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RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 5:27:01 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
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Can't see why anyone would have a problem with that, but you're dealing with some massive egos here, so perhaps it increases someone's self-esteem to make you feel it's wrong.

Common courtesy, like chivalry, isn't really dead. It's just hiding out.

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(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 21

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 5:28:04 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

omg.. I did that too just to see what would happen... I would wonder if it was the same person.... but he asked if I had yahoo and a cam...LOL

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 22

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 5:31:33 PM

SpielMitMir

Posts: 80
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Pittsburgh/Chicago
Status: offline

I don't like it when someone asked me to IM them in the very first message.

I have no idea what you want. I don't know if we have anything in commen. I don't see the point in added someone else on my list that I will never talk to. If you can not wait until I am ready to talk off this site. Then you are not worth my time.

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 23

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 5:32:04 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Lovely new pic, juliaoceania!

TM

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 24

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 5:35:22 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Thank you both TexasMa'am and eroticangel...smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 25

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 5:49:48 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gov51

I always start my messages out with a simple Hello, How are you? Introducing myself, showing my interest.

I'm getting really tired of people saying this is not acceptable. Since when do you tell your whole lifestyle and everything about yourself to someone you've never spoken too? Whatever happened to chatting and conversing? Isn't a profile enough for general interest?

I can certainly empathize with you regarding this phenomenon. There is a lot of laziness and game playing on-line, and it comes from both sides of the fence. While one-liners aren't my thing, I do prefer a simple exchange of communication in the beginning, rather than a ten-paragraph essay hurled at my mailbox from some distant corner of cyberspace.

The simple fact remains that there is nothing wrong with saying hello and displaying genuine interest on-line, but in this world of instant gratification, that's often "not acceptable" anymore. But can you blame them? Drive-throughs, nacho cheesier Doritos, and Tivo are just a few of the culprits behind this need to be hit by an eighteen-wheeler in order to pay any notice to anyone anymore.

(in reply to Gov51)

Post #: 26

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 6:05:46 PM

Gov51

Posts: 7
Status: offline

Wow, thanks for all the great responses. Wasn't expecting so many people :)

I believe pre-wrote messages or fill in the blank messages would be even worse than just Hello. Personally I would take them as a huge sign of disrepect.

I guess im just not used too the whole online thing, usually meeting people in real life where its a totally different scenario. Thanks for all the suggestions though, i'll make sure to start saying a little more than Hello

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 27

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 6:43:23 PM

BreakMeShakeMe

Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline

Let's see today i've had a ......... "Hi i'm Master (Fill in name here) add me to your yahoo so we can talk better...." Nope.. didn't happen.... then there was the "Hi" ..... my response was "that's it?? lol" ....... Then there was the best one... "Hi I'm Master (fill in name here) and you will add me to yahoo... with a cam.. and let me begin your training."....Well yall that know me...I couldn't let that one pass...I had some smart ass response...I just got his reply... it was...all in caps..."fuck you ... you fat ass cunt"....roflmao

So it is damned if you do... damned if you don't....so dammit.. i'm just gonna be damned and git'r done!!!.....roflmao

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

(in reply to Gov51)

Post #: 28

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 6:45:11 PM

zumala

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

There's nothing wrong with it, but it does show minimal effort so I'm not sure why you'd expect more than minimal effort in return. For me, I prefer not to get to know someone one sentence at a time. Most of the time I ignore these types of perfunctory messages. One time I decied to respond in kind. Here's a synopsis of how it went:

His email: hi how r u?
My response: Hi. Fine thanks.

His email: u have msn?
My response: Yes.

His email: wanna chat?
My response: No thanks.

These types of 'interactions' (for lack of a better term) really don't pique my interest. I dunno, maybe my standards are too high.

*shudders* Ugh, I get that ALL the TIME. My thoughts are usually A) are you just that stupid? or B) are you just that lazy? OR C) Do you think I'M that stupid?

Oh, and messaging me to say 'Hi. I like your picture. U R cute. Wanna IM?' won't get you far, either. I'm a person, not jack-off bait, which is what that type of introduction makes me think of.

zuma

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 29

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/8/2006 7:03:22 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

You know, this is text chatting. We can't see you, you can't catch our eye, there's nothing to make you stand out from the crowd of others in our email box except your email. Do you really think "Hello" is going to cut it?

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to zumala)

Post #: 30

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/9/2006 12:01:06 PM

servicing

Posts: 18
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: servicing

I think the ladies mailbox gets more messages than the guys. Since there is only so much time in the day to respond, yours may be getting bumped for someone who can write better. Open word and write a good half page about stuff. Keep a few lines where you can insert their handle and some info about stuff you pick out from their ad to "personalize" your intro. Now you have a really nice intro that seems like you took a lot of to create just for them. Yea it would be nice to create an intro for each person that really shows your interest, but since the common method of brushing someone off is a lack of response, it's not worth your time either. However, I suggest if you do get good genuine replys back, take time to genuinely answer them cause thems the cooler people. My experience of the ratio of no replies to cooler people is about 5%. But of course I write genuine intros to every person I would like to get to know. Also, I don't know how saying you're looking for whores out front is too good. Think the female subs demand a higher standard than the males are given.

We can spot cut and paste mail a mile away. That is a definite way to get no response.
You can say hello, but then say something else to catch our interest. You are a stranger, remember.
Be yourself and make it apparent that you've read our entire profile. Make your letter individual to who you're sending it to. And then just hope there's a spark or some chemistry...because that's what will be needed to get to the next level.

Lol, surely it's not a problem when you letting the other now about yourself. What I find interesting in you would indeed be original and could consist of a couple lines, a paragraph or maybe more. What I'd like you to know about me up front, might not change at all from one person to the next unless there are common interests that attracted me in the first place I'm trying to relate to them.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 31

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/9/2006 12:12:34 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

quote:

I always start my messages out with a simple Hello, How are you? Introducing myself, showing my interest.

I'm getting really tired of people saying this is not acceptable. Since when do you tell your whole lifestyle and everything about yourself to someone you've never spoken too? Whatever happened to chatting and conversing? Isn't a profile enough for general interest?

nooooooooo not at all

yer supposed to strip down butt booty ass naked and do the hokey pokey.. its the only real one true way to greet another here. Get with it

(in reply to Gov51)

Post #: 32

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/9/2006 12:29:07 PM

sadisticmaster11

Posts: 21
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

I have tried several different ways to approach female subs/slaves on Collarme. I have tried being friendly and saying hello, telling something about what I seek and what interests me, trying the sortof vanilla approach, the long winded detailed scene approach and the only thing I have found is that if someone is interested, they contact me first.

Most of the time, I get no response, and sometimes I get a response of "not interested" or "no" or "no thanks" and I prefer those to the sounds of silence.

If there are 1000 subs/slaves who are available or taken or not searching or looking for females or who are only interested in a certain skin color or age range, then it makes it difficult to know what to say other than "hello". "Hello" is the universal greeting that we share in this country.

We share it on the street and in correspondence. Too often though, it is met with silence or aggression depending upon the circumstances or part of the country you live in.

Where I live, I am taken by surprise when someone says "hello" to me first especially when they do not want to bum money or cigarettes from me but I have become jaded and insulated by my social surroundings. (I plan to move to better accomodations and neighborhood, soon. Moving here was just pragmatic at the time.)

My only request is that when someone says "hello", take a look at their profile and see if there is some commanlity there. If they give you a little information about themselves that is not in the profile or even if what they give you reiterates what is in the profile, take a moment and preview the profile and see if it is what meets your needs.

I know it takes a lot of time and it gets frustrating if your email box goes into 3 digits in a short amount of time... but look for lost jewels and hopefully you will meet fewer penis brains (dick heads).

Thanks for allowing me to jump on my soapbox and I wish everyone well.

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 33

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/9/2006 12:39:06 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I think it would be about the same if someone walked up to you in real life and just looked at you and said "hello". Nothing else, no handshake, no introduction, no reason for saying hello, no question, just "hello". It's just baffling. Is this person just trying to start a conversation to pass time? Is he interested in me? Is he just looking for a friend? Is he going to tell me my fly is unzipped or potatoes are on sale at Krogers?

(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 34

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/9/2006 12:56:39 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Well, I respond to just about everything, but I -hate-hate-hate- the "hello, how are you" messages, because they tell me -nothing- about the person.

Sure, they're introducing themselves, but they're giving me nothing to go on.

Half the time, conversations end up going something like this--
Him: Hi
Me: Hello, thanks for writing.
Him: How r U
Me: Fine, thanks. Yourself?
Him: Hello, I'm fine. U?
Me: uh...hi...

I prefer someone gives me something to go on in an intro. Something like "hi, I liked your profile. I noticed you mentioned X, can we talk more about that?" Or "Hi, I saw that you and your Owner were looking for play partners. I'd be interested in pursuing that with you. Care to talk more?"

Breif, to the point, and =informative=

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(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 35

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/9/2006 1:15:17 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

I truly understand where you are coming from and if at a bar a simple hello would be nice and more welcomed than a pickup line or a five minute speech about you and what you are looking for, but this is not a bar.

A few weeks ago I was discussing this subject with a friend and we came up with the term "the vacuum". What we meant by that was most of the men write and many times tell us that they know we are getting a ton of messages from potential dominants but even acknowledging this point they write like they have are undivided attention in a bar. You do not and whether it is fair or not and whether you are a great guy or not, really cannot be judged. You are in competition with every person that writes a woman and we are going to choose the people who get our attention and interest back.

To only write short messages like "Hello, I liked your profile, please read mine and see if you have any interest" ar any other form message no matter how long just will not get you noticed. We simply cannot write or IM every single guy who appears sincere to get to know them better. It is simply impossible. But I have gotten hundreds of messages the OP mentioned and I do feel sorry but the screening process is not fair because it is impossible for it to be fair.

My preference, and I think most who have written about this topic, a nice personal message as much as you can do. Does not have to be long at all, but also must not look like you put minimal effort into it. I need to see you are serious about wanting to know more about me and the lifestyle and not part of a mass mailing campaign and/or a guy just looking for some kinky sex.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 36

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/9/2006 1:27:02 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I dont think there is anything wrong with a simple "hello" email but if your going to make initial contact like that, you had better have an excellent bio to back it up and hope that the person your emailing is inclined enough to check it out and not just delete your email. Now there lays the problem, in a world of type, people are looking for signals of attraction through the written word, it is the only means of communication you have here...so it would serve you to become skilled in it.

I know for me, I always check out someones profile when I get emailed, even with a simple hello. I'm curious by nature and it interests me to know the background of people who contact me...and I do that even though I'm not looking for a partner. I also check out peoples profiles who post to the forums who I have had no contact with at all.

Hypothetically, if I was looking for a partner on here, I would take into account men are less communicative in general than females, I don't think I would write someone off from an initial very simple email...but I'm kinda strange..and if the larger consensus is..."Uninteresting intial emails are deleted"...you should take that into account and modify your approach methods to suit the medium you are using.

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

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(in reply to MsIncognito)

Post #: 37

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 10:06:10 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

I sometimes get emails saying simply saying 'hello I am interested in getting to know you better' and my first thought is always 'what is it that made this person write to me?'. Like others have said your first email doesn't have to be a lengthy story of your life however a sentence stating why you have contacted that person in particular can make a difference. Asking a question about something they have written or mentioning something you have in common at least gives them something to respond to.

all the best in this most interesting medium that is the internet!

(in reply to Gov51)

Post #: 38

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 10:15:01 AM

snappykappy

Posts: 616
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

wishing u a super duper fantabulous awesome day

thomas michael

this is what i always write first and have had a few people think there is some other alternative to it

no it is just wishing them a super duper fantabulous awesome day hello

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 39

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 10:20:29 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
You know, this is text chatting.

I do think that is part of the problem. Too many people treating mail in the same manner as text. TXTSPK and short, one liners.... however all they manage to do is give the impression of someone with too low in intelect to interest me and even if I was, who is to lazy to be likely to put in effort into an relationship given they are too lazy to put any effort into the initial contact.

I don't expect a 10 page essay, but three or four short paragraphs indicating why they where interested enough to contact me and a little about who they are and what we may have in common, enough to get me interested enough to WANT to continue the conversation and get to know the person better.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 40

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