Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (Full Version)

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OneKinkyArtist -> Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:00:40 PM)

I ask this question as I peruse through the dommes in my city that pique my interest and what I find is that all of the ones Ive seen are professional or financial Dominants. Now while I cant knock what the next person does I can say that I am at a lost for words on how disheartening it is for that to be so. I fancy myself a honest and true person , yet it is hard to find a Female Dominant when you dont have the money to allow them to control. I have many other uses both sexully and non sexually that I feel could be of major use. COuld anyone help me under stand this "phenomenon"




GreedyTop -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:05:00 PM)

pique, not peak.




OneKinkyArtist -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:06:11 PM)

thanks!!




Lockit -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:07:32 PM)

I tend to depend on common sense and things that are said and done. Starting out proving someone has the money to send, doesn't mean they are willing or good at anything other than sending some money.

I can't help you understand it... that you have to find on your own, but not everyone works that way.




OneKinkyArtist -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:09:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I tend to depend on common sense and things that are said and done. Starting out proving someone has the money to send, doesn't mean they are willing or good at anything other than sending some money.

I can't help you understand it... that you have to find on your own, but not everyone works that way.


I thought thats how things were. I have a full understanding how some have their own preferences and such, but its hard out here for a switch lol




Slavehandsome -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:14:00 PM)

You seem like you're going to two different directions here. The title of this thread is the first, then there's your observation of the 'phenomenon' that you've found. To address the title of this thread, the answer is no. Being a pro or fin domme is not the only way to test authenticity. You could test their authenticity in any of the creative ways you can imagine, examples being that they must keep a journal, send you photos of assignments, they cannot cum without your permission etc. To address the 'phenomenon', I believe what you have found is quite common. Online here its easy to come across a professional dominatrix who is trying to bolster their schedule of sessions. In my opinion, you should not feel intimidated, threatened or left out because you see them, but more to the point, you should know that you're in the right place. Whatever skills you have that 'could be of major use' can, yes, be of major use. Its just a matter of finding the right guy or girl who you can connect with. That may put you in competition with some of these professionals, but you'll find that not every sub is looking for a professional. As for the financial dominants, those are almost always an online arrangement. Its easy for a woman to get on cam and connect with guys who are willing to do that. There is almost no financial domination going on in sessions offline. Overall, do not be worried about what you find here, instead, turn that around and try to learn from everybody you come across, and you'll grow within yourself. Best of luck to you!





LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:18:36 PM)

My pro clients were very rarely submissives. They were paying for my very skilled services.

What does offering someone money prove? My personal time is valuable, but my attention can't be purchased with things or cash.





OneKinkyArtist -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:18:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavehandsome

You seem like you're going to two different directions here. The title of this thread is the first, then there's your observation of the 'phenomenon' that you've found. To address the title of this thread, the answer is no. Being a pro or fin domme is not the only way to test authenticity. You could test their authenticity in any of the creative ways you can imagine, examples being that they must keep a journal, send you photos of assignments, they cannot cum without your permission etc. To address the 'phenomenon', I believe what you have found is quite common. Online here its easy to come across a professional dominatrix who is trying to bolster their schedule of sessions. In my opinion, you should not feel intimidated, threatened or left out because you see them, but more to the point, you should know that you're in the right place. Whatever skills you have that 'could be of major use' can, yes, be of major use. Its just a matter of finding the right guy or girl who you can connect with. That may put you in competition with some of these professionals, but you'll find that not every sub is looking for a professional. As for the financial dominants, those are almost always an online arrangement. Its easy for a woman to get on cam and connect with guys who are willing to do that. There is almost no financial domination going on in sessions offline. Overall, do not be worried about what you find here, instead, turn that around and try to learn from everybody you come across, and you'll grow within yourself. Best of luck to you!





Thank you for that very great observation and wisdom




LadyPact -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:24:04 PM)

I'm afraid I'm not the one to help you with this. I don't gauge a person's potential as a submissive by money they can send Me. Generally, My first engagement with someone is to tell them what munch I will be at next. If they don't have a scheduling conflict, I expect them to show up.

I do watch how people treat the wait staff. I notice if he checks the level of My drink during the meal. If there is a play party following, I see how he treats others there as well. The person gets bonus points if they offer to help out in some way, making sure that I don't mind if he goes to do so. I look for stuff like opening doors for Me, asking Me if there is something in particular that I would like him to do, etc.

The money thing has just never been a part of My evaluation.




OneKinkyArtist -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:27:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm afraid I'm not the one to help you with this. I don't gauge a person's potential as a submissive by money they can send Me. Generally, My first engagement with someone is to tell them what munch I will be at next. If they don't have a scheduling conflict, I expect them to show up.

I do watch how people treat the wait staff. I notice if he checks the level of My drink during the meal. If there is a play party following, I see how he treats others there as well. The person gets bonus points if they offer to help out in some way, making sure that I don't mind if he goes to do so. I look for stuff like opening doors for Me, asking Me if there is something in particular that I would like him to do, etc.

The money thing has just never been a part of My evaluation.



I swear thats what I thought mattered until I started sending pleasant messages and not being the cliche overzealous sex crazed person. I look to meet the person on an even plain and then let the laws of attraction take over.




thishereboi -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:35:21 PM)

According to your profile "My wonderful entrance into the world of D/s M/s BDsM etc etc etc came in the fall of 1998" so you are not a newbie and it mentions Chicago. Now I know for a fact that there are fem dommes there who are not pro's because I have played with them. I've been to several events and play parties there and met tons of people. Not one of them mentioned money. Maybe you should step away from your computer for a bit and get out and meet some people.




Privileged -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 2:44:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

...Starting out proving someone has the money to send, doesn't mean they are willing or good at anything other than sending some money.



No lie detected.

I expect tribute on contact if I'm approached via messenger. If a sub doesn't adhere to that rule, it says something about his character. Not necessarily his "authenticity"

Because I am a nitpicker extraordinaire, I have to say I don't see any service offers in your profile. Perhaps an edit is in order?




Lockit -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 3:30:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Privileged


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

...Starting out proving someone has the money to send, doesn't mean they are willing or good at anything other than sending some money.



No lie detected.

I expect tribute on contact if I'm approached via messenger. If a sub doesn't adhere to that rule, it says something about his character. Not necessarily his "authenticity"

Because I am a nitpicker extraordinaire, I have to say I don't see any service offers in your profile. Perhaps an edit is in order?


Excuse me?




Privileged -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 3:37:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit


quote:

ORIGINAL: Privileged


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

...Starting out proving someone has the money to send, doesn't mean they are willing or good at anything other than sending some money.



No lie detected.

I expect tribute on contact if I'm approached via messenger. If a sub doesn't adhere to that rule, it says something about his character. Not necessarily his "authenticity"

Because I am a nitpicker extraordinaire, I have to say I don't see any service offers in your profile. Perhaps an edit is in order?


Excuse me?

I quoted your reply and said "no lie detected" meaning, true/fact/I agree. The rest was to the OP.




Lockit -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 3:41:28 PM)

Well fuck wench, I didn't realize I needed a lie detector.

Who the fuck are you to tell the op what to put in his profile? He doesn't have to have anything about service provisions in his profile, nor does he have to answer to you... now does he?




Privileged -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 3:54:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Well fuck wench, I didn't realize I needed a lie detector.

Who the fuck are you to tell the op what to put in his profile? He doesn't have to have anything about service provisions in his profile, nor does he have to answer to you... now does he?


Lemme try this again: "No lies detected" is an expression. Are you as offended when people agree by saying "THIS"? Because it means the same thing.

I have some questions:
Are everyone's observations and suggestions unwelcome? Or just mine?
Why are you swearing and calling me names?
What are you really pressed about?





OneKinkyArtist -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 4:07:22 PM)

I didnt feel it was necessary to put any service offered in my profile simply because that would be something spoke upon after the initial conversation which seems to be hard to come about period. Im not the doormat type at all. I am a real person and my submission or even psuedo submission would be to the person that I can click with.




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 6:52:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

pique, not peak.


(Tank ewe!)




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 6:54:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneKinkyArtist

I ask this question as I peruse through the dommes in my city that pique my interest and what I find is that all of the ones Ive seen are professional or financial Dominants. Now while I cant knock what the next person does I can say that I am at a lost for words on how disheartening it is for that to be so. I fancy myself a honest and true person , yet it is hard to find a Female Dominant when you dont have the money to allow them to control. I have many other uses both sexully and non sexually that I feel could be of major use. COuld anyone help me under stand this "phenomenon"


Loss....not lost.

Don't...not dont.

An...not a.

Ah shit....I can't go on.....




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is being a Pro/FinDomme the only way to test a prospective submissives authenticity? (7/11/2012 6:55:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

My pro clients were very rarely submissives. They were paying for my very skilled services.

What does offering someone money prove? My personal time is valuable, but my attention can't be purchased with things or cash.




Mine can be.

My favorite color is cash.




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