RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (Full Version)

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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 3:53:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JhonP


I am very interested in the many crossroads the unfolding of this thread will produce. However based on the regular posters past performance I suspect nothing of a rational or logical nature will will become its part.



And where's your perfectly rational and logical offering to the thread?

It's easy to criticize, much harder to actually DO.


My relationship with himself is based in mutual trust and respect. We also love each other and would be close friends even if we didn't have a sexual relationship.

The sexual relationship is what fuels the D/s. It's a combination of pleasure, transparency, and service. He has power over me and exerts control. However, I don't see us as being unequal in the relationship, just different.

It's not about one being better or more able or stronger than the other, it's more a celebration of our differences, and how we can use those differences to create a stronger more able whole.



ClassAct2006 -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 4:13:13 AM)

When I am in a D/s relationship it's about control (except in areas not ceded or rather, cede back to me - such as work, children, money).

The stages are choose someone who has a sufficiently similar world view as if you're too different and cede power to that different person it can be disastrous.
Then obey.
Lots of talking, lots of communication.



Karnikula -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 6:15:39 AM)

So, which of all the attributes, motivations, forces and feelings you have listed are direct result or strictly limited to D/s relationships ?

example: (and probably one of the answers) His control over me, due to his dominant and my submissive nature, results in a deep sense of fulfillment (happiness) that I would otherwise not be able to achieve.
or: A constant sexual undertone in all my actions at all times in life due to my absolute surrender to his will.




JhonP -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 6:18:57 AM)

quote:

And where's your perfectly rational and logical offering to the thread?

It's easy to criticize, much harder to actually DO.


Hush woman, be ashamed, be very ashamed your arrogance and at other’s throat manner reflects badly on your doms ability to impose even a resemblance of social grace.



Karnikula -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 6:35:16 AM)

I think everyone will agree that Drama isn't something to be chased after, but rather avoided and squelched.

I know it's the internet and all such but myself and hopefully others too are actually looking for meaningful exchange here.



LadyPact -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 6:39:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JhonP

quote:

And where's your perfectly rational and logical offering to the thread?

It's easy to criticize, much harder to actually DO.


Hush woman, be ashamed, be very ashamed your arrogance and at other’s throat manner reflects badly on your doms ability to impose even a resemblance of social grace.

You mean you're really going to try to pull this card because she's a switch? Maybe you're just not used to females who do a better job of the task at hand than you did. For the record, she's absolutely right.

Maybe you could have your sub come to the boards to show others how to kiss the ass of every cyber twatwaffle who slaps the title Dom on his profile. Don't expect the people collared to others to do so.




searching4mysir -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 9:35:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JhonP

quote:

And where's your perfectly rational and logical offering to the thread?

It's easy to criticize, much harder to actually DO.


Hush woman, be ashamed, be very ashamed your arrogance and at other’s throat manner reflects badly on your doms ability to impose even a resemblance of social grace.

Oh please [8|]


She doesn't owe any stranger on the internet "social grace". What she exhibited was only "arrogance" to someone with a small mind.



littlewonder -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 9:52:15 AM)

quote:

example: (and probably one of the answers) His control over me, due to his dominant and my submissive nature, results in a deep sense of fulfillment (happiness) that I would otherwise not be able to achieve.


This except I can achieve this with any relationship whether "vanilla" or "M/s". I have always been in traditional relationships with men who are a dominant personality and the head of the house. It just so happens that I like Master for all the same reasons I would like any man who meets my compatibility...honesty, integrity, spirituality, physical and mental attraction, similar likes, dislikes, etc....



Karnikula -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 9:56:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

This except I can achieve this with any relationship whether "vanilla" or "M/s". I have always been in traditional relationships with men who are a dominant personality and the head of the house.



Well that's still a D/s relationship isn't it? Vanilla / Kinky is about sexual dominance and submission, not social.
But I'm defenitely also wondering about sexual D/s.

So in that light, is your D/s also sexualised ?



littlewonder -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 9:58:01 AM)

Of course it is. We're in a long term committed relationship. So yeah, sex is a part of any normal, healthy relationship.



Karnikula -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:01:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Of course it is. We're in a long term committed relationship. So yeah, sex is a part of any normal, healthy relationship.



If I may repeat myself, is your D/s sexualised?



crazyml -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:04:44 AM)

I'm not sure that D/s has to be a distinct and separate part of a relationship and therefore not sure that it needs to be sexualised or not.



littlewonder -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:04:48 AM)

well being that our entire life is d/s then yes, of course. <scratches head>

It's not like we go and say "ok we're only d/s when I tell you what to buy at the grocery store" lol. He is the dominant personality so it is this way throughout everything.



Karnikula -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:06:21 AM)

Now then, do you feel sexually aroused when told to kneel before handing over the wine glass you were just sent to fetch ?

Edit: Yes but there's a difference between getting off on submission and just plainly being involved with a dominant partner as submissive in the whole picture, while going grocery shopping.

If he gave you a detailed list on how to shop for what you are to shop, would you get off on that control? would you get off on your obedience doing it? would you get off on pleasing him in that manner?



littlewonder -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:08:48 AM)

lol..being he doesn't drink, it's usually a cup of tea. I automatically start a cup of tea when he walks through the door and I kneel at his feet because again, it's just automatic. It doesn't make me wet. It's just another part of our relationship just like me washing clothes, doing dishes, running errands, taking care of his stuff that needs to be done, etc...



Karnikula -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:12:38 AM)

So when he issues a non-routine order to you (or makes a request or introduces a new rule, protocol / whatever), that still does not involve any sex acts or imply any - you'd never be aroused by this?



littlewonder -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:17:03 AM)

No, not really unless it's something like some kind of sexual act or something. Otherwise if he enacts a rule such as "make sure to pick up my dry cleaning every Friday", it's not gonna make me wet. I just say ok and do it.



crazyml -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:17:38 AM)

O/T.

littlewonder - you have cmail.



sexyred1 -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:19:30 AM)

OP, not sure why you are trying to analyze D/s relationships bit by bit.

We are all so different in what we want and need.

How does me telling you that I get off when a Dominant man is able to make me feel like a quivering pile of goo help your own relationship?



Karnikula -> RE: Analyzing D/s relationships bit by bit. (8/4/2012 10:21:42 AM)

Well most people who find BDSM view D/s in a very sexual manner, even if they seek to practise it 24/7 (which is already quite rare). In their eyes, obeying an order should remind them of the authority/control involved and thus be sexually arousing. Even if it's just scrubbing the floor.

I wonder if we can find such a person right here to discuss this with as well ...




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