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[Poll]

Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline?

I would never publicly, verbally or physically discipline.

26% (6)

I may verbally show my displeasure, discipline is for home.

52% (12)

I may show displeasure, verbally and with discreet discipline.

17% (4)

I may verbally scold, but keep the physical side low key.

0% (0)

I will verbally and physically discipline without regard.

4% (1)

I strike without warning like a ninja!

0% (0)

Total Votes : 23

(last vote on : 1/1/2013 6:46:51 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 6:00:44 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

A lot of the things I do could be seen as domestic
violence, I'm not sure what to tell you, face slapping
has been part of some of my relationships in the past.

I'd be very disappointed if face slapping IN PRIVATE wasn't part of his repertoire. But in PUBLIC? This:

quote:

I consider slapping someone in public violating the boundaries of others. What if someone who'd been domestically abused saw someone slap their significant other? How would that person feel watching that display?

Big no thank you. In fact, if I saw it, I wouldn't even think "BDSM", because I like to think most BDSM-ers have more sense than that. I'd call the police. BDSM would be the last thing on my mind.

This reminds me of the idiot couple who decided to stage a kidnapping where everyone could see it. Police resources had to be used, other people, who didn't know it was a game, had to suffer through watching it. The couple got charged too. And rightly so.

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Post #: 21

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 9:10:30 PM

Winterapple

Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
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Where and what kind of place(s) did you slap your
bitch up at? And on any occasions did anyone
come over and bitch slap you?
Assuming you aren't completely full of
shit you were lucky you didn't get
arrested.
It's very, very uncool to trespass on others
in that way. Asshole with a capitol A
to force your kink on innocent bystanders.
And don't drag out that weak ass excuse
about how a lot of what you do would
be considered domestic violence.
If it's consensual and behind closed
doors no one would consider it such
because everyone who would fucking
know about about it would be in on it.
If you're going to slap the willing in public
you might as well slap the unwilling
because that's what you're basically
doing when you do something like that.
If you ever have.

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Post #: 22

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/3/2012 9:15:11 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanaDeVille

I consider slapping someone in public violating the boundaries of others. What if someone who'd been domestically abused saw someone slap their significant other? How would that person feel watching that display?

Big no thank you. In fact, if I saw it, I wouldn't even think "BDSM", because I like to think most BDSM-ers have more sense than that. I'd call the police. BDSM would be the last thing on my mind.

This reminds me of the idiot couple who decided to stage a kidnapping where everyone could see it. Police resources had to be used, other people, who didn't know it was a game, had to suffer through watching it. The couple got charged too. And rightly so.

I'm only 19 and by no means some 'Dom-ly Dom expert" of all things "Dom-ly", but I feel like this is common sense no matter what one's experience level is.

You may only be 19 but you have a lot more figured out than some folks twice your age.

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Post #: 23

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/4/2012 7:27:44 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I took the broad view with the second option. Verbally acknowledging to the person who needs the behavior correction isn't necessarily saying that everyone else can hear it. At a party or other social environment, "The Look" may not be entirely sufficient. However, pointing out the behavior at the time of the discretion ensures that he's aware of what I will be dealing with at home.

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Post #: 24

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/4/2012 7:33:50 AM

crazyml

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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If I can't make myself understood with a look that makes it clear what I'm thinking, and that there'll be a conversation to have later, then I'm just not that in tune with the person I'm with.

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Post #: 25

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/4/2012 8:04:39 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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Yup, what LP and ML said. Not that it happens very often, but I get "the look" that tells me to back the hell off and to expect to talk about it later.

I have indeed called the police for an incident that was happening in a street when a man was screaming at a woman, she was screaming back at him and he slapped her hard across the face. I didn't want to get between that asshole and his fist, so I called the police and let them deal with it.

The officer later told me that it was a 'domestic' and the woman had not only refused to press charges but was angry with me for getting involved with something that wasn't my business. Well, if you bring that shit onto a public street then it becomes everyone's business, IMO.

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Post #: 26

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/4/2012 2:24:35 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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Usually when I do something in public that I know he won't like, I usually catch it before I'm even finished and I shrink back and wince before he even has time to look at me with that stare. lol

I admit that it rarely happens though. If it does it's because I said something subconsciously without even realizing it until it's actually happening. lol

Sometimes it's really not fair when you're that in tune with your Master lol.

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Post #: 27

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/4/2012 4:27:13 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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Yes, trial and error. There is always room to see the course of action one takes isn't the right, and that one is able to change things. In anything there is trial and error.

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Post #: 28

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/4/2012 11:58:52 PM

Kana

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I ruthlessly rule my household with a cocked eyebrow.

And no, I don't disciple in public (other than maybe a terse "You are gonna pay later"), but that's far less out of any concerns for her than A-respect for others, B-a general aversion to outlandish PDA and C- A far more specific aversion to being arrested.

Now, if we're in a dungeon or at a play party things are all sorts of different.

That said, this situation just doesn't arise, The lilone knows me, she knows my tastes and likes, what I approve of and what I don't. Not to mention that she's fairly demure and certainly not the sort to make a scene anywhere, much less in public.
Sighs
We're such Puritans.

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Post #: 29

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/5/2012 3:10:12 AM

punisher440

Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
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FR
I have to agree with most of the posters above,there is no way I would deal with a problem in public beyond THE LOOK and a whispered 'You'll pay for that later'.Involving the public in my kink is not the way I roll,we usually catch enough flak from vanillas without being stupid about our kinks.

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Post #: 30

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/5/2012 4:31:17 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Yup, what LP and ML said. Not that it happens very often, but I get "the look" that tells me to back the hell off and to expect to talk about it later.

I have indeed called the police for an incident that was happening in a street when a man was screaming at a woman, she was screaming back at him and he slapped her hard across the face. I didn't want to get between that asshole and his fist, so I called the police and let them deal with it.

The officer later told me that it was a 'domestic' and the woman had not only refused to press charges but was angry with me for getting involved with something that wasn't my business. Well, if you bring that shit onto a public street then it becomes everyone's business, IMO.

OT but thanks for doing this and please do it again if the situation arises. People often don't call the police because all too often the victim does get hostile, but it may do more good than the caller ever knows.

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Post #: 31

RE: Doms & Dommes, Do you publicly discipline? - 8/8/2012 8:18:46 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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Just as generic leadership stuff... praise in public, punish in private.

On a more detailed look, I don't think we behave in this way at all. Carol isn't looking to "step out of line" and I'm not looking to "keep her in line". Together we both just go through life trying to stay on the same page. The closest scenario we have to has more to do with me being unable to get her attention when someone else is talking to her than it does some desire of hers to be rebellious. We've come up with subtle little things like a tug on her hair.

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Post #: 32