Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

[Poll]

Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline?

I would never publicly, verbally or physically discipline.

26% (6)

I may verbally show my displeasure, discipline is for home.

52% (12)

I may show displeasure, verbally and with discreet discipline.

17% (4)

I may verbally scold, but keep the physical side low key.

0% (0)

I will verbally and physically discipline without regard.

4% (1)

I strike without warning like a ninja!

0% (0)

Total Votes : 23

(last vote on : 1/1/2013 6:46:51 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 5:34:02 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

I'd be interested in seeing what everyones
preference is for the time and place they
discipline their subs...
Mainly, if a sub steps out of line in public,
how would you react?
If it warranted a smack at home would it get
a smack at the shops?

I have a policy of "all scores get settled when
returned home", I used to public face slap on
occasion, but curtailed that in favour of a
quite life.
And also having your girl cry in public isn't
fun, now I will just clearly say what
behaviour I am unhappy with, then maybe a
quick discussion. If I'm still not happy I'll say
that "I'll sort it out when we get home".

I used to have a big problem with
communicating when I was annoyed, and I'm
still working on it I guess. But anyway...
I voted number 2.

-ARIES

**By public I mean, shopping mall, non-bdsm
get together ect... Normal everyday situations**

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 8/3/2012 5:50:13 AM >

_____________________________

530 DAYS

Post #: 1

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 5:40:33 AM

Lucifyre

Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline

hmm...for me to answer, I need you to better define "public"

Do you mean at the local dungeon? Or in the grocery store kind of public? Or does "anywhere we may happen to be at the time of said fuck up" apply?

Lucifyre

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 2

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 5:41:05 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I used to public face slap on occasion

/speechless/

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 3

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you public discipline? - 8/3/2012 5:44:37 AM

SpaceSpank

Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline

I have a policy of "nothing that has a good chance of getting us into trouble" rule with any sub/slave.

Depending upon the exact transgression I may verbally voice my displeasure with her, especially if a disapproving look fails to get her to stop (which is all it should take honestly).

The physical, or even more stinging verbal, punishments are strictly for private. I want to be able to fully voice my displeasure with her behavior, and I want to discuss exactly why she is getting punished, and I want it to be meaningful. Half assing it (or worse) in public is not likely to accomplish what I want.

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 4

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 5:44:41 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

I do what my mother did- a look that could kill and a firm hand squeeze.

hasn't failed yet.

i don't do public anything, because you make the public part of it.

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 5

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 10:34:06 AM

kitkat105

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I used to public face slap on occasion

/speechless/

Yup. If I saw that, you know who I'd call? THE POLICE.

BDSM or not, that is royally fucked up. Please explain to me how in public this could not be viewed as domestic violence.

ETA: Odeen only has to give me the look. I know exactly when I've pushed a boundary.

< Message edited by kitkat105 -- 8/3/2012 10:35:14 AM >

_____________________________

"WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS!"

Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

Secretary - ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 6

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 11:28:10 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

I used to public face slap on
occasion, but curtailed that in favour of a
quite life.

So you had no compunction of hitting her in front of your mother?

If only in front of someone else's mother, but not your own, then you're a coward. Own it or don't.
But if you propose to upset someone's elderly parent or grandparent, do it to yours, not mine.
If you propose to scare small children, make sure they're your relatives, not mine.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 7

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 11:43:23 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Never in public. He will usually give me a look and say "you'll pay for that at home". If it's something that really bothered him, he'll do those things and will usually be a little cold towards me and neither one of us is having anymore fun in public.

Now he does do little funny things in public, like pinching me and I can't make any noise because it will draw attention lol. Ever try to hold back a YYEEOOWWW? LOL

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:04:04 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitkat105

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I used to public face slap on occasion

/speechless/

Yup. If I saw that, you know who I'd call? THE POLICE.

BDSM or not, that is royally fucked up. Please explain to me how in public this could not be viewed as domestic violence.

ETA: Odeen only has to give me the look. I know exactly when I've pushed a boundary.

A lot of the things I do could be seen as domestic
violence, I'm not sure what to tell you, face slapping
has been part of some of my relationships in the past.
the fact I've done it and discontinued it, is just
experience evolving my Dom-ness, there is a process
of personal growth that everyone goes through to be
who they are now... Or would you girls prefer I told
you I was born with Mastery in my bones.

People become who they are by
trial and error/ trial and success.
Temper personal growth
Learning from experience

-ARIES

**had to put this up!**
Sean connery the boss haha

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 8/3/2012 3:32:29 PM >

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to kitkat105)

Post #: 9

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:08:08 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I am a ninja with the look, but get into it with a partner in public, d/s or not = hell no.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 10

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:19:41 PM

LanaDeVille

Posts: 209
Status: offline

I consider slapping someone in public violating the boundaries of others. What if someone who'd been domestically abused saw someone slap their significant other? How would that person feel watching that display?

Big no thank you. In fact, if I saw it, I wouldn't even think "BDSM", because I like to think most BDSM-ers have more sense than that. I'd call the police. BDSM would be the last thing on my mind.

This reminds me of the idiot couple who decided to stage a kidnapping where everyone could see it. Police resources had to be used, other people, who didn't know it was a game, had to suffer through watching it. The couple got charged too. And rightly so.

I'm only 19 and by no means some 'Dom-ly Dom expert" of all things "Dom-ly", but I feel like this is common sense no matter what one's experience level is.

< Message edited by LanaDeVille -- 8/3/2012 3:26:38 PM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 11

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:30:50 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

Public displays of affection, sure, but displeasure? Hmm, not likely for me. I'd talk with her about it when it was appropriate, and that would be only for her and I.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to LanaDeVille)

Post #: 12

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:36:34 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitkat105

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I used to public face slap on occasion

/speechless/

Yup. If I saw that, you know who I'd call? THE POLICE.

BDSM or not, that is royally fucked up. Please explain to me how in public this could not be viewed as domestic violence.

ETA: Odeen only has to give me the look. I know exactly when I've pushed a boundary.

A lot of the things I do could be seen as domestic
violence, I'm not sure what to tell you, face slapping
has been part of some of my relationships in the past.
the fact I've done it and discontinued it, is just
experience evolving my Dom-ness, there is a process
of personal growth that everyone goes through to be
who they are now... Or would you girls prefer I told
you I was born with Mastery in my bones.

People become who they are by
trial and error/ trial and success.
Temper personal growth
Learning from experience

-ARIES

**had to put this up!**
Sean connery the boss haha

This, because he is right, no one knows everything upfront. I find it admirable that he can at least see his mistakes and correct them. So kudos for you Aries.

As far as your question, I have found the "look" works wonders. And as LW said I occasionally use the "you'll pay for that when we get home" line as well.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 13

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:37:38 PM

Shininglight23

Posts: 1336
Status: offline

I had one experience when I was 18 where the person I was with felt it necessary to reprimand me in public. He slapped me in my face... in front of children... and their parents... etc. I was totally mortified. I left him right then and there.

I will never forget the look on the child's face. It is permanently etched in my brain, and all I can think is... if that was my nephew...what would I do? How do you explain domestic abuse to a child?

There's a time and place for whatever it is everyone partakes in... IMHO.. anything behind a look or hand squeeze is inappropriate for public situations.

-Allie

(in reply to LanaDeVille)

Post #: 14

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:41:30 PM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
Status: offline

Look, hell just a tone of voice... 'nuff said.

(in reply to Shininglight23)

Post #: 15

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 3:58:04 PM

kitkat105

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline

Trial by error? Really?

In my honest opinion, slapping someone's face in public as an act of "domination" is not anything to do with BDSM. It is only a lose of temper and a serious character flaw. I don't expect anyone to act like they are a "twue Dom" but even in a world where common sense isn't common I don't see how that level of public humiliation and abuse of power within a relationship could EVER be construed as personal growth.

That's no different to housewives thinking Christian Grey is a fucking Dom.

_____________________________

"WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS!"

Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

Secretary - ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to CRYPTICLXVI)

Post #: 16

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 4:18:13 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

This, because he is right, no one knows everything upfront. I find it admirable that he can at least see his mistakes and correct them. So kudos for you Aries.

Thanks K, I appreciate it.
I think the whole point in being the one steering
the boat is, if your on a bad course, you can
decide to change it.

ShiningLight23,
That does sound mortifying, I think it's very bad
form to make displays like that in public.
If it's not to personal, what happened to bring on
the slapping?

-ARIES

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 17

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 4:28:03 PM

Shininglight23

Posts: 1336
Status: offline

Aries,

I am..umm.. for lack of a better term.. tactless? My honesty can get me in trouble sometimes.. even now. Not to say that I haven't gotten better! We're all a work in progress, right?

It was completely unwarranted... I simply said something that he didn't want to hear. We were meeting at a store to pick something up for a family party (my family) prior to going together. I mentioned something about going back to his apartment so he could... "dress more appropriately to meet my family".

He felt like I embarrassed him in public (even though no one could hear) and he wanted to do the same to me.

Instead, I put the items down... apologized to the family, and the clerk. I then left and never spoke to him again.

Some people are just ass-hats.

-Allie

(in reply to ARIES83)

Post #: 18

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 4:42:55 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

Allie, sounds like you handled it quite well,
I admit, I'm one of those guys who could wear
rags in public and not care, comes with being
a tradesman, but the women in my life do a
excellent job of trying to make me presentable.
Keep up the good work.

-ARIES

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to Shininglight23)

Post #: 19

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 5:34:22 PM

LanaDeVille

Posts: 209
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitkat105

Trial by error? Really?

In my honest opinion, slapping someone's face in public as an act of "domination" is not anything to do with BDSM. It is only a lose of temper and a serious character flaw. I don't expect anyone to act like they are a "twue Dom" but even in a world where common sense isn't common I don't see how that level of public humiliation and abuse of power within a relationship could EVER be construed as personal growth.

That's no different to housewives thinking Christian Grey is a fucking Dom.

Thank you KitKat.

(in reply to kitkat105)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109