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The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 1:20:07 AM

cranialcarnage

Posts: 34
Joined: 9/14/2004
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I came a cross a message thread with this topic on bondage dot com and I am curious what the Doms think here. I apologize if this thread already exists here.

Do you care if your sub never has an orgasm, or do you consider her sexual needs to be insignificant in relation to your own?

Post #: 1

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 8:13:40 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

apologize if this thread already exists here.

I sure don't remember a thread on this, great topic.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 2

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 9:14:37 AM

SentForu

Posts: 303
Joined: 3/23/2004
From: Middle Tennessee
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Yes, wonderful topic. I have had conversations with Doms about this myself. LOL, this has actually been the deciding factor of my turning them down before. So, Masters do tell?

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Myra

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 3

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 9:26:15 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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Of course I care, very deeply. beth's sexual needs are very significant. I enjoy playing and teasing her VERY responsive body. I enjoy her pleasure immensely.

Part of our TPE relationship is that I control beth's orgasms. she must ask permission before allowing her body to experience them. It's an important aspect of our relationship.

beth is not denied often. I'll refer her to this thread so she can respond directly regarding her satisfaction with this arrangement.

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 4

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 9:30:05 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
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98% of the time, I make sure she has an orgasm before I do (the other 2 percent of the time, she is just giving me a bj

)

Granted, she may have to wait for quite some time for it, and maybe even beg for me to either stop or allow her to cum, but she gets off before I do - I so enjoy watching her experience this 'thing' I have created within her / guided her to.

Besides, if I didnt care if she never had an orgasm, how could I use orgasm control/denial as a behaviout modification tool and/or punushment/reward?

And another thing to take into account is her well being - both mental and physical - and (somewhat) regular orgasms are an integral part of both, in my opinion.
I feel those 'doms' who think the sub is only there to satisfy their sexual needs are maybe, maybe 1/2 step above the HNGs - just in it for the sexual side of it, and not really understanding of the deeper levels involved.

Just my tuppence.

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(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 5

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 11:02:54 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I'll refer her to this thread so she can respond directly regarding her satisfaction with this arrangement.

this slave is blessed indeed with a body that responds to all manner of stimulation--oral, audio, visual, tactile--and also with a mind unencumbered with negative sexually related burdens. add to this the blessing of a Master who has taken this to extreme levels, there have been many times when this slave has been completely exhausted from orgasms! Master requires His slave to ask permission, and at times, it is almost impossible to form the words from deep inside of subspace. there have been a few times when this slave has been denied, but not many, and that denial has always been done with Master's specific purpose in mind. to this slave, they are not "her" orgasms anymore, they belong to Master and He allows her to enjoy them because it pleases Him.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 6

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 11:29:01 AM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
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Of course I care. I find one-sided sex to be very little fun. So... four to seven would be about normal. Two means that it's a quickie which is cutting into our sleep time. Zero means either that she is being punished, or that she has a major reward coming within a few days, and is under orders to save her energy.

I've even been known to give her aphrodisiacs. Obviously she doesn't need them, but, well, why not?

< Message edited by NoCalOwner -- 11/2/2004 11:30:13 AM >

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(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 7

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 11:44:34 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
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From: Washington
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quote:

I've even been known to give her aphrodisiacs.

What do you use? Maybe that should be a whole other thread.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 8

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 1:01:57 PM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

I've even been known to give her aphrodisiacs.

What do you use? Maybe that should be a whole other thread.

I think it probably should, I'll go start one over in the health section.

_____________________________

"Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent rather than passive agreement; for if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter."
-- Bertrand Russell

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 9

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 2:44:06 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I enjoy it very much when my slave cums. Of course I always control when and if she does. That is a big part of the enjoyment of it for me. I have only denied her once, as a punishment. That lasted one week.
Otherwise, seeing her cumming for me with all she has is something that happens on a daily basis. Lucky slave!

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 10

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 3:13:49 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

Do you care if your sub never has an orgasm, or do you consider her sexual needs to be insignificant in relation to your own?

Midear Carnage-

I care enough that I listed multi- orgasmic on my list on the 'perfect sub' thread- and I should have added polymorphic as well.

If I am in charge, I expect my needs to be met, but if I want to stay in charge, I'd better see to hers as well. In cases of submissives that have difficultly orgasming, I will make special efforts, and frankly, really enjoy being able to make her come easily- feels a lot like control to me<g>.

there are of course, those dominants that don't care about her pleasure at all. I expect they are rather lonely, though...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 11

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 4:24:05 PM

Hawkins

Posts: 31
Joined: 10/14/2004
From: I'm English but I live in the Netherlands
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I also get a huge amount of enjoyment from my Kate's orgasms. She is also multiorgasmic, and can be made to come so much it is cruel.

Also, by using a verbal trigger, at first when she was coming, and then just before she came, I can now get her to come on command (if being stimulated). Great fun and to be explored more.

I guess I know I am going to come, and the more pleasure I can give the more pleasurable the rest is for me.

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(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 12

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 5:30:52 PM

INSIDEYOURMIND

Posts: 483
Status: offline

To allow my sub to orgasm increases my sense of control over her.
To take her close many times, and stopping all movement just before she comes, and watching her body shudder is highly erotic to me.
It is a given that she ask for the pleasure, and again it is my decision as to when, and how many times.
I know there are many nights that she loses track of the amount of orgasms she experiences.
My sub, who gives of herself without reservation, should and does experience pleasure, as deserved.

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

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Post #: 13

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 6:11:42 PM

subbiejenn

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
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*sneaks in Masters section*

i would put any Dom who doesn't care if i get a orgasm or not in the "Troll" or "HNG" section. *grins*

i can see sometimes not being able to cum for one reason or another but overall if i am kept happy i will make them very happy.

JMO

*sneaks back out*

~jenn~

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 14

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 7:06:10 PM

wetrope

Posts: 117
Joined: 8/9/2004
From: GATINEAU, PQ
Status: offline

My sub's orgasm is very special, she always comes first, her orgasms are a total turn on for me. She cums, and cums, and cums when I make her, and other times she almost cums and stops, and stops and stops, its an unbelievable to have so much control. Well she gives it to me, i dont take it. Guess its not just her orgasm its her, wowwwwwww!

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Wetrope

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Post #: 15

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/2/2004 9:42:28 PM

cranialcarnage

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Joined: 9/14/2004
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I had no idea this thread would generate so many responses.

I, too, use the orgasm issue as a way to judge whether or not I will stay with someone, whether it is a D/s relationship or a vanilla one. I don't mind delay myself, but I consider outright denail to be detrimental to my mental and physical health. Orgasm denail makes me feel like I am something less than human, a mere toy for the amusement of another. Delay, however, can cause greatly intensified results; that is why I usually opt for delay anyway.

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 16

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/3/2004 4:05:06 AM

subbiejenn

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Joined: 7/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cranialcarnage

I had no idea this thread would generate so many responses.

I, too, use the orgasm issue as a way to judge whether or not I will stay with someone, whether it is a D/s relationship or a vanilla one. I don't mind delay myself, but I consider outright denail to be detrimental to my mental and physical health. Orgasm denail makes me feel like I am something less than human, a mere toy for the amusement of another. Delay, however, can cause greatly intensified results; that is why I usually opt for delay anyway.

*peaks in*

i think Orgasm denial is a lot different when used in "play" then a Dom just not caring if submissive gets a orgasm or not. Orgasm denial is a kink just like everything else and some get into that, it is something the Dom/Domme/Master has to think about and "plan" (for lack of a better word at 7 am) so it isn't that they don't "care".

JMO
~jenn~
*off to get coffee*

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 17

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/3/2004 10:54:09 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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Personally, one of the most Dominant acts (to me) is making my submissive orgasm repeatedly whether she wants me to stop or not.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

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David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to subbiejenn)

Post #: 18

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/4/2004 11:50:57 AM

TaurusMCMLVIII

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Do you care if your sub never has an orgasm, or do you consider her sexual needs to be insignificant in relation to your own?

If you ever come across someone who believes in the latter then just don't turn and walk away... RUN!

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

Post #: 19

RE: The submissive orgasm - 11/4/2004 12:19:33 PM

TypeWriter

Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline

Folks,

For me it is this simple. My orgasm is a gift to my little one and her orgasm is a gift to me. Each one should be treasured as such.

I have my butterfly ask permission before she cums. It gives me such great feeling of love and control for her to do that.

Also I have to be honest whens he is close and all moaning and breathless for her to ask in that voice always makes my cock throb.

We are slowly working on orgasm ion command and may move on to other things.

When she cums fire works (arches her back and rattles the windows) it is the most delicious thing i have ever seen.

It is fun both to do multi-orgasmic (last i lost count =)_) and delay (last time at her place i would not let her make any noise and played with her for about an hour before letting her cum.

I just try to honor the gift she gives me and honor her with mine.

M

(in reply to TaurusMCMLVIII)

Post #: 20

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