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Kana -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/14/2012 8:38:55 AM)
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quote:
As to the family. It's not at their feet. The headed for home and the bottom wanted to stay. It's not like they could drag her out of the door against her will.
I disagree. They taught her to play, they accepted her knowing her condition and somehow still thought that it was all hunky dory acceptable to teach her how to put people in life threatening situations. They let her use their name. They let her trade off of their reputation in doing so (As in, "trust me, I'm a member of famous family X, so I know what I'm doing." Now, I don't know if these things happened or not, but often they are implied or assumed). They basically gave a kid a gun and let the kid loose on an unsuspecting public.
Now I dunno bout you LP, but if that same gal came to me (And this is as a solo dom, not even as family head where I've assumed responsibility for those underneath) and made me aware of her condition, I would utterly refuse to teach her a thing and strongly, as in vehemently, suggest that she throw away her dream of domming and find a more appropriate less potentially lethal hobby, like gardening.
Would you have taught her how to top?
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From what I understand the mentor was not at the party at all, however the mentor arranged for friend's of the submissive to be present. When the friend's left the submissive decided she was staying, and sometime after that this happened. The mentor had no idea this scene was intended, and was not asked or consulted before the scene was planned.
To quote ol Harry S-the buck stops here. You want the glamour and joy of heading a family, you also get the responsibility that goes with that. My boss gets days off. And sometimes shit goes wrong when he's not there, and guess who gets the blame from on high, takes the rap anyway?
You know it.
Why?
Because he's the man in charge. It happened on his watch...whether he was present or not he is still responsible for the actions taken in his bailiwick...and all those actions taken by a subordinate.
They taught a brain damaged person that it was OK and safe to top...and it's quite clearly not.
That's on the family head AFAIC, because they are responsible for what happens and who they take in and who they allow to use their name and reputation.
(Tricky things, reputations. They take a lifetime to build and can be demolished in 1 second of stupidity)
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On the mentor calling an ambulance when the submissive refused, this can be tough. Unfortunately the submissive has the right to refuse medical care. However, I would have done it.
There would have been no option. I would have taken them to the hospital or called an ambulance-those would have been the options. And only those...
Anything else and I'm never talking to them again, they are completely cut out of my life forever.
(And trust me here, when I walk, I walk. I don't look back. I don't give redo's. There are no do-overs here. I'm gone and never coming back).
And I'm still calling the ambulance. Let the medics deal with the blithering moron.
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I also would not be so welcoming or forgiving to the domme who did this. She was irresponsible in nearly every possible way, and has scarred someone for life.
Yep.
As I also hold those above her in the hierarchy equally responsible.
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Even 4 years ago when I started playing publicly vetting was important
Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. I can remember walking into parties in the early 80's where there was no vetting. Pay cash at the door and you're in. And from what I've heard of the wild swinging seventies, things were often even looser then at places like Hellfire...
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Overtime we also got an increasing amount of flak for insisting on vetting for any kink friendly event at our house, which amazed me because it is OUR house.
You crazy wild ass woman, now you talking crazy talk, just babbling.
You mean, like respect you and yours? Damn Reeds, I always thought you were kinda rational for a chica [:-]
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The number of people doing risky play in public spaces has increased, and the number of people who came from a close knit, supportive, and risk aware culture is diminishing.
Mirroring a trend that cuts across all society, not just the BDSM microcosm. Welcome to the information age. Ain't it grand?
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