RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (Full Version)

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sunshinemiss -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (7/31/2012 7:47:00 AM)

I have a D/s kind of relationship - with my Personal Trainer. He doesn't call it that. He calls it "you must meet your goals" and says that we are in this together. He tells me what to do - he tells me what to eat and when and how much, when to sleep, what to drink and how much, what clothes to wear, the kind of lotion for my skin (don't want saggy skin if I can help it!), accessories I should wear for protection. He has other restrictions (eye / touch) based on his culture that are not a part of my culture. He punishes me when I don't follow the goals he's set out for me. He's not my lover or boyfriend, there's nothing sexual or romantic going on. But darned if it doesn't feel pretty darned D/s.



fucktoyprincess -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (7/31/2012 2:07:24 PM)

Will admit to not having read entire thread, but just wanted to say that I feel that attraction is a very personal thing and people are entitled to be attracted to whatever they find subjectively attractive.

I think that trying to change someone within a relationship is never a good idea. Whether you are the one trying to change, or the one trying to make the other change. General rule of thumb is that people don't change. (Yes, I know many of you probably have exceptions to that, but in my life, I have found it to be a good rule of thumb). [sm=2cents.gif]



littlewonder -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (7/31/2012 6:42:18 PM)

That's a great post sunshinemiss and maybe that's what the op needs..instead of a dom, find a very good trainer who will help her lose the weight, maybe do a few bootcamp sessions where the trainer is on your ass every second, telling you what to do.

I admit I like watching the weight loss reality shows on tv and how these people are bossed around by the trainers lol. Yeah, they end up crying, wanting to punch the trainer, wanting to walk out but in the end they come back because they know that's what they need to get them back on the straight and narrow.



SadisticDom731 -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (7/31/2012 6:58:46 PM)

I'm one of those Doms who actually puts it in his profile that I'm not attacted to BBW. Why, it's my personal taste. I'm never offend by subs who say the are not interested because of age, race, height or what ever. Simply these are there personal choices and I respect that. How anyone maintains their body is their own business wether I find it attactive is mine. There has been a push over the last few decades to make everyone equal though legislation, which if needed I have no problem. But this doesn't mean that everyone will argee or even think these people equal. That's life, acceptance is not universal if it was I should be able to tell all my firiend and co- workers I'm a Dom and a sadist. I can't they won't accept that. It's life, I suggest you rethink your position and maybe allow Doms their personal choices as we allow yours



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (7/31/2012 7:00:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticDom731

I'm one of those Doms who actually puts it in his profile that I'm not attacted to BBW. Why, it's my personal taste. I'm never offend by subs who say the are not interested because of age, race, height or what ever. Simply these are there personal choices and I respect that. How anyone maintains their body is their own business wether I find it attactive is mine. There has been a push over the last few decades to make everyone equal though legislation, which if needed I have no problem. But this doesn't mean that everyone will argee or even think these people equal. That's life, acceptance is not universal if it was I should be able to tell all my firiend and co- workers I'm a Dom and a sadist. I can't they won't accept that. It's life, I suggest you rethink your position and maybe allow Doms their personal choices as we allow yours

If that was to me, huh?

If not, nevermind!

[:D]



gungadin09 -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (7/31/2012 10:06:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelinChainz
...I love all body types and respect everyone's choice in what they choose to look like and who they find attractive.

Then why ask the question?

I have a serious question for Doms/Masters that will not accept BBW sub/slaves. If you met a lady that had everything you wanted in her attitude, disposition and willingness to submit would you be willing to help her transform her physical body into what you would find pleasing?

I would assume "will not accept BBW sub/slaves" means just that.

I am talking about a safe weight loss program involving diet and exercise... Speaking for myself I know that with the drive of my Master/Owner behind me, as well as his support, pride, and even rewards for doing well would be a huge boost.

I have heard of Doms like that. Then again, anyone who writes "will not accept BBW sub/slaves" must not fall into that category. Why not choose someone else? Why not separate the goals of finding a relationship and losing weight?

Now of course me personally, I WANT to lose the weight already first for health reasons and second because I am not happy with my body.

Any Dom worth his salt would say: don't come to me if you feel unhappy with yourself.

I am absolutely NOT talking about forcing someone to do this because it would please you.

Then why address the question only to Doms who have said only a thin woman would please them?


A person absolutely has to WANT to change and have the desire within them to be successful.

Which means a Dominant man is not requisite for change. Since you have the desire already, why wait for someone else to tell you to do it?


Pam (who knows how easy it is to wait for someone else to change you.)



sunshinemiss -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 1:24:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

That's a great post sunshinemiss and maybe that's what the op needs..instead of a dom, find a very good trainer who will help her lose the weight, maybe do a few bootcamp sessions where the trainer is on your ass every second, telling you what to do.

I admit I like watching the weight loss reality shows on tv and how these people are bossed around by the trainers lol. Yeah, they end up crying, wanting to punch the trainer, wanting to walk out but in the end they come back because they know that's what they need to get them back on the straight and narrow.


Well.... I have been known to "You F*cker!" him and cry a time or two. (Particularly when he says "Don't cry"... *sigh... sorry*) And I did actually punch him one time when he played a serious mind fuck on me. He was happy as a pig in poop that it had worked so well on me.

Yep. He bosses me around. But he also takes great care in paying attention to me. We worked out together today, and he could see I was struggling (jet lag is a bitch). He had me do a much lighter workout, and instead of having me run next to him or run alone, he ran in front of me so I could just follow and not have to think. He reads my body amazingly well.

The more I get to know him, the more I respect him. What really turned my head was this: We'd been jogging in a park, and he went to get his bicycle about 30 yards away. While he was walking there, he picked up a piece of litter and took it with him and put it in the trash. The littlest thing. It was his action of clearly taking responsibility for the space that he used that gave me the double take. If he takes such good care of what is public space, how will he treat the people he loves? His girlfriend is one lucky woman.

I don't think it's understating to say I adore that man. (Very few men I say that about, by the way). He meets my standard. I feel very lucky to have him in my life.



kinkykismit -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 1:48:53 AM)

First off don't change for some Dom what happens if he moves on to the next play mate/toy. You can't lose your weight for anyone but yourself. I know I have been there and did that. I hate being a BBW but I'm not going to go change for a man to love me or make me his submissive. Look at it this way work on doing it yourself work on it and when you get down there to the "size they want" you can tell them to kiss your ass because you can get better then their arrogant self center ass.

Be yourself you don't want some Dom that is going to make you change before they will be happy with you. YOU want someone that will help and support your changes and be proud of you when you do meet a goal or be there for you to help you make it through that fail. I know I have failed to meet some of my goals and my collard Dom is there to support me and encourage me to try harder. That means more to me then to live in fear of disappointing him.



UzeYouHarder -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 8:15:35 AM)

For me, as a Dom and also as a partner, health is important to me, as it should be. IF a sub is willing to put in the work to commit to a healthy lifestyle then training may be a possibility.



Endivius -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 4:43:02 PM)

I've never been into Bowling, it's just not a sport I can respect. If that makes me a dick so be it. And women bowlers? Might as well watch paint dry. It's just as exciting and at least the paint won't make me feel guilty for watching 40 yr old lesbians dressed in men's clothing chest bumb eachother for getting a spare.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 4:44:51 PM)

Heyyyyy! Bowling is a fine activity! So is CURLING. Winter lasts six months here!



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 4:45:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkykismit

First off don't change for some Dom what happens if he moves on to the next play mate/toy. You can't lose your weight for anyone but yourself. I know I have been there and did that. I hate being a BBW but I'm not going to go change for a man to love me or make me his submissive. Look at it this way work on doing it yourself work on it and when you get down there to the "size they want" you can tell them to kiss your ass because you can get better then their arrogant self center ass.

Be yourself you don't want some Dom that is going to make you change before they will be happy with you. YOU want someone that will help and support your changes and be proud of you when you do meet a goal or be there for you to help you make it through that fail. I know I have failed to meet some of my goals and my collard Dom is there to support me and encourage me to try harder. That means more to me then to live in fear of disappointing him.

I really hate to see this attitude, of calling someone arrogant, because they prefer thinner women. Using that logic, men who prefer fat chicks are arrogant self centered asses too.

Folks need to just let folks be folks.



JeffBC -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 5:10:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Well.... I have been known to "You F*cker!" him

I presume you say it with a capital "F" though so he knows you still respect him?



sunshinemiss -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/1/2012 5:27:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Well.... I have been known to "You F*cker!" him

I presume you say it with a capital "F" though so he knows you still respect him?




Oh... yes.... *nods sagely* Capital F... He's definitely a Capital F Fucker. :)



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Doms that do not accept BMWs (8/1/2012 6:01:55 PM)

I still don't get it.



Winterapple -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/2/2012 8:14:06 AM)

That your focus is on men who say upfront they
aren't interested no need to apply makes it appear you might suffer from I'd never be a
member of a club that would have me as a
member syndrome. The root cause of that
syndrome is often fear of intimacy which may
be why you're overweight to start with.

You have to do it yourself, for yourself.
No ones going to save you. There's no
Dom on a white steed whose going to ride
up and offer to pay for you to have a lap
band procedure.

First think about therapy to explore various
emotional issues and hang ups, then find a
support group of people who know what
you're going through not doms who are
looking for a fixer upper. Find people who
can give you healthy and realistic advice
on how to lose weight.

It's not going to be easy getting control over
any self destructive addictive behavior ever is.
When you control of your life and a better
understanding of yourself that's when you
begin to look for a partner. Or accept yourself
as you are and seek a partner who accepts
you as you are.



kalikshama -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/2/2012 12:19:41 PM)

FR - I've just lost 20 # with the free website myfitnesspal.com, which I started 15 weeks ago.

Coincidentally (?) things are now starting to happen in the job search department.

Gah, my lucky interview pants are too big now.



mnottertail -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/2/2012 12:20:44 PM)

You will not require pants at my interview, and you WILL be lucky.



kalikshama -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/2/2012 1:07:13 PM)

Yay to saving money on alterations!



ARIES83 -> RE: Doms that do not accept BBWs (8/2/2012 4:20:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

You will not require pants at my interview, and you WILL be lucky.


Bravo



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