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RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 3:32:19 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

Little lady, everyone else can open their own dam doors.
I actualy like doing that to my partners, when getting in
the car, its not really me being curtious though, its more
like "herding the sub" haha.

Heh...Master is just the opposite. He figures why should he have to lift a finger? That's what a slave is for.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 4:54:16 PM

landrezy

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I think this is a lot more sensitive topic than people give it credit for. Crossing the "Money" line is a big, big step for some. I had a playmate who I'd known for years and years. The reason she was a playmate and never a slave is that while she would happily consent to seemingly my most sadistic desires, she absolutely would not surrender control of her finances. It was her hardest of hard limits. Personality wise, she tied a great deal of her personal long-term safety and security to her accumulated nest egg. In some ways, the money she possessed gave her the feeling of freedom to pursue her personal sexual desires.

There's an old line that has always resonated with me, "I believe in your cause but my belief does not go so far as to make me open my wallet." I've run into a few subs who have distinctly requested "financial domination" but all of them have just turned out to be financial fuck-ups who can't balance their own checkbook and need the service of an accountant or a vocational education institution rather than a Dom.

A slave in my service is expected to grant me full access to their finances. I've had two slaves in my life, the first had no money to speak of and was happy to surrender control, the second was a far more complicated situation involving investments, stocks and a financial stake in a struggling company. It was an interesting lesson in the complexities of financial dependance.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 4:59:09 PM

hardcybermaster

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to translate.......... she wouldn't let you scam her

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Post #: 43

RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 7:01:45 PM

MistressBDSMl

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The sub/slave has to trust the Dom/Domme with $ but I think most subs/slaves don't have that kind of trust. If your going to trust them to keep you safe during play why would it be harder to trust them with $? Is money worth more to you then your life? Just my opinion.

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Post #: 44

RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 8:02:14 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

I've had men tell me that they want me to take over EVERYTHING... and after watching my parents, I give that a NO. My dad couldn't write a check to save his soul. When mom got sick (well the first time she got REALLY sick) it was me that was scrambling to find coupon books and bills and such.

My ex D's father handled all the money and when he declined and was unable to do this anymore my ex's mother did not have a clue how to handle money. My ex took over, a source of great frustration to both of them because she'd spend far beyond her means given free rein and he is far more frugal.

She did much better learning how to drive when her husband was no longer able to do this.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 8:03:31 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

The sub/slave has to trust the Dom/Domme with $ but I think most subs/slaves don't have that kind of trust. If your going to trust them to keep you safe during play why would it be harder to trust them with $? Is money worth more to you then your life?

You are talking about two vastly different skill sets.

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Post #: 46

RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 8:42:32 PM

MistressBDSMl

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It's about trust period.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 9:16:32 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

The sub/slave has to trust the Dom/Domme with $ but I think most subs/slaves don't have that kind of trust. If your going to trust them to keep you safe during play why would it be harder to trust them with $? Is money worth more to you then your life?

You are talking about two vastly different skill sets.

also, not all subs/slaves are into any activity that is risking their life.. some subs/slaves are just into submission but not S&M stuff.. me, I am just submissive in the bedroom so the "trust them to keep you safe" doesnt exist and the trust with money is different for subs like me too, imo..

Money problems are a major reason relationships break up and imo most of those couples are doing the pooling money thing (with the wrong person in control).. I prefer to not have that conflict/stress in any future relationship and to me his-is-his and mine-is-mine is much less stressful & problemactic..

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/3/2012 11:15:04 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressBDSMl

It's about trust period.

Not entirely. I'd trust my husband to decide whether to consent to emergency surgery for me if I was unable to do so. Would I trust him to carry out that surgery? Hell no. Someone having good bondage technique doesn't make them good at managing money. I wouldn't be with someone who wasn't, but others may and so I can see how this happens.

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Post #: 49

RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 12:34:53 AM

Winterapple

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FR
This reminds me of the voting thread.
And as with voting I can't imagine being
involved with anyone who would want to
control my life in that way.

Finances are seperate unless we end up
getting married and sharing a household.
The assets I have going into the marriage
would remain in my name and running my
business is for me to do.

Assets and money after being married
would be our money and I would trust
him to oversee it and make the final
decisions. But I would want to know
what was going on because there might
be a time when I'd have to be in charge
of it.

I could happily be a person who let's
someone do all the boring stuff about
finances while I skipped around clueless.
But people who live in bubbles find
themselves all wet when the bubble
burst. And bubbles burst for all sorts
of reasons.

I'd have no problem with my partner
putting me on a budget or giving me
pin money if we were sharing a
household.

I would only marry someone I had trust
trust and faith in. But I don't think
keeping some assets in your name is
a sign of distrust certainly not when
your assets might effect people other
than you and your partner.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 5:34:56 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

The sub/slave has to trust the Dom/Domme with $ but I think most subs/slaves don't have that kind of trust. If your going to trust them to keep you safe during play why would it be harder to trust them with $? Is money worth more to you then your life?

You are talking about two vastly different skill sets.

quote:

It's about trust period.

That's ridiculous. What if I trust someone to Dom me who was an EMT for 10 years, is active in the local community, goes to learning events, and has a mentor with decades of experience but has a terrible credit rating and no savings compared to my perfect credit rating, savings, 401K, and 403B? I should trust him with my finances because I'm sexually submissive? Pfft.

Like I said, two different skills sets, which may exist in the same person, but not necessarily.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 6:01:47 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressBDSMl

The sub/slave has to trust the Dom/Domme with $ but I think most subs/slaves don't have that kind of trust. If your going to trust them to keep you safe during play why would it be harder to trust them with $? Is money worth more to you then your life? Just my opinion.

Master and I don't do anything where my life is at risk...ever (unless you count his driving with me as passenger). I'm not a masochist or pain slut and he is not a sadist. The closest thing that we do that might be considered "risky" is handcuffs, and they have a safety release on them. For us, it is all about the control and submission, but he would never presume to control my finances unless I asked him to.

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Post #: 52

RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 8:34:53 AM

MistressBDSMl

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If a Dom/Domme can't control himself/herself even with money how on earth can he/she control the submissive which they own? I have been in the lifestyle for more then 12 years.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 9:00:23 AM

kalikshama

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And how did your stock portfolio perform during those 12 years? How did you fare during the crash compared to the market? What's your diversification strategy? What's your credit score?

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 9:01:24 AM

MistressBDSMl

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submissiveness is not like a light switch that you turn off and on when it suits your needs as a submissive. And I don't understand being submissive just in the bedroom.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 9:05:34 AM

MistressBDSMl

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I've lived the lifestyle I guess thats what makes it diffrent for me. Enough said

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Post #: 56

RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 9:20:36 AM

mummyman321

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressBDSMl

submissiveness is not like a light switch that you turn off and on when it suits your needs as a submissive. And I don't understand being submissive just in the bedroom.

There are people who a very Dominant in everyday life and are only submissive behind closed doors. This is very common actually. I lean more towards this direction. I am very dominant at work, a gentleman in public, and submissive behind closed doors.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 9:32:04 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I am dominant all the time too. That doesn't mean that I am equally good at everything. Delegation is a mangement skill.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 9:50:52 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

submissiveness is not like a light switch that you turn off and on when it suits your needs as a submissive. And I don't understand being submissive just in the bedroom.

The only area we've explored outside of the bedroom is financial. I've served domestically and as a personal assistant as well.

quote:

I've lived the lifestyle I guess thats what makes it diffrent for me. Enough said

I'm still waiting for you to demonstrate some financial acuity.

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RE: Money & Doming - 7/4/2012 10:04:14 AM

catize

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How does that saying go?????????? "In god(dess) we trust, everyone else pays cash"!!

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