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ORIGINAL: NINASHARP
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ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
SSC isnt a catch all term - This situation isn't what it was meant for.
One mans sane and safe is another mans insanity and unsafe.
I actually find it quite appalling to use the term for this kind of thread because it just makes the term less effective elsewhere. But thats my ppov.
Peace and Rapture
Ok.. I guess you missed the basic word of consent in my post, but since i am giving BDSM a "bad rap" and its not appropriate to post SSC in this thread, you most likely feel I shouldn't post a opinion anywhere here. Forgive me for all I've been told through my 13 plus years of experience/ I see it all clearly now that you enlightened me with your own opinion(s).
Just copying one of the definitions from your link, which there are many listed, as it applies to each individually..
SAFE. That all parties to the activity have considered the potential risks involved, and have decided that the risk is ACCEPTABLE TO THEM.
SANE. That all parties are engaging in this activity by direct intention and can judge the effects of their actions.
CONSENSUAL. That all parties have consented to being involved in the activity. Consent might be given for every scene, or in more long-running relationships this consent might be given just once, at the beginning of the relationship, to cover all subsequent activity.
Notice the words All Paries?? Tell me how then when you are in one committed relationship and you go behind that person's back to fulfill your own desires, how these definitions apply to that person who has no idea that they are being deceived? Ohh Never mind. I won't post here, because the goddess of the boards think I might give the lifestyle a bad rap. Gawd forbid I do that, rather let those full of themselves and all the nonsense of others do it for me..
NINA
WoW - 13 years plus experience? Well done! Must mean you must know an awful lot.
ooo... and have I been elevated to goddess status now?(Actually, I am a Queen, but not to you - [:D])
Yes - it is my POV... never said you can't voice yours, doesn't mean you are right. Doesn't mean I am to you either. Isn't that great?
Seriously, name calling and showing off IMO - (fuck these disclaimers[;)]) - really shows maturity.
(please note the sarcasm - yes really - my flawed humour is quite terrible isn't it - but then, I am a complete attention whore)
Now the serious stuff - (Feel free to avoid if you take this personally or are easily offended)
If someone disagrees with you, don't take it personally - just take it as a disagreement - not a personal attack - really, to me, you aren't that important. If you cannot take someone disagreeing it is simple - don't post.
And still - SSC is not relevant to this situation IMO. Its a misused term over and over and personally, I don;t use it simply because it has been so misused. R.A.C.K is a much more encompassing term - for ME.
The OP wasn't really asking for whether what shes doing is right or wrong. She was providing a service to people going through the same thing she is going through. Of course she isnt naive enough to think people won't make judgements and I am sure the OP knew the outcome of posting that post. But the thing is - with the irony of her last post it is obvious she doesn't care on the morals people are trying to heap upon her situation - and why would she? Does her position need defending? No. Does it matter who thinks what is morally right or wrong? No. What matters is that there are people out there who aren't cheating for the sake of cheating (like meatcleaver posted) - that shit happens and people need support so they can take that final step or decision as to whether they move into BDSM or leave and just stay in a marriage. Its not as clear as doing something just to get your rocks off and be hateful. Sometimes, they are dearly in love with their partners, but one can't deny what one is sometimes and to get through that takes TIME. And it is shown quite well on this forum and many others that many people don't give a shit and have no patience - people do not want to SPARE THE TIME... but time is all we have - its not your relationship, its not effecting you - butt out. Voice your opinions by all means - say its wrong - say they are disgusting and horrid and degrading and non consensual... but end of the day - your opinion is worth nada - nil - zero - zilch.
Time and patience is beautiful. And shes offering people who are in the same situation as her and outlet to talk through their problems and deal with their possible self loathing, that pain for feeling they have to cheat. And then they can move on. Why do people get councilling for these disgusting and perverted desires where they want to be beaten and call somone 'daddy'? So they can move onto the next phase of their life... that next step. This thread wasn't talking of serial cheating - but dealing with what they have suddenly found is what they are and crave and want and whether they accept it or deny it and walk away.
And theres no need to get personal or take personally if someone disagrees with you. Just discuss it and move forward - granted that takes time and patience which again - people seem to lack or forget.
Peace and Rapture
