RE: Why does this happen?

RE: Why does this happen? (Full Version)

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UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 2:54:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I had thought the burns were more from the heat transferance from the candles to the metal needles....(this occurred to me after finding out how quickly the heat transferred from the ignition of my car to the car key after the car had been sitting in the hot sun all morning...). If you compare the placement of the needle to the distance to her spine, it doesn't look like it was the needles that caused the burns. Especially considering the fact that the burns seem heaviest where the candles touched the skin closest, I'm going to guess that the burns are probably caused by a combination of hot wax drips as well as the skin's proximity to the the open flame. I really don't think it would have mattered much in this case which exact type of candle would have been used, and how hot the wax was (though it would have mattered some at the very least, obviously) because I think that just the flame of the candles themselves, burning that closely to the skins, that slowly, would have caused considerable damage. Try holding your finger 1/4 of an inch away from a lit birthday candle for a full minute. It will hurt like hell, and it will burn enough to blister, even if you're not getting any of the wax on you.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 3:30:57 PM)
Oh I agree, placement had much more to do with the burns and also I suspect ZERO preparation for an emergency. But people should not come away with the idea that US made birthday candles are a good idea for wax play unless you have some experience and discernment and can judge the what you are doing.

JeffBC -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 3:41:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I am starting this thread for someone to explain this to Me. Why does this shit still happen? Why do people allow themselves to be uneducated and do this kind of thing? A part of the answer is, of course, just plain statistics. When enough people are doing enough shit then something's going to go wrong somewhere. In this case, what went wrong was "insufficient research". People.. including you and me... do stupid shit every day. The internet brings the best of it to our doorsteps.

LadyPact -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 4:59:43 PM)
Jeff, with all due respect, My friend, this is supposed to be what the internet is for. To date, I have never sent anyone to the emergency room. I may even do so tomorrow, but I promise you that it won't be because of ignorance when an education was available. For those wondering, I just posted to the discussion on Fet a few moments ago. Anyone on My friends list there can find it.

Delilya -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 5:19:37 PM)
This is why, even though I have a very high interest in wax play, that I've never done it. I've read so much on the subject, but have yet to see it in practice. Until I've had time to watch and learn in person, I don't feel qualified to engage. Broken toys aren't much fun.

OsideGirl -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 5:26:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar If you compare the placement of the needle to the distance to her spine, it doesn't look like it was the needles that caused the burns. Especially considering the fact that the burns seem heaviest where the candles touched the skin closest, I'm going to guess that the burns are probably caused by a combination of hot wax drips as well as the skin's proximity to the the open flame. Actually, the bottom's family head is saying it was from the needles. The heat traveled down the needle and the burns were actually under the skin and weren't visible, until a while after. Other's are maintaining that it had to be the candles.

JeffBC -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 6:54:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Jeff, with all due respect, My friend, this is supposed to be what the internet is for. No, I get it. And honestly, we can all acknowledge that the whole thing was pretty stupid. The only thing I know about wax play is what I saw that one time with you... and even so I understand that there are issues with wax temperature and, I'd assume, temperature in general -- fire being like that and all. But still. I wonder how many truly stupid things you and I both did today that but for one small thing might have turned out very differently. When you multiply across the internet... well...

DreamyLadySnow -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 7:38:58 PM)
I was taught not to break my toys in case I want to use them again. It really does SEEM simple

angelikaJ -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 8:16:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar If you compare the placement of the needle to the distance to her spine, it doesn't look like it was the needles that caused the burns. Especially considering the fact that the burns seem heaviest where the candles touched the skin closest, I'm going to guess that the burns are probably caused by a combination of hot wax drips as well as the skin's proximity to the the open flame. Actually, the bottom's family head is saying it was from the needles. The heat traveled down the needle and the burns were actually under the skin and weren't visible, until a while after. Other's are maintaining that it had to be the candles. The other thing is: she did not get immediate medical attention when an issue became apparent. She is just now on antibiotics and is using silvadene. We don't know what the wound margins were like before they got infected so it is kind of hard to judge now where the initial damage was.

LadyPact -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 8:54:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC No, I get it. And honestly, we can all acknowledge that the whole thing was pretty stupid. The only thing I know about wax play is what I saw that one time with you... and even so I understand that there are issues with wax temperature and, I'd assume, temperature in general -- fire being like that and all. But still. I wonder how many truly stupid things you and I both did today that but for one small thing might have turned out very differently. When you multiply across the internet... well... You know, I thought about that, and I don't think I'm ever going to call what you saw the 'bad wax' ever again. Mean? Maybe, but not bad. I'm a sadistic bitch, but I'm not destructive.

TNDommeK -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/8/2012 10:18:49 PM)
Wow, fucking wow. I showed Hubby the pic, his words exactly were: "19, 20 year old..50 shades of grey, handle your business" That translates to dumbass. Poor guy, wow.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 3:44:34 AM)
Both of them are in their 50's though. I actually read the entire thread last night, and, I gotta say, the folks involved are more mature than me. The top did apologize publicly, is now Fet friends with the "protector" of the bottom. Both the top and the bottom have admitted their mistakes in judgement, and it seems that everyone is using this as a learning opportunity, hopefully to prevent such things in the future. I would be looking to kick the tops ass if it was me, but, this is one more reason I am not interested in "play", just for the fun of playing. I do wish them all well though.

MariaB -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 1:18:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub Both of them are in their 50's though. I actually read the entire thread last night, and, I gotta say, the folks involved are more mature than me. The top did apologize publicly, is now Fet friends with the "protector" of the bottom. Both the top and the bottom have admitted their mistakes in judgement, and it seems that everyone is using this as a learning opportunity, hopefully to prevent such things in the future. They say every cloud has a silver lining. Imagine how that Domme must be feeling? She didn't deliberately wound this woman, She just did something stupid and now has to live with the awful consequences. I have seen some stupid things. A woman's hair on fire from fire cotton, a Dom setting his own eyebrows on fire from testing his faulty equipment on himself. I have helped attend a woman going into cardiac arrest when her Dom left her chest harness on too long, I've seen a St Andrews cross give way with a guy tied to it (he broke his wrist). A man dropped on his head from 3 ft whilst tied upside down in a body bag and I have been in a life death situation when my trachea was crushed in some over exuberant play and I have permanent neuropathy on my right arm from needle play. Each and every one of these incidents could of been avoided and in all but one of these incidents it was stupidity that took over the moment. Of course we need to learn and of course our teachers/mentors need to carry on learning so that they can pass on their knowledge and experiences but when something goes wrong in this world of exhibitionism we shouldn't be surprised. We should just learn from it and move on.

kitkat105 -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 1:59:58 PM)
Like I mentioned in another thread here recently, as much as I would like to believe in the theory of evolution the more the world seems to be devolving into a world like in the movie Idiocracy. Stupid people everywhere, doing stupid things and then breeding with other stupid people.

LanaDeVille -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 5:35:47 PM)
I really wish people wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the younger age group had anything to do with this. I work at a store. I've yet to see a younger person even touch 50 Shades, it's mostly older women in their thirties and forties. Also, most of the people around my age that claim to be into BDSM seem mostly interested in internet wanking. The few that I've seen take that leap to real-time seem to make an effort to educate themselves. It is sad though, nonetheless. I'm a bit confused though about how it happened if both people were in a public space like that though. I feel like someone would have noticed. Stupid things happen. But they seem less likely to happen when there's someone else present. More eyes keeping a look out and all that jazz.

LadyPact -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 5:54:05 PM)
Maria, that is the only positive outcome at this point. This story and the pics are all over the net. It's why I started the thread here. For the educational purpose. If someone remembers this before agreeing to scene in the same manner, hey, it was a success. I do stand by My earlier post about the difference between an accident and a mistake. An accident happens when the risks have been properly assessed. A mistake is what happens when we are not properly educated. (Do we, as a community do enough for education? Perhaps not.) Lana, you are quite correct. Neither of these participants were of the younger set. Thank you for bringing that up. I asked Myself the same question about the public play space. Had I seen some twit with birthday candles, I would have had a WTF moment. From Maria's posts, I gather they are made differently here than across the pond. Maybe this is the bad information that contributed to this event? It's not so much why does this happen. It's more why, in this day and age when so much information is available, does this have to happen? I can't see it. I've tried. I just can't.

TNDommeK -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 6:48:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LanaDeVille I really wish people wouldn't jump to the conclusion that the younger age group had anything to do with this. I work at a store. I've yet to see a younger person even touch 50 Shades, it's mostly older women in their thirties and forties. Also, most of the people around my age that claim to be into BDSM seem mostly interested in internet wanking. The few that I've seen take that leap to real-time seem to make an effort to educate themselves. It is sad though, nonetheless. I'm a bit confused though about how it happened if both people were in a public space like that though. I feel like someone would have noticed. Stupid things happen. But they seem less likely to happen when there's someone else present. More eyes keeping a look out and all that jazz. I would say probably because every single time He logs onto collarme and reads journals, he sees some 19 or 20 year old writing about how they tried the things they read in 50 shades of grey; or he sees where some person has really hurt their partner beating the shit out of their special pink parts because they read that Christian Grey did it. Those would be the people he would be referring to. At the time I showed him the pic only, he had no idea the ages or any other info. Neither did I. But as stated above, I am glad they have learned from this.

LadyPact -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 6:50:14 PM)
Fifty shades of bullshit is probably one of the worst examples of people believing fiction for education.

JeffBC -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 6:53:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB I have seen some stupid things. A woman's hair on fire from fire cotton, a Dom setting his own eyebrows on fire from testing his faulty equipment on himself. I have helped attend a woman going into cardiac arrest when her Dom left her chest harness on too long, I've seen a St Andrews cross give way with a guy tied to it (he broke his wrist). A man dropped on his head from 3 ft whilst tied upside down in a body bag and I have been in a life death situation when my trachea was crushed in some over exuberant play and I have permanent neuropathy on my right arm from needle play. Each and every one of these incidents could of been avoided and in all but one of these incidents it was stupidity that took over the moment. Of course we need to learn and of course our teachers/mentors need to carry on learning so that they can pass on their knowledge and experiences but when something goes wrong in this world of exhibitionism we shouldn't be surprised. We should just learn from it and move on. That... basically... was what I was trying to say with my first answer. Why does this go on? Hell, in some measure the more appropriate question is "why isn't it happening more often?" No matter how careful we all are, eventually stupidity wins. Sooner or later the odds will have their way. I'm not saying it's good... only that it's not mysterious.

TNDommeK -> RE: Why does this happen? (8/9/2012 6:53:38 PM)
Agreed.

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