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sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 4:16:57 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		I did not want to hijack another thread where some said a punishment was standing naked in a corner--and it was referred to as a sexual punishment. Why is it considered sexual? Some use bare bottom spankings as punishment? Are those considered sexual punishments? Personally, I would consider neither as sexual punishments.

And why are sexual punishment so taboo? I have been punished in what I consider a truly sexual way and it was effective. I STILL remember to take my cell phone when I leave my house. And I was curbed of putting my fingers in my mouth so much so that I have a difficult time doing it when commanded to. That particular punishment happened over ten years ago and the memory still lingers.

I have been punished in very non sexual ways as well. Those punishments were never effective. I remember the punishments but can now not recall what I was being punished for.


Thoughts?

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 4:33:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		To each their own but for the most part I see sexual "punishments" as funishments unless it's something like taking away her abilities to orgasm because she touched herself when it was against the rules or some other sexual disobedience. To me the punishment should fit the crime.


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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 4:36:31 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Calling something a sexual punishment an ineffective is just the opinion of one or two people for whom such things don't work.  There are NO hard and fast rules to the "right" way of doing things, no matter how many people will try to tell you there is. 

So if those kinds of things work in your relationship, ignore those who say they are "taboo," "bad" or anything else.  After all, you aren't in a relationship with them.

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 4:37:38 PM   
lilcracker


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quote:

To each their own but for the most part I see sexual "punishments" as funishments
Yes I feel that way sometimes too but not if i really disappointed him.

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 4:40:03 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Like I said, if I disappointed him, it depends on what I've done. If I've touched myself without his permission than denial or abilities of orgasms may be taken away but if it was something non sexual then he may punish me with something non sexual such as writing a report, taking something away from me, etc....The punishment fits the crime.

But if you're both doing punishment for the fun of it and you both find it erotic and use it as a way to get off, then to me that's funishment. There's nothing wrong with it but it's not punishment in my eyes.


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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 5:47:16 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		Yes, I know there are no hard fast rules. OMG if there were, i'd so find a new lifestyle. I was just sort of curious since I had never heard any negatives about sexual punishments---seriously and I've been doing this for 20+ years. Maybe it was said before and I missed it. And the fact when I think of sexual punishment, I think sex as in either intercourse or insertion of some sort and yep, denial of sex seems to fit a sexual punishment as well.

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 6:20:28 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		As others have mentioned, what works, works.

I suppose what causes many to want to separate out sexual punishments is that they often seem to create perverse disincentives- for example, the Dom who invents infractions, just because he gets aroused at spanking. Or the submissive who disobeys just to draw out his anger.

And for some people, this sort of unpredictability is a wild turnon. But for many others, it creates mayhem and relationship ending confusion.

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 6:26:43 PM   
Ishtarr


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

And the fact when I think of sexual punishment, I think sex as in either intercourse or insertion of some sort



Is it just me or does this not make sense?

How exactly is sex or insertion made into a punishment? In my book sex = good; insertion = good.

In fact... If a guy is bad enough in bed that sex with him could be considered a punishment... I ain't going to be with him for any length of time.

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 6:45:19 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
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Status: offline 		I can think of, oooooh, 100,000, million billion ways a punishment could be sexual.

Ghost peppers sliced up and shoved in her cunt.
Ice cold water enemas.
Sodomizing her with a studded cock-piece.
Cattleprods against the pussy
Burning her clit with a cigar.
Spreading her with a speculum that's been in the freezer
Skewering her tits, labia, lips, tongue

Oh yeah, there are legions
The only thing that's critical in my mind is that she hates it and suffers greatly while I enjoy it.

< Message edited by Kana -- 7/8/2012 6:49:49 PM >

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:00:05 PM   
LanceHughes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I can think of, oooooh, 100,000, million billion ways a punishment could be sexual.

Ghost peppers sliced up and shoved in her cunt.
Ice cold water enemas.
Sodomizing her with a studded cock-piece.
Cattleprods against the pussy
Burning her clit with a cigar.
Spreading her with a speculum that's been in the freezer
Skewering her tits, labia, lips, tongue

Oh yeah, there are legions
The only thing that's critical in my mind is that she hates it and suffers greatly while I enjoy it.

Problem with the (start of) your list is that those HARM, not hurt.  WHy would you want to harm your property.  Can you spell "resentment"?

Any dog-training book will tell you not to beat your dog. They certainly don't have to tell you to not pierce a dog's tongue for barking.
----------
I'm thinking hard to answer the OP's question and I can think of ..... maybe twisting nipples harder than they usually like.  But since I'm into nipple play and training for more intense nipple play, well, that doesn't work.

We had a contest at a private-home LeatherMen's party to see about fresh Jalepeno slices up the dick and reactions.... baasically WOW!  That's interesting - and now let's get out the sounds, but we're all smart enuf to not push Jalepeno into bladder..... Anway, the blowjobs given to men that DID do the slices were interesting, too.... sort of 2nd hand fun.
----------
Kana, ALL that you mentioned seem to be based on the punishee's non-consent.... Are you NUTS?

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:05:57 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr


quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

And the fact when I think of sexual punishment, I think sex as in either intercourse or insertion of some sort



Is it just me or does this not make sense?

How exactly is sex or insertion made into a punishment? In my book sex = good; insertion = good.

In fact... If a guy is bad enough in bed that sex with him could be considered a punishment... I ain't going to be with him for any length of time.

Not all insertion is good. Anal sex can be painful, fisting can be painful, enema's are used as punishment and last time I checked it was inserting a hose and then water into the anus. Does that make sense?

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:09:08 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

The only thing that's critical in my mind is that she hates it and suffers greatly while I enjoy it.


But isn't this part of your dynamic when you are NOT punishing her too?

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:12:38 PM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		Most of those i thought of too but they don't seem to fit with how narrowly she's defining "sexual".
She's specifically talking about sex and insertion, with spankings being discounted so the burning, piercing, hitting doesn't seem to count.

Now inserting painful stuff, yeah I can see her meaning that, but it still leaves me with questions around the actual intercourse. I dunno maybe I'm just reading what she's meaning too narrowly myself. But I'm really curious as to what these awesome sexual punishments are shes still remembering 10 years later. I've personally yet to find a pepper that causes enough discomfort to stand out THAT distinctly even a month later, and ice cold enema are completely neglectable in that respect.

Maybe internal knife/needle play would be memorable for ten years as far as sexual insertion punishments go? Electrical uretra play? But I've got no experience at all with those. I now just really want to know what exactly she's talking about.

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Ich tu' dir weh.
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Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:14:41 PM   
JstAnotherSub


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quote:

Kana, ALL that you mentioned seem to be based on the punishee's non-consent.... Are you NUTS?
You haven't read a lot of his and LittleWonders posts have ya?

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:15:18 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
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quote:

maybe twisting nipples harder than they usually like
I didn't think of that one but definately qualifies in my book as a sexual punishment at least for me it is.

And I understand the resentment one feels with punishment and for me the non sexual ones always caused resentment. Example, ignoring me, denying visits...

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:16:23 PM   
Kana


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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

Kana, ALL that you mentioned seem to be based on the punishee's non-consent.... Are you NUTS?


1-Why would I want to hurt her? Because I'm a sadist.

2-Actually, I've done lots of these things with the consent of the slut (Points at the cattleprod thread-lets the reader decide which one he has yet to do).
Hell, usually it's just been in a scene.
Double hell, after the fact, they've admitted to, in that twisted lovely maso way, loving to hate it/me and hating to love it/me.
Triple hell-they came back for a round two, three, five, seven hundred!

"Made a meal outta me, come back for more."

3-Are you really asking if I'm nuts? After all my time posting here? I mean seriously, after all these years of posting I would have guessed that all ya muthers knew I was certifiable.
Cripes, I thought such questions were long since considered moot. :-)

< Message edited by Kana -- 7/8/2012 7:19:07 PM >

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:18:06 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

The only thing that's critical in my mind is that she hates it and suffers greatly while I enjoy it.


But isn't this part of your dynamic when you are NOT punishing her too?

True, but the main difference is in the mental dynamic.
When it's play, I tell her how much I love her while I'm trying to tear her tits off :-0

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:20:27 PM   
Ishtarr


Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr


quote:

ORIGINAL: lilcracker

And the fact when I think of sexual punishment, I think sex as in either intercourse or insertion of some sort



Is it just me or does this not make sense?

How exactly is sex or insertion made into a punishment? In my book sex = good; insertion = good.

In fact... If a guy is bad enough in bed that sex with him could be considered a punishment... I ain't going to be with him for any length of time.

Not all insertion is good. Anal sex can be painful, fisting can be painful, enema's are used as punishment and last time I checked it was inserting a hose and then water into the anus. Does that make sense?


Yep that answers it. Thanks.

I guess it's just different tastes then cause most of those just sound like fun to me.

< Message edited by Ishtarr -- 7/8/2012 7:25:49 PM >

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Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:21:40 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline 		I don't see hurting her as punishment... that's just me.

I agree, depending on what is done, written reports, essays are good, so is denial of many forms. But causing pain, that is just arousing...

Shrug, what the fuck do I know? Where did I put those candles?

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RE: sexual punishments-I just had to ask - 7/8/2012 7:22:33 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
quote:

1-Why would I want to hurt her? Because I'm a sadist.
 HURT, good.  HARM, not good.
quote:

2-Actually, I've done lots of these things with the consent of the slut (Points at the cattleprod thread-lets the reader decide which one he has yet to do).
Hell, usually it's just been in a scene.
Double hell, after the fact, they've admitted to, in that twisted lovely maso way, loving to hate it/me and hating to love it/me.
Triple hell-they came back for a round two, three, five, seven hundred!

"Made a meal outta me, come back for more."
 Consensual == > not punishment
quote:

Kana, ALL that you mentioned seem to be based on the punishee's non-consent.... Are you NUTS?

quote:


3-Are you really asking if I'm nuts? After all this time posting here? I mean seriously, after all these years of posting I would have guessed that all ya muthers knew I was certifiable.
Cripes, I thought such questions were considered moot. :-)
I think the word you are looking for is "rhetorical" and yes, that was a rhetorical question.

 



< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/8/2012 7:28:26 PM >

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