RE: Let's discuss what part gender plays in submission

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RE: Let's discuss what part gender plays in submission - 7/14/2012 10:08:32 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

From a dominant standpoint, I need looking after, too! "Symbiotic" is a good word, as is "synergy".

I don't think either's much good, frankly. The first sounds like it's got something to do with monkeys, the second just makes me think of really energetic sneezing, with lots of snot involved.

I guess the bottom line, for me, on male submission, echoes comments that have been made elsehwere on this thread: that we have no very clear idea of what it looks like. But if it comes to that, I don't think we have a very clear idea of what female domination looks like, either. I should imagine that, in both cases, it'd vary quite a lot from person to person. And in any given person, from one time to another.

Well, if all that looks too woolly (and it does, even to me

): perhaps the best *practical* (rather than theoretical) policy is to be very, very open to adapting.

Pioneering ground, and all that. Banish a preconceived notion before breakfast, every day.

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RE: Let's discuss what part gender plays in submission - 7/14/2012 10:16:26 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Coffee and a cheese and pickle sandwich. Is that too much to ask for?

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RE: Let's discuss what part gender plays in submission - 7/14/2012 11:32:44 AM

mummyman321

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I think there is a fundamental different between male and female subs in general. But I do not think it had anything to do with BDSM. BDSM is a part of who were are but certainly not the whole of who we are. As a male in a large family in the USA I was raised and taught not to show emotion. I was raised to be tough and not to cry when injured. At the same time I saw my sisters grow up and where taught to be more emotional. They were raised to be more feminine in nature. It was okay for them to cry after a movie. If this was how you were raised I cannot help be seeing this carry over into the BDSM side of things.

I do not see males more as cock centric but more as masculine. I think it is hard sometimes for the men to let go that macho nature they were taught to be all their lives.

I really cannot speak for the women side of submission because I really have not be around a female sub all that much to see how she acts/responds. So I will just give the male view point.

I have often wondered how this changes geographically. When I travel to South America I notice their culture is much more option and the men show a lot more emotion/passion in public. In Germany the males tend so show even less emotion than I see in the USA. So my view I think is definitely bias by geography and the culture of that geography.

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RE: Let's discuss what part gender plays in submission - 7/14/2012 11:35:05 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I think a man can be stoic and still be devoted to his peen, Mummy

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RE: Let's discuss what part gender plays in submission - 7/14/2012 12:53:39 PM

xLaChienne

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This is similar to a topic a group of friends and I were discussing recently.

I think in the end it boils down to men are men, women are women and how each approaches Dominance or submission will be a reflection of such. (Very generally, of course).

D or s type doesn't effect what each gender (very generally) wants out of a relationship at the core.

Men tend to be more sexual, regardless of D or s.

Women tend to be more emotional, regardless of D or s.

While there are always those that buck the status quo, in many heteronormative relationships this will be the case.

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