Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 10:26:02 AM   
snappykappy


Posts: 616
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		raven nice point but we are all different and not robots and thus each has their own unique way of doing it and there is no wrong or right way

i take it as nothing more or less than a greeting

i find it hilarious that everyone wants to treat greetings as something which should be the end to meet all ends

and yes i have read the book the first 15 seconds but the way i look at that is if they are so right then why are they not so damn wealthy (i did not purchase it i read it at the library) yep to continue the train of thought they get people to buy their book and they do make money but u can only sell so many book

now everyone can get a guphaw from this post i know i am just rambling

don't froget and drink xs energy drink

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 10:36:39 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: snappykappy
raven nice point but we are all different and not robots and thus each has their own unique way of doing it and there is no wrong or right way


Not black and white, right and wrong, no. A site like this there will always be 'some' level of responce almost whatever approach is used. However you only have to read threads like this one and the many like it in the past to see that the higher percentage of those recieving 'intro' mails prefer, like myself, to see at least a little effort put in on the part of the sender. It makes us more likely to respond.

So whilst not the definative 'right' approach, t'is obviously an approach more likely to get a favourable responce..... which is what OP's of this kind of thread are usualy looking to find.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to snappykappy)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 10:40:49 AM   
snappykappy


Posts: 616
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		i am so glad u agree with me

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 11:17:20 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		If some one piques my interest either due to a post or because there is something about their profile I like, I message them with a "hello' and mention that this is just a short note to complement them on what ever it is which has interested me.... 9 times out of ten I get a thankyou note in return. I also get hello notes on a regular basis and within a week I reply to them thanking them for their compements. Some of these people are now quite good cyber friends with whom I exchange regular notes..... 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 1:56:58 PM   
lisa1978


Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline 		"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

There is no right way or proper way to contact someone in regards to an online personal. If you are not getting the response you desire, you need to do something different. Doing the same thing over and over and not getting the response you want then being troubled by it is a waste of energy.

Try a different approach, redo your profile and read up on what the people sub/dominant say they prefer.


_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 2:02:45 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		wishing u a super duper fantabulous awesome day ....

I smiled when you sent that greeting to me a little while ago thomas michael

regards
wanders

(in reply to snappykappy)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 2:16:14 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

There's nothing wrong with it, but it does show minimal effort so I'm not sure why you'd expect more than minimal effort in return. For me, I prefer not to get to know someone one sentence at a time.  Most of  the time I ignore these types of perfunctory messages. One time I decied to respond in kind. Here's a synopsis of how it went:

His email: hi how r u?
My response: Hi. Fine thanks.

His email:  u have msn?
My response: Yes.

His email: wanna chat?
My response: No thanks.

These types of 'interactions' (for lack of a better term) really don't pique my interest. I dunno, maybe my standards are too high.


I so totally agree....I do try to be nice.  I simply tell them to only send email to this location, that this not a good place to use as an IM.  type thing....haven't had one want to actually put an effort into an email....says a lot.

Don't think I'm missing much

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 2:24:18 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Well, I respond to just about everything, but I -hate-hate-hate- the "hello, how are you" messages, because they tell me -nothing- about the person.

Sure, they're introducing themselves, but they're giving me nothing to go on.

Half the time, conversations end up going something like this--
Him: Hi
Me: Hello, thanks for writing.
Him: How r U
Me: Fine, thanks. Yourself?
Him: Hello, I'm fine. U?
Me:  uh...hi...

I prefer someone gives me something to go on in an intro. Something like "hi, I liked your profile. I noticed you mentioned X, can we talk more about that?" Or "Hi, I saw that you and your Owner were looking for play partners. I'd be interested in pursuing that with you. Care to talk more?"

Breif, to the point, and =informative=



I totally agree...and do you notice that these people that just say "hello" and nothing else usually have no profile, or maybe one line in their profile?  They don't even have the intrests filled in.   They usually want to go straight into p.m.'s or they just shoot you a message invite......sigh

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 2:34:43 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

I sometimes get emails saying simply saying 'hello I am interested in getting to know you better' and my first thought is always 'what is it that made this person write to me?'. Like others have said your first email doesn't have to be a lengthy story of your life however a sentence stating why you have contacted that person in particular can make a difference. Asking a question about something they have written or mentioning something you have in common at least gives them something to respond to.

all the best in this most interesting medium that is the internet!



I get these as well...and also get their "sister" line, tell me more about you and what you are looking for.  Now I have a pretty lengthy profile, so this pretty much just says that they are just cruising around sending the same line to everyone.  And again, my pet peeve...they usually have nothing in their profile at all.  Seems they should be telling me about "them".

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 2:39:13 PM   
badpaliden


Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		You know. After reading all this I'm really wondering why bother! lol .  Seems your damed if you do and damned if you dont! When I was in grammer school  we were taught  the basics of  writting a common letter. I'm here to tell you  that , THAT  approach isnt going to work. Nor will simply saying  hello , and a small pleasent paragrah about what it was that caught your eye and that you'd like to at least persu futher contact.  Common manners wont work, it seems. I think I'll go back to just watching and observing. my skin is only SO  thick. LOL 

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 2:52:43 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		I don't want to knock how someone does something...that's fine, but they also shouldn't try to cram what they think is "right" down my throat either.

I have this one person would send the same "hello" sentence, every few months.  I was nice, I either said thank you or just didn't reply.  So this last time I simply asked that he send me emails to this location, because it's just to time consuming to use this as messenger (and excuse me, this is a service for meeting people, so I'm assuming if you send me a message, especially every few months that you in fact are wanting to at least make a friend)...anywhooooo...well...that was just a red flag in front of a bull.  He got all up in arms and ending up blocking me I believe. 

My point is, he came into my world, I didn't go into his...and since he felt the need to make contact every few months, even if it was just his one sentence hello greeting, what was wrong with me wanting to know him better? 

Didn't understand the hostility.  He acted like I cursed him or something.  Geez, not that I thought he was trying to pick me up or anything, but this is a site to find mates and make friends is it not?

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 2:55:55 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		not sure which post you are refering to, but I was only stating my opinion and what I like, wasn't speaking for anyone else...and just sending an email that has one word on it "hello" and no profile ....  doesn't tell me much of anything.

If I can say hello, and write a couple of lines as to why I contacted..don't see why I can't get that in return...didn't ask  for anyone's life story

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to badpaliden)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 3:00:26 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		OK well I have a question here regarding this and I guess the one about the one line e-mails

I am guilty if sending one line e-mails ones that say that Im not very good at anicaiting things and am not sure what to say but if they are interested after reading my profile to contact me... is there something wrong with that.. I mean i can be raelly shy at times and I dont know what to say in these first e-mails

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 3:03:30 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OK well I have a question here regarding this and I guess the one about the one line e-mails

I am guilty if sending one line e-mails ones that say that Im not very good at anicaiting things and am not sure what to say but if they are interested after reading my profile to contact me... is there something wrong with that.. I mean i can be raelly shy at times and I dont know what to say in these first e-mails


actually enigma I think that's kind of cute.  The kind I am talking about simply say "hello"  and totally nothing else...nothing written in profile.

I think is would be adorable to get an email from someone saying they didn't know how to start things, but they were interested.  To me that would be saying why they contacted and why there wasn't more of an email

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 3:11:07 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TxBlkMistress

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

OK well I have a question here regarding this and I guess the one about the one line e-mails

I am guilty if sending one line e-mails ones that say that Im not very good at anicaiting things and am not sure what to say but if they are interested after reading my profile to contact me... is there something wrong with that.. I mean i can be raelly shy at times and I dont know what to say in these first e-mails


actually enigma I think that's kind of cute.  The kind I am talking about simply say "hello"  and totally nothing else...nothing written in profile.

I think is would be adorable to get an email from someone saying they didn't know how to start things, but they were interested.  To me that would be saying why they contacted and why there wasn't more of an email


::Smiles::
thanks... these posts made me nervouse that maybe my shyness could be seen as rudeness and i dont want that... my big mouth makes people think Im rude enough!

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to TxBlkMistress)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 3:13:52 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		::Smiles::
thanks... these posts made me nervouse that maybe my shyness could be seen as rudeness and i dont want that... my big mouth makes people think Im rude enough!
[/quote]

yep I have that disease as well.  LOL  But I know it's hard to tell that people actually mean in just type so I always try to explain, or ask them to explain....most times that works...only a few that take offense were probably up to no good any way...LOL

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 3:30:51 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Gov51, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I am of the belief, that how your greeting is and the spirit of the greeting really matters.  But, as you will soon learn, women who are approached are given a different standard then men.

As a dominant woman, I often get hellos but, nothing further.  It really is an open end feeling.  I respond with the same greeting in return of "Hello."  However, some are good to add more than a word "Hello."  It gives me a means to respond.

Men perhaps have a totally different response to such.  However, it is always nice to know what direction to go to, other than a word "Hello."

Respectfully consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Gov51)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 3:34:40 PM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gov51

I always start my messages out with a simple Hello, How are you? Introducing myself, showing my interest.

I'm getting really tired of people saying this is not acceptable. Since when do you tell your whole lifestyle and everything about yourself to someone you've never spoken too? Whatever happened to chatting and conversing? Isn't a profile enough for general interest?


If you began a letter with the word "hello" and the recipient found fault with it, he or she is probably not worth knowing anyway.  It may be the least imaginative salutation, but at least it's polite.

I wish that I had a dollar for every personalized, polite letter that I wrote and never received a reply to.  If someone takes the time to write more than a few words or a sentence, and the wording is not offensive or demeaning, I think it's only fair to reply, even with a "no thank you."

-iliv2servher



(in reply to Gov51)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 3:43:33 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Just move on to the next one.  Very few people respond to e-mail on this site anyway, so I don't really think you need to change your approach.  There are regulars who will respond to almost anything you send them (provided it's not offensive or spam or whatever), and then the other 95% that never responds to anything.  I don't really understand what those people are doing here (many of them delete their own profiles within 24 hours), but if they enjoy it, God bless.

(in reply to Gov51)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? - 6/10/2006 7:00:21 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

However, some are good to add more than a word "Hello."  It gives me a means to respond.



Hello A/all,

I usually throw in a "How is it going" or perhaps make some small talk about something in the immediate area (like "dude, radical Van sneakers, bro" or "righteous leather teddy, dudette!") with my hello.  I figure it is rude to say hello and force the other person to find something to actually say to start a conversation.

Whether a person addressed as such wants to actually respond is a different matter.

But thats just me, and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Whats so wrong with saying hello? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094