Initial email approach (Full Version)

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Westwood -> Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:08:41 AM)

Feeling somewhat mystified, so maybe posting here will help, but what kind of approach do subs (or even switches) prefer in an initial email? This is most likely covered elsewhere but I haven't found it if it is.

I have sent some mails to people and received precious few replies (as I've moaned about elsewhere). Most are deleted unread. I have taken a hopefully friendly, gently humorous approach to sending mails to people, as I think a respectful approach as though trying to make a new friend is the most appropriate. So perhaps paying a compliment re:their picture, mentioning a shared interest etc has been my MO. The one decent reply I did get, the profile was deleted the next day.

Am I simply prey to the fakers or is a more direct approach required?

Or perhaps my scary face is putting people off!!

Would be interested to read any answers though feeling that my own profile deletion isn't that far off tbh.

Thank you in advance to all those who take the time to reply.






OsideGirl -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:30:37 AM)

You can hover over an email and see the first few lines, and will say that it was deleted unread.

The best advice I can give is:

1) Don't think you're the exception to what some one has posted in their profile. It's arrogant and rude.

2) Treat them like a person first. If your first email contains references to sex, genitals and BDSM acts....you're probably going to get deleted.

3) One line emails like "how are you?" most likely will be deleted.

Please understand that sending an email is much like a solicitor knocking on my door. I'm under no obligation to answer just because you've knocked.

Most of the women here have been conditioned to not reply if they're not interested. A "no thank you" will 9 times out of 10 prompt a return email demanding an explanation, telling us we're fat & ugly, or telling us we're fake.



mnottertail -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:33:55 AM)

I thought 9 out of 10 of you were, we see enough threads about it out here not to lend it some serious credence.



LadyPact -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:37:45 AM)

Does anybody have the thread written by Stephan "Men - How to meet a women here" bookmarked?




OsideGirl -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:40:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I thought 9 out of 10 of you were, we see enough threads about it out here not to lend it some serious credence.


Well, I know I'm fake. I get told that over and over......



JhonP -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:42:41 AM)

quote:

Feeling somewhat mystified, so maybe posting here will help, but what kind of approach do subs (or even switches) prefer in an initial email? This is most likely


Westwood: I cannot from experience on this site offer meaningful advice. But, my experience during the short time I have been on the sits has been far more disappointing than those recommending the site felt it would be. However, so as to not misrepresent, in the few weeks I have been on this site I have meet with and had dinner with four ladies from this site. And, I have exchanged e-mail with others. Nonetheless I am not optimistic about encountering a woman with the characteristics and qualities I am interested in. Not from this site.



kalikshama -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:52:41 AM)

quote:

Does anybody have the thread written by Stephan "Men - How to meet a women here" bookmarked?




http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm



kalikshama -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:57:16 AM)

Why don't you pretend you and I are local to each other, send me a sample initial email, and I will critique it?



LadyPact -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 9:58:10 AM)

Thank you.

Best thread on the entire site on the subject, OP.



kalikshama -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 10:00:32 AM)

quote:

However, so as to not misrepresent, in the few weeks I have been on this site I have meet with and had dinner with four ladies from this site. And, I have exchanged e-mail with others. Nonetheless I am not optimistic about encountering a woman with the characteristics and qualities I am interested in. Not from this site.


If you've had four dinner dates with four different women in three weeks yet are not optimistic, I suggest you refine your screening process.



JhonP -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 10:04:54 AM)

quote:

If you've had four dinner dates with four different women in three weeks yet are not optimistic, I suggest you refine your screening process.


Thank you for your suggestion.



kalikshama -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 10:06:16 AM)

How are they different in person than they were online?



crazyml -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 10:17:41 AM)

If you're you're putting a little effort, and a little of yourself, into your introductory emails, then don't change a thing. The kind of person who digs your email style is more likely to dig you.

Now... this site definitely has its share of fakes, but there are some awesome chicks out there, and amongst those awesome chicks there'll be a few that are impressed by a thoughtful, respectful, gently humorous email.

I think that over time my "radar" has improved - I only tend to email people I've a pretty good sense for, and I get a pretty good reply rate.

I think some demographics are 'worse' than others - if your big thing is gals that are 23 years old, and 5'5" tall then you're screwed - those are the default digits used by a big chunk of the fakes (don't ask me why).

So my recipe for you is... patience.



searching4mysir -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 11:13:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I thought 9 out of 10 of you were, we see enough threads about it out here not to lend it some serious credence.


Well, I know I'm fake. I get told that over and over......



I'm frequently told I'm a "fat cunt". Is that supposed to be a bad thing?



JhonP -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 1:07:32 PM)

quote:

If you're you're putting a little effort, and a little of yourself, into your introductory emails, then don't change a thing. The kind of person who digs your email style is more likely to dig you.


I’ve read quite a few of your comments over the past three weeks and feel you are an asset to this site offering an understanding...perhaps even wisdom on a wide variety of levels that are not generally in evidence.



kalikshama -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 1:10:46 PM)

And he's witty too!



divi -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 1:13:54 PM)

I suggest dont send a cock shot in the first email...that is tackyyyyyyyyyyyy



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 1:14:29 PM)

The blue face pic is creepy, I like your other pics much better.

Be yourself, be persistent, be original, and be humorous.

Chicks like that stuff.



divi -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 1:20:21 PM)

I like his 3rd picture the others look scary. He has a nice smile



kalikshama -> RE: Initial email approach (7/26/2012 1:28:05 PM)

Ya, OP - keep the blue pic for your avatar here and swap the smiling pic for your main profile pic.



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