quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I find it interesting that so many fuck or play on the first meet. If it was someone like Kana, I can see why! :)

But I am someone who does not like to chat forever or have endless emails before meeting. I usually move to phone and if I like how someone sounds I will meet them.

9 times out of 10, I have found I was not blown away enough that I would have sex or play.

For me, I need the chemistry to build and I need to see or speak to the person a few times. Then it usually turns out amazing.

Now that I am older, even if I felt like I wanted a guy to grab me by the hair immediately, I still wait.

I don't meet many who make me feel that way as it is.

I am with you about the not chatting a lot before meeting. In person is the only way to know if there is chemistry.

As to the fucking on first date, I did it with my ex husband, which turned in to a 20 year relationship, and with the domly dude, which turned in to one helluva great ride for quite a long time also.

I guess I just feel like if the chemistry is immediate, why wait-lol. So far, it has never led me down the wrong path. I just tend to listen to the voices in my head.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

you are saying something totally different now, than you did in the OP. If your communication was like this with him, I can understand his confusion and frustration.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Waiting can also be extra good. This is such ancient history for me, I don't know, has the sexual zeitgeist changed? I do what I want to do, when I want to, and it takes so very much for a man to even get on my radar in the first place that if it's "that kind" of meet, there will be some sort of something.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
Nine times out of ten I end up fucking, spanking, pissing etc on a first date.

quote:


And the number of times I've had a filthy little stoat of a chick declare afterwards "oh I NEVER normally fuck on the first date but...."

quote:

Nothing is hotter than watching some wanton slut crawl on the floor just begging to be taken, and laughing and telling her, "Maybe next time. I made you a promise and you wouldn't want to serve a man lacking
integrity now, would you?"
Its howlingly fun reversing the situation and making those assurances given for her peace of mind turn into restraints that she'd kill to have removed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Either way, the vast, and I mean like 90% or so, are more than willing to fuck...or at a minimum play... on the first meet.

quote:

Yeah as prudish and sex negative as some around here can make women sound

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Either way, the vast, and I mean like 90% or so, are more than willing to fuck...or at a minimum play... on the first meet.

Yeah as prudish and sex negative as some around here can make women sound my experiences with the fairer sex have been along those lines.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Oh my. You are way too nice. I listen to em being all virtuous, swear they ain't cheap (like it's an implied acceptance that, you know, being a guy and all, I am), and I reassure em, promise that I almost never fuck on the first date (Which is absolutely true).
But if we end up playing, I hold fast to my word and don't fuck em, which produces amazing results.
Nothing is hotter than watching some wanton slut crawl on the floor just begging to be taken, and laughing and telling her, "Maybe next time. I made you a promise and you wouldn't want to serve a man lacking
integrity now, would you?"
Its howlingly fun reversing the situation and making those assurances given for her peace of mind turn into restraints that she'd kill to have removed.

Like Mae said, Darling, always leave em wanting more."

quote:

ORIGINAL: bashfulbyte
He wanted to kiss me and hug me but I pulled away and said, "I just met you".
You avoided his attempts to get affectionate.

I got myelf to relax enough to shower and submit to a massage, like he told me he was going to give me after the long drive... It was great, and at least an hour, no one has ever done that for me.
Then you submitted to a massage.

He attempted to have his way with me during the night (we discussed this on the phone and I said I would like it) But I was being woken during the wrong phase of sleep and couldnt stay awake. I mumbled something about being unable to wake up
You rejected his advances again.

and he got off me.
So he avoided you again.

I think I insulted him or hurt his feelings... but I didn't mean he had to stop!
At the very least, you probably confused him by now.

I got over the akwardness and became attracted to him within a couple of days. But after that first night, he was withdrawn from me. He didn't want to play or do anything we talked about on the phone.
So you finally got over the awkwardness but he's already got the message to stay away from you from your previous rejections.

He did try to have his way with me a few more times during the night or early in the morning over my visit but I am not a morning person and was groggy and couldnt think straight and was just a very lousy lay. He didn't show intrest in me any other time.
It sounds like he wanted to be with you but he tried when you were groggy, thinking he might have a better chance of success.

There was an instance where he was on the computer surfing CM and okcupid and I approached him naked and said, "Why is that more interesting than the woman that is already in your house?" He said something along the lines of "It makes me happy to see whats out there" and kept doing it...
Maybe he was frustrated at having you right there and rejecting his advances. I can understand that, but it's still not cool to play mind games. However, in his mind, maybe he thought you were playing mind games too.

After day 3, I was practically throwing myself at him and he was unresponsive. I tried blowing him, I tried saying, "I want to do more than cuddle". I showed him affection throught the day... Nothing. It was inconsistent to the way we discussed things would be on the phone.
On the phone, I'm sure everything was wonderful. But when you first showed up there, you rejected his advances. Now you make a complete turn around, but he's already "learned his lesson" from your previous attitude and behaviors.

I couldn't get an answer and I was unable to get his attention and felt like there was something wrong with me and shut down the day before I left. I tried to kiss him when I was leaving and he was unresponsive to that as well...
By this time, he was probably trying to save himself from any more frustration.

He didn't call me on my way home to check on me. After I left, he never called me again, or initiated contact. I tried to ask him why he wasn't interested and if there was something wrong with me and he wouldn't answer. I left him alone for a week, and didn't hear a thing.
I'm kind of not surprised at that.

Now he has completely banished me altogether, deletes my messages unread, blocked me on IM, won't return my phone calls, and wont even give me a chance to explain myself and won't give me a reason for why things happened like they did. He lied about being unable to take my calls because he lost his phone. He lied about being unable to talk because he was working all day... he had still been logging into these sites and on the instant messenger.
That's his way of saying he's just not into you, whatever the reason(s).

He eventually said he wanted a relationship, not just kinky sex and thought I only wanted kinky sex because I wouldn't communicate why I was upset when I was at his house. I was upset because I was trying to communicate and he would only give me evasive answers or not answer at all.
He was probably confused because of the mixed yes no yes no signals you were giving him, so he didn't know what to say.