during the night (we discussed this on the phone and I said I would like it) But I was being woken during the wrong phase of sleep and couldnt stay awake. I mumbled something about being unable to wake up and he got off me. I think I insulted him or hurt his feelings... but I didn't mean he had to stop!


Thank goodness I did not imagine that.

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 7/3/2012 9:07:05 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:30:35 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I find it interesting that so many fuck or play on the first meet. If it was someone like Kana, I can see why! :)

But I am someone who does not like to chat forever or have endless emails before meeting. I usually move to phone and if I like how someone sounds I will meet them.

9 times out of 10, I have found I was not blown away enough that I would have sex or play.

For me, I need the chemistry to build and I need to see or speak to the person a few times. Then it usually turns out amazing.

Now that I am older, even if I felt like I wanted a guy to grab me by the hair immediately, I still wait.

I don't meet many who make me feel that way as it is.



< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 7/3/2012 9:32:11 AM >

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:40:29 AM   
bashfulbyte


Posts: 18
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
Didn't she indicate in her OP that she had told him she wanted to be waked up with sex though? I will go reread-lol.


It came up in conversation as in would I be opposed to my partner doing this, not that I had a deliberate thing for it. There was a long list of things that were discussed but this was the only thing that happened other than the massage and that didn't even come up until the phone call we had the evening after the first day of driving out. I informed him the next day that I didn't want to do anything else unprotected his response was about not cumming and I said it didn't make a difference. He just went silent when I said this. Later, we were doing some manual play and he tried to make me swallow but I would not submit to it. Every time thereafter when he was trying to get me in the middle of the night or wake me up in the morning he wasn't wearing a condom either and I would stop it once I realized what was going on. I know it can be a passion killer but its not something I'm willing to budge on. If he percieved it as me topping from the bottom or something, after we discussed it, and thats part of what turned him off then good riddance.

< Message edited by bashfulbyte -- 7/3/2012 9:52:32 AM >

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:45:00 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I find it interesting that so many fuck or play on the first meet. If it was someone like Kana, I can see why! :)

But I am someone who does not like to chat forever or have endless emails before meeting. I usually move to phone and if I like how someone sounds I will meet them.

9 times out of 10, I have found I was not blown away enough that I would have sex or play.

For me, I need the chemistry to build and I need to see or speak to the person a few times. Then it usually turns out amazing.

Now that I am older, even if I felt like I wanted a guy to grab me by the hair immediately, I still wait.

I don't meet many who make me feel that way as it is.




Waiting can also be extra good. This is such ancient history for me, I don't know, has the sexual zeitgeist changed? I do what I want to do, when I want to, and it takes so very much for a man to even get on my radar in the first place that if it's "that kind" of meet, there will be some sort of something.


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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:47:27 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bashfulbyte


quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
Didn't she indicate in her OP that she had told him she wanted to be waked up with sex though? I will go reread-lol.


It came up in conversation as in would I be opposed to my partner doing this, not that I had a deliberate thing for it. There was a long list of things that were discussed but this was the only thing that happened other than the massage and that didn't even come up until the phone call we had the evening after the first day of driving out. I informed him the next day that I didn't want to do anything else unprotected his response was about not cumming and I said it didn't make a difference. He just went silent when I said this. Later, we were doing some manual play and he tried to make me swallow but I would not submit to it. Every time thereafter when he was trying to get me in the middle of the night or wake me up in the morning he wasn't wearing a condom either and I would stop it once I realized what was going on.

I believe you, and I do not think you are a bad person, nor am I trying to mamke you feel bad, but,

quote:

He attempted to have his way with me during the night (we discussed this on the phone and I said I would like it) But I was being woken during the wrong phase of sleep and couldnt stay awake. I mumbled something about being unable to wake up and he got off me. I think I insulted him or hurt his feelings... but I didn't mean he had to stop!


you are saying something totally different now, than you did in the OP. If your communication was like this with him, I can understand his confusion and frustration.

Like others have said to you, you are young and gorgeous, you should be able to have your pick of GOOD men. Find one of them. If you keep getting in to relationships with men who are not good men, look within your self for the reason.

Good luck.

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yep

(in reply to bashfulbyte)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:48:44 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I agree. I used to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted back in the day.

I have learned that many things in life are better when anticipation and desire are built up; based on mutual chemistry, not momentary horniness.

It just does not work that way for me anymore.

Although I will never say never...you don't know who might be walking around the next corner, but I stand by what I believe, for me.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:49:40 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I informed him the next day that I didn't want to do anything else unprotected his response was about not cumming and I said it didn't make a difference. He just went silent when I said this. Later, we were doing some manual play and he tried to make me swallow but I would not submit to it. Every time thereafter when he was trying to get me in the middle of the night or wake me up in the morning he wasn't wearing a condom either and I would stop it once I realized what was going on.


NEXT

I don't understand the mindset that would allow you to create your OP.

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(in reply to bashfulbyte)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Being snubbed and not given a reason - 7/3/2012 9:50:09 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I find it interesting that so many fuck or play on the first meet. If it was someone like Kana, I can see why! :)

But I am someone who does not like to chat forever or have endless emails before meeting. I usually move to phone and if I like how someone sounds I will meet them.

9 times out of 10, I have found I was not blown away enough that I would have sex or play.

For me, I need the chemistry to build and I need to see or speak to the person a few times. Then it usually turns out amazing.

Now that I am older, even if I felt like I wanted a guy to grab me by the hair immediately, I still wait.

I don't meet many who make me feel that way as it is.



I am with you about the not chatting a lot before meeting. In person is the only way to know if there is chemistry.

As to the fucking on first date, I did it with my ex husband, which turned in to a 20 year relationship, and with the domly dude, which turned in to one helluva great ride for quite a long time also.

I guess I just feel like if the chemistry is immediate, why wait-lol. So far, it has never led me down the wrong path. I just tend to listen to the voices in my head.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 100
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