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Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:08:41 AM

Westwood

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/11/2012
Status: offline

Feeling somewhat mystified, so maybe posting here will help, but what kind of approach do subs (or even switches) prefer in an initial email? This is most likely covered elsewhere but I haven't found it if it is.

I have sent some mails to people and received precious few replies (as I've moaned about elsewhere). Most are deleted unread. I have taken a hopefully friendly, gently humorous approach to sending mails to people, as I think a respectful approach as though trying to make a new friend is the most appropriate. So perhaps paying a compliment re:their picture, mentioning a shared interest etc has been my MO. The one decent reply I did get, the profile was deleted the next day.

Am I simply prey to the fakers or is a more direct approach required?

Or perhaps my scary face is putting people off!!

Would be interested to read any answers though feeling that my own profile deletion isn't that far off tbh.

Thank you in advance to all those who take the time to reply.

Post #: 1

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:30:37 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

You can hover over an email and see the first few lines, and will say that it was deleted unread.

The best advice I can give is:

1) Don't think you're the exception to what some one has posted in their profile. It's arrogant and rude.

2) Treat them like a person first. If your first email contains references to sex, genitals and BDSM acts....you're probably going to get deleted.

3) One line emails like "how are you?" most likely will be deleted.

Please understand that sending an email is much like a solicitor knocking on my door. I'm under no obligation to answer just because you've knocked.

Most of the women here have been conditioned to not reply if they're not interested. A "no thank you" will 9 times out of 10 prompt a return email demanding an explanation, telling us we're fat & ugly, or telling us we're fake.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Westwood)

Post #: 2

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:33:55 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I thought 9 out of 10 of you were, we see enough threads about it out here not to lend it some serious credence.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:37:45 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Does anybody have the thread written by Stephan "Men - How to meet a women here" bookmarked?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 4

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:40:27 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I thought 9 out of 10 of you were, we see enough threads about it out here not to lend it some serious credence.

Well, I know I'm fake. I get told that over and over......

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 5

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:42:41 AM

JhonP

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

Feeling somewhat mystified, so maybe posting here will help, but what kind of approach do subs (or even switches) prefer in an initial email? This is most likely

Westwood: I cannot from experience on this site offer meaningful advice. But, my experience during the short time I have been on the sits has been far more disappointing than those recommending the site felt it would be. However, so as to not misrepresent, in the few weeks I have been on this site I have meet with and had dinner with four ladies from this site. And, I have exchanged e-mail with others. Nonetheless I am not optimistic about encountering a woman with the characteristics and qualities I am interested in. Not from this site.

< Message edited by JhonP -- 7/26/2012 9:44:06 AM >

(in reply to Westwood)

Post #: 6

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:52:41 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Does anybody have the thread written by Stephan "Men - How to meet a women here" bookmarked?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 7

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:57:16 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Why don't you pretend you and I are local to each other, send me a sample initial email, and I will critique it?

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(in reply to Westwood)

Post #: 8

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 9:58:10 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Thank you.

Best thread on the entire site on the subject, OP.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 9

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 10:00:32 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

However, so as to not misrepresent, in the few weeks I have been on this site I have meet with and had dinner with four ladies from this site. And, I have exchanged e-mail with others. Nonetheless I am not optimistic about encountering a woman with the characteristics and qualities I am interested in. Not from this site.

If you've had four dinner dates with four different women in three weeks yet are not optimistic, I suggest you refine your screening process.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to JhonP)

Post #: 10

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 10:04:54 AM

JhonP

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

If you've had four dinner dates with four different women in three weeks yet are not optimistic, I suggest you refine your screening process.

Thank you for your suggestion.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 11

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 10:06:16 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

How are they different in person than they were online?

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Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to JhonP)

Post #: 12

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 10:17:41 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

If you're you're putting a little effort, and a little of yourself, into your introductory emails, then don't change a thing. The kind of person who digs your email style is more likely to dig you.

Now... this site definitely has its share of fakes, but there are some awesome chicks out there, and amongst those awesome chicks there'll be a few that are impressed by a thoughtful, respectful, gently humorous email.

I think that over time my "radar" has improved - I only tend to email people I've a pretty good sense for, and I get a pretty good reply rate.

I think some demographics are 'worse' than others - if your big thing is gals that are 23 years old, and 5'5" tall then you're screwed - those are the default digits used by a big chunk of the fakes (don't ask me why).

So my recipe for you is... patience.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Westwood)

Post #: 13

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 11:13:10 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I thought 9 out of 10 of you were, we see enough threads about it out here not to lend it some serious credence.

Well, I know I'm fake. I get told that over and over......

I'm frequently told I'm a "fat cunt". Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 14

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 1:07:32 PM

JhonP

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

If you're you're putting a little effort, and a little of yourself, into your introductory emails, then don't change a thing. The kind of person who digs your email style is more likely to dig you.

I’ve read quite a few of your comments over the past three weeks and feel you are an asset to this site offering an understanding...perhaps even wisdom on a wide variety of levels that are not generally in evidence.

< Message edited by JhonP -- 7/26/2012 1:11:03 PM >

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 15

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 1:10:46 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

And he's witty too!

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Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to JhonP)

Post #: 16

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 1:13:54 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

I suggest dont send a cock shot in the first email...that is tackyyyyyyyyyyyy

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( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 17

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 1:14:29 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

The blue face pic is creepy, I like your other pics much better.

Be yourself, be persistent, be original, and be humorous.

Chicks like that stuff.

_____________________________

(in reply to Westwood)

Post #: 18

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 1:20:21 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

I like his 3rd picture the others look scary. He has a nice smile

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 19

RE: Initial email approach - 7/26/2012 1:28:05 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Ya, OP - keep the blue pic for your avatar here and swap the smiling pic for your main profile pic.

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Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to divi)

Post #: 20

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